Wednesday, February 28, 2007


Therapy has been going well. I adore my counselor, she is wonderful and supportive, just as a therapist should be. I love that Matt and I see different therapists at the same building at the same time, and then reconvine afterwards for date night. Because we're feeling open and relaxed, we have great conversations and are able to talk without being snippy and/or overly tired. Last night we went to a fabulous Italian reataurant where I had risotto with wild mushrooms and sausage, and a dry pinot grigio. Matt had chicken picatta and a beer. For dessert, the best tirimisu we've ever had. Melt in your mouth, and not too heavy on the rum.

These past few days I've been working at a company called Faction. They are a graphics company that do the posters, popcorn bags, mini posters, for movies, and big ones at that. Past projects include Toomraider, Four Brothers, Hitchhiker's Guide, Braveheart...all kinds of interesting films. And it's neat to see the process of what goes into making a poster, making the DVD boxes, and things. It's something, in terms of Hollywood and movies, that I have never really thought about. And great people work here. I have a great time. There's a part time position open, and even though I can't be here Monday or Tuesday, I'm hoping that they will ask me back next week after I get back.

Matt is doing well but creatively somewhat in the toilet. He's burned out and frustrated with several projects, and feeling disgruntled. He wants to go to the beach, so that's what we're doing this weekend. He's so excited and has no idea where we are going (and I'm not going to tell you until after we get back since he reads the blog). Just know that it's a beautiful hotel somewhere on the central California coast, in wine country, and we're both looking forward to having some time together, just us and no outside world stuff.

When I get home I'll post some pictures of our goddaughter, Catherine. Brie sent me some really charming ones. For being barely 1 month old, she's incredibly expressive!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Hollywood Party, 90210 style

(we talked for about 20 minutes, he's really nice)

I also saw Anthony Rapp from Rent which was exciting. Thursday night I went to a full on Hollywood Hills party, complete with a red carpet, security at the door, and the girls who stopped as at the door to see if we had the our names on the list. There were floating candles in the pool, free alchohol, poker tables galore, loud music, and rooms full of merchandise (i.e. the purse room, dress room, and shoe room), all of which you could get for free should you be recognizable. The biggest celeb I met was Joe Pantaliano, who's famous for being "Cypher" in The Matriz and "Francis Fratelli" in The Goonies. His role in Memento is also brilliant. His teeth are so white, I couldn't stop staring. He was nice, but busy, and had other, more interesting people to meet besides one little fan. All in all, it was a fun and interesting experience, but certainly not a lifestyle that I care to have.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

A decision has been made!

I finally got to have a chat with one of the senior partners here. Due some mis-communications that happened yesterday, I was finally able to clear the air. She asked me if I was interested in staying, I said "No, my heart just isn't here." I told her I needed to be available for my family, which she understood. I also told her that I wouldn't be able to stay that long, that hiring me would just be delaying the inevitable of finding someone who wants to be here and has an interest in the law. She was nice and understood. She asked why I lived in L.A. and I told her that my husband goes to AFI, and that I knew one of her clients, so we had a nice little chat.

It feels good to have this weight lifted off my shoulders. This is only a temp job and I can stop freaking out (Honestly, I shouldn't have been freaking out in the first place.) This has come to a close, and hopefully at this time next week, someone else will be sitting at this desk.

Thanks, Jenny, for picking up last night, and listening to me whine.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Heavy duty clientele


Joe Pantaliano

Kelsey Grammer (Happy Birthday!)

Christian Slater

John Landis

I may be going to a screening of What Love Is, possibly the premiere, I'm not sure. And there's some sort of VIP pre-Oscar goodie bag shindig that the ladies from the office have been invited to.

Maybe this job doesn't suck as much as I thought it would. But I'm still finding people for interviews and trying to find someone who wants to be here, who could do a good job. I could use this place for it's contacts, but you all know me and my over active conscience. I couldn't do that. I'd rather find someone who wants to be here and could turn this place around...

I know what y'all are thinking...what is this woman's problem with taking a job with all of these perks and talking to fabulous celebrities? When I come up with an answer, I'll post it.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

It's sunny outside, and where am I?

