Just haven't felt like blogging

I come up with my best blog posts in the car, but unfortunately I don't get home in time to remember them. And when I am inspired, the blinking cursor and blank white screen are intimidating enough to make me want to run away screaming. You know me, my life is an open book and I don't want to give just little tidbits. But to go into detail about all the emotional draining shtuff, to put it into writing and have it permanently published on the Internets for all too see...isn't Facebook public enough?

March was just a weird month and I'm glad it's over.

Matt is coming home on Wednesday Morning! YEAH!! :) When he does come home, it will have been 7 weeks and 1 day since he left back in February.

I am working on a future blog post about all the things I will miss about L.A. when we finally move (and we have no idea when that will be, no house as of yet).

It's raining right now, thank goodness. We really need it!

Addicted to the show DEXTER. It's so creepy, and yet I can't bring myself to stop watching. That's good TV.

It was an interesting Easter this year, especially with the earthquake. It really messed with my equilibrium, I felt nauseated and dizzy. Still do when I read the news reports. But there's no damage here. We're fine, thank goodness. Hopefully that isn't an indication of what's to come. Hopefully that was it.

Did I mention I know over 10 women who are pregnant or gave birth already? And it's only April! Crazyness!

It's a better day...a little better...

It's the nights that are the hardest. And it hit me yesterday why I'm really struggling with all of this.

He's a writer, yes? He works best from home which means he's home all the time. And while it would be nice to have a dining room table now and then, for the most part, it's a huge comfort just being around him. But now? All his stuff his gone. His "desk" is cleared off, so many of his clothes are missing from the closet, and little things are missing from the medicine cabinet. It's weird and I really don't like it. It's quiet all the time, and I actually miss having cable so I can have some background noise to keep me from feeling so alone.

Yes, Dahli, I must keep my chin up. Nine (now eight) days are close by, and I'll push through. Thanks Emilie and KT for your comments, to Paige for checking in on me, and to Pastor Sue for offering to keep me company. I have an awesome support network. The best of friends.

You guys are awesome.

So much to say!

But I don't have time or the energy, frankly, to go over it in detail, so here's some highlights:

-Matt lost his job at Epic Level due to funding issues;

-Matt's grandfather died so we're heading up to Olympia tomorrow for the funeral;

-Crazy cat had dental surgery and has recovered beautifully;

-In-laws are pretty well settled in their new place in Turkey, only to fly back to WA days later;

-Both of my jobs are insane, but that's the way I like it.  Perhaps there's a raise in my future;

-8th wedding anniversary is on 10/20.  Where has the time GONE?  Oh, who cares, it gives us an excuse to go to the Oregon Coast and live it up for a few days.  

-I joined Matt's church.  I think.

-Grateful for my awesome girlfriends who have helped me keep my sanity over these last few nutty months.

-Have gotten addicted to the following shows:  Weeds, Drop Dead Diva, Army Wives, Project Runway, and desperately waiting for LOST season 5 to come out on DVD.

-Oh, and did I mention that my picture (and Paige's too) got in the LA Times?  See picture number 16!  

I heart Stephen Colbert

Goodbye, Golden Girl

Estelle Getty

July 25, 1923 - July 22, 2008

As many of you know, one of my favorite shows is The Golden Girls, and Estelle played the wise-cracking Sophia with wit, charm, and understanding. She will be greatly missed.

New beginnings

I keep trying to figure out what to say on this blog. Seems that I always think of really good, introspective, and interesting posts in the car, at work, before I go to sleep, on a hike, anywhere that I'm not able to blog. Of course, by the time I sit down, all of this goes out of my head. So, I'm thinking about starting a new one. Not yet, but it just seems about time. This blog was started to keep family & friends up to date, to relish in the new city, to experience being a grad-student-wife, to explore the city, amongst other adventures.

But see, we're cheap. And homebodies. So to really give purpose to this blog, I need to take more pictures. Reading previous posts, this should be called "Camille's Adventures". It was our blog, kind of, and now that Matt's made his own and now he's done with school...I don't know. I know that if we do move to the Central Coast (not anytime soon, it's a dream of ours), I have a great a idea for a blog: "The SLO Life" (SLO = San Luis Obispo). And I've thought about starting it up anyway because we go up there so often. But that's all I need. Another website to update. I can't even keep up with this one! :)

I feel as though I am in a place of transition. I think part of it has to do with turning 30 this summer, and I'm really excited. But it also has to do with the fact that I finally quit my job!! Yes, I gave notice on Monday and it felt really good. I walked out of my boss's office and couldn't help but smile a big toothy grin. It's time to move on. Personnel issues aside, I've been an Admin for 10 years now, and I need to find some other way to make a living. Don't worry, my fiscal friends. I've got a plan and it's going into place.

