It's good ? to be back

I went back to Bikram Yoga on Sunday morning at the ungodly hour of 8am. And it felt great! The bonus was that I got a super parking spot right outside the studio. I was barely with it on my way to my car, but with Tom Petty singing on the way home, I felt very calm and at peace which I haven't felt in such a long time. I couldn't wait to go back.

Another bonus to Sunday's practice - my favorite instructor was there! His name is Tavi, and he is just amazing. Which reminds me, I need to call the studio and find out which classes he teaches. He makes the session so enjoyable and relaxing and I feel like he really cares about each person in the class.

Come Monday afternoon at work, I stood up and almost had to sit back down again, the pain was so intense! I must have pulled a muscle in my calf that makes it difficult to stand and walk after a few hours of sitting at my desk, watching tv, etc. So I'm trying to get up once an hour and just walk around. Stretching doesn't seem to help. I'm so miffed. I was hoping to go back tonight but I think I'll wait. I don't want to antagonize this little injury any further. I think I'll go back on Saturday morning. Even though 8am is ungodly early, the studio is not humid which make the practice much easier for me. Hopefully my leg will be feeling better by then. Even if it's not, I may go back anyway as it would be good to stretch it out and as long as I listen to my body during practice, I should be fine. Just being in that hot room is enough to get a good work out!

Inspired by someone I barely know

About a year and a half ago, my friend Celena introduced me to a wonderful workout called Bikram Yoga. I fell in love with it almost immediately, despite the naseua from the heat and the sore muscles the next day (later I found out it's one the poses that makes me feel ill, so I just started skipping that particular step until I felt stronger). Anyway, I recently found a blog written by an old aquaintance and theater buff I knew in college (what does SB mean?). I found out that she practices Bikram Yoga too! I thought to myself "If she can do it, so can I. She commutes from Tacoma to the eastside every day, for petes sake. And remember it helped you lose 10 pounds in 6 weeks?"

So I am going to commit to Bikram again. Twice a week - once after work and once on the weekends. They say you have to go twice a week minimum to get the maximum results and I can do that. The closest studio has a session late at night that I really enjoyed. There's also one in Studio City that has a session at 10pm, which my manager goes to. I told her next time she goes to let me know so that I could join her and experience a new place.

Now this yoga costs moolah. And we don't have a lot of it. I've been spending my allowance on eating out to lunch everyday, keeping it as cheap and as healthy as possible. If I'm to start yoga, I must find an alternative. I have found a room in our office that is not being used, has a great view of the lot and the park, and has no phone! I can easily eat in there and read a book. I'm also going to research nearby parks for when I have the car and need to escape. I'll allow myself to eat out on Thursdays, and maybe a Friday or two.

Save money and get healthy at the same time. I can do this!

Introspective

Thanks, Cindy!

life would be simpler if... the writers strike was over and matt got signed by an agent.

i feel most beautiful... when i'm laughing.

the quality i like most about myself... how i can find the positive in the negative, no matter what the situation is.

the quality i like least about myself is... i can't seem to find the right words to express myself when i'm talking.

something that no one knows about me is... i have a hard time being around strong women sometimes because i want to be like them instead of my irritating self.

something I'm proud of... sticking out this job even though i've now been bored for hours. we need the money and at least i have a job!

guiltiest pleasure? cookies and milk after 10pm.

high road or low road? High

my favorite possession is... my new wool coat

when i was little, i wanted to be... a marine biologist. i was fascinated with the sea.

what surprises me most about my adult life is... that seeing your friends and family every so often is acceptable and how tired i am after a "long" day at work.

the big decision i'm currently wrestling with is... how to be a better human being and to put forth the postive engery i so desperately want in my own life. and what will we do if the writer's strike doesn't end before we have to pay back the loans?

It's cold for us!

Freezing at night, shivering under the sheets and wearing fleeces when I get home. Hot cups of decaf pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks, wearing my wool coat at work, and it's just barely enough.

