Sunday, December 31, 2006


I have been sick for 3 days so that's why I haven't written anything. First day was feel like poo day, yesterday was cough and sneeze day, today is blow my nose day. I've slept a total of 22 hours in 2 days. I think it was that nasty cold weather in Seattle and the fact that we were both run ragged during our visit. Not that we didn't enjoy seeing everyone, but we didn't really get a chance to rest.

Tonight we are not going out. We'll let everyone else go out and get drunk for us. We have a nice bottle of wine chilling in the fridge (which will taste better than nyquil and still do the trick) and will watch the ball drop on t.v. Aren't we exciting?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Holiday (not so much)

1. Every minute of my time is spoken for. I love seeing everyone, and spending quality time, but ever since we arrived last Friday I haven't had a moment to myself and now I'm starting to get cranky and pissy, and for those of you who I will be seeing in the next few days, I apologize in advance. :)

2. Of course, this holiday sucks without mom. She is the peacemaker and without her everyone seems to be on edge. It's just not the same. I think if she was here I wouldn't have had a wonderful and fun dinner with Julia and Dustin (Matt's sister and her boyfriend) at Peking restaurant in Puyallup, one of the few times I've felt free during this vacation.

3. No Christmas tree, no milk and cookies, had to hang the stockings myself, on Christmas this year. It was so different the past holidays weren't even comparable.

Sorry to complain, but I need everyone to understand where I'm at and where I'm coming from. In some ways, in many ways actually, I can't wait to go HOME to L.A. Where it's just Matt and me, and our kitties, and our life together.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Party Girl

Such a cute little hussy!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

1 week

And we're off to the Northwest. I can't believe time has passed so quickly. Matt is currently finishing a draft that he's been working on all semester, and tomorro is his last day of school for 3 weeks. Sometimes I forget how hard he is working, and how many risks he's taking by wanting to be a writer for the rest of his life. He's so brave to want to turn his art into a career. That's something I could never do. Just give me community theater and I'm a happy camper.

A good friend of ours is in town and will be staying with us for a few days. And look for pictures in the next few days from last Saturday night, a dinner party where we played Quelf, and all hell broke loose...

Friday, December 08, 2006

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Year of life

Brie is due at the end of January! It's a girl, but for privacy's sake I won't mention the name they have selected. Have to keep some things a surprise.

And to add on to the exciting news, another one of my dearest friends is due in June. She and her husband are very excited to welcome their parakeet in 2007. :)

Hopefully another friend or 2 will be due next year as well. You know who you are, and have fun trying!

Congratulations to Jenny and Brie. I am so happy for you!


This is normally my favorite time of year. However, because of reasons that I'm sure I don't have to mention, I am anti-holiday this year. I want nothing to do with trees, decorations, christmas carols, commercials...bah humbug! It's a constant reminder of what I will be missing this year, never mind the fact that tv stations are constantly running advertisement for breast cancer research and/or foundations. :P Again, it didn't work for my family, I've lost my mother, so please have some sensitivity and stop bothering me! So I just switch the channel or turn off the radio/tv all together. I've pretty much stopped watching tv at this point. Thank goodness for TiVo recording America's Next Top Model last night. Not only did I get to fast forward through the commercials :P but Caridee beat that snotty Melrose.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Dream dream dream

I had the best and worst dream last night. I am filled with regret and home, sadness and happiness, and yet I'm so ready to burst into tears right here and now. Matt says it's a wish fulfillment dream, showing me what I really want.

I dreamed that Mom was alive and well, that she had woken up during some sort of service, but no one cared to call me. I found out when I flew home for Christmas. I even said to someone, "Am I dreaming?" and Mom said "No, why?" to which Katie responded "I'll tell you later." I even said that someone should pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming, and they did and it hurt, but I didn't wake up.

I'm now filled with this sense of false hope and incredible sadness that when I go home she'll be there. And she won't. And now that the tears are falling, I need to go get some kleenex.

Friday, December 01, 2006

So sleepy

I'm exhausted. It's why I haven't been writing much. Today I'm forcing myself to stay awake because I need to sleep well tonight. I am getting up very early tomorrow morning to go support Amanda at her karate test at 8am. She's trying to get her orange belt. I hope she gets it. I know she's been working hard. So I'm hoping to sleep well and go to bed early. Since I start bootcamp on Monday, I need to start going to bed early anyway. I'll be going 3x a week next week and the week after, and then the next week I'll go 4x. Hopefully I'll be in some sort of better shape by the time the holidays roll around.

Monday, November 27, 2006


Shouldn't that be one of the dwarves names from Snow White?

I'm not feeling very perky today. I am missing mom terribly with the holidays approaching. The way she was planning shopping trips, decorating the house, family get togethers. I know christmas is not going to be the same with out her at all, and I know that means it's time to make some new memories. Of course, I'd rather just have her back in my life, but that's a wish that won't come true. So now I am just waiting and slightly dreading going home. Part of me wants to stay here in my own reality, dealing with my own depression and troubles. But now I'm one of the grown ups and it's my job to help out those who need it. I am the oldest daughter and big sister.

We had a wonderful vacation. Much wine was drunk and bought, and much money was spent, and we now have a closet full of wine. We are not allowed to buy any more until we can clear some space. Who wants to come over and help us drink it? That's all I need. Another depressant.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Heat wave

I know, I know. You feel so bad for me because it's almost 90 today and I'm melting. Most of the rest of the country is freezing, and here I am, able to get a tan just by going for my regular Monday walk with Mary on the Venice Beach Boardwalk. But let me tell you, I would welcome a cold snap after weeks of this heat. We have our a/c on almost all the time. Oddly enough, I'm really looking forward to the Seattle weather of rain and cold just so I can cool down.

Sunday, November 19, 2006


Instead of getting the rest of the mole removed, I just got my stitches out. In about 2 more days I can remove the bandage and will go back to get the rest of it removed in January.

GenCon SoCal was fun but small. Saw Gamers 2 twice and laughed very hard. We will be bringing up a copy during our holiday visit so we can share it. It's the best work they've done so far, and I'm really proud of them, especially Matt.

Thursday is Thanksgiving and we're heading to Venice Beach for a potluck.

Friday we take off for Paso Robles, San Luis Obispo, and Nipomo...also know as wine country! Can't wait. We've needed time together for so long, just distractions. We're celebrating my birthday, his birthday, and our anniversary.

And I have a furry fluffy kitty laying belly up on the kitchen cute. She's trying to stay cool in this weird SoCal weather. 80-90 degrees in November. What the heck!?

Thursday, November 16, 2006


This week has just been full of gaming.

I hate to admit it, in a way, but I have found an online game that I just love and yes, it is gaming. For all of you that I have told "I can't stand gaming." I didn't know about Puzzle Pirates. Find out more about it here. I love it and it's a great escape from the world in my head when the world gets to be too much.

Matt has become addicted to World of Warcraft. I assume you all know what that is? He's researching for Gamers 3, becoming immersed in this world of quests and mythical creatures. He's only been playing a couple of weeks but I can tell you that I have felt like a Worldcraft Widow already.

Tomorrow we are off to GenCon SoCal in Anaheim and staying the night at a nice hotel. There are 2 screenings of Gamers 2 scheduled and we're hoping for a 3rd one on Saturday night. It should be fun, and I get to have some time with my husband which is very important.

Sunday, November 12, 2006


So that birthmark that I have near my left eye? Turns out it's a mole. A mole I have wanted to get rid of for the past year. For reasons that I will not share, I have finally started the process of getting it removed! Friday I went in for surgery and was totally fine afterward even with the anesthesia coursing through my veins. I was even able to take the subway home. This Friday I go in again to get the second part of it removed, and then I imagine I'll go back in another week to get the stiches out. It will be interesting not to have it on my face anymore. I can't remember a time when it wasn't there. As my friend Dawn said, "It will be a whole new you!"

