Owen, Brandon, Wesley, Kai, Matteo, Archer, Madeline, Wesley, and the latest to join the group is little Caitlyn, born yesterday at 5:58pm. I am anxiously awaiting details and photos!
I apologize if I have forgotten any babies, it's been a whirlwind of a month.
And no, that's no mistake that Wesley is listed twice. There's our little W, and then my cousin and his wife welcomed their W-man on July 3, which means "The Twesleys" are exactly 4 months apart. :)
But don't fret, there are more on the way...and I'm sure there are more we just haven't heard about yet that will be greeting us around the holidays.
What an incredible year for babies! And looking at those names, it's the year for boys. Sheesh.
Moving on and moving up in the great city of Tacoma. And yes, I still dream of being a stage-actress.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
18 weeks!
My dear Wesley,
Goodness, your Mommy doesn't have time to blog these days. Or if I do, I'd rather watch TV or sleep, because writing requires brain power that I don't have much of these days!
Where do I begin? The biggest news is that you've rolled over! Twice! And I missed it both times! But that's ok, there are many more "firsts" to witness. You are starting to grab things, so focused on getting the rings in the right position so they are in just the right place for you to grab on to. You LOVE to stand up. Screw sitting, that's for babies! You are getting better and better at tummy time though you still hate it. And you are starting to put your knees under your hips to lift your bum, it's pretty cute.
We took you to the doctor last Friday and you weighed in at 14 pounds! No wonder my arms and back get sore so quickly. You have such a sweet disposition, always smiling and cooing. BUT you'll let us know if you're not happy about something. As long as your basic needs are met - food, dry dipaer, entertainment, standing/sitting - then you are good to go. People are so impressed with your good nature. I'd like to think Daddy and I had a little something to do with that.
You are also FINALLY sleeping in your crib on a regular basis! Just this Sunday, we started putting you down in your crib as you have gotten to be too heavy for your bouncy chair (it started looking a little horizontal when you were in it). So we put you down, and you sleep for 2 to 4 hours at a stretch. This means no more night shifts for your poor, sleep deprived parents. This means we can all go to bed at the same time. And while you still don't have a set bed time, this is a step in the right direction. And next week we start you on multi-grain cereal! We're hoping this will keep you a little more full during the night and you won't wake up so often. You are a growing, growing boy, so very hungry, all of the time!
You smile so often now. Whoever goes to get you from your crib in the morning gets big big smiles. Your cheeks are so big and chubby, and your toothless grin just melts my heart. You love to smile at whomever isn't holding you. You kind of giggle, scream, bounce, stare, drool, observe everything that comes across those beautiful blue eyes of yours. I love watching you and seeing you take in the world, watching your little brain and eyes and ears just processing that same window that's been there your whole life.
I love you my sweet, wonderful Wesley bear. I can't believe how much you've grown and changed these last few weeks, even just the last few days. I'm trying to enjoy every moment, even on the days when you drive me crazy and don't sleep. :)
Love,
Mommy
Goodness, your Mommy doesn't have time to blog these days. Or if I do, I'd rather watch TV or sleep, because writing requires brain power that I don't have much of these days!
Where do I begin? The biggest news is that you've rolled over! Twice! And I missed it both times! But that's ok, there are many more "firsts" to witness. You are starting to grab things, so focused on getting the rings in the right position so they are in just the right place for you to grab on to. You LOVE to stand up. Screw sitting, that's for babies! You are getting better and better at tummy time though you still hate it. And you are starting to put your knees under your hips to lift your bum, it's pretty cute.
We took you to the doctor last Friday and you weighed in at 14 pounds! No wonder my arms and back get sore so quickly. You have such a sweet disposition, always smiling and cooing. BUT you'll let us know if you're not happy about something. As long as your basic needs are met - food, dry dipaer, entertainment, standing/sitting - then you are good to go. People are so impressed with your good nature. I'd like to think Daddy and I had a little something to do with that.
You are also FINALLY sleeping in your crib on a regular basis! Just this Sunday, we started putting you down in your crib as you have gotten to be too heavy for your bouncy chair (it started looking a little horizontal when you were in it). So we put you down, and you sleep for 2 to 4 hours at a stretch. This means no more night shifts for your poor, sleep deprived parents. This means we can all go to bed at the same time. And while you still don't have a set bed time, this is a step in the right direction. And next week we start you on multi-grain cereal! We're hoping this will keep you a little more full during the night and you won't wake up so often. You are a growing, growing boy, so very hungry, all of the time!
You smile so often now. Whoever goes to get you from your crib in the morning gets big big smiles. Your cheeks are so big and chubby, and your toothless grin just melts my heart. You love to smile at whomever isn't holding you. You kind of giggle, scream, bounce, stare, drool, observe everything that comes across those beautiful blue eyes of yours. I love watching you and seeing you take in the world, watching your little brain and eyes and ears just processing that same window that's been there your whole life.
I love you my sweet, wonderful Wesley bear. I can't believe how much you've grown and changed these last few weeks, even just the last few days. I'm trying to enjoy every moment, even on the days when you drive me crazy and don't sleep. :)
Love,
Mommy
Friday, June 29, 2012
Growing Growing Growing
Wesley is growing like a weed. Already in 3 to 6 month pajamas because his legs are too long and feet too big for strictly 3 month pj's. It's incredible. And a little frazzling, because suddenly I find myself needing to sort through clothes that were "too big" just a few weeks ago. Amazing.
I have to save some stuff (like photos) for the 4 month letter, but let me just say that I LOVE this three month phase -- the talking, cooing, recognition -- LOVE LOVE LOVE. He's suddenly a little boy and quite an opinionated one at that.
I'm doing fine, and so is hubby. Just tired and busy as usual, discovering a new balance to life. It leaves little time for just the two of us, but we try to find time when we can. I'm pretty much full time Mommy while he's writing, producing, auditioning people for the next film, stuff like that. My work happens during naptime. The in-laws have been just stellar with helping around the house and babysitting, it's been awesome. Hubby and I are in for a very rude awakening when they head back to India on Tuesday. But they'll be back in December for Christmas, and Wesley will be mobile by then, driving us bonkers and entertaining us in new ways.
And lots of hugs and love to three expectant Mamas due next month - Kayla, Annie, and Cindy - you are going to ROCK at mommy-dom! Love you!!
I have to save some stuff (like photos) for the 4 month letter, but let me just say that I LOVE this three month phase -- the talking, cooing, recognition -- LOVE LOVE LOVE. He's suddenly a little boy and quite an opinionated one at that.
I'm doing fine, and so is hubby. Just tired and busy as usual, discovering a new balance to life. It leaves little time for just the two of us, but we try to find time when we can. I'm pretty much full time Mommy while he's writing, producing, auditioning people for the next film, stuff like that. My work happens during naptime. The in-laws have been just stellar with helping around the house and babysitting, it's been awesome. Hubby and I are in for a very rude awakening when they head back to India on Tuesday. But they'll be back in December for Christmas, and Wesley will be mobile by then, driving us bonkers and entertaining us in new ways.
