Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Loss and Gain

This year has been an interesting one.  I've had many friends move away, and they're not done yet.  It's difficult for me to see my friends go as they're my family down here.  We all rely on each other, see and support one another through ups and downs.  Every time one leaves, I feel as though I've been "dumped".  I know that sounds harsh, but when then latest friends told me they were leaving, I just burst into tears.  I can't help it.  Even when I was little, I was incredibly attached to my friends, never wanting them to leave, always feeling like there was just never enough time...to do or say what, I'm not sure, but I still feel that way now.  That there's just not enough time with the people I care for.  

I got my hubby back though, after him being away for 9 days location scouting in WA.  It's prompted a huge and long drawn-out talk about the future and what we want to do.  However, as my MIL says:  "If you want to make God laugh, make a plan."  So we're keeping our options slightly open because life is definitely full of surprises.  But in the meantime, I'm working hard to stay on track.  I have goals and I plan to see them through.  When they'll happen, well, I can't plan everything.  Sometimes I just have to be flexible and patient.  

I also became a fan of the bootcamp I attended all last week!  I am so proud of myself.  It was my free week and since I enjoyed it so much and did so well, they're offering me a payment plan so I can afford to go back for the six week special.  I plan on going every day or as much as possible so I can really get in shape and feel better about myself, feel more confident.  I'm lucky to have a spouse who thinks I'm beautiful and tells me so every day.  I just wish I could feel that way about myself that often.  But back to bootcamp, it's run by these 2 amazing women who really work with you to see your fitness goals through while working with your individual limitations.  I'm excited to see what differences I'll have in 6 weeks! 

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


This was my third morning at bootcamp. 

I can't believe I've gone 3 days in a row.  If you know me well, you know that I take after Grandma Betty and am a night-owl at heart.  So getting up at 6am isn't really my favorite thing.  Especially when my lower body hurts so much (getting up, sitting down, walking, stairs are currently evil).  Hopefully tomorrow's visit to the chiropractor and my schedule massage will help my aching, screaming muscles.

The upside is my stress level has continued to go down and so has my appetite.  Well, my appetite is as hearty as it ever was, but I certainly can't eat as much as I used to.  I really like the trainers, they have lots of stretching exercises before and after the workouts as opposed to the other bootcamp I attended earlier this year.  You know, the one that said it was my fault that I got injured?  Yeah, right.  Anyway, I think this could be a good fit, and I'm hoping to squeeze some $$ out of the budget so I can sign up for the 6 week special sometime next week.  I plan on going the rest of the week since it's free, and then give my body a few days to recover before torturing my muscles again.  

We all know that I get bored quickly.  We'll see how long this lasts!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Strangest Thing

Matt's been out of town on location scouts for his upcoming webseries that just got funded - JourneyQuest.  He'll be back next Monday, and whenever he's gone, I tend to get so much more done around the apartment.  This weekend I cleaned the kitchen, changed the sheets and made the bed, cleaned the shower, swept up the main rooms (thank goodness for hardwood floors), cleaned out my spice cabinet, did several loads of dishes, and managed to cook a healthy dinner last night (I love my slow cooker).  Why is it that when Matt is home I'm so lazy?

Today is my first day at a new fitness bootcamp.  I have a one week guest pass, and then if I like it, they have a new member special which happens to be a great deal.  But first, I need to test out the program and the instructors.  Luckily it's very close to where I live, and I'm actually excited to start exercising again.  Wish me luck!  

Friday, November 06, 2009

A bit of a rant:

To the young man and the young woman yesterday:

Just because I exit from the grocery store with a cart full of groceries or depart from Fantastic Sams does not give you permission to immediately assume I'm ready to deplete my bank account again.  Don't give me sad eyes and tell me how much your charity needs my money after I've told you I can't afford to give you any (I need my money more, bucko).  

And to the young man?  You got my attention with reversing the Prop 8 decision, you got me all rev'd up about making sure our state gives people equal rights, making me believe that you wanted me to sign something.  Instead, you hand me a donation form and ask for $88?  What the hell?  We're in an effing recession, DUDE.  You're not going to even tell me where my money is going to go.  Paying your salary?  Don't make me feel guilty when I already contribute to 2 charities yearly.  I can't afford to help save everyone and everything.  I already help feed the hungry and contribute to saving animals.  You'll have my vote when Prop 8 is on the ballot, but you won't have my money.