My tailbone is feeling better but still sore. I take tylenol everyday. :)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Errands and travels

Today I have to drive my sore behind to LAX because I left my meds on the British Airways flight from London. Apparently British Airways "doesn't mail" so I have to drag myself on a potentially 2 hour trip (depending on traffic) for one measly bag of meds. Granted, it's an expensive measley bag, but still...the airline can't just stuff it in a bag and mail it? I tried to tell the woman that I'm injured and it's painful to drive and LAX is a long way away, but she just said "Well, I live much further from LAX than you. It's not that far." I wish I could have the ability to slap someone through the phone.

Next weekend is Gencon SoCal. I just found out. It will be first time for me to see Gamers 2 on the big screen which is very exciting. We've got a room for one night at a nice hotel with breakfast included. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again, and seeing the film. I will take pictures, don't worry.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


I'm healing in 2 ways:

My tailbone isn't broken! The chiropractor says it should take another 10 days to heal. If it's not better by that time, then I have to get an internal adjustment. But at least it's not broken or fractured which is a huge relief.

I've been thinking about Mom quite a bit these last few weeks, just wishing she was around and how unfair it is that she's gone. The depression has sunk in and I'm fighting through it, at least I'm trying my best to.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Pain in the butt

I fell on the tour bus in Barcelona on Sunday and landed smack on my tailbone. The flight home was NOT fun, and I'm now in constant pain. After 2 visits to the chiropractor and some xrays, there is a chance that my tailbone could be fractured or even broken. OW. He is waiting to get the review from the xray technicians and will call me on Tuesday to let me know what's going on.

If it's broken or fractured, then I need to see an orthopedic doctor at Kaiser. If it's a subluxation, then I need to get an internal adjustment from a chiropractor in Burbank. Either way, it will hurt, but I'm sure some sort of major pain reliever will be involved. At least I hope so.

Friday, November 03, 2006

A pirate's life for me

My pirate name is:

Mad Dog Bonney

Part crazy, part mangy, all rabid, you're the pirate all the others fear might just snap soon. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from
part of the network

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Pictures from home

View from the front porch. On a clear day you can see the Cascade Mountains.

View from the back porch.

Dad and Johnny on the front porch.

The apple tree in Mom's garden. I had no idea what to do with so many apples, and I don't know that anything will happen to them. But if you need some organic apples, let me know and I can hook you up. :)

Front entrance to the house in Seattle. Sidelight was designed by Mom.

Aunt Muriel, myself, and Emily, who I have not seen in 12 years! It was a great reunion. And kudos to Auntie Mu, who graciously came up to Seattle for another two weeks to look after Katie while Dad was on a business trip.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


I've been up nearly 24 hours. Can't think clearly. Made it home safe, with all bags in tow. Happy to be home. Will eat dinner and go to bed.

Fell down some stairs on the tour bus in Barcelona outside La Familia temple (Goudi). Tailbone hurts like hell and have some pretty bad bruises on my arms. :P 11 hours on a plane from London to LA is not fun.

Saturday, October 28, 2006


Oh my god, this place is stunning. I can't get over how different the parts of the city are. You have the new part, which was built when the city hosted the Olympics in '92, with wide streets and square blocks. Then the old part which has little streets that wind and turn before you can see where you are going! We are staying at a lovely hotel called AB Vildomat in the new part of the city, but we're going to walk or take the Metro to La Rambla, which is mainly a pedestrian area full of shops, restaurants, and street performers (much like the 3rd street promenade in Santa Monica).

This afternoon Rafael and Francisco drove us around Barcelona and we had a wonderful lunch at the port near the Olympic Village. I ate paella for the first time and it was divine. Then we drove by Gaudi La Familia cathedral, and there are no words to describe this massive place. I took some great pictures from the street and we get to go tour it tomorrow, along with other Gaudi architecture.

I am in love with this city so far. Very cosmopolitan, yet it feels like a small city.

Friday, October 27, 2006


So here we are in St. Etienne (sp) and it's a beautiful warm fall day. Soon we'll take off and explore the town, maybe find a cute french cafe and have lunch. Yesterday we arrived and went straight to the St. Just glass factory which was really interesting. It was a very long day, though, and when I arrived to my room I took out my contacts, changed into my pj's, and climbed into bed. A huge bed, at that, and slept until 8:15! It's really a clue to me that I'm getting older when I consider that 8:15 is "sleeping in".

Last night we went to Magali's house and had champagne, a bunch of french cheeses, salad from the garden, and lasagnae with mushrooms she had picked over the weekend. Lovely! We also met her husband, George, who is a very "french" man, but is charming and interesting and he and Magali get along so very well. They were fun to watch in the kitchen as they made dinner.

Tonight it's an early night because we have to be up at 4:30 in the morning. Our flight to Barcelona isn't until 8:30, but we are an hour from the Lyon airport. One of the girls at the factory, Celcilia, her father owns a cab company, so he has given us a discounted taxi rate to the airport and will take us himself. Should be interesting. He speaks spanish and french, and we speak only English...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I have clothes!

Baggage has been recovered! Came in about 1am, and was delievered to my door. I love this hotel. It's family owned, and you see the same people in the evening and in the's just wonderful. Charming courtyard that I can enjoy from the deck attached to my room. Everyone rides their bikes here or rides the tram or bus. It's a very environmental city. I love it here. I just wish the German language was a bit easier to understand.

Oh, and Lena, I met someone from Finland. He told me about all the snow in Scandanavia. Dang, girl! :)

Tomorrow is a long day at the conference complete with a dinner party at a hotel. Then we are up very early Thursday morning to make a 7:30am flight to Lyon.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Short and sweet

Real quick, I'm here, okay and hungry for dinner. Tami and I arrived safely yesterday without luggage. Argh! We missed our flight in London (thanks British Airways) and then the new airline lost our luggage (thanks Luftansa). So this morning it was off to a department store filled with lovely european clothes. And our baggage should arrive at the hotel tonight. Yay! I'll return a few items that I bought today, namely the blue sweater and black jacket. But the rest I will keep. The shirt and pants just fit way to well. :)

More later! Must let Tami use the computer now.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

White and Nerdy

I love this new video from Weird Al. And keep an eye out for guest appearances by Donny Osmond and Seth Green.

Let's hear it for good taste

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.
Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.
When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.
But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

New York Times, baby!

Gamers: Dorkness Rising was mentioned in the New York Times!!!!

Read the full article here.

The best that money can buy

For a whopping $13.00, I bought something that will endlessly entertain humans and cats alike.

A laser pointer.

Getting ready

I take off for Europe day after tomorrow. Here's what I'll be up to:

Saturday - depart Burbank for Seattle, then Seattle to London, then London to Dusseldorf (We get to Germany on Sunday). I get 1.5 days to play in Germany before the conference starts.

M/T/W - Conference with Tami, my lovely co-worker, and my Dad.

Thursday - Depart for Lyon, France

Th/F - In France, meeting with Saint Just glass company. They make hand-blown glass, and we get to hand pick the sheets we want in our next shipment, and maybe even a few hand-blown paperweights.

Saturday - Depart for Barcelona, Spain.

Su/M - In Spain, dip our feet in the Mediteranian, meet with Frandisa glass company. They make unusual but beautfiul architectural glass, well-suited for kitchen cabinets, entry ways, shower doors, etc.

Tuesday - Depart Barcelona for London, London to LAX.

Wednesday at 7:15am - I start fitness bootcamp! :)

Monday, October 16, 2006

Poor little kitty

I had to take Quinn to the vet today. She's been having some bowel issues, and the news wasn't exactly good. She has an serious infection in some of her rear-end glands, and a skin infection in that area. So today Quinny did not hav e a good day. She even got her butt hair shaved so it would be easier for us to see what's going on. Also, she has gingivitis, and the vet reccomended I start brushing her teeth every day, and also schedule an appointment to get her teeth cleaned (which, for cats, they have to be put under because it's painful - they go under the gum line). So $100 later, I finally was able to bring her home. We have medicine to give her for the next week, and I'm to take her back to the vet on Wednesday for a check up. Right now she doesn't trust me but I think she'll be okay.