And lots of hugs and love to three expectant Mamas due next month - Kayla, Annie, and Cindy - you are going to ROCK at mommy-dom! Love you!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Relationships
I didn't realize how hard it would be to maintain my friendships, whether they have kids or not. I didn't know that texting and email would be so much easier. And I didn't think that my guilt could get so out of control over something so small.
I struggle with guilt often. I want to be a good person, a good friend, to go above and beyond to be there for friends and family. And when I fall short, I feel like I've failed. I feel like suddenly someone is mad at me if I don't get a text or email back right away (which dates back to before mommyhood, when really, they're just as busy, if not more so, than I am). And I've been falling short a lot these days. I know it's all in my head. I know that I'm doing the best I can, that I am a new Mommy and that little Wesley is my main relationship for the next several months. But I don't want to take advantage of my friends and family...
So I guess, in my own way, this is a public apology for the unanswered emails, phone calls, and text messages. For canceling or rescheduling at the last minute, sleeping through our get togethers, appearing bleary eyed and exhausted. I know that you understand, and will tell me not to feel bad, but I do. I just want you to know how much I appreciate the talks, the emails, the words of support mean so much to me. The babysitting, the meals, the hand me down clothes...every little thing means the world to me and our little family.
I struggle with guilt often. I want to be a good person, a good friend, to go above and beyond to be there for friends and family. And when I fall short, I feel like I've failed. I feel like suddenly someone is mad at me if I don't get a text or email back right away (which dates back to before mommyhood, when really, they're just as busy, if not more so, than I am). And I've been falling short a lot these days. I know it's all in my head. I know that I'm doing the best I can, that I am a new Mommy and that little Wesley is my main relationship for the next several months. But I don't want to take advantage of my friends and family...
So I guess, in my own way, this is a public apology for the unanswered emails, phone calls, and text messages. For canceling or rescheduling at the last minute, sleeping through our get togethers, appearing bleary eyed and exhausted. I know that you understand, and will tell me not to feel bad, but I do. I just want you to know how much I appreciate the talks, the emails, the words of support mean so much to me. The babysitting, the meals, the hand me down clothes...every little thing means the world to me and our little family.
Monday, June 11, 2012
13 Weeks!
My sweet Wesley,
My goodness, how time has flown! You keep us so busy these days that Mommy hardly has time to think about writing blog posts, let alone water the garden or go grocery shopping. Priorities. You keep them in check.
Papa G and Gigi, Daddy's parents, arrived at the end of May and you finally got to meet them. Gigi is SO in love with you, she spends almost all of her time talking to you, singing, making faces and sounds, and you just eat it up. It's been wonderful to have them here, and she even lets Mommy and Daddy get a full eight hours of sleep at night so that we can be better parents and less crazy.
In the last few weeks, you have really changed. You are no longer just a baby, but a little person. You HATE being hungry or having a dirty diaper. You are still a grunter, so people always think you're pooping. You love being warm, not cold. Bath time isn't so bad now that we bathe you in your tub in the kitchen sink rather than in the bathroom. You have discovered your legs are for kicking, so you just kick kick kick in your chair, on the floor, in your crib, on your changing table (which makes changing poopy diapers especially messy), wherever you can. It's a great workout for you and leads to a nice long nap afterwards.
You've also started talking more, and by talking I mean lots and lots of cooing and high pitched happy sounds. You love being in the kitchen when we're cooking, watching and listening to all the different sounds and conversation. Where ever there is light, whether it's a window or a light bulb, your eyes go right to it. Your eyes are focusing a lot more now, and you lock onto Mommy frequently and follow me around the room. Your eyebrows are quite expressive, they are usually one of the first things people notice about you when you're awake, and we know immediately how you're feeling. You've even raised just one eyebrow a few times, which is quite comical on such a little person.
You've also discovered your hands and mouth, and have almost figured out that one goes to the other. Gigi told me the other day how you managed to put your binky back in your mouth all by yourself!
You have such a sweet disposition. Usually you don't cry unless you're hungry, tired, and/or overstimulated. Such a happy baby, and such a charmer! Those big blue eyes are soaking up everything they can. I love to watch your little brain working, trying to figure everything out, especially when I take you to a new place.
Speaking of which, this last weekend was very busy, but you did GREAT! Thursday I took you to the set of JourneyQuest 2 to visit Daddy so we could show you off. Friday and Saturday you met lots of family members, and yesterday I took you to book club to introduce you to more people. It was pretty clear by the end of the meeting that you were completely done with people and wanted to go home.
The biggest news, however, is that right at 3 months, you put yourself on a schedule. I don't know if the little schedule we had you on had anything to do with it. During the day, we'd wake you every 2 hours to feed and change your diaper, and then let you sleep however long you wanted to at night. Well, you were up for about 18 hours straight one day, driving us up the wall, as it was just the three of us. But that night, you slept for 3-5 hours at a stretch, waking only to feed and get your diaper changed. And it's been going on for almost 2 weeks! Amazing, and wonderful. Thank you for the extra sleep, little one. Mommy and Daddy (and Gigi and Papa G) are very very grateful.
I can't believe how much you've changed since you came home three months ago. I am so amazed and delighted at your self discovery each and every day, how the same chandelier at home makes you grin and coo every time we burp you on the couch. You are my little man, my sweet boy, and I'm so happy that I get to be your Mommy.
I love you so much. There are no words to really express just how much I love you.
Love,
Mommy
My goodness, how time has flown! You keep us so busy these days that Mommy hardly has time to think about writing blog posts, let alone water the garden or go grocery shopping. Priorities. You keep them in check.
Papa G and Gigi, Daddy's parents, arrived at the end of May and you finally got to meet them. Gigi is SO in love with you, she spends almost all of her time talking to you, singing, making faces and sounds, and you just eat it up. It's been wonderful to have them here, and she even lets Mommy and Daddy get a full eight hours of sleep at night so that we can be better parents and less crazy.
In the last few weeks, you have really changed. You are no longer just a baby, but a little person. You HATE being hungry or having a dirty diaper. You are still a grunter, so people always think you're pooping. You love being warm, not cold. Bath time isn't so bad now that we bathe you in your tub in the kitchen sink rather than in the bathroom. You have discovered your legs are for kicking, so you just kick kick kick in your chair, on the floor, in your crib, on your changing table (which makes changing poopy diapers especially messy), wherever you can. It's a great workout for you and leads to a nice long nap afterwards.
You've also started talking more, and by talking I mean lots and lots of cooing and high pitched happy sounds. You love being in the kitchen when we're cooking, watching and listening to all the different sounds and conversation. Where ever there is light, whether it's a window or a light bulb, your eyes go right to it. Your eyes are focusing a lot more now, and you lock onto Mommy frequently and follow me around the room. Your eyebrows are quite expressive, they are usually one of the first things people notice about you when you're awake, and we know immediately how you're feeling. You've even raised just one eyebrow a few times, which is quite comical on such a little person.
You've also discovered your hands and mouth, and have almost figured out that one goes to the other. Gigi told me the other day how you managed to put your binky back in your mouth all by yourself!