Big news this summer: The latest film from Dead Gentlemen, Dorkness Rising (aka Gamers 2) has finally gotten distribution! You can pre-order the DVD here, and we'll be releasing it at GenCon this summer. Read Matt's announcement. I'm so proud of him, and the rest of DG. It's about frickin time! Matt also has talks with some cable companies (big-time networks) about a couple of shows he's written. I can't say anything more except to say THIS COULD BE HUGE. But this is L.A. We won't hold our breath.

Tomorrow we are going out to a trendy bar downtown with friends Kari and Paul who are getting hitched this fall. If I remember, I will bring my camera and attempt to have more adventures that speak to this amazingly wonderful but odd and crazy city that we live in.

Hanging in there

Sorry for the bullet list, but I just can't think right now.

• 3 cats on 3 different kinds of food. PJ on wet food because he has bad teeth, needs to gain weight, never mind he's also on inflammatory meds for his chronic pain in is vertabrae that fused together; Quinn needs a high fiber diet and has to lose weight; Bean is still young and healthy...how are we supposed to manage this, especially when we're out of town for the next 2 weekends?? Kind of panicking here.
• Work is very hectic and busy, but at least the days go by fast. I barely have time or energy to blog these days.
• We're going to Solvang this weekend which will be a welcome escape from the busy city. Next weekend I'm taking a few days off work and we're heading up to Napa for Matt's cousin's wedding. We're sharing a hotel room with his aunt and uncle from Washington which I'm looking forward to as we hardly ever get to spend time with them.
• Katie went to her senior prom a few weeks ago, still waiting for pictures...
• Must get back to work, loads to do, but at least now we're moved in.
• Oh, and I'm back under 160 pounds! Just 15 to my goal...
• One more thing - Did anyone else watch the season finale of LOST last night? WOW.

...can't think of anything snazzy...

Last night though Matt and I were oh so snazzy. We went to one of our favorite restaurants last night, Hamburger Hamlet. Now, I've lost some weight due to portion control but last night I stressed-ate like nobody's business! A glass of wine, the Marilyn Burger with a turkey patty, french fries, and caramel apple cobbler. I was so incredibly and happily full last night. I wasn't even hungry this morning. People brought in donuts and bagels this morning - I'm not even going into the kitchen - I don't need to be tempted.

I love Thursday evenings after counseling. Matt and I see individual counselors (he goes 2x/month, I go every week - guess I'm more screwed up, hahaha :) and then we go to dinner afterwards. We are so open, our walls are down, and we just talk. And talk some more. Then we laugh, and giggle, and get weird looks from tables nearby. But I don't care because it's that time with your spouse where you are in your own world, it's just the 2 of you, and it feels absolutely amazing. Then we go home and get LOST for an hour...by the way, did anyone see last night's episode? What did you think? I love where the show is going now! My dear aunt Sharon is having foot surgery and is bed-ridden for the next three days, so I sent her seasons 1 & 2. I hope she likes it.

Anyway, moving on...

You must must check out Jenny's blog for the most adorable videos of her son, Patrick. I'm in love with that kid, and I haven't even met him yet.

And Cindy got a job!! Yes!!! Congratulations!!!

Matt is feeling better, thank goodness. The combination of ear drops and anti-biotics are helping his right ear hear again, which is helpful. Not so much for him, though, because now he can't use the excuse "I can't hear you...." and then I hear a little chuckle. Nice try, hon! :)

Two weeks from today, Matt and I are heading off to Nipomo to stay at our favorite bed and breakfast for a weekend of "I don't care if we can't afford it, we need some time alone outside of the city." I. Can't. Wait. And instead of spending a ton of cash on wine, we're going to explore the region a bit more, maybe get in a few hikes, and try some new restaurants.

The last weekend in March, my Dad and my sister will be in town. I even got that Friday off so we can head to Catalina for a night! We're staying here and I think a massage or a body wrap might be in the near future...

Weekend Update

This weekend was really fun, and we spent the majority of it with our friends Cindy, Don, Katy, and Jeremy.

We got off to a very healthy and active start with us girls heading off to the Paramount Ranch in the Santa Monica Mountains for a hike with the doggies. When the dogs got out of the car, the first 10 minutes or so were spent picking up "presents" they left in the parking lot. We headed off to the trail head and came across the set from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman which was really neat except they had all the windows boarded up, which was a bummer (another bummer is no pictures - I forgot mine and Cindy's batteries died). But we moved on and found a trail head...

...that lead to a bunch of dead trees to walk through. Then Katy tood Max off his leash and he bounded off up in to the hills where we couldn't see him! Katy called him back and instead of going around the fallen dead tree, he decided to climb through all the branches. He was so cute trying to figure out how to get back to "the boss", scuffling around and finally he got a determined look and just dove right under it, I wish we had a video of it, he was so much fun to watch.

