I have been having some thoughts lately, some good, some bad, and I'm not sure what to do with them.
First thought is my resolution to talk less and listen more...I don't know if it's working. Each time I catch myself yapping, I wonder if I'm talking selfishly or about a topic that is of interest to people? Frankly, mostly what I talk about seems to be negative, and I don't want want to be a negative person. It's mostly frustration with some people in my life, and trying to figure out how to best approach them next time I feel frustrated. But most of the things that do urk me tend to be little things, then the little things build and then I just explode. That's not healthy. So it's up to me to find ways to let this out, and I think surrournding myself with positive people, continuing to search for new job opportunities (I have an interview on Tuesday, we'll see what happens), enjoying the moment, and developing a realistic exercise plan will be highly effective in my "personality makeover" for 2008.
Second thought is how much I want my own business. For many of you, this is the first you've heard of it, but Matt has known for years how much I would love to run a bed and breakfast. I love to host, and I've been told I come alive when I have a group of people at my home. For Christmas, Matt got me a couple of books on running a B&B, and so far, it hasn't scared me off. In fact, it's just gotten me more motivated to develop a rough business plan.
There's a phrase that really gets to me - "It's not personal, it's business." To me, business is personal. You don't have to be buddy buddy with everyone but you can be professional and respectful. And that's what I have been missing in my last few jobs. So for the new year, I made a resolution in my current workplace - I have been working on my attitude. Being more friendly but professional, curt but nice, and it seems to be working. People are responding and in a positive way, which makes me want to continue to improve.
I know the kind of person I want to be but still be myself. I am making my way through my grief and I need to remember that this is a day-to-day process.