I am inside. To those of you who don't have sunny weather everyday, this may seem like a tragedy. It's a balmy 70 degrees with nice breeze coming through. The birds are singing, the sky is blue, and all seems right with the world. Except my allergies. That is not fun. Not at all. So I am inside, drinking water and trying to not take my allergy meds (ever since Mom passed I have this thing about extra chemicals coursing through my blood), but will probably take benadryl tonight so that I can sleep better.

Last week was fairly busy. I landed a temp job at an estate planning/entertainment law firm. They haven't had a receptionist for over a year, so in place of that the office manager (and she doesn't want that title) has been filling in or they've called in a temp (which is about $24+ an hour). Apparently the temps that have come in aren't exactly with it (Kelly, at work, calls them lemons) but then I show up. Eager, willing, and needing the paycheck for our slowly growing but equally important savings account. The job is cake: answering phones, getting coffee, tea, mail, etc. I can do this job in my sleep. It's not challenging - I've finished 2 books in the last week - and the pay through the temp agency is awesome. But now Kelly is asking me several times a day if I can stay. I have told her "no" on numerous occasions, that this job is not what I'm looking for, and I'm taking off next month for 3 weeks. So finally she wore me down and I said I'd talk to Matt this weekend but I had already made up my mind.

First of all, the job itself pays $14/hr. This is not acceptable to me. I have been making that amount for way too long, so that amount would need to be increased, to at least $17 (but whoever heard of a receptionist that gets paid that amount?) Second, the commute. I can't even begin to say how much I hate that commute. 10 miles away = 1 hour in traffic. Third, I'm way over qualified to be getting coffee and tea for some lawyers who have assistants who could easily get it for them. And did I mention I have to go get someone's lunch? As if! I don't think so. I could easily do this part time, maybe 2 days a week. It would certainly give me the cash that I need in addition to working for my father that would give us some good money to put away. Oh, my decision. Part time. Not full time. No benefits required and $15/hr.

Matt and I have come to an understanding about this, and we finally see eye to eye why I can't do this job full time. I am looking for something challenging and something I can be proud of. The whole thing about getting coffee and tea just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, if I wanted to do that, I'd apply to work at Starbucks. Know what I mean?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


I continuously here v-day tagged as a hallmark holiday, and I agree completely with that statement. Matt and I will barely see each other tomorrow as I have a temp job from 9:30-6:30, and then class form 7:30-10:30. He has class from 7-10. It will be hard enough to spend one of the most romantic days of the year with out him, with each of us pursuing work in one way or the other. But what makes it so much harder is that tomorrow is the 6 month anniversary of Mom's passing. I can't tell you how many times I have nearly burst into tears today, thinking about how 6 months ago today, she was still around. Sure, she was unable to eat, drink, talk, or move, but she was still physically here on this earth. Tomorrow is a huge reminder that she's still gone, that she's not coming back. I don't know why this is so hard for me to accept. Because she's my mom, yes, I know that. Because she was and is awesome, wonderful, supportive, caring, and a fabulous cook. One of my closest friends. Tomorrow is just going to suck, I can feel it. I'm already anticipating calling in ill tomorrow to work. I am already feeling a little unstable, but I'll see how I feel in the morning. In the meantime, I see foresee that haggan dazz ice cream bar in my freezer to be in my tummy by the day's end. And some tears.

Friday, February 09, 2007

History of Buffalo Wings

From my good friend Melanie in Indiana. True story, these words were said.

Setup: The other day we were talking about Westward Expansion - Indians and Buffalo and of course when you talk about Indians and Buffalo...what's the next thing you would talk about...(anyone want to guess...cowboys? NO Way!...Pioneers? Nope...Anyone else want to venture a guess? No one...okay) Of course the next thing you talk about is Buffalo wings! How we got on the subject I have no idea (but that is usual for this class)...and here is the conversation that occurred next (with one extremely embarassed girl.)

Girl in front row: "I thought buffalo wings were made out of buffalo meat."
(Class: Stunned silence)
Guy behind her: "yeah, you know those buffalo with wings - it's so annoying when they fly around"
(Class: some laughter)
Girl in front row: "I know buffalo's don't have wings, but I thought that's where they got their name from - because they used buffalo meat."
(Class: Lots of laughter)
Guy in back of class: "No, the guy who created the sauce that goes on the chicken wings was from Buffalo NY and that's why they're called Buffalo wings."
Girl in front row: "Oh...I really thought it was because they used buffalo meat."
(Class: still laughing)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Bye bye Anna...