During the hike I got quite a few lessons on how to be a doggie mommy, for when Matt and I get a dog someday (We dream of a Corgie named Parva), and got some great tips from them on how to walk a dog the "Dog Whisperer" way, but it didn't quite work. Cordy and Seamus didn't recognize me as a boss so I took the backpack from Cindy and let her walk the doggies, which worked out well for all of us. When I was walking them, it felt like they were walking me!

After the hike, we piled in the car only to discover that Max had ticks! The off-road doggie had picked up a few friends along the way and unfortunately one buried himself near his leg. So we pulled over at a fire station and got some oil and matches...to make a long story short that didn't work and we got the thing out at Don and Cindy's place, only to discover that Cordy had one too! I was really impressed with the level of calmness that Cindy and Katy had while handling Max and Cordy.

Saturday night we got together at Don and Cindy's house for a night of gaming as Cindy wanted to try out Teensy (sp?), her new charater for the campaign. As it turned out, Matt hadn't created his character fully, but that was ok, and we had a great time implementing all these charater's peronalities...tonight the story continues and I'm really looking forward to it.

Sunday I ran errands and we hosted the gang over for the AFC championship, rooting for San Diego (and they lost, of course). Some of us were not interested in football so we played some card games. By halftime, it was obvious that the Patriots would win so we settled for watching some TiVoed episodes of South Park, American Dad, etc. It was really fun to host, especially since Jeremy and Katy hadn't seen our place before. Bean offered additonal entertainment as she has that cone around her neck due to her recent surgery.

This weekend Paige/Stephanie is in town and I can't wait to see her. I'm not sure what we're going to do, but if it's not pouring I think a day trip to the beach will be involved.

Frickin Money

That's the nice way of saying it.

With the writer's strike still going strong and the cost of living skyrocketing, Matt and I are having to get creative on how to save money every month. Now we've had these conversations before and while we can be good for a few weeks or even a few months, something always happens where we fall off the wagon and then scramble to get back on.

Writers Strike = hiring freeze. Golden Globes = loss of $10 million for our city, and that's just one day. Everyone is affected, whether you're in the industry or not. It's not happy. And not. getting. better.

With that, we've decided to cut out some things:

1. (Sorry Jenny) Bikram Yoga. I. love. it. But it's costly and frankly I don't go enough to offset the cost. I will use up the sessions that I have left (and no, I didn't go on Sunday, but plan to go on Friday), and then find free things to do until we have the budget for yoga.

2. Cable. GASP! I know. I'm so excited! But there's hardly any new shows coming up in the next few months, and honestly, all of them are streamed on the web (which we'll do only if the show is a must see) or we can get them from Netflix on DVD. I am thrilled because I am a re-run junkie and this will free up my time to live life and get things done around the home. I have no self-control when it comes to TV, but when it comes to movies, I must make the time to sit for 2 hours. It's weird.

3. Eating out. Once a week, perhaps twice at the most. Though I did hear a report on NPR that the cost of eating in is getting so expensive it's almost the same as eating out. However, there is a certain feeling of satisfaction when cooking a meal for our little family. Of course, my weakness will always be eating out at lunchtime because I absolutely must leave the office. The phones drive me nuts.

With constant communication and support from one another, I know Matt and I can do this! :)

What I love right now

My husband who has been very understanding of my moodiness and is there to calm me down and help me figure out what is really going on.

My friends who have offered to listen so that I can unload my brain, shuffle things around, and get everything organized in my head.

My therapist who has encouraged me to come to therapy once a week for the next 4 weeks to help deal with my anger, sadness, and general frustration. I told her it's going to be hard to tear down this wall that I've built up and that as I was telling her that, I could feel my brain going "NO! NO! Stop talking! Don't go there!"

Blogging. It helps me open up to you, my friends and family, and let you know how I'm doing without having to really "say" anything.

Terrible movies. I mean REALLY BAD movies. Last night I saw "Showgirls" with Elizabeth Berkley. UGH. I especially enjoyed the fake bras around the boobs. I couldn't even watch the last 10 minutes because I found the last 10 minutes a show I hadn't been watching much more interesting. And I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

The Actors Studio. On Tivo, I have saved the following episodes: The Simpsons, Robin Williams, and Alec Baldwin. Anytime I need a laugh, I just push play and almost instantly I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.

New season of Project Runway starts November 14!! I'm so so excited!

LOST

1. Is Charlie really dead?

2. With the ending between Jack and Kate, is next season really what Ben eluded to? The beginning of the end?

3. Who is Naomi?

4. Why do we have to wait 6 months for the next new episode? I'm going to go crazy!!!