I am a weather wimp and proud of it. When it's 100 degrees in the summer, 60 degrees in the winter is cold!

So proud!

Last night was the end of a long day. We had to return the rental car last night and pick up our car from the shop (since we are driving an 800 mile round trip to San Francisco in 2 weeks we wanted to have the car looked at, thank goodness we did because there was a small oil leak). Due to traffic, we couldn't return the rental car by 6 but we could pick up our car. All of the sudden we were a two-car family! But only for a night. :P Anyway, Matt dropped me off at the dealer's to pick up our car and headed home, only to find traffic on Hollywood Blvd at a standstill (10 minutes later I had no problems...that is, until I got to Western). He was tired and frustrated and hungry. So was I. After a long day at work, the last thing I wanted to do was cook. He suggested ordering in but I was tired of the options and knew I could make something much better for him. So, I settled for me having leftovers and making him his own dish. Luckily, I had planned this dish out already and the bonus was it's one of his favorites.

Since our new blog is for new recipes only, I'll post it here. Enjoy!

Sausage and Peppers
from Cooking With My Sisters by Adriana Trigiani

Note: This is the "serves 2" version.

4 pre-cooked italian sasuage links, such as Addells, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1-2 green peppers, sliced
salt and pepper to taste
1 clove garlic, minced (optional, I haven't tried it yet but I will next time)

In large skillet, pour a little water on the bottom so that the sausages don't burn. Turn skillet to medium-high heatWhen ready, add italian sausage and cook for about 3-5 minutes, until slightly softened. Add vegetables and seasonings, stir, and cover for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to medium or medium-low.

By now, I eye-ball this reciepe. Be careful to not overcook the sausages. Vegetables should still be a little crispy. Excellent with a tossed salad and a slice of hearty bread.

Feeling good

And taking advantage. I've been doing well with taking my daily medications of no-sneeze and no-sniffle. It's been really nice to be able to breathe at night again. Still working on "working out" when I get home but I'm up to once a week which is an improvement after nothing at all. Will try for twice a week soon - shooting for once after work and once during the weekend. The ballet DVD that I got for my birthday kicks my butt every time, but I know it's for the best in the long run.

I've been having so much fun with the new blog that Cindy and I created last weekend. It's really inspired me to cook more and try new things that originally I would say "no" to. I've also enjoyed seeing the difference in our styles of cooking and recipe choices.

No more weekly recipes here!

Check out Cooking Kama Sutras, a communal hot and spicy cooking site where (so far) Cindy and I share new recipes and the stories that emerge with them. I hope you enjoy it and if you want to contribute, let us know!

Hope to see you in our e-kitchen soon!

What I love right now

My husband who has been very understanding of my moodiness and is there to calm me down and help me figure out what is really going on.

My friends who have offered to listen so that I can unload my brain, shuffle things around, and get everything organized in my head.

My therapist who has encouraged me to come to therapy once a week for the next 4 weeks to help deal with my anger, sadness, and general frustration. I told her it's going to be hard to tear down this wall that I've built up and that as I was telling her that, I could feel my brain going "NO! NO! Stop talking! Don't go there!"

Blogging. It helps me open up to you, my friends and family, and let you know how I'm doing without having to really "say" anything.

Terrible movies. I mean REALLY BAD movies. Last night I saw "Showgirls" with Elizabeth Berkley. UGH. I especially enjoyed the fake bras around the boobs. I couldn't even watch the last 10 minutes because I found the last 10 minutes a show I hadn't been watching much more interesting. And I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

The Actors Studio. On Tivo, I have saved the following episodes: The Simpsons, Robin Williams, and Alec Baldwin. Anytime I need a laugh, I just push play and almost instantly I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.

New season of Project Runway starts November 14!! I'm so so excited!

Rough days ahead

But little things make me laugh. Thanks Katy!