Poor little thing. It's the worst thing when your pets are sick.

Friday, October 13, 2006


Today I worked out, and felt much better. I did tae-bo, with lots of punching and kicking. I pretended to kick Billy Blanks right in the face and somehow that helped. I also got some work done, but after 2 hours of staring at spreadsheets I've given myself a little break to get my eyes looking straight again.

Matt has been wonderful, as usual. Everytime I have one of my sudden crying fests, he's right there by my side, counseling me and making me laugh. I totally didn't feel like cooking last night so he went off his diet for me and we ordered yummy, greasy chinese food. Damn, it was good and exactly what I needed. Today we're going to The Grove to see the premiere (but at matniee pricing so we can save a few bucks) of Man of the Year with Robin Williams. I need to get out of my head and laugh at a comedian.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Bad day

So far it's not going well. I'm terribly depressed and was told that my anti-depressants wouldn't kick in for another 3 weeks. And I started working out today, which means my muscles are terribly sore.

I also had to make a visit to the doctor. I have a birthmark just below my left eye, and while I was in Seattle, I noticed it grew and starting turning black. But it didn't hurt and if I pushed it down it would go flat for a little while and then puff right back up again. Needless to say, I was a little concerened so I went to the doctor to get referred to a dermatologist. Well, she said it's nothing serious but I should have it removed. So she's referred me to surgery, and they may refer me to plastic surgery. Oh joy. It's not just something they can burn off, oh no. We have to make this a long drawn out process that could take months. :P I just want this thing off my face so I'll stop feeling so self concious. The doctor said it's most likely benine but given my recent experiences I'd like to find out for sure sooner rather than later. Luckily it has stopped growing but it still sits there, on my face, under my eye, making me feel like some sort of freak show.

I just want to be happy. I dont' want to feel sad, upset, mad, angry, hurt, depressed, confused, lazy...all these negative things. I want to be happy but I just can't seem to move on. I am trying, and I have to get back to work on the price list for NWAG, but I just seem to keep putting it off. If only zoloft would kick in sooner. In the meantime, I'll just keep working out, drinking water, and enjoying this lovely 80 degree weather.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I'm back!

I'm home. After a looooooooong train ride, meeting many interesting people, watching Season 2 of Rescue Me, and having my fill of train food, I'm back. To a very happy husband and surprised but happy kitties.

Life is good. :)

(Pictures to be posted later. Right now I need to unpack.)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

This is it!

My last post from Seattle, at least for awhile. When I post again, I will be in Los Angeles! Home to my hubby, my kitties, my SoCal friends, and 80 degree weather. I will be sure to post pictures from home and from the train ride.

Today was a great day. I got to sleep in, catch up with Aunt Muriel, buy boxes from Staples (I have so much stuff it's not even funny - I was only supposed to be here a week!), etc. The biggest surprise was Emily, who I have not seen since 8th grade. We just started talking as if no time had passed. I am so happy to have re-connected with her! She was generous enough to come to the house all the way from Kenmore (North of Lake Washington) and talk to me while I frantically packed.

This evening Dad, Katie, and I headed over to Bainbridge Island for dinner to finally visit Aunt Diane and Uncle Gregg. Their house is so cool. I was mad that I forgot my camera because I really would have loved to share it with you guys and gals. Their studio is really neat, too, full of all kinds of treasures.

T minus 12 hours and some minutes! It will be a great trip, I'm looking forward to it. :)

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Happy Birthday Mom

See the title of this post and you can guess why I'm not in the best of moods today.

Do you ever have those mornings where getting out of bed seems like the most traumatic thing? I laid in bed for 45 minutes before I couldn't hold it any longer. :P

Today Katie and I will spoil ourselves by going to Habitude to get our nails done. Then it's off to the cemetary (where we will be meeting Uncle Dan and Aunt Gwen) and then Mukilteo. Mom's best friend lives out there and she and her husband are having us over for dinner.

Yesterday was very fun. Jenny, Paige and I went to Blue C Sushi at the University Village near the University of Washington. I am going to miss both of them so very much. It has been good for me to see my girlfriends here on a regular basis.

Last night Brie and Steve came over for dinner and asked if Matt and I would like to be godparents of their child. Naturally, I said yes for the both of us. I am so excited! They also asked if my Dad would be a god grand-dad, which was very sweet. We are both honored to be part of this new little life.

Tomorrow I will spend the day packing and may head over to Bainbridge Island to see Uncle Gregg and Aunt Diane, but I'm not sure yet.

Monday, I take off. Train leaves at 9:45 a.m. I bought a memory card for my digital camera so I can take lots of pictures. :)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

A cheat from Molly

life would be simpler if...
I knew where we would be living in 5 years, if Mom was still alive, and if I could commit to an exercise plan.

i feel most beautiful...
When I'm dancing, whether at a club or at one of Celena's house parties, and when I act.

the quality i like least about myself...
Well, there's 2. My gap toothed smile and the birthmark on my nose.

something that no one knows about me is...
I have a serious princess complex that I battle every day.

guiltiest pleasure?
Working from home. My commute consists of going from my bedroom to the living room, in my pj's!

high road or low road?
Sometimes I take the high road. I try to be good. Today I took the low road on the freeway and got honked at and given the bird. Lovely.

my favorite possession is...
My wedding ring. It's so pretty and shiney.

when i was little, i wanted to be...
An ocenagrapher (sp). Then I realized I stunk at science.

what surprises me most about my adult life is...
That it's much more complicated than it seemed when I was 16. And that I still have no serious career direction.

the big decision i'm currently wrestling with is...
How long will we be home for Christmas?

my motto is...
The meaning of life is to live it.


Why is it that people must comment on EVERYTHING they see on television? I mean, yes, I understand if you're upset or happy or whatever with what is showing but must it be repeated over and over? Let me enjoy the program and then we can talk about it afterwards.

Why do people have to tailgate so closely when I drive on the freeway? And how come drivers do not let us over when we are attempting to merge on to 405 and instead of being considerate, laugh as they nearly cause a 3 car pile-up? Who gave them a license? That person should be fired.

That's it. Just a few things that have happened a lot in the past week and I feel like I've had enough!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to the greatest husband EVER. You are the greatest person and my best friend. I love you!

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear Matthew

Happy birthday to you

And many more, on channel 4

And Scooby Do, on channel 2

And Frankensten, on channel 9

Monday, October 02, 2006

Chuggin' along

I leave in 1 week. I can't believe I've been here over 2 months and suddenly I'm getting ready to go. I will miss it here. I've taken some things for granted, but also appreciated my friends and family who have helped me through this awful experience. I will be spending much of my 35 hour train ride journaling, reading, and watching movies on my portable DVD player, though apparently the train has a movie theater? Read on...

The West Coast Experience
Considered to be one of the most beautiful of all train routes, the Coast Starlight connects the hottest cities on America's West Coast. En route daily between Seattle and Los Angeles, the Coast Starlight passes through Portland, Eugene, Sacramento, the San Francisco Bay Area and Santa Barbara.

The scenery along the Coast Starlight route is unparalleled: snow-covered mountains, dense forests, fertile valleys and long stretches of Pacific Ocean shoreline provide a gorgeous backdrop for your journey.

And there are many places to stop and visit along the route. Get away to Paso Robles, where you can tour one of over 48 wineries or relax in the natural hot springs. Head to San Luis Obispo to climb the enchanted hill to Hearst Castle. Leave your heart in spectacular San Francisco. Or just stop and smell the roses in Portland.

Exclusive Amenities
Roomette and Bedroom passengers enjoy access to the Pacific Parlour Car, a private lounge featuring a library and games, afternoon wine tasting, plus a movie theater below. If you're traveling with little ones, they'll love the fun and games available just for them in the Kiddie Car.