You have such a sweet disposition. Usually you don't cry unless you're hungry, tired, and/or overstimulated. Such a happy baby, and such a charmer! Those big blue eyes are soaking up everything they can. I love to watch your little brain working, trying to figure everything out, especially when I take you to a new place.
Speaking of which, this last weekend was very busy, but you did GREAT! Thursday I took you to the set of JourneyQuest 2 to visit Daddy so we could show you off. Friday and Saturday you met lots of family members, and yesterday I took you to book club to introduce you to more people. It was pretty clear by the end of the meeting that you were completely done with people and wanted to go home.
The biggest news, however, is that right at 3 months, you put yourself on a schedule. I don't know if the little schedule we had you on had anything to do with it. During the day, we'd wake you every 2 hours to feed and change your diaper, and then let you sleep however long you wanted to at night. Well, you were up for about 18 hours straight one day, driving us up the wall, as it was just the three of us. But that night, you slept for 3-5 hours at a stretch, waking only to feed and get your diaper changed. And it's been going on for almost 2 weeks! Amazing, and wonderful. Thank you for the extra sleep, little one. Mommy and Daddy (and Gigi and Papa G) are very very grateful.
I can't believe how much you've changed since you came home three months ago. I am so amazed and delighted at your self discovery each and every day, how the same chandelier at home makes you grin and coo every time we burp you on the couch. You are my little man, my sweet boy, and I'm so happy that I get to be your Mommy.
I love you so much. There are no words to really express just how much I love you.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, May 31, 2012
New reality
I was not prepared for this amount of sleep deprivation. It clearly didn't matter how many people told me, how many articles or books I read. Holy crap. Eight hours once in a blue moon is clearly not enough. My life is a series of naps. Day blends into night and vice versa. I'm really thrown now that the days are getting longer.
The hardest part about being a mom, I think, is that I don't always love it. And when I talk to a new mom who says "Isn't it just the best thing ever?" I just answered honestly. "Well, yes, but it's also really hard sometimes." And she looked at me like I was crazy. As if by giving that answer means I don't love my kid. Which is bullshit, because no words can describe how I feel about Wesley. But don't we all have bad days? Like today, where child has been up since midnight for the most part, eating every 60 to 90 minutes, sleeping 20 minutes, then repeat? And you can barely sleep, let alone eat? I mean, there is absolute truth in the statement "This is the hardest job you will ever love." No kidding.
What I was not expecting is how isolating motherhood would feel. And how my friendships would change. How I would feel like I've lost myself in some respects, and that the old me is gone. Which is exhausting to think about because I spent 3 or 4 years in counseling after Mom died, and came out a new, confident woman. And now I'm mommy. And this is a new part of my personality that I'm not familiar with, that arrived somewhat unexpectedly with Wesley being a preemie. When I talk to my friends, I start almost every conversation with "I'm all baby, all the time, and that's all I can talk about because that's my life right now." Most understand. And I certainly try to go easy on myself. But it's hard, and I don't even miss my old life because I can't remember life before Wesley. It all seems so far away.
I know he'll get older. I know this too shall pass. I know he'll grow like a weed right before my eyes, and before I'm ready he'll be off to preschool. I know I need/want to enjoy every single moment. But at this particular moment, I'd really just like 8 hours of straight sleep every night for a week.
The hardest part about being a mom, I think, is that I don't always love it. And when I talk to a new mom who says "Isn't it just the best thing ever?" I just answered honestly. "Well, yes, but it's also really hard sometimes." And she looked at me like I was crazy. As if by giving that answer means I don't love my kid. Which is bullshit, because no words can describe how I feel about Wesley. But don't we all have bad days? Like today, where child has been up since midnight for the most part, eating every 60 to 90 minutes, sleeping 20 minutes, then repeat? And you can barely sleep, let alone eat? I mean, there is absolute truth in the statement "This is the hardest job you will ever love." No kidding.
What I was not expecting is how isolating motherhood would feel. And how my friendships would change. How I would feel like I've lost myself in some respects, and that the old me is gone. Which is exhausting to think about because I spent 3 or 4 years in counseling after Mom died, and came out a new, confident woman. And now I'm mommy. And this is a new part of my personality that I'm not familiar with, that arrived somewhat unexpectedly with Wesley being a preemie. When I talk to my friends, I start almost every conversation with "I'm all baby, all the time, and that's all I can talk about because that's my life right now." Most understand. And I certainly try to go easy on myself. But it's hard, and I don't even miss my old life because I can't remember life before Wesley. It all seems so far away.
I know he'll get older. I know this too shall pass. I know he'll grow like a weed right before my eyes, and before I'm ready he'll be off to preschool. I know I need/want to enjoy every single moment. But at this particular moment, I'd really just like 8 hours of straight sleep every night for a week.
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Thursday, May 03, 2012
Two Months Old!
My dear Wesley,
My goodness, how you have GROWN in the last two months! When we brought you home, your skin was so thin, there was no layer of fat. I could look down at your neck and see your pulse beating. Now, your cheeks and neck are getting so wonderfully pudgy. I kiss them all the time and give you zerberts, while you look at me like I'm crazy.
While you are two months old, developmentally you are just four weeks. This preemie thing really confuses your sleep deprived mommy sometimes. I adjusted your birthday on babycenter.com so I know what is going on in your little body and what I need to practice with you this week. Daddy and I are supposed to start helping you track movement, which supposedly helps develop your hand/eye coordination later on. And it's working! We got out your toy basket, and Daddy plays with your stuffed animals, doing crazy voices...improv training comes in quite handy for him. But the mommy doesn't need toys. You just follow me and my voice. Precious boy. :)
You snore when you sleep, you hate to be cold, and lately you've reverted back to wanting to be held until you fall asleep. You love your blue binky more than any other. You don't like your crib but love your bouncy chair, which is fine with us since now whoever is taking care of you can sleep on the couch. Your poor parents are so sleep deprived, though, little boy, and I'm sorry we get mad. It's not your fault. An all liquid diet does mean you get hungry quite often.
We are also making the change to cloth diapers, and I giggle every time I see you in one. Your body is still fairly small, and those diapers just make your bum look ever so huge!
Oh, and I should mention that you HATE bathtime. Mostly after Daddy washes your head, because that's when you really get cold and start screaming.
And the screaming? It's just gotten sadder over the last few weeks. It started when you got your first round of shots and you discovered this sad sad wail that just broke our hearts. Of course, now we've gotten used to it and soothe you and giggle, which just makes you scream harder. I'm sorry, but it is kind of funny...
I love you, my sweet sweet chubby boy. Keep up the good work on tummy time, keep smiling and laughing. I love you so much, words can't describe how happy I am that you're here.
Love,
Mommy
My goodness, how you have GROWN in the last two months! When we brought you home, your skin was so thin, there was no layer of fat. I could look down at your neck and see your pulse beating. Now, your cheeks and neck are getting so wonderfully pudgy. I kiss them all the time and give you zerberts, while you look at me like I'm crazy.