Getting personal

Did you ever have so many thoughts in your head and feelings in your heart that you just don't know where to begin? Did you ever think that if you don't express yourself soon, whether it's in anger, frustration, happiness, or confusion, that you'll just burst? Do you ever feel that you don't know who you are, but you know who you want to be, and you have no clue how to get there? Or maybe you do, but it's an awful lot of emotional work and by unraveling you'll not be this "strong" person that people think you are? Did you ever feel so close to reaching out to those who love you but decided at the last minute you'd rather just deal with it on your own?

I had some great things to say this morning on my way to work, but of course that was in the car when I can't jot down my thoughts, and I've forgotten what I really wanted to say.

On fire

As I am sure many of you have heard by now, there are about 15 wildfires burning in Southern California. Matt and I are not directly affected, and neither are our friends. But that's not to say we aren't freaked out by the giant smoke cloud above the city every night, or by the eerily pink/red sun that appears at dusk. I check the news reports about every hour to get some sort of update. I think of all the families and animals that are displaced from their homes, hoping that their lives will soon be back to normal. I also can't help but wonder about staying in SoCal for the long-term means that our future home will eventually burn down.

And the doctor says...

...that I have severe allegies. Here are prescriptions for 3 different medications! Claritin, Flo-nase, and the Sudafed that you have to get from behind the counter as it is the "real stuff". They even had to run my driver's license at the pharmacy to make sure I wasn't on record for making meth! The doctor said the reason I wasn't sleeping was because of my allergies, so we'll see. But yet again, I couldn't sleep last night - up for 5 hours! I called in to my manager this morning and said "I couldn't sleep, must function, need to sleep in." Everyone has been very understanding, and I hope these meds solve the problem. Of course, with the Santa Ana winds blowing like mad and the fires, my allergies are more intense.

I may also get some over-the-counter sleeping pills just in case this doens't work. My chiropractor says I have to re-set my clock. I have be in bed by 10:30 at the latest and get up at 6:30 without hitting the snooze button. I also need to exercise when I come home instead of taking a nap which will help me wake up and be more alert in the evening.

Part of the reason I couldn't sleep last night was that I was having terrible nightmares, unfortunately about my mom. I was screaming in my dream to wake up and I woke up in my dream, only to find myself hallucinating about my surroundings...I fell on the floor, and our kids walked in saying "What's wrong with you?" It was really freaky. My dreams have been like that for the past few weeks, and I'm not sure why.

Here's to new schedules, new internal clocks, and my medicated self. Woohoo!

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday Matt and I celebrated 6 years of being together, and we had so much fun.

We started off by him letting me sleep in until 11, and then we got ready to go see the chiropractor, Dr. Campos. He had to stagger our appointments, which was fine because there was a lovely sushi restaurant downstairs where we enjoyed our lunch. After our adjustments, we came home and promptly napped for 3 hours. We are such romantics. :)

Our original plans for dinner called for dinner at Universal City Walk but we decided to blow that off and go to The Grove. I chose the restaurant, one of my favorites in the city. I don't know the name but it's there right when you walk in. We both had pasta for dinner accompanied by a pinot noir wine from Oregon (Cindy, it's the one you like), and then the restaurant treated us to a chocoloate mousse cake for our anniversary.

Afterwards, we went to the movie theater just across the way and bought tickets for Elizabeth II. Since the movie didnt' start for 2 hours, we did some window shopping and I found a great blazer (unfortunately, not on sale) at Banana Republic. I did put it on hold but I won't be going to pick it up. We walked into various boutique stores and walked out laughing at the funny sales people with their ridiculous prices. And the movie was fantastic, I highly reccomend it. Cate Blanchett, as always, is a incredible actress and carries the movie well.

It was a wonderful day with my guy and I'm looking forward to the days to come.

An oldie but a goodie

From an older post...