All passengers enjoy floor-to-celing windows in the Sightseer Lounge—the perfect spot for taking in the magnificient scenery.

Trails & Rails
As part of the Trails & Rails program, National Park Service guides from the
Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park are onboard the Coast Starlight between Seattle and Portland and Klamath Falls and Eugene.

Trails & Rails is an innovative partnership program between Amtrak and the National Park Service. This program provides educational opportunities to Amtrak passengers for the purpose of fostering appreciation of America's natural and cultural heritage. More information is available at the Trails & Rails Partnership web site.

For more information, please download the Coast Starlight Route Guide.

I guess I should mention that I got a roomette. Hooray for wine tasting and movies on the train! :)

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Big indulgences

The other day I had a bad day. Full of mood swings, anger, bitterness, crying, yelling, and general pissiness. I was out with Kari C., and bless her heart she was so patient with me. We were at the University Village Radio Shack and I came across portable DVD players. I still had birthday money on me and found a model that suited my needs. So I called Matt, and after a long discussion that involved not so much the DVD player, but a host of other things, we decided I could get it. And so I did. Isn't it pretty? :) I can catch up on Rescue Me on the train, along with some other movies I have been meaning to watch. It also plays CD's and has 2 headphone outlets so more than one person can watch. And, if our DVD player ever shuts down, this will be a quick replacement until we get a newer one. The best part? We can write it off.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Out of reach

I'm starting to hate my phone. I don't know why, but all of the sudden I just hate talking on it. I'd rather talk in person or through email. I can't explain why, but the phone is just really annoying these days - it just seems to be a constant interuption (and for those of you who have called, this isn't directed at anyone, it's just a phase, I promise!) And I'm starting to get anxious about my trip to L.A. 15 days! I can't believe I'll be going back that soon. As of Wednesday, I'll have been here 2 months. It feels like so much longer... :P

I am very excited for November. Matt and I will be heading up to wine country over Thanksgiving, which means we'll be spending Christmas with the fam. At least I'll get a few months to settle into life where it includes my husband, friends, and 2 kitties.

Tomorrow Kari C. and I are getting together. I'm not sure what we'll do, but whatever it is I know we will have lots to catch up on. She is grieving too over the recent loss of her father (3 weeks before mom). It is amazing just how much we have in common in this process.

And I can't believe I forgot to mention that I got to see Jenny last week. We had a terrific lunch at an Italian bistro on Proctor in Tacoma. Fabulous wine and food. Most of our sentences (as she quoted humourously on her blog) began with "my therapist said..." We cried and laughed and gossiped. We went window shopped at a high-end furniture store and oogled at the garden and kitchen boutique. It was a wonderful visit.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

This is my life, should I choose to accept it.

Well, where do I begin?

First off, unfortunately, Great Aunt Helen died this week. I was not close to her, but my dad was, so we are off to Spokane tomorrow for a few days for the rosary (whoopee) and funeral (yippee). I am not looking forward to this as I know it's just going to bring back memories and pain that I have barely dealt with from mom's funeral. But I do get to wear my cute Nordstroms suit again and spend time with Aunt Sharon at her place. I don't get out there nearly enough. This means my trip to Aberdeen has been postponed until next weekend, which then throws off my plans for the next few weeks.

Secondly, work has gotten incredibly stressful in the last 24 hours. They have decided that I am going to work on the pricelist, which happens to contain over 4,000 items (and that doesn't include the new items)'s a nasty project that is not worth stressing about at this point. I have no idea what I'm doing but thankfully my co-workers are being very patient with me...for now...this means, though, that I need to be working more which means less time for social gatherings (which I was enjoying quite a bit).

Oh, and it's pouring rain. Again. Which means the 520 floating bridge should be loads of fun on my way home this afternoon.

But Katie and I have a lunch date this afternoon which means I get to leave earlier than expected! :) We are going out for Pho in Ballard, and it's going to be deeeelish! Nothing like a big pot of soup on a cold, damp, Seattle day.

Monday, September 18, 2006

A cheat from Jenny

Subject: Little known facts about me
A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Marketing/Catalog guru
2. Administrative Assistant
3. Assistant Director at a daycare
4. Courtesy clerk at Thriftway

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Sliding Doors
2. Anne of Green Gables
3. Monsters Inc.
4. Strictly Ballroom

C) Four places I have lived:
1. Puyallup, Washington
2. Kent, Washington
3. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4. Los Angeles, California

D) Four TV shows I love to watch
1. Project Runway
3. Rescue Me
4. The 4400

E ) Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Italy
2. Great Britain
3. Cuba
4. Puerto Marques, Mexico

F) Websites I visit daily:
1. Jenny's Blog
2. Lena's Blog
3. Kari's Blog
4. Molly's Blog

G ) Four of my favorite foods
1. Homemade chicken noodle soup
2. Clam Chowder from Chinooks
3. Aunt Sharon's Huckleberry Pancakes
4. Halibut

H) Four places I would rather be right now
1. Los Angeles (right now I'm in Seattle for another 3 weeks)
2. Hawaii
3. New York City (never been there)
4. Paris

I) Four things I will do with abandon this week:
1. pick up my new glasses
2. go have lunch with my sister at Blue C Sushi
3. Visit Jeff and Tina in Aberdeen
4. do my own laundry, but no one else's :)

J) Four favorite ways to spend a day off:
1. Reading
2. Watching Golden Girls on DVD
3. Naps
4. Breathing in the fresh Pacific Northwest Air

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Good times

I started yesterday off with meeting Brie at our old college hangout, NPCC. It was weird to go back there as the last time I was there it was to see Matt and the rest of the DG Improv troupe perform. Their menu has changed, and they offer even more alchohol (which isn't a bad thing). It was just strange to be back in a place where I had spent so much of my college years. I didn't recognize anything, until Brie came walking through the door. We had a wonderful catch-up session, about 2 1/2 hours. We dished about husbands, families, ourselves, friends, and not-so-happy things. It was wonderful to reconnect with her.

Then it was off to Puyallup again, this time to see Lena and her family. She has 2 adorable kids, Mattias and Hailey, and she and her husband, Shaun, threw a joint birthday party. So there I was, amongst all of Shaun's relatives and a bundle of presents. It was wonderful to see Lena and see her be a mom. She is very good at her job, and the kids are so sweet. I can't say that we dished all that much, but that will come later. :) I did finally get to meet Raissa (sp?) after all this time!

Last, but not least, I was off to University Place to visit Cindy, and we had decided before that we were going to do something that required little or no money. Which, actually happened. Except for the wine and cheese I bought. I couldn't help myself - I found this wine and Cindy and I just burst out laughing because it was such a surprise. Wine is supposed to be classic and tasteful, but this is a bitch of a wine...and I'm not kidding. Very spicy and not meant to be taken lightly. We watched Walk The Line and enjoyed watching Joaquin Phoenix smoldering throughout the movie. I actually got to stay overnight and that's where I am now. Cindy's off to church (she's so good), and Emily and I are going off to do something...hopefully not the mall. I have no make-up and no hair product in, so I'd rather go somewhere where I don't have to look made-up. :)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

30 days

I can't believe it's been a month already. I can't believe it's been a month and how much my life has been altered. I haven't cracked yet. Only in bits and pieces. But it's coming. I can feel it. And when that time comes, well, I'll have no choice but to let it go through me. All I can say is that it happens when Matt is physically by my side. There's nothing like having those big bear arms wrapped around me when I'm having a breakdown.

I love you, honey, and I miss you terribly. I'll be home soon.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Remembering, or trying to

I am having trouble separating my days now. I can't seem to remember what I did one day or another. Major events, like the Puyallup (prounounced Pew-Al-Up) Fair, I remember, but little things like emails and phone calls are getting harder to recall. If I don't write it down, then forget it. In one ear and out the other.

Today I'm working on the catalog, back to it after over a month of procastination and a vacation of sorts. I can't even remember where I left off, so I just picked up at what seemed like a good spot. I hope it all works out. I'm at the building in Redmond at Mom's desk. Everything is the same, I can almost see her here. It's really weird and kinda creepy and I don't like it. I keep finding excuses to leave my desk.