While you are two months old, developmentally you are just four weeks. This preemie thing really confuses your sleep deprived mommy sometimes. I adjusted your birthday on babycenter.com so I know what is going on in your little body and what I need to practice with you this week. Daddy and I are supposed to start helping you track movement, which supposedly helps develop your hand/eye coordination later on. And it's working! We got out your toy basket, and Daddy plays with your stuffed animals, doing crazy voices...improv training comes in quite handy for him. But the mommy doesn't need toys. You just follow me and my voice. Precious boy. :)
You snore when you sleep, you hate to be cold, and lately you've reverted back to wanting to be held until you fall asleep. You love your blue binky more than any other. You don't like your crib but love your bouncy chair, which is fine with us since now whoever is taking care of you can sleep on the couch. Your poor parents are so sleep deprived, though, little boy, and I'm sorry we get mad. It's not your fault. An all liquid diet does mean you get hungry quite often.
We are also making the change to cloth diapers, and I giggle every time I see you in one. Your body is still fairly small, and those diapers just make your bum look ever so huge!
Oh, and I should mention that you HATE bathtime. Mostly after Daddy washes your head, because that's when you really get cold and start screaming.
And the screaming? It's just gotten sadder over the last few weeks. It started when you got your first round of shots and you discovered this sad sad wail that just broke our hearts. Of course, now we've gotten used to it and soothe you and giggle, which just makes you scream harder. I'm sorry, but it is kind of funny...
I love you, my sweet sweet chubby boy. Keep up the good work on tummy time, keep smiling and laughing. I love you so much, words can't describe how happy I am that you're here.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Worries
I met with my midwife yesterday, a follow-up appointment to see how everything is going. And everything is fine! She oogled over photos of Wesley, and said we're doing a great job with him.
I asked her several questions about my health so forth, but it was her answer to this one that has just been eating at me:
"If we wanted to have another baby, could I carry it to term?"
"Well, now that you've had a preemie baby, your risk for having another one increases three times. Once you're ready, we'll have you meet with a high-risk specialist and make a plan."
I should mention here that the topic of having another baby is off the table until next spring.
I suppose it's that phrase "high-risk" that's really eating at me. I see more high blood pressure and swelling, lots of bedrest (I was on bedrest with Wesley the week prior to his birth), and more stress tests. It scares me, frankly, but she encouraged me to not freak out because I did manage to get Wesley to 35 weeks. I guess I need to focus on what I can control now, which is my diet and new exercise plan. She gave me clearance to start walking and taking yoga classes. She said that yoga in particular would be really good for me. There is a community center not far from here, maybe 10 minutes or less, that offers a variety of classes and the gym membership is very decently priced.
So I guess you could say I'm trying to not over-anticipate, and I'm certainly not in any shape, mentally or physically, to go through another pregnancy any time soon. I'm just worried and trying to shake my mind of what could happen down the road. I have to keep in mind that I have an amazing opportunity now, to get myself healthy and in better shape so that if we do have another one, I'll be better prepared, and if not, well, I'll be able to fit into my pants better. :)
I asked her several questions about my health so forth, but it was her answer to this one that has just been eating at me:
"If we wanted to have another baby, could I carry it to term?"
"Well, now that you've had a preemie baby, your risk for having another one increases three times. Once you're ready, we'll have you meet with a high-risk specialist and make a plan."
I should mention here that the topic of having another baby is off the table until next spring.
I suppose it's that phrase "high-risk" that's really eating at me. I see more high blood pressure and swelling, lots of bedrest (I was on bedrest with Wesley the week prior to his birth), and more stress tests. It scares me, frankly, but she encouraged me to not freak out because I did manage to get Wesley to 35 weeks. I guess I need to focus on what I can control now, which is my diet and new exercise plan. She gave me clearance to start walking and taking yoga classes. She said that yoga in particular would be really good for me. There is a community center not far from here, maybe 10 minutes or less, that offers a variety of classes and the gym membership is very decently priced.
So I guess you could say I'm trying to not over-anticipate, and I'm certainly not in any shape, mentally or physically, to go through another pregnancy any time soon. I'm just worried and trying to shake my mind of what could happen down the road. I have to keep in mind that I have an amazing opportunity now, to get myself healthy and in better shape so that if we do have another one, I'll be better prepared, and if not, well, I'll be able to fit into my pants better. :)
Monday, April 16, 2012
Mommy Musings
Wesley turned 6 weeks old last Saturday. I have little room in my brain for more than eat, nap, and baby. Getting out of the house on my own for more than two hours is utter bliss. At least tomorrow he gets his shots (which I'm not looking forward to experiencing), which means I'll be more comfortable taking him on walks and into a few more public places.
I suppose the strangest thing, and from the mommies I've talked to, this is quite common, is the loneliness I feel. And it's not because we're not without support, because people have been amazing. It's the loneliness as a new mom, wondering if I'm already preparing my kid for future therapy sessions somehow. I feel such an overwhelming sense of responsibility, that sometimes it's easier to just cry it out than think it out. I went through a big phase of guilt, because he was premature and because I couldn't (and still can't) make enough milk (thank goodness for formula). I'm doing all that I can but it's still really hard, and it's the one thing I was supposed to be able to do, quite easily. But that's gone now. Usually the breakdowns now only happen when I haven't eaten and/or slept for awhile, so I'm trying to keep myself on a better schedule.
That's the other thing, taking care of myself is extremely difficult. I'm supposed to sleep when he sleeps, right? So where does all that other stuff come in, like eating and bathing, and a little time to myself now and then? It was really hard a few weeks ago, oh I just had such a difficult time. Everyone was making demands of me - pump often, take an epsom salts bath every night, sleep, eat, go for a walk, get out of the house, yada yada yada - and I absolutely know this all comes with the best intentions. But hearing/feeling/thinking all these things at the same time, and add sleep deprivation? Not a pretty sight. That's when Matt sends me to bed.
On the upside, Wesley is absolutely thriving. Last week at the doctor's office he weighed in at 7lb, 13 oz. He's graduated from preemie clothes (that actually happened awhile ago) to newborn clothes, and is now in Size 1 diapers. He is eating and sleeping regularly, aside from that "witching hour" that happens around 9 or 10pm (which I hear can be colic, and we'll be asking the doc about that tomorrow). He has a double chin, and neck rolls. We've started to hear sneak peaks as to what his laugh will sound like, and his smile takes up half his little face. His cheeks are totally pudgy, his hair sticks straight up after a bath, and he has got a set of LUNGS, people, lemme tell you. Singers lungs. Wonder wear he gets that from?
I know this won't last forever. I know that in a year, when he's walking or getting ready to, I'll long for the days where I could just cuddle him in my arms. So I keep myself in check, reminding myself that he can't help how he feels, nor how he chooses to express himself, and it's my job to try out everything to keep him calm and happy. There is no doubt in my mind that he is a beautiful little boy, and I'm a very lucky woman to be his mommy.