Baking Cookies (with your cat)
1. Look in cookbook for cookie recipe
2. Get cup of coffee.
3. Get cat off of cookbook.
4. Find that special recipe.
5 . Get cat's nose out of coffee cup
6. Go to fridge and get eggs.7. Get dry ingredients from cupboard.
8. Break eggs in small bowl.
9. Sift dry ingredients in large bowl.
10. Answer the phone.
11. Cat ate eggs; get more from fridge.
12. Get cat out of flour bowl and dust cat off.
13. Get Band-Aids for scratches on hands.
14. Throw flour out and get more.
15. Preheat oven for cookies.
16. Looking at cat & wanting to bake cat now. Cat runs for cover into bathroom.
17. Flour the counter to roll out cookie dough.
18. Big crash in bathroom; run to see what happened.
19. Cat has TP all over floor; stuff spilled and knocked over on top of bathroom counter.
20. Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl.
21. Can sense cat is angry.
22. Take cat out of toilet to dry cat off.
23. Get bandages to cover more scratches on arms and legs.
24. Cleanup bathroom.
25. Hear a thump in kitchen ...Oh Golly ... now what?
26. Get cat off floured counter in kitchen.
27. Try to pick out cat hairs from flour.
28. Step on cat's tail and get bitten.
29. Get coat, car keys, and go to store to buy cookies!!!

TGIF

Seriously. It's this week. It's gone by SO SLOWLY and it's almost over. Of course, today is not without it's challenges.

I woke up feeling pretty good, more awake than I have in weeks and cosidering I had a dream about my favorite singer, I thought the day might be off to a good start. I started the car and popped in one of my favorite CD's, cranked up the volume, and sang along all the way to work. I noticed on my way to work that I was behind a friend of mine who works in the same building which was hilarious because she didn't even see me until we pulled into the building.

I got to work and someone yelled that the voicemail wasn't working. Again. After I spent an hour on the phone with the guy from the phone company installing some new "thing" in our motherboard (mothership is more like it). Now we can't transfer calls to voicemail or even check our voicemail. Not even the main VM, which is the most important one. So I have spent 2 hours this morning dealing with the phone guy again, and he can't fix the problem. He's going to to have to send someone out to work on the system BUT no one is available to come out to the office until Monday. Lucky me. I get to take messages all frickin day long.

Again I say TGIF. At least we have a fun weekend planned and I'm looking forward to it!

Old faces

I checked out a friend's blog today and enjoyed reading her post about the Community Garden Event in Tacoma. Then I decided to check out some of the other Tacoma-based blogs linked to her site. Lo and behold, the first one I click on belongs to a woman I went to college with. Both she and her husband were active in the theater department at PLU. I couldn't believe it. I scroll down to find picutres at PLU Homecoming with other people I had gone to school with. It struck me that the internet is random and odd, but at times it can be rather small and make you feel old and wistful!

I made a doctor's appointment for Monday. I'll keep you posted on what the doctor says.

Sleep-deprived

Ok, we don't have kids. We don't have yardwork to do, and no one is going to school for the time being. Our life is pretty simple, after all it is just the two of us and 3 crazy cats.

But I seem to have a weird sleep schedule and I don't know what to attribute it to. I have overly colorful, extrememly vivid dreams, and often wake up once an hour but go right back to sleep. I wake up exhausted, whether having slept a full 8 hours or a measley 5 or 6 hours. Matt suggested I start working out when I get home to get my juices flowing. It's not a bad idea - I know Cindy does it and she says it releases quite a bit of stress from her day and seems like a good way to spend that transition time between work self and home self.

I do know that I need to see the doctor about these horrible allergies that I have (which could be a small cold, who knows, it's hard to tell the difference) that lead to me not being able to breathe properly...and maybe I'll bring up the subject of sleeping pills while I'm at it.

Cooking for my man

I went out with my dear friend Mary today. We went to lunch and then saw a play that our friend Elizabeth was in. I came home to find the place dark and empty. I called Matt to find out where he was and apparently he had gotten locked out! He proceded to tell me that he had fainted today, to which I immediately got into mother-mode and said that he should come home. He said he would, he'd be home in 5 minutes.