I finally got ahold of my counselor and I go in next week. Thank goodness! I have so much to say but I don't know where to start and I always feel like I'm repeating myself. I love my counselor, she rules. I can't wait to talk to her.

I went to the eye doctor yesterday and ordered new glasses - that I do remember. I can't wait for them to arrive!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Social Engagments

Yesterday I:

Went shopping with my mom in law at the faboo outlet mall and bought a bunch of stuff that I would need eventually. :) Had a great time trying on awful bras and buying really cute ones! Also found incredibly comfy sandals at Naturalizer and great layering shirts on clearance at Banana Republic.

Met Jenny for coffee, finally, and loved every minute of catching up with her (and we still have more to talk about). She is so fun, and I can't wait to hang out with her again. We dished about husbands, chatted about families, and griped and laughed about all kinds of things. I've never had so much fun at Starbucks!

Saw Stephanie for dinner and stayed out way past my bedtime. Had dinner at the Mandolin Cafe in North Tacoma and talked straight for about 4 hours. Lovely night, lovely friend, lovely conversation.

Today I:

Woke up at 8:15am after my first full night of restfull sleep all week! :D

Met Katie at school and went shopping downtown (I bought jeans, courdoroy jacket, undies, and hair product). We had a great time and I love spending time with her. I don't know if she feels the same way...

Went boating with Dad. Got to untie and tie the boat at the dock which was quite an adventure. I need to practice more and I hope he never asks me to steer!

Went out to dinner with Katherine and Julie at the India Bistro in Ballard. My favorite Indian restaurant of all time. Drank wine, had good food, and drank mango shakes. Fun was had by all! Next visit will include a new wine bar. :D

Tommorow I:

Will go to the Puyallup Fair with Katie and we will stay the night at Bryan and Brenda's house. Dad will be taking the boat to Port Townsend. Fun will be had by all (and I get to eat an Elephant Ear! Woot!).

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Thank you... my husband, who is the greatest man in this world, for putting up with me during 1am crying fests, making me laugh, supporting my family while being there for his, for taking care of me in all ways possible; Kari C. who recently lost her father, for all the midnight talks, and movies, and all her support and kindness and friendship; Jenny, who knows the pain of losing a parent and for all her posts and calls reminding me that I will eventually adjust to life without a parent, for all her love and kindness; Paige, who perhaps wrote the most beautiful post I have ever seen, for listening to me gripe about anything and nothing, for the hugs and getting me out of the house; Lena, who sends me emails to let me know she's thinking of me and my family, to comfort and support me, who is a friend I wish I could see more than once a year; Nancy and Greg, my in laws, who support my entire family with food, overnights, and perhaps the most beautiful music I have ever heard at a funeral, for laughs and conversation, and the neverending game of scrabble; Brianna, who threw me the most wonderful party and is about to give life, for all your love and energy and support even after moving and being pregnant; my sister, who I have finally recognized as a human being, whom I love and care for, who is spunky, silly, and wants to change the world; my Dad, who I admire more than I can say, and who I worry about the most; everyone who showed up at the surprise party a few weeks ago, you will never know how much that helped me, to see you there and feel your love and support; Molly, who keeps reminding me to smile; Cindy, who has her own troubles, and yet is determined to get me out of the house this month; Dawn, the master of massage therapists, for all the massages, talks, and cry fests; Keith, for the wonderful dinners, conversations, and chocolates :) ; my Aunts - Gwen, Diane, Muriel, and Sharon - you are my new mothers and I love you all in equal ways, I am so glad to know you better; my Uncles - Gregg, Terry, Dan, and John - thank you for all you do to support your wives and my Dad;

...and to Ben and Mary, who are the best kitty sitters anyone could ever ask for.

I know I've forgotten some, but I just had to post something. To all of you, thank you for all you have done. I wouldn't make it through this without you, and neither would my family.

An Ode

A friend of mine wrote this for me in a comment on a recent blog post. It's too good not to share. She is a dear dear friend, one of my best, and a fantastic writer. See for yourself...

An Ode to My Friend

She was a blaze of glory, a gentle sun, a warm blanket around the heart, the tender lift of a sullen chin. She was the mother of my best friend. Her guide star, her sustaining reminder that she is someone’s daughter, her loving reassurance that despite everything life is good, her grounding force, and the nagging strength that would push her toward independence. Now she’s gone, and my friend, looks around at those she loves wondering why. She accepts no answers because there are none to give. She struggles under the weight of the burden of loss trying to carry it on her own, occasionally leaning against her family, husband, and friends. She is a bird who has taken flight to find her direction only to find herself called home by an early winter. The weather has been deceiving but with patience and time she will fly again. She will fly in the light of her mother who is no longer left behind. She will be warmed by the blazing sun, her mother’s beauty giving her life energy and meaning that she hasn’t previously believed could exist. She will blossom without the hugs, without the kisses, without the pet names, or delicious meals. She will fascinate at a daily life in which her mother’s absence seems impossible. And with her own tears and the tears of those who love her most, she will grow in the radiating love and glory that her mother entrusted within her. She is Camille. (…and Katie, and Kari, and Anna, and Lauren, and Mike, and Patrick, and Emily, and others.)

Thank you Paige. I love you. :)

Sunday, September 03, 2006


I think one of the coolest and yet weirdest thing about living in L.A. is that you will be watching television and all of the sudden a commercial pops up. I watch it, as I do most of them, with little or no interest. Today I just happened to turn on the t.v. and on came Dunkin Donuts commercial. It was kind of interesting and then the last actor came on. He turned to the camera and I just sat there gaping. It was Briton Green, the actor who had starred in Sneaky Pete's Harem, Matt's last cycle film at AFI last term. I couldn't believe it! Of course, I called Matt right away and he was excited too. I reacted the same way when my scene partner from acting class popped up in a commercial for Carl's Junior.

I know that acting takes a lot of work, and if you're dedicated and determined and have a thick skin, you can make it. But right now I have more important things to attend to. Like Uncle Dan's end of summer BBQ and pool party. :)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

All by myself!

Dad's in Spokane...

Katie's getting a facial...

Crap, I need to water the yard.

(I got my hair cut SHORT and it's auburn. Will post pictures soon!)

Sunday, August 27, 2006

In the last week...

I have seen Mom and her Dad, my Grandpa Wes, twice in my dreams;

I got to go sailing at Detroit Lake;

I got to see the Milky Way and many shooting stars;

I went camping on a boat;

I ate Zeeks Pizza;

I saw Katie's friend Elliott star as "Macbeth" in the Scottish Play;

I have reconnected with some family and connected for the first time with others;

I went for a walk in the neighborhood where I grew up and rediscovered many new things;

I talked to neighbors and was told that the kids I used to baby sit are now all in high school;

I got to know Brenda, my cousin's wife, who is completely wonderful and it's so nice to have a member of the family who is my age and also female;

I have spent so much time with my wonderful sister, who is wacky and goofy just like me, and is passionate about all things political and environemental;

I went to a friends house for dinner, but it was a surprise party - I had the most wonderful time and it was exactly what I needed in order to boost my spirits;

I have started to realize what it takes to run a household and yet still maintain a sense of independence and teamwork - it's a very tricky balance;

I have learned a lot about my family;

I have discovered that I think I'm going to be okay.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


I have that little song going through my head where the chorus starts with the word "vacation". I don't know that rest of the words, but it's been a nice thought these last few days.

The fam and I are in Puyallup. We've stayed with my in-laws these past few days and tonight we're off to my Uncle's place also in Puyallup. He has a pool. I will make use of it. :) Then we'll go back to Seattle tomorrow and Thursday Matt leaves to go back to California. :( Which means Katie, Dad, and I go to Oregon to spend a few days on Uncle John and Aunt Muriels boat on Detroit Lake. I can't wait to spend some time outdoors. I may even get a chance to listen to my ipod.

