I met with my midwife yesterday, a follow-up appointment to see how everything is going. And everything is fine! She oogled over photos of Wesley, and said we're doing a great job with him.
I asked her several questions about my health so forth, but it was her answer to this one that has just been eating at me:
"If we wanted to have another baby, could I carry it to term?"
"Well, now that you've had a preemie baby, your risk for having another one increases three times. Once you're ready, we'll have you meet with a high-risk specialist and make a plan."
I should mention here that the topic of having another baby is off the table until next spring.
I suppose it's that phrase "high-risk" that's really eating at me. I see more high blood pressure and swelling, lots of bedrest (I was on bedrest with Wesley the week prior to his birth), and more stress tests. It scares me, frankly, but she encouraged me to not freak out because I did manage to get Wesley to 35 weeks. I guess I need to focus on what I can control now, which is my diet and new exercise plan. She gave me clearance to start walking and taking yoga classes. She said that yoga in particular would be really good for me. There is a community center not far from here, maybe 10 minutes or less, that offers a variety of classes and the gym membership is very decently priced.
So I guess you could say I'm trying to not over-anticipate, and I'm certainly not in any shape, mentally or physically, to go through another pregnancy any time soon. I'm just worried and trying to shake my mind of what could happen down the road. I have to keep in mind that I have an amazing opportunity now, to get myself healthy and in better shape so that if we do have another one, I'll be better prepared, and if not, well, I'll be able to fit into my pants better. :)