Well I was wrestling all day what to make for dinner since I had fixings for 3 recipes, and after he told me he fainted, I immediately chose "Flash Fajitas" as I thought he could use a little red meat. Within 20 minutes, we were watching re-runs of the Daily Show and chowing down.

I hope you enjoy them as much as we did!

Flash Fajitas
Real Simple

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 lb. skirt steak, cut into thirds
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 large yellow onion, thinly sliced
1 large bell pepper (any color), thinly sliced
1 12-count package corn or small flour tortillas
Sour cream, salsa, and guacamole for serving

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season the steak with 1/4 teaspoon of the salt and pepper. Cook for 3 minutes. Turn and move the sides of the skillet. Add the onion and cook, sitrring occasionally, for 2 minutes. Add the bell pepper, season with the remaining salt, and cook until the vegetables are softened and the steak is medium-rare, 3 to 4 minutes more. Transfer the onion and bell pepper to a bowl. Transfer the steak to a cutting board. Place the tortillas in a microwave and warm on high for 1 1/2 minutes. SLice the steak and serve with the onion, bell pepper, sour cream, salsa, and guacamole.

Back to school?

I always thought I would go back to school for theater. I love love LOVE to act on the stage. The rehearsal process is always fun because not only do I get to create and learn about my character, I also get to know my fellow cast members and make new friends. I love being on stage, the joy of creating a new world that I get to bring to the audience for just a few hours, and the rush of happiness as I go out for curtain call and they give our cast a standing ovation! It is the greatest feeling in the world to me, and I miss it terribly.

So why don't I want to go to school for acting?

I finally came to a realization about this subjet last night while talking to Cindy. I made the decision awhile ago that I did not want the lifestyle of an actress. When you're just starting out, there's a lot of money that you have to spend for training, headshots, mailings (that you generally send out yourself), stamps, and on top of that cost of daily living. And while I have many friends who are actors/actresses and are doing their best to make a living at it, the late nights, the cost, the lifestyle is not something I desire. One of us in this business is enough, and I'm ok with that. I would rather keep acting as a hobby, audition for the plays that have characters that I can relate to and want to learn more about.

Of course, every play in this city is treated like a jumping board for those who want to act in film. It's incredibly comepetive and each person is better than the next. The one play I did audition for a few years ago completely backfired. I was terribly nervous and shaking, BUT I rocked my monologue! Then when it came to the group audition I didn't know what to do and the other actors just outshined me. While I was waiting in the hall, I came to find that they all knew each other and had all this history, which was evident when they all got on stage.

I didn't get a call as to whether I got a part in the play or not, which was fine. An audition is like a job interview. Just going can tell you quite a bit about the director, their crew, and who they want to work with. It would have been a group of aspiring, young actresses full of gossip and drama which is not what I want to invest my time in (imagine that, drama among actors!). I seek community theater, people from the same area who want to bring arts and stories to their neighbors, to take them away into another world, even for just a few hours.

So with all of this going through my head, Matt and I were on the way to my work this morning, listening to NPR. I love NPR and the stories that they tell. Every time I tune in, I hear someone new telling their stories, and it fascinates me. So far, I've heard Sara Tavares, Jimmy Carter, Stephen Colbert, and this morning was a new band called Band of Horses. It suddenly dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, when the time is right, I could go to school for journalism. I'm not really into the news (more like the headlines) but I love reading and listening to people's stories. I haven't felt this inspired in awhile, and now I want to go look on line to look at creative writing and journalism programs. :)

I wish...

...that I wasn't a perfectionist. My job would be easier and I wouldn't make stupid mistakes. I need to slow down and process information before moving on to the next step.

...that I was outside. Or at least had a window in my office. I can't even see the sun!

...that I was 30 which would mean that I would be going to NYC soon.

...that it was November so that Matt and I would be in wine country.

...that I could instantly drop those last 15 pounds instead of being so uber careful about what I eat, how much, and having to find an exercise plan that I'll actually stick to.

...that it was Thursday which means game night and also that the weekend is almost here.

...that it was time to go home, but alas! An hour and a half to go!