I'm doing alright, but I'm more concerned about my dad. I know we'll all pull through this, some how, some day. But I find myself getting really mad and moody these days, just at the drop of a hat. I've also been really super lazy, which means I need to kick start the bikram yoga next week (thankfully there's a place close to my folks, er, my Dad's, over in Fremont). I have thought more than once "I wish my life would just go back to normal." But I have to adjust to this "new" normal.

Saturday, August 19, 2006


Her voice
Her smile
Her wisdom
Her kindness
Her grace
Her cooking
Her warmth
Her hugs
Her kisses
Her petnames for me
Her unique sense of style

I have the best family and friends in the world. Everyone has been so supportive, kind, and understanding. Thank you for everything. I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Sometimes, a little retail therapy at Nordstroms is a very good thing.

I think Mom would approve. :)

Monday, August 14, 2006

You say goodbye, I say hello...

Mom (aka Karin)

Born October 7, 1948 - Portland, Oregon
Died August 14, 2006 - at home in Seattle, Washington

Beloved wife, mother, friend, and artist. Survived by her husband, Richard, and 2 daughters, Camille and Katie. Services to be held this weekend.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

The game of Life

My career: Artist
My salary: 90,000
College: yes
Kids: no
House: Dutch Colonial
Win: yes

Fake life is fun to play!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Getting there...

There's this phrase that keeps circling the house: "Any day now, she could go." Yes, that's true. Last night Dad asked Katie and I if we wanted to be woken up should Mom pass during the night. We both said "No thanks." He also said that it could take the coroner 24 hours to show up to the hosue to take her away and would we want to say good bye before she left the house? "No thanks. Don't want memory of Mom not alive in the house." Dad said he wanted us to have the choice, which I appreciated, but I think Katie and I will stay downstairs at that point, until she leaves. I want to keep my memories of my mother alive. I think she'd understand. Dad seemed to.

For those of you who wanted to come visit and I've canceled, for those of you who have emailed and I've not responded, please bear with me. I have reached the point where I'm talked out. I feel like there's nothing new for me to say. I mean, I know what's going on in my life, and so do you. Tell me what's going on in your life. Remind me that there is a life after all this is over, that I'll get out of this house, be able to talk above a whisper, and my first thought in the morning will not be "I wonder if she made it through the night."

Friday, August 11, 2006

Happy Birthday!

To me! Okay, so selfishly I really wanted Mom to stick out the day, and she did. She the oxygen plug in her nose, which means she's not working so hard to breathe. She almost passed today. It was so frightening and I was so mad. Not at her, just at the circumstances. There was about 10 minutes where we all just watched her breathe, wondering if that last breath was truly her last. Then she shook, and "re-booted" herself. She's still hanging on. We just take it one day at a time, and I am still hoping that she'll make it for my parents 35th wedding anniversary on the 14th, which is Monday.

I didn't expect presents today. Dad came in and said that he was sorry that he didn't have time to shop, but what did I want? I told him I wanted an I-Pod, so my cousin took me to the Apple store today, and I got one. It is SO COOL! Other gifts included a fabulous homemade chocolate cake from Keith, a photo album that Katie made for me that's all pictures of me and Mom, a book by St. Francis of Assisi from Kari, Wonderwoman T from Brie and Steve, glass from Aunt Diane, some FABOO lotion from Aunt Gwen, and a new kitty tile and pj's from Aunt Sharon, oh, and Season 4 of the Golden Girls on DVD from Matt :) . Perhaps the greatest gift of all is from Aunt Muriel, who has taken my place beside my mom, caring for her and helping with meds and bodily functions - stuff that I just can't bring myself to do - she is wonderful. We had a lovely celebration outside, with that chocolate cake and 28 candles (that I blew out in one breath) and champagne. Despite the circumstances, it was a wonderful birthday.

Matt went to GenCon, was there for one day, and flew home today. He will miss all the premieres. He says its just a movie and that there will be more. But good news - there's discussion of possible distribution AND the first premiere, which was tonight, was a huge hit. Congrats, honey! I am so proud of you!

Monday, August 07, 2006


Setup: Dad (Richard) is in the kitchen, and Aunt Muriel and Aunt Sharon are with Mom in the living room. Dad has just finished giving Mom some juice...

Muriel: Richard, Karin says she wants some milk.

Dad: What?

Muriel: She wants some milk.

Dad: She doesn't drink milk. She never has.

Muriel: I know, but she wants some.

Dad: (ponders) Okay.

He gets it ready and gives her a sip. Half way through the next one she closes her mouth tight - no more.

Mom mumbles.

Dad puts his ear next to her mouth and says "What's that, honey?"

Mom: I wanted chocolate milk.

Sunday, August 06, 2006


Me: Mom, I love you.

Mom: I love you too honey.

(5 minutes later)

Me: Mom, I love you.

Mom: I know.

(a few minutes later)

Me: I love you, Mom.

Mom: I know sweetheart, you've told me already.

(a few minutes later)

Me: I love you, Mom.

Mom: I know.

Me: Do you love me too?

Mom: (thinks for a minute and wrinkles her nose.) Nah.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Hi Mom

I thought that since so many people have commented about what's going on these days, you all should see what she looked like before she got sick. These shirts were made last summer by my Mom's brother, Uncle Dan. He sold them to friends and family and gave the funds to breast cancer research. Everyone is wearing one these days. I keep hoping for a miracle. And trying to keep the mountain of laundry to a reasonable level.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Little Peanut

When my little sister was born Mom started calling her "My little peanut". And it was true. Katie was so cute, all bundled up in blankets and her face kinda squished when she'd cry. It was adorable. Our little peanut flew in last night a week early from Costa Rica and we were up until about 3am crying and laughing with our cousing Zac who was sleeping on the floor. We had a great time sharing stories and sentiments and joking late at night in the dark. I think it's what Mom would have wanted us to do. She always let us feel how we were feeling, but not without letting us know that we were loved and cared for. She's still the greatest Mom. Ever. Heck, I'm partial. :)

What breaks my heart, truly, is that my baby sister is only 16, and there is still so much that she needs to learn from her mother. Mom will never see Katie graduate from high school in a few years. She'll miss college graduation, wedding, and babies. I know, I know, she'll be there, but she won't be there. I told Katie what I thought, comforted her until the wee hours of the morning, and she feels a little better, but not by much. This is the worst thing that could happen, and my heart aches for her and for the both of us. I told her it's okay if she gets mad at me because I got to spend more time with Mom, but I think it will be imperative that I be present for all those major events.

Mom grabbed my hand a few nights ago and looked me in the eye and said, "Don't worry honey, everything will be okay." I thought, 'Sure, Mom, that's easy for you to say. We have to live without you.' And what makes me cry these days is that she's always called me sweetheart in that sweet voice of hers. She still does in her lucid moments. And when she goes, I won't hear that ever again. I have thought about getting a tape recorder just so I can hear it every once in awhile.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Isn't It Ironic?

I have a very dear friend, Kari C., who lost her father suddenly 2 weeks ago. She and I met through our dads 21 years ago at t-ball practice. They started talking which meant we started talking. She and I have never gone to the same schools, never really had the same group of friends, but always celebrated each other's birthdays and went to Italy together 6 years ago after we graduated from college.

Now, we are losing a parent. At the same time. I have 2 other dear friends, Jenny and Pat, who have lost a mother or a father in the last few years. I think it is never easy to lose a parent, you're never prepared, but at this age we still so desperately need them for guidance and reassurance and in some cases, approval.

I regret that my mom will never see her grandchildren and miss my calls to her when I don't know what to do and need her advice. I regret that she won't see my sister graduate from high school in a few years, and watch her go to college and get married. I am so mad, so confused, I don't understand why it has to be her. Why does she have to go? Why is it her time? Why does she have to be taken away? I drive myself mad with these questions and I haven't found any answers.