I suppose the strangest thing, and from the mommies I've talked to, this is quite common, is the loneliness I feel. And it's not because we're not without support, because people have been amazing. It's the loneliness as a new mom, wondering if I'm already preparing my kid for future therapy sessions somehow. I feel such an overwhelming sense of responsibility, that sometimes it's easier to just cry it out than think it out. I went through a big phase of guilt, because he was premature and because I couldn't (and still can't) make enough milk (thank goodness for formula). I'm doing all that I can but it's still really hard, and it's the one thing I was supposed to be able to do, quite easily. But that's gone now. Usually the breakdowns now only happen when I haven't eaten and/or slept for awhile, so I'm trying to keep myself on a better schedule.
That's the other thing, taking care of myself is extremely difficult. I'm supposed to sleep when he sleeps, right? So where does all that other stuff come in, like eating and bathing, and a little time to myself now and then? It was really hard a few weeks ago, oh I just had such a difficult time. Everyone was making demands of me - pump often, take an epsom salts bath every night, sleep, eat, go for a walk, get out of the house, yada yada yada - and I absolutely know this all comes with the best intentions. But hearing/feeling/thinking all these things at the same time, and add sleep deprivation? Not a pretty sight. That's when Matt sends me to bed.
On the upside, Wesley is absolutely thriving. Last week at the doctor's office he weighed in at 7lb, 13 oz. He's graduated from preemie clothes (that actually happened awhile ago) to newborn clothes, and is now in Size 1 diapers. He is eating and sleeping regularly, aside from that "witching hour" that happens around 9 or 10pm (which I hear can be colic, and we'll be asking the doc about that tomorrow). He has a double chin, and neck rolls. We've started to hear sneak peaks as to what his laugh will sound like, and his smile takes up half his little face. His cheeks are totally pudgy, his hair sticks straight up after a bath, and he has got a set of LUNGS, people, lemme tell you. Singers lungs. Wonder wear he gets that from?
I know this won't last forever. I know that in a year, when he's walking or getting ready to, I'll long for the days where I could just cuddle him in my arms. So I keep myself in check, reminding myself that he can't help how he feels, nor how he chooses to express himself, and it's my job to try out everything to keep him calm and happy. There is no doubt in my mind that he is a beautiful little boy, and I'm a very lucky woman to be his mommy.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
New Mommy Thoughts
- I never imagined that my thoughts would be so consumed with poop and milk.
- Who knew that I could survive for 7 hours on 4 hours of sleep?
- When he smiles, it's the best feeling in the world!
- I had no idea that days could blend together so quickly. There really is no sense of day or night. Time is broken up into "When did he last eat?" which is about 2 to 3 hour increments.
- I am frequently overwhelmed by the amazing and often scary amount of responsibility that comes with such a tiny, fragile human being.
- How is he almost one month old already?
- Date night tomorrow night! At a restaurant! With CLOTH napkins!!
- I can never get enough sleep. Ever. I don't think I'll ever really sleep again. Really.
- I get it now. I really do.
- Who knew that I could survive for 7 hours on 4 hours of sleep?
- When he smiles, it's the best feeling in the world!
- I had no idea that days could blend together so quickly. There really is no sense of day or night. Time is broken up into "When did he last eat?" which is about 2 to 3 hour increments.
- I am frequently overwhelmed by the amazing and often scary amount of responsibility that comes with such a tiny, fragile human being.
- How is he almost one month old already?
- Date night tomorrow night! At a restaurant! With CLOTH napkins!!
- I can never get enough sleep. Ever. I don't think I'll ever really sleep again. Really.
- I get it now. I really do.
Little W loves to be free from swaddling blankets!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Wesley's Arrival - Part 2
The anti-nausea medication makes me a little wonky, so my memory from here on out is a little fuzzy. The midwife checks me around 3, says she'll come back in another hour to check me again. For the next hour, I'm in so much pain, and asking Matt every 5 to 10 minutes "Is it 4pm yet?" I try yoga balls, I try yoga positions, and NOPE. Not comfortable. I just want to lean over on the bar in the bathroom to relieve this stupid, annoying, painful back labor.
Finally 4pm rolls around and the midwife checks me. She says I'm ready for the epidural and gets me ready to be wheeled into the delivery room. I'm completely out of it from the anti-nausea medication, and the contractions are so intense...as they get me into the wheelchair, and wheel me along to the delivery room, I just have my eyes closed the whole time. Each contraction is more than I can take, and I'm in so much pain...I can't catch a break. I'm SO excited for some relief!
I get to the delivery room. People are coming in and out. My Dad arrives, so does my Uncle Gregg and Aunt Diane. Our doula from Spokane is on the way. Brie is there. Matt is pacing, getting nervous and excited. I hear conversations about the anesthesiologist. I hear the midwife talking about checking me soon, and I hear the nursery nurses getting the bassinet ready. I can't have skin to skin because he's a preemie and they have to check him first. I hush everyone to please keep their voices down, the noise is overwhelming. And the contractions just keep happening faster and faster.
She checks me, finally. And I'm too far for the epidural. So far, in fact, that, I'm...um, well I'm ready. Within an hour I had gone from epidural time to "go time". The midwife tells me I'm going to have to do this without drugs.
I manage to squeak out "WHAT?"
The men clear the room, aside from Matt. He's on my left, Diane on my right.
This scream comes out of me, something so primal. I've not heard it before. It hurts, I'm tired, just get it OUT already!
And then, three pushes later, at 5:15pm, my son is born. He's not crying at first, but he does quickly, and the nurses tend to him after Matt cuts the cord. He has a huge cone head, and his little nose is squished so far over, but he's amazing and wonderful, and I can't wait to hold him. But I have to stop shivering first.
I recover. We go to a recovery room, and spend the next two nights saying "...a week ago we were at a baby shower..."
And here we are, today...Wesley is 16 days old. He has gained so much weight, an ounce a day! (At birth he was 4 pounds, 15 ounces and this last Friday he was 4 pounds, 14 ounces. I bet he's 5 pounds by now!) He's starting to get jowls, and his cheeks are getting chubby. I can see his dimples, and his belly is rounding out. He has most beautiful, soulful eyes, and a smile that just melts my heart.
Finally 4pm rolls around and the midwife checks me. She says I'm ready for the epidural and gets me ready to be wheeled into the delivery room. I'm completely out of it from the anti-nausea medication, and the contractions are so intense...as they get me into the wheelchair, and wheel me along to the delivery room, I just have my eyes closed the whole time. Each contraction is more than I can take, and I'm in so much pain...I can't catch a break. I'm SO excited for some relief!
I get to the delivery room. People are coming in and out. My Dad arrives, so does my Uncle Gregg and Aunt Diane. Our doula from Spokane is on the way. Brie is there. Matt is pacing, getting nervous and excited. I hear conversations about the anesthesiologist. I hear the midwife talking about checking me soon, and I hear the nursery nurses getting the bassinet ready. I can't have skin to skin because he's a preemie and they have to check him first. I hush everyone to please keep their voices down, the noise is overwhelming. And the contractions just keep happening faster and faster.
She checks me, finally. And I'm too far for the epidural. So far, in fact, that, I'm...um, well I'm ready. Within an hour I had gone from epidural time to "go time". The midwife tells me I'm going to have to do this without drugs.
