Monday, December 04, 2006

Dream dream dream

I had the best and worst dream last night. I am filled with regret and home, sadness and happiness, and yet I'm so ready to burst into tears right here and now. Matt says it's a wish fulfillment dream, showing me what I really want.

I dreamed that Mom was alive and well, that she had woken up during some sort of service, but no one cared to call me. I found out when I flew home for Christmas. I even said to someone, "Am I dreaming?" and Mom said "No, why?" to which Katie responded "I'll tell you later." I even said that someone should pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming, and they did and it hurt, but I didn't wake up.

I'm now filled with this sense of false hope and incredible sadness that when I go home she'll be there. And she won't. And now that the tears are falling, I need to go get some kleenex.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

It's really normal, I promise. I had tons (and still do occasionally) of dreams about my dad. In my dreams, he'e be hanging out with us but I knew he was dead. Sometimes I'd tell him, and sometimes he'd already know, like God gave him a little breather to see the fam :) And while I liked seeing my dad, the dreams are kind of hard, like a big reminder. I almost think that's it's a way for his spirit to visit. Hang in there.