Monday, July 31, 2006


I don't want to sound selfish but I just have certain things I can't do, like the bathroom and giving her a bath. It's my mom, for petes sake and I just can't bear it. Today I had to give her a spit bath, with my cousin Lisa (who has worked hospice care before, THANK GOD, she knew what she was doing) and broke down afterwards. Thank goodness Matt called at that moment. He'll be here Friday and Steph will be here tomorrow.

For all of you who have emailed, called, commented, etc. Thank you. It is encouraging and helpful and comoforting to read what you have to say.

And Molly, I do smile. As much as possible.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Growing Up

I think the worst part of growing up is watching your parents get older. Especially when one is sicker than the other, and spending your days supporting the healthy parent in all endavors, from making the ill one more comfortable to being social director and coordinating visits and phone calls.

It's time you know that my Mom is terminal. She is under hospice care here at home. The hospice nurse visited yesterday and based on mom's decline in the past week she says there are maybe weeks left, but not months. We were hoping that she'd make it to her next birthday in October, but now we're just hoping for Labor Day. She's beaten the odds before, and we have hope that she can do it again, but she's on morphine and pain patches, which is certainly not a hopeful sign. Even through the tears and anger, I still have faith that she's going to get better.

I think the creepiest thing I saw this morning was the amount of crows outside our house. There were 4 sitting on the telephone wire just hanging out outside my mom's room (it's the living room). Dad says they are Native American spirits, and that crows were an ominious sign that death is near. He also saw an owl outside yesterday in the back yard, and that is incredibly rare.

I go back and for between sobbing and feeling out of control to being in survival and business mode, so bear with me. :)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Alanis Phenomenon

I was on my way home from class tonight when I turned on the radio and Miss Alanis' voice filled my speakers. It's an interesting story how I found out about her when I was an angsty (is that even a word?) teen. My Uncle Gregg gave me her CD for Christmas and asked if I had ever heard of her. I said "NO" in my one-word teen like way and he acted as though I had just slapped him across the face. He said she was the hottest artist and I simply had to listen to her. So I did. Over and over again. My favorite being "You Learn."

I still have the CD but I don't listen to it any more. The phenomenon, I believe, is that I can go months, even years, without hearing those songs on that CD, and I still know every single word.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

New couch!

So a new couch is a perfect reason to redecorate, yes? :D I'm so so excited about the "new" living room. We now have seating for 7 (witht the desk chair and the director's chair in the corners). Plus our new couch is a fold out sofa that is really really comfy (Matt and I slept on in it last night). Thank you Greg and Nancy! It's a perfect housewarming present!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Naked Barbie Dolls?

I always wondered when that might happen. And apparently someone is really REALLY wanting this. And soon.

What a life

The Life Cycle is Backwards

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You enjoy life, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and then you finish off as an orgasm.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

No more!

Please. No more bath products. I don't have room!
(This is all the stuff I haven't used. Let's not get into the stuff that I use all the time.)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Hot Kitties

My poor babies. Especially Quinn. She lays down belly up in front of the fan quite often. Can't say that I blame her with temperatues being as high as they are. 108 in the valley over the weekend! I now understand why people live near the water and/or have pools and own convertibles. Get cooled down and get cool air any way that you can.

I also put ice cubes in their water dish today. I've never done that before and obviously it was quite entertaining. For them and for me.

Monday, July 17, 2006


Friday I was invited to go out dancing but I declined saying that I had a date with my husband on Saturday. Since I never get to see him, I'd rather be awake and not hungover! Plus, clubs get so crowded on the weekends, and I just wasn't in the mood.

Saturday, my surprise date, was wonderful. Matt took me to Huntington Gardens which was absolutely stunning. If you love to garden, if you love nature, this is the place for you. They have a dessert garden, herb garden, shakespeare garden, japanese garden, lily ponds, subtropical garden, statue garden, rose garden, and so much more that we didn't even get to see! They even have a tea house which I definitely want to check out next time. Our trip was cut off short by an unfortunate call from a dear dear close friend of mine who's father passed away suddenly on Friday. I decided to head home and make some calls. I'll be heading up to Seattle around the 27th.

Sunday was spent with Liz, my fun friend that I met through temping. We had a great catch-up lunch at Fred 62. I had a great omlette with chicken sausage, goat cheese, sundried tomatoes and avacado with hashbrowns on the side. Then we went over to the Off Broadway Shoe Company where I found new white sandals (casual) and little brown heels with a short heel to match my crazy but fun and sexy brown/white dress that Nancy helped me find at Macys. I'm so excited to wear it, now I just need an occasion! :) Ooooooooo, red carpet at GenCon...

Speaking of GenCon, Matt and will be heading to Indiana August 9. I'll spend my birthday working a conference and then heading the the premiere of Gamers 2. When I get back, I'm heading striaght to Knott's Berry Farm because they have kick-ass roller coasters. Who wants to go with me? :)

Friday, July 14, 2006

I'm going to be kidnapped

Matt is "kidnapping" me tomorrow, taking me somewhere and I don't know where we're going. I have a few ideas, namely Huntington Gardens but whenever I guess I usually get it right and that really ticks him off. So I'm really trying to keep my mouth shut and let him enjoy planning our day (because I seriously can't remember the last time he did this)! Pictures and details will be posted after our lovely day together.

Matt's parents will be here in about a week and will be staying with us. They have graciuosly offered to buy us a hide-a-bed which is very exciting for me. I have been wanting to get rid of our loveseat for some time now and this is the perfect excuse. While they're here we'll go to Santa Monica, Huntington Gardens, Pasadena, and a few of our favorite restaurants, maybe even a hike at Griffith Park. I can't wait for them to get here. It's always wonderful to see family and they have never seen our place.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

On the go

You are Sneakers!

You're an active girl, who's all about function
You dress for the occasion - comfort comes first
Your perfect guy? Someone who can keep up with you.
You'll find him - but you might have to slow down to see him!



Unexpectedly charming! How many times have we all wanted to fast forward, pause, rewind, and mute sections in our lives. This is not your typical Adam Sandler movie, which is why I liked it so much.

Devil Wears Prada.

It's all about Meryl Streep. Hands down, she is the center of this movie. If you've not read the book, read it first. I loved it up until the end, but that's because they "disneyfied" the ending. Stanley Tucci is also utterly charming.

Pirates of the Carribean - Dead Man's Chest.

Disappointing. The supporting elements like costumes, make-up, special effects were amazing. Johnny Depp and Bill Neighy were incredible, but Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom's characters plots had nothing to do with the main story. And that's all I'll say because I know most of you haven't seen it yet.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy "Blowing Stuff Up" Day!

Party time! L-R: Mary, Ben, Sam, Matt, Rian on our rooftop

We are classy folks.
(P.S. That wine was AMAZING. Highly reccomended!)

My favorite wine glass and my favorite card game.

Friday, June 30, 2006

If only I had a bigger kitchen

You Are a Learning Cook

You've got the makings of an excellent cook, and the desire to be one.
But right now, you're just lacking the experience. You couldn't be a top chef yet, but you could be an apprentice.

It's gone!

Mom had an MRI this week and I called Dad yesterday to find out the news. It's gone! Gone gone gone! No trace of the tumor. Now it's all about getting her back on her feet. I'm so so excited! :)
Thank you for keeping her in your thoughts and prayers. They are working!

In other news, Matt is enjoying his second internship with a very awesome script doctor. It's hotter than hell here. I am using the a/c nearly everyday now. It's nearly 90 or just above, and it's only June!

Matt's parents are coming to visit next month which will be fun. They haven't seen our place yet. Oh, and I went towel shopping with Mary the other day. I never thought I'd buy lime green towels but they look great with aqua walls.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Famous last words

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Time flies

There's not much to report! I've been working from home for my Dad which has been great. Did I mention how much I love to go to work in my PJ's? :)

Matt got another internship out in Santa Monica with John Rogers, a well known script doctor. Basically, people go to him to fix scripts and he does it well. This could lead Matt to better jobs after graduation. He also found out yesterday that several people who work as assistants at the production company (his other internship) started off as interns. This is very good news. More job prospects. Woohoo!