I manage to squeak out "WHAT?"
The men clear the room, aside from Matt. He's on my left, Diane on my right.
This scream comes out of me, something so primal. I've not heard it before. It hurts, I'm tired, just get it OUT already!
And then, three pushes later, at 5:15pm, my son is born. He's not crying at first, but he does quickly, and the nurses tend to him after Matt cuts the cord. He has a huge cone head, and his little nose is squished so far over, but he's amazing and wonderful, and I can't wait to hold him. But I have to stop shivering first.
I recover. We go to a recovery room, and spend the next two nights saying "...a week ago we were at a baby shower..."
And here we are, today...Wesley is 16 days old. He has gained so much weight, an ounce a day! (At birth he was 4 pounds, 15 ounces and this last Friday he was 4 pounds, 14 ounces. I bet he's 5 pounds by now!) He's starting to get jowls, and his cheeks are getting chubby. I can see his dimples, and his belly is rounding out. He has most beautiful, soulful eyes, and a smile that just melts my heart.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Wesley's Arrival - Part 1
So as most of you know, the week before Wesley was born, I was put on bed rest. My sister came down towards the end of the week to cook me some food, do some laundry, and generally keep me company (and had the difficult task of keeping me off of my feet). Saturday, March 3, she headed back to Seattle with Matt, who had a JourneyQuest meeting. He'd be back in a few hours. As they left, they barked at me to stay off my feet and get some sleep.
I was looking forward to having some time to myself, actually. I was going to watch some stuff on Netflix/Hulu, catch-up on my thank-you notes, take a nap, etc. But first, I needed to shower.
I bathe. I get out. I look at my belly in the mirror and grin. I look down, and say "I can't wait to meet you."
Famous last words.
As if out of a movie, liquid comes gushing out of me. RIGHT AFTER I GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER. Ahem. But I'll just skip the gruesome parts, and say that I called Matt, told him to come home NOW, and then called my midwife. She wasn't concerned, but thought we should go to the hospital just to be on the safe side. She was sure it wasn't amniotic fluid because I was only 35 weeks pregnant.
Matt comes home. We pack a small bag, as I'm convinced I'm NOT in labor because I feel fine. No contractions, no discomfort. And we head to the hospital. We checked in around 11:30am. We get up to the Labor and Delivery part of the hosptial and there are 2 pregnant women ahead of me, clearly in labor. Squeezing their faces in pain, grimacing, actually. And I whisper to Matt, "That's not me. I'm not in pain. I'm fine."
Again, famous last words.
We check into a room, I get into the *not so glamarous* hospital gown, and wait. The nurse says that they are going to check and make sure that the fluid isn''t amniotic, and if it is, then they'll have me stay in the hospital for a few weeks to let the baby "cook" a bit longer and get me on anti-biotics. Ooo, sounds fun. Not. And of course, in the back of my mind, I think, "Oh GREAT. A giant hospital bill. Just what we need." Of course, I'm strapped onto monitors, one to hear the baby's heartbeat, and one to see if I'm having contractions. Which, for the moment, I'm not.
Now this is where I start to lose my sense of time. Let's just say that I start feeling some discomfort. And it's happening again and again. And before I know it, I'm in labor. I'm not able to labor in water, because they're worried about my risk for infection. Matt has to ask if I can labor out of bed because I'm having back labor (which thank GOD, they let me out of bed - back labor SUCKS). I puke, I cry, and Matt is right there by my side. The midwife comes in, says that based on my sudden contractions, we're having this baby today, and they're going to put me on an epidural (probably because of my high blood pressure but I honestly can't remember) when I hit a certain number, and I'm like "Great. Sign me up."
So they check me around 3, I think, and say I probably have another few hours before the epidural can be administered. But they do give me some anti-nausea medication so that I'm not horking all the time.
And with that, I need to go get some food before our little tree frog wakes up and makes his demands known. This little boy is such a wonderful treasure. I can't remember my life before he was born. I'm relishing every moment.
I was looking forward to having some time to myself, actually. I was going to watch some stuff on Netflix/Hulu, catch-up on my thank-you notes, take a nap, etc. But first, I needed to shower.
I bathe. I get out. I look at my belly in the mirror and grin. I look down, and say "I can't wait to meet you."
Famous last words.
As if out of a movie, liquid comes gushing out of me. RIGHT AFTER I GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER. Ahem. But I'll just skip the gruesome parts, and say that I called Matt, told him to come home NOW, and then called my midwife. She wasn't concerned, but thought we should go to the hospital just to be on the safe side. She was sure it wasn't amniotic fluid because I was only 35 weeks pregnant.
Matt comes home. We pack a small bag, as I'm convinced I'm NOT in labor because I feel fine. No contractions, no discomfort. And we head to the hospital. We checked in around 11:30am. We get up to the Labor and Delivery part of the hosptial and there are 2 pregnant women ahead of me, clearly in labor. Squeezing their faces in pain, grimacing, actually. And I whisper to Matt, "That's not me. I'm not in pain. I'm fine."
Again, famous last words.
We check into a room, I get into the *not so glamarous* hospital gown, and wait. The nurse says that they are going to check and make sure that the fluid isn''t amniotic, and if it is, then they'll have me stay in the hospital for a few weeks to let the baby "cook" a bit longer and get me on anti-biotics. Ooo, sounds fun. Not. And of course, in the back of my mind, I think, "Oh GREAT. A giant hospital bill. Just what we need." Of course, I'm strapped onto monitors, one to hear the baby's heartbeat, and one to see if I'm having contractions. Which, for the moment, I'm not.
Now this is where I start to lose my sense of time. Let's just say that I start feeling some discomfort. And it's happening again and again. And before I know it, I'm in labor. I'm not able to labor in water, because they're worried about my risk for infection. Matt has to ask if I can labor out of bed because I'm having back labor (which thank GOD, they let me out of bed - back labor SUCKS). I puke, I cry, and Matt is right there by my side. The midwife comes in, says that based on my sudden contractions, we're having this baby today, and they're going to put me on an epidural (probably because of my high blood pressure but I honestly can't remember) when I hit a certain number, and I'm like "Great. Sign me up."
So they check me around 3, I think, and say I probably have another few hours before the epidural can be administered. But they do give me some anti-nausea medication so that I'm not horking all the time.
And with that, I need to go get some food before our little tree frog wakes up and makes his demands known. This little boy is such a wonderful treasure. I can't remember my life before he was born. I'm relishing every moment.
Thursday, March 08, 2012
Automatic Daddy Chair Demo
I can't figure out how to flip the video, but I think you'll get the general idea...
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
Baby Wesley!
Baby Wesley made an early arrival. As in, a month early! My water broke around 10am on March 3, and he was born at 5:15 that evening. There's a very detailed, interesting story, and it all started with me getting out of the shower, looking down at my belly and saying "I can't wait to meet you!"
WHOOSH. Water broke. Not kidding! It was like something out of a movie.
