Monday, February 27, 2012

Baby Wesley Update

I'm not posting this on Facebook, or sending out throngs of emails.

Today, I went in for an ultrasound.  Wesley is measuring a little small in his head and tummy, which could be associated with my high blood pressure.  Nothing like freaking out a first time mommy Monday afternoon. :P

Midwife is cautious but optimistic.  The placenta is very healthy, top grade (so says the midwife).  Lots of fluid (hello 40 pound weight gain).  Heartbeat is strong.  Limbs are long, and he has a full head of hair to boot.  Chat with Jenny made me feel much better. 

Refusing to panic.  Enjoying time off my feet and time to myself to relax.

Timing sucks.  Matt starts filming JQ2 soon.  Not sure how I'm going to do on my own. 

I think Netflix instant que will be my new close friend over the next several days.

At least I can work from home.  Working for Grandpa does have its benefits.  :)

Monday, February 20, 2012

Middle Of The Night Madness

I sleep with earplugs because I'm a sensitive sleeper.  This means I can't hear myself snoring, and it's apparently pretty bad.  I don't know what to do.  Google, which is not my friend, says that it's most likely due to increased fluids in the body which includes my nasal passages.  I'm going to see if I can find those nasal strips at the drug store so that Hubby and I can both sleep.  I do sleep on my side.  I can try sleeping with my head elevated.  It supposedly gets worse into the third trimester.  Of course, increased snoring can be a warning sign for preeclampsia (which I've been tested for and was negative) or pregnancy apnea.  I'm supposed to ask Hubby if I'm sputter or cough at all while snoring, which I'm pretty sure I don't, because I'd wake myself up! I realize that one of us can sleep in another space, and it might just come down to that. 

I am 33 weeks pregnant, almost 34 (on Thursday) and I have truly begun the "done being pregnant/ready to meet my kid" phase.  I know he still has some cooking to do, but the swelling hands, feet, and ankles is really starting to annoy me.  Big time.  I have pregnancy induced carpel tunnel in my right hand all of the time.  There seems to be very little relief from it, aside from accpuncture.  This makes it difficult to write thank-you notes, to eat, use a can opener, open packages, etc.  There's numbness and tingling. 

I feel SO FAT.  All the weight gain is in my upper body, which I know is good, and I apparently still am not waddling.  I guess from behind you can't even tell I'm pregnant.  But these last several days I've felt like a whale and just wanted to stay in bed all day.  The emotions are out of control, I feel like crying most of the time.  I guess I'm just not in a good place tonight.  My last day at work is March 1, and from then on I'll be working at home full time up until baby boy arrives.  I plan on upping the workouts - swimming 2 times a week and yoga 2 times a week.  Right now the exercise has dwindled to yoga once a week, and an occasional walk.  Not good enough.  But I am drinking more water and aside from this weekend, watching my sodium intake, and that's helping me feel a little better. 

I should go back to bed soon.  I'm just trying to give Hubby a chance to sleep before I start snoring again. 

I'm also freaked out a little about labor and delivery.  I know, I know, women have been doing this for centuries, without drugs, and I can do it too.  But I haven't done this before.  My mom isn't here to tell me about her experience, what her warning signs were.  I am reading Ina May's Guild to Childbirth, which is helpful, but I'd get more relief if I just knew how my little sister and I arrived in this world.  There's only so much my relatives know.  I want to know what it FELT like, was she scared, excited, how did she cope with the pain, etc.  So many questions that will go unanswered. 

Last night I had my first panic attack about parenthood.  Full on tears, red in the face, hyperventilating, wondering "howamigoingtodothis" and "whatamigettingmyselfinto" fits of emotion.  I know everything will be fine, I know I'll figure it out just like all other first time Moms.  But at that moment, and moments in between, I panic.  And I write blog posts at 3am.  

I suppose you could say that missing Mom is at the root of all these "emotionally charged states" as Hubby likes to call them (it sounds better than my term, which is "complete meltdowns").  And yes, he's mostly right.  And that's all that I have to say about that topic. 

The friends baby shower, hosted by one of my best friends, Brie, was over the weekend and it was so lovely.  So many people turned up, and I was overwhelmed by the love and joy for this new life coming into the world.  What an amazing group of friends!