Matt's parents called and they will be visiting us for a few days in mid-July. We're looking forward to having them over. They haven't seen our place yet. They will be driving down in their wonderfully quiet Ford Escape. I love that car. So peaceful.

Today I have lunch with Mary. Tomorrow I pick up Rian and Sam at the airport. Thursday I see the chiropractor and then have dinner with the girls. Oh, and Saturday Gina and I watch Eddie Izzard on her wide screen TV. :)

Did I mention that I saw Eddie Izzard at Groundlings? He was wonderful!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Where Matt belongs...

American Cities That Best Fit You::
60% San Francisco
55% Los Angeles
55% New York City
50% Chicago
50% Philadelphia

I belong somewhere...

American Cities That Best Fit You::
60% San Francisco
55% Honolulu
55% Los Angeles
55% Portland
50% Denver

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Random pictures

After our wine trip in January, we bought so much we had to go to Cost Plus and buy a new wine rack. :) So, here it is after our trip last month to Santa Barbara wine country, and a few random buys from the grocery store and Trader Joe's. We are SUCH wine-os!

PJ atop the new FREE kitty tree. :)

New FREE kitty tree!

New walls

Living Room

Dining Room



I have the best husband. Ever. :)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Painter Schmainter

I have THE BEST husband in the world! :) While I was gone he painted. Walls. With Rian. It is beautiful! The bedroom is now a bright spring green color. The bathroom is aqua, and there are 2 accent walls in the living room/dining room, like a peachy honey color. I have to redecorate. So depressing. :) I can't wait. Shops to go to: Pier 1, Bed Bath and Beyond, Target, and Ikea.

And this week I'll also be applying for a part time job at Barnes and Noble. Wish me luck!

Monday, June 19, 2006

On our way home.

L.A. is home now, but I still feel that I'm needed here in Seattle. I think all those days of wasting time sitting at home, having "nothing" to do, have just been a bit too excessive so I need to get my tooshie in gear. If I'm going to be home more, I should be cleaning, exercising, keeping the place looking good, and reading on the rooftop with a nice glass of lemonade. I should walk to the park more, walk around my neighborhood and explore more. I hope this new found adulthood will stick around. I kind of like it.

Saturday, June 17, 2006


One of my favorite actors is Robert Downey Jr. It's just so sad he spent all that time messed up on drugs and whatever else. Have you seen the movie "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"? Saw it last night. If you love Mr. Downey Jr, you will LOVE this movie. It's a must see.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Last days

I leave Monday for L.A. I'm anxious to get back. I miss Matt and I miss my kitties and my friends. But I have gotten to see a few friends up here which has been nice. I got to see Ed yesterday. We went to the Redmond Town Center and had a delicious Thai lunch. We talked about everything under the sun including psychology, the Dead Gentlemen, and career goals. It was fun.

This weekend I'm not sure what's happnening. As I've said before it's hard to make secure plans because Mom's health is in flux. She's really tired, and today, out of the blue, she's feeling nauseated. I have really learned to take each day as it comes while I've been here, and to do what needs to be done. I have implemented my "grown up" personality here in Seattle, and I need to take my "grown up lifestyle" back to L.A. I think I can do it. :)

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Where everybody knows your name

My parents have a Basenji. It's an african dog that doesn't bark. His name is Johnny and this isn't a picture of him, but it's pretty close. I took him for a walk this morning, like I always do, and at least 2 neighbors approached me asking where my Dad was because they hadn't seen him. They obviously recognize the dog, but had no clue who I was! I thought it was pretty amazing that they all asked about how he was doing and was my Mom okay.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

I belong here...

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern.
A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.
A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.
No wonder you and London will get along so well.

Friday, June 09, 2006


I don't want to say too much because I know my dad reads this occasionally (hi Dad!) and I don't want him to think that I'm not enjoying myself here. It's just so much to take in all at once while seeming to maintain control of my emotions. Holding myself together during deep emotional struggles is not my strong suit but somehow I've only shed a few tears. Most days I've just been so tired from working and then helping out around the house that I don't have time to think about everything that's happening. But somehow, today, I just feel drained and sad. Ready to burst into tears. But I don't want to because I don't want them to see me sad and confused and frustrated and upset and angry. They don't need negative things. So what do I do?

I miss Matt. I wish he was here.

On a bright side, Nancy (mom in law) and I went to Macy's while Mom was at her appointment and I got several new clothes including 2 really super cute dresses. I am trying really hard to get out of the college "Oh crap I'm late for class" look.

Even better news is that Mom's tumor marker has gone down from 280 to 70 in just one month! So I guess not everything is terrible. But I haven't really dealt yet with the shock over mom's appearance, and how different things are around here. I guess right now it's just washing all over me and I wish it wasn't. I don't want to deal with it yet. I'm just not ready. I need to stay strong for them and then break apart when I get home.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


Guess who Matt met yesterday?

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

15 is the magic number

It's a great feeling to walk into the place where you used to work and people immediately say "Oh my gosh, you look great! Did you lose weight? And you look so tan!" Okay, well, I'm tan compared to the Pacific Northwesterners, but it's a great feeling to say "Yup, I lost 15 pounds!" I don't mean to sound totally egotistical, but it was kind of nice being gushed over in that way.

And 15 is the magic number because I only have 15 more to go!

Monday, June 05, 2006


Well, if you don't know who Apolo Ohno is, you should. He's great! And it doesn't hurt that he's quite good looking...HOT is more like it! :)

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Seattle Time

Landed last night at 6 and walked in to baggage claim to find a very happy Dad waiting for me! We hugged and caught up on Mom and Katie (who recently pierced her eyebrow, but that's another story). Then I saw Denise, a woman I had met at the Burbank airport, and we exchanged phone nubmers because it turned out we live less than a mile from each other! Super sweet, super nice woman. I'm excited to hang out with her.

Went home and saw a very spunky, but very different mom. For those of you who don't know, she has a walker now, and the radiation made her hair fall out. She's off the steroids now, which means she's much weaker. And did you know that you can have chemo now in pill form? I had no idea. Well, she took it for a week too long so the side effect is that her face is kind of puffy, like a chipmunk. But she looks beautiful and is doing the best she can. I worry about my dad being the constant caregiver, but that's why I'm here, to help give him a little break. It means so much to my family that I'm here for so long and I am happy to help.

What's really special is that my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Terry from Nine Mile Falls (a little town outside of Spokane) are here! Today we headed over to Bainbridge Island for my cousin Zac's graduation party. That also meant I got to see Uncle Gregg and Aunt Diane and their fabulous house and studio. I used to go there a lot as a kid so it brought back so many memories. Zac's brother, my other cousin Gus, was also there and we got to catch up. The weather held out beautifully - sunny and warm (well, warm for Seattle) - everyone was in a good mood - and Mom got a nice nap. I was just so grateful to see everyone. It just wasn't long enough. I don't know what's happening to me as I get older, but family seems to be more and more important to me. And I always want to see more of those I rarely see...but distance makes the heart grow fonder!

We're home now, and Mom is asleep on the couch. Katie is on the computer upstaris, Dad's talkin on the phone to some guy from Finland, and Sharon and Terry are somewhere around here. Tomorrow Sharon and Terry leave to go back home. :( I may take out my mom's beautiful custom made bike for a ride to the locks and then Steph might stop by to say hi after her acting class. Monday I work from home, Tuesday I go into work and have a dental appointment (I just can't find one in L.A. that I like). Probably Tuesday and Wednesday I'm going to cook dinner for the fam. :) And at some point I'll head over to Northgate to visit friends who recently had twins!

I'll stay busy, but I'm really missing Matt, the cats, and the control over my life in L.A. Somehow things get planned for me here, and I just have to learn to let go. I'm not here for me, I am here for them. And that's a good feeling. :)