But I am too tired/overwhelmed/in love with our little boy and our new life as parents, so you'll just have to settle for some photos. :)
Born 3/3/12
5:15pm
4lbs, 15 oz
17.5 inches long
We took him in to the pediatrician today and he's already gained back .8 of an ounce and grown about half an inch!
WHOOSH. Water broke. Not kidding! It was like something out of a movie.
But I am too tired/overwhelmed/in love with our little boy and our new life as parents, so you'll just have to settle for some photos. :)
Born 3/3/12
5:15pm
4lbs, 15 oz
17.5 inches long
We took him in to the pediatrician today and he's already gained back .8 of an ounce and grown about half an inch!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Baby Wesley Update
I'm not posting this on Facebook, or sending out throngs of emails.
Today, I went in for an ultrasound. Wesley is measuring a little small in his head and tummy, which could be associated with my high blood pressure. Nothing like freaking out a first time mommy Monday afternoon. :P
Midwife is cautious but optimistic. The placenta is very healthy, top grade (so says the midwife). Lots of fluid (hello 40 pound weight gain). Heartbeat is strong. Limbs are long, and he has a full head of hair to boot. Chat with Jenny made me feel much better.
Refusing to panic. Enjoying time off my feet and time to myself to relax.
Timing sucks. Matt starts filming JQ2 soon. Not sure how I'm going to do on my own.
I think Netflix instant que will be my new close friend over the next several days.
At least I can work from home. Working for Grandpa does have its benefits. :)
Today, I went in for an ultrasound. Wesley is measuring a little small in his head and tummy, which could be associated with my high blood pressure. Nothing like freaking out a first time mommy Monday afternoon. :P
Midwife is cautious but optimistic. The placenta is very healthy, top grade (so says the midwife). Lots of fluid (hello 40 pound weight gain). Heartbeat is strong. Limbs are long, and he has a full head of hair to boot. Chat with Jenny made me feel much better.
Refusing to panic. Enjoying time off my feet and time to myself to relax.
Timing sucks. Matt starts filming JQ2 soon. Not sure how I'm going to do on my own.
I think Netflix instant que will be my new close friend over the next several days.
At least I can work from home. Working for Grandpa does have its benefits. :)
Monday, February 20, 2012
Middle Of The Night Madness
I sleep with earplugs because I'm a sensitive sleeper. This means I can't hear myself snoring, and it's apparently pretty bad. I don't know what to do. Google, which is not my friend, says that it's most likely due to increased fluids in the body which includes my nasal passages. I'm going to see if I can find those nasal strips at the drug store so that Hubby and I can both sleep. I do sleep on my side. I can try sleeping with my head elevated. It supposedly gets worse into the third trimester. Of course, increased snoring can be a warning sign for preeclampsia (which I've been tested for and was negative) or pregnancy apnea. I'm supposed to ask Hubby if I'm sputter or cough at all while snoring, which I'm pretty sure I don't, because I'd wake myself up! I realize that one of us can sleep in another space, and it might just come down to that.
I am 33 weeks pregnant, almost 34 (on Thursday) and I have truly begun the "done being pregnant/ready to meet my kid" phase. I know he still has some cooking to do, but the swelling hands, feet, and ankles is really starting to annoy me. Big time. I have pregnancy induced carpel tunnel in my right hand all of the time. There seems to be very little relief from it, aside from accpuncture. This makes it difficult to write thank-you notes, to eat, use a can opener, open packages, etc. There's numbness and tingling.
I feel SO FAT. All the weight gain is in my upper body, which I know is good, and I apparently still am not waddling. I guess from behind you can't even tell I'm pregnant. But these last several days I've felt like a whale and just wanted to stay in bed all day. The emotions are out of control, I feel like crying most of the time. I guess I'm just not in a good place tonight. My last day at work is March 1, and from then on I'll be working at home full time up until baby boy arrives. I plan on upping the workouts - swimming 2 times a week and yoga 2 times a week. Right now the exercise has dwindled to yoga once a week, and an occasional walk. Not good enough. But I am drinking more water and aside from this weekend, watching my sodium intake, and that's helping me feel a little better.
I should go back to bed soon. I'm just trying to give Hubby a chance to sleep before I start snoring again.
I'm also freaked out a little about labor and delivery. I know, I know, women have been doing this for centuries, without drugs, and I can do it too. But I haven't done this before. My mom isn't here to tell me about her experience, what her warning signs were. I am reading Ina May's Guild to Childbirth, which is helpful, but I'd get more relief if I just knew how my little sister and I arrived in this world. There's only so much my relatives know. I want to know what it FELT like, was she scared, excited, how did she cope with the pain, etc. So many questions that will go unanswered.
Last night I had my first panic attack about parenthood. Full on tears, red in the face, hyperventilating, wondering "howamigoingtodothis" and "whatamigettingmyselfinto" fits of emotion. I know everything will be fine, I know I'll figure it out just like all other first time Moms. But at that moment, and moments in between, I panic. And I write blog posts at 3am.
I suppose you could say that missing Mom is at the root of all these "emotionally charged states" as Hubby likes to call them (it sounds better than my term, which is "complete meltdowns"). And yes, he's mostly right. And that's all that I have to say about that topic.
The friends baby shower, hosted by one of my best friends, Brie, was over the weekend and it was so lovely. So many people turned up, and I was overwhelmed by the love and joy for this new life coming into the world. What an amazing group of friends!
On that note, it's time for me to try and get some more shut-eye while I still can.
I am 33 weeks pregnant, almost 34 (on Thursday) and I have truly begun the "done being pregnant/ready to meet my kid" phase. I know he still has some cooking to do, but the swelling hands, feet, and ankles is really starting to annoy me. Big time. I have pregnancy induced carpel tunnel in my right hand all of the time. There seems to be very little relief from it, aside from accpuncture. This makes it difficult to write thank-you notes, to eat, use a can opener, open packages, etc. There's numbness and tingling.
I feel SO FAT. All the weight gain is in my upper body, which I know is good, and I apparently still am not waddling. I guess from behind you can't even tell I'm pregnant. But these last several days I've felt like a whale and just wanted to stay in bed all day. The emotions are out of control, I feel like crying most of the time. I guess I'm just not in a good place tonight. My last day at work is March 1, and from then on I'll be working at home full time up until baby boy arrives. I plan on upping the workouts - swimming 2 times a week and yoga 2 times a week. Right now the exercise has dwindled to yoga once a week, and an occasional walk. Not good enough. But I am drinking more water and aside from this weekend, watching my sodium intake, and that's helping me feel a little better.
I should go back to bed soon. I'm just trying to give Hubby a chance to sleep before I start snoring again.
I'm also freaked out a little about labor and delivery. I know, I know, women have been doing this for centuries, without drugs, and I can do it too. But I haven't done this before. My mom isn't here to tell me about her experience, what her warning signs were. I am reading Ina May's Guild to Childbirth, which is helpful, but I'd get more relief if I just knew how my little sister and I arrived in this world. There's only so much my relatives know. I want to know what it FELT like, was she scared, excited, how did she cope with the pain, etc. So many questions that will go unanswered.