I never liked her much, but it was still kind of a shock.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

20's vs. 30's

What is it about being in your twenties that feels so young and fabulous, while also feeling overwhelmed and unstable? And why is it that the 30's look so much more comfortable, more stable, when everything seems to come together. Myself and my friends in the 20's, I don't know, feel frazzled and pressured to "find direction". When, it seems my friends in their 30's, seemed to have found direction and are more content. And why is it when you say that you're 20something, people seem to not respect you as much as when others say that their are 30? I work just as hard and I'm nearly thirty...but somehow being 29 doesn't have the same effect as being 30.

I can't wait to be 30. Seriously. I am done with my twenties. Bring me stability. Bring me direction. I'm ready.

When will I turn 30? August 10, 2008. 18 months. Bleah.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Ups and Downs

Up: I'm awake earlier than usual which means I can get a head start on the day.

Down: I will actually spend my day worrying about Matt's upcoming graduation, the day we got the last loan check, and about my job.

Up: I'm going to work out this morning.

Down: I'm depressed and don't want to. I feel like I'm a two year old. I just don't WANNA! :(

Up: I saw Mom in my dreams again last night and felt so happy.

Down: But in reality, I'm so sad.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Happy Superbowl Sunday

Matt: How was the store?

Me: Oh fine. I left just as it started getting really busy.

Matt: Did you get any goodies?

Me: Well, let's see. I got avacaodos to make guacamole, I got pico de gallo salsa, lime tortilla chips, potato chips, cheezits, hamburger fixins including those potato hamburger buns you like...and I think that's about it...oh and a can of organic spicy chilli.

Matt: Why are you spoiling me?

Me: I don't know, cause it's man day?

Saturday, February 03, 2007

She's here!

Catherine Eleanor was born last night at 8:58pm. 8 pounds, 14 ounces, and 20 inches long. I am so proud of her parents and so excited to meet her in April. When I first heard the details, there were 2 thoughts that went through my head: "Oh my gosh, she's here, she's finally here!" and "Oh my god, OW!"

Friday, February 02, 2007

My little Ellie

My god-daughter, Catherine Eleanor, is arriving today. Her mom, my dear friend Brianna, went into labor last night and we just got a phone call that she should be arriving soon. We got a call from Dad, Stephen, who sounds completely exhuasted but so so excited and happy this morning. Matt and I can't wait to meet her!

Thursday, February 01, 2007


I'm trying somthing new. Through google email, I can actually type a document and publish it directly through my blog rather than logging into the blogger site. We'll see if it looks halfway decent and actually works. (It didn't.)

Last night was acting class and it went really well. I had a breakthrough. Even though I am a very emotional person I've been working very hard at staying in control, which has been detrimental to my acting. I just hold it all in and "act" my way through it which is something Cliff has been trying to get me to stop since I started class in November of 2005. Finally, last week, during taping, after a terrible first take, he asked me why I kept "acting" so frustrated and angry throughout the entire scene. I could only say "I just want....I mean, I...." and then burst into tears. Then the cameras rolled, and I had a breakthrough. It felt really good. I'm on the next step, finally something has clicked.

It's odd, grieving the loss of a parent. I mean, grieving is one thing. I have grieved grandparents, relatives I barely know, and colleagues of my parents. None of my friends have died, no children I know, no Aunts or Uncles. So to lose someone that I was so close to, it's the hardest thing I've ever done, to try and accept it. And last night Cliff started talking about death, and for the second time in a row, in class, I just burst into tears. I haven't been crying lately. I don't cry at home or even at therapy. For some reason, class is the place where it just comes out. And my eyes are puffy this morning, but I don't feel so sad right now. I'm sure that will come up again the week after next, when we start a whole new session.

One last thing - one of my favorite blogs is written by Molly. She has a way with words and even pictures that is refreshing and thoughtful. She lets us into her life with tidbits of info, and always making me wonder what she'll have to say next.