Monday, February 20, 2012

Middle Of The Night Madness

I sleep with earplugs because I'm a sensitive sleeper.  This means I can't hear myself snoring, and it's apparently pretty bad.  I don't know what to do.  Google, which is not my friend, says that it's most likely due to increased fluids in the body which includes my nasal passages.  I'm going to see if I can find those nasal strips at the drug store so that Hubby and I can both sleep.  I do sleep on my side.  I can try sleeping with my head elevated.  It supposedly gets worse into the third trimester.  Of course, increased snoring can be a warning sign for preeclampsia (which I've been tested for and was negative) or pregnancy apnea.  I'm supposed to ask Hubby if I'm sputter or cough at all while snoring, which I'm pretty sure I don't, because I'd wake myself up! I realize that one of us can sleep in another space, and it might just come down to that. 

I am 33 weeks pregnant, almost 34 (on Thursday) and I have truly begun the "done being pregnant/ready to meet my kid" phase.  I know he still has some cooking to do, but the swelling hands, feet, and ankles is really starting to annoy me.  Big time.  I have pregnancy induced carpel tunnel in my right hand all of the time.  There seems to be very little relief from it, aside from accpuncture.  This makes it difficult to write thank-you notes, to eat, use a can opener, open packages, etc.  There's numbness and tingling. 

I feel SO FAT.  All the weight gain is in my upper body, which I know is good, and I apparently still am not waddling.  I guess from behind you can't even tell I'm pregnant.  But these last several days I've felt like a whale and just wanted to stay in bed all day.  The emotions are out of control, I feel like crying most of the time.  I guess I'm just not in a good place tonight.  My last day at work is March 1, and from then on I'll be working at home full time up until baby boy arrives.  I plan on upping the workouts - swimming 2 times a week and yoga 2 times a week.  Right now the exercise has dwindled to yoga once a week, and an occasional walk.  Not good enough.  But I am drinking more water and aside from this weekend, watching my sodium intake, and that's helping me feel a little better. 

I should go back to bed soon.  I'm just trying to give Hubby a chance to sleep before I start snoring again. 

I'm also freaked out a little about labor and delivery.  I know, I know, women have been doing this for centuries, without drugs, and I can do it too.  But I haven't done this before.  My mom isn't here to tell me about her experience, what her warning signs were.  I am reading Ina May's Guild to Childbirth, which is helpful, but I'd get more relief if I just knew how my little sister and I arrived in this world.  There's only so much my relatives know.  I want to know what it FELT like, was she scared, excited, how did she cope with the pain, etc.  So many questions that will go unanswered. 

Last night I had my first panic attack about parenthood.  Full on tears, red in the face, hyperventilating, wondering "howamigoingtodothis" and "whatamigettingmyselfinto" fits of emotion.  I know everything will be fine, I know I'll figure it out just like all other first time Moms.  But at that moment, and moments in between, I panic.  And I write blog posts at 3am.  

I suppose you could say that missing Mom is at the root of all these "emotionally charged states" as Hubby likes to call them (it sounds better than my term, which is "complete meltdowns").  And yes, he's mostly right.  And that's all that I have to say about that topic. 

The friends baby shower, hosted by one of my best friends, Brie, was over the weekend and it was so lovely.  So many people turned up, and I was overwhelmed by the love and joy for this new life coming into the world.  What an amazing group of friends!

On that note, it's time for me to try and get some more shut-eye while I still can. 

1 comment:

Lena said...