On that note, it's time for me to try and get some more shut-eye while I still can. 

Friday, February 10, 2012

Eight. Months.

It's official.  Just two months or so, and our baby will be here.  Where has the time gone?  I can't keep track of anything these days.  If it didn't happen yesterday or today, I won't remember.  My Google calendar is full of reminders to call friends and family, appointments, and things to do around the house.  Somehow, I'm also squeezing in a decent amount of work.  I'm really feeling the pressure to accomplish so many things at work because I know, in as little as FIVE WEEKS, I'll have a newborn to take care of and everything else will just have to wait.  

I've decided to stop panicking about money.  We have gotten (and been blessed to receive) so many used items from friends that aside from the crib and lounge chair.  I'm not concerned about the crib because he'll be sleeping in the bassinet for the first 2 or 3 months anyway.   Matt will get back paid, he's getting a raise with the new job, and since the best thing for me to do is remain calm and relaxed, then that is what I am going to do. 

Work threw me a lovely baby shower yesterday.  It was so sweet.  They are all so excited, because the youngest "kid" is now 17.  I was so touched by their generosity and excitement.  I love working with these people.  They are more like family, which is how it should be when you are working for the family business.

The baby showers will happen soon.  The first one is next weekend, and it's the friends shower, at our house.  Matt got pictures up on the walls last weekend, and they look really good.  We have one wall in the hallway dedicated to family photos, and we are so excited to add pictures of the baby!  So many friends are coming from out of town, and I can't tell you how much this means to me.   I am truly honored to be surrounded by such amazing people.

The 25th is the family shower in Seattle which I am also excited about.  Family members from my side and Matt's side will be there, as well as a few close family friends.  I am really excited to see everyone.  I love my family through and through, and I am blessed to have them in my life.

Eight months.  Five to 10 weeks to go.  I can't believe it.  But you'd better believe that in addition to all this other stuff, Matt and I are squeezing in as many date nights/lunches as we can.  Time is limited, at least for a little while!

Oh, and I should also mention that baby boy is big enough that now, if he kicks hard enough or moves around enough, I can see the movement along with feeling it.  Which means during my meeting yesterday at work, Grandpa was entertained by his grandson's movements.  It was really cute.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Not Panicking About Money

Really, it's true.  Sort of.

I cannot believe how much money we are spending these days.  Some of it is on eating out because I'm too tired to cook.  Some of it isn't on baby stuff, it's more like "Oh, we need curtains for downstairs" and "Oh, we need an electric drill" and "Oh, we need a shredder so we can get rid of those bills from 2004".  It's nesting.  Getting things accomplished around the house so we don't have to worry/fret about them as time gets closer and after our little boy arrives.  Seriously, we've hardly spent any money on baby stuff, except for the paint for his room and a few cute baby outfits.  Hubby is changing jobs and will get back-paid, and while I'm hesitant to withdraw money out of savings, I keep reminding myself that it will be replenished by the end of the month. 

There are bigger problems in this world, and I keep reminding myself that even if we do have to withdraw from savings, that we are in such a better place than we were even six months ago, financially and relationship wise. 

Now if my feet and ankles would stop swelling, I think I'd be just about perfect. 

Thursday, February 02, 2012

31 Weeks down, 9 weeks to go!

How is this possible?  I mean, really.  9 weeks left to get for little man's arrival, that's just crazy!  Thankfully hubby painted the nursery this week, and it's a really lovely shade of blue. 

I am feeling pretty good, just tired.  Annoyed that I've got swollen feet, ankels, and hands, but I'll take that over heartburn.  Little boy loves to climb as high as he can and wedge up against my stomach and liver, which makes bending over a huge task.  Hubby has the joyous task now of tying my shoes every morning.  And rubbing my feet every night.  My feet look like little sausages by the end of the day.  It's a sad and somewhat amusing sight.  It would probably be a little more funny if they didn't hurt so much.

But all in all, I can't complain.  I'm having a healthy pregnancy, no complications, work is busy, and the house is looking pretty good.  Hubby is happy and fulfilled, and busy as can be.  So many friends and family are having major traumas in their lives.  Hubby and I are so grateful that we are in a good place for the time being.  I know it won't last, another bump in the road is on it's way, but for now, I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.