Last night I had my first panic attack about parenthood. Full on tears, red in the face, hyperventilating, wondering "howamigoingtodothis" and "whatamigettingmyselfinto" fits of emotion. I know everything will be fine, I know I'll figure it out just like all other first time Moms. But at that moment, and moments in between, I panic. And I write blog posts at 3am.
I suppose you could say that missing Mom is at the root of all these "emotionally charged states" as Hubby likes to call them (it sounds better than my term, which is "complete meltdowns"). And yes, he's mostly right. And that's all that I have to say about that topic.
The friends baby shower, hosted by one of my best friends, Brie, was over the weekend and it was so lovely. So many people turned up, and I was overwhelmed by the love and joy for this new life coming into the world. What an amazing group of friends!
On that note, it's time for me to try and get some more shut-eye while I still can.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Eight. Months.
It's official. Just two months or so, and our baby will be here. Where has the time gone? I can't keep track of anything these days. If it didn't happen yesterday or today, I won't remember. My Google calendar is full of reminders to call friends and family, appointments, and things to do around the house. Somehow, I'm also squeezing in a decent amount of work. I'm really feeling the pressure to accomplish so many things at work because I know, in as little as FIVE WEEKS, I'll have a newborn to take care of and everything else will just have to wait.
I've decided to stop panicking about money. We have gotten (and been blessed to receive) so many used items from friends that aside from the crib and lounge chair. I'm not concerned about the crib because he'll be sleeping in the bassinet for the first 2 or 3 months anyway. Matt will get back paid, he's getting a raise with the new job, and since the best thing for me to do is remain calm and relaxed, then that is what I am going to do.
Work threw me a lovely baby shower yesterday. It was so sweet. They are all so excited, because the youngest "kid" is now 17. I was so touched by their generosity and excitement. I love working with these people. They are more like family, which is how it should be when you are working for the family business.
The baby showers will happen soon. The first one is next weekend, and it's the friends shower, at our house. Matt got pictures up on the walls last weekend, and they look really good. We have one wall in the hallway dedicated to family photos, and we are so excited to add pictures of the baby! So many friends are coming from out of town, and I can't tell you how much this means to me. I am truly honored to be surrounded by such amazing people.
The 25th is the family shower in Seattle which I am also excited about. Family members from my side and Matt's side will be there, as well as a few close family friends. I am really excited to see everyone. I love my family through and through, and I am blessed to have them in my life.
Eight months. Five to 10 weeks to go. I can't believe it. But you'd better believe that in addition to all this other stuff, Matt and I are squeezing in as many date nights/lunches as we can. Time is limited, at least for a little while!
Oh, and I should also mention that baby boy is big enough that now, if he kicks hard enough or moves around enough, I can see the movement along with feeling it. Which means during my meeting yesterday at work, Grandpa was entertained by his grandson's movements. It was really cute.
I've decided to stop panicking about money. We have gotten (and been blessed to receive) so many used items from friends that aside from the crib and lounge chair. I'm not concerned about the crib because he'll be sleeping in the bassinet for the first 2 or 3 months anyway. Matt will get back paid, he's getting a raise with the new job, and since the best thing for me to do is remain calm and relaxed, then that is what I am going to do.
Work threw me a lovely baby shower yesterday. It was so sweet. They are all so excited, because the youngest "kid" is now 17. I was so touched by their generosity and excitement. I love working with these people. They are more like family, which is how it should be when you are working for the family business.
The baby showers will happen soon. The first one is next weekend, and it's the friends shower, at our house. Matt got pictures up on the walls last weekend, and they look really good. We have one wall in the hallway dedicated to family photos, and we are so excited to add pictures of the baby! So many friends are coming from out of town, and I can't tell you how much this means to me. I am truly honored to be surrounded by such amazing people.
The 25th is the family shower in Seattle which I am also excited about. Family members from my side and Matt's side will be there, as well as a few close family friends. I am really excited to see everyone. I love my family through and through, and I am blessed to have them in my life.
Eight months. Five to 10 weeks to go. I can't believe it. But you'd better believe that in addition to all this other stuff, Matt and I are squeezing in as many date nights/lunches as we can. Time is limited, at least for a little while!
Oh, and I should also mention that baby boy is big enough that now, if he kicks hard enough or moves around enough, I can see the movement along with feeling it. Which means during my meeting yesterday at work, Grandpa was entertained by his grandson's movements. It was really cute.
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Not Panicking About Money
Really, it's true. Sort of.
I cannot believe how much money we are spending these days. Some of it is on eating out because I'm too tired to cook. Some of it isn't on baby stuff, it's more like "Oh, we need curtains for downstairs" and "Oh, we need an electric drill" and "Oh, we need a shredder so we can get rid of those bills from 2004". It's nesting. Getting things accomplished around the house so we don't have to worry/fret about them as time gets closer and after our little boy arrives. Seriously, we've hardly spent any money on baby stuff, except for the paint for his room and a few cute baby outfits. Hubby is changing jobs and will get back-paid, and while I'm hesitant to withdraw money out of savings, I keep reminding myself that it will be replenished by the end of the month.
There are bigger problems in this world, and I keep reminding myself that even if we do have to withdraw from savings, that we are in such a better place than we were even six months ago, financially and relationship wise.
Now if my feet and ankles would stop swelling, I think I'd be just about perfect.
I cannot believe how much money we are spending these days. Some of it is on eating out because I'm too tired to cook. Some of it isn't on baby stuff, it's more like "Oh, we need curtains for downstairs" and "Oh, we need an electric drill" and "Oh, we need a shredder so we can get rid of those bills from 2004". It's nesting. Getting things accomplished around the house so we don't have to worry/fret about them as time gets closer and after our little boy arrives. Seriously, we've hardly spent any money on baby stuff, except for the paint for his room and a few cute baby outfits. Hubby is changing jobs and will get back-paid, and while I'm hesitant to withdraw money out of savings, I keep reminding myself that it will be replenished by the end of the month.
There are bigger problems in this world, and I keep reminding myself that even if we do have to withdraw from savings, that we are in such a better place than we were even six months ago, financially and relationship wise.
Now if my feet and ankles would stop swelling, I think I'd be just about perfect.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
31 Weeks down, 9 weeks to go!
How is this possible? I mean, really. 9 weeks left to get for little man's arrival, that's just crazy! Thankfully hubby painted the nursery this week, and it's a really lovely shade of blue.
I am feeling pretty good, just tired. Annoyed that I've got swollen feet, ankels, and hands, but I'll take that over heartburn. Little boy loves to climb as high as he can and wedge up against my stomach and liver, which makes bending over a huge task. Hubby has the joyous task now of tying my shoes every morning. And rubbing my feet every night. My feet look like little sausages by the end of the day. It's a sad and somewhat amusing sight. It would probably be a little more funny if they didn't hurt so much.
But all in all, I can't complain. I'm having a healthy pregnancy, no complications, work is busy, and the house is looking pretty good. Hubby is happy and fulfilled, and busy as can be. So many friends and family are having major traumas in their lives. Hubby and I are so grateful that we are in a good place for the time being. I know it won't last, another bump in the road is on it's way, but for now, I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
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