Sunday, January 15, 2012

Annoyed

Preface: If you are going to comment, I ask for constructive criticism or support, nothing sarcastic or otherwise. Thank you. :)

I'm annoyed when I hear the quote "You had better get all the sleep you can before the baby comes!" Or, "All that insomnia is going to prepare you for baby!" I can't believe I said this to my friends (and I'm so sorry I did) because I would love nothing better than to sleep through the night. But my bladder is working overtime for 2, and never mind the fact that at 28 weeks, it's difficult to get comfortable with my growing belly...and I still have a long way to go. (Hello, future best friend - body pillow.) Sometimes I wake up sniffly and sneezing. Sometimes I wake up freaked out and harried, wondering if baby boy is ok. Or it's that I'm 11 weeks from my due date and there's still so much to do. Or how we're going to make this work financially. How this will change family dynamics. Everything.

The melt-downs have arrived in full force. Hubby calls them "emotionally charged events", which is true. Things that normally don't bother me turn me into a tantrum throwing 2 year old, or a weepy 14 year old girl who's boyfriend dumped her and suddenly my life is over. I had two or three in the last week. Usually they happen at 1am, or at dinner, when Hubby and I haven't seen each other all day. And while I'm surrounded by an amazing community of girlfriends, family, mamas and non-mamas, (and let's not forget my incredible husband), there are moments/days where I feel utterly alone and overwhelmed.

People have been asking for pictures of my pregnant self on Facebook. Friends who are also pregnant have posted pictures on FB, and that's good for them. I'll tell you what. If you want one, email me or text me and I'll send it to you. I don't really want to share my pregnant self on Facebook. I can't explain why, it's just me (though I'm sure there will be some after the baby showers next month) and my strange self. I feel fat and unattractive, and that's not the best time to post photos!

"Oh my god, you've gotten HUGE!!" (again, I apologize to my friends who I've said this to) My uncle said this to me at a family gathering, and I said "NO. My SON has gotten bigger. Not me. Please, know the difference." This comes from my 14 year old ballet dancing self, and with that comes major body issues. And that is a subject for another blog post.

4 comments:

In the Boonies Mama said...

With Colten I could hardly sleep more then two hours because my brain was working overtime on every problem in the world. My doc said to take Benadryl or Unison to help turn off my brain and be able to get some rest. You'll start having fewer melt downs once your brain isn't worn out. You might try something and see if it helps.

Crafty Beth said...

My husband called my body pillow the surrogate husband during my pregnancies :) And one of the main reasons we moved while I was pregnant with number two was the lack of a bathroom on the same floor as my bedroom--I was so tired of those clumsy trips down the stairs in the middle of the night!

onefootonshore said...

1) You are beautiful. Always have been, are now, and always will be.
2) Facebook makes it too easy for everyone we know to expect "full access" to our lives... which comes to encompass our emotional states and our reactions to the world and our self image. Keep whatever you want private, and just know we will all be happy to share in whatever you feel confident in passing along.
3) A piece of wisdom from our friends in Chinook I had to repeat often, and still do, when the husband is a super easy dumping ground for emotions: "We are on the same team. We are on the same side. We both want everything to be ok."
4) I love you!

onefootonshore said...

1) You are beautiful. Always have been, are now, and always will be.
2) Facebook makes it too easy for everyone we know to expect "full access" to our lives... which comes to encompass our emotional states and our reactions to the world and our self image. Keep whatever you want private, and just know we will all be happy to share in whatever you feel confident in passing along.
3) A piece of wisdom from our friends in Chinook I had to repeat often, and still do, when the husband is a super easy dumping ground for emotions: "We are on the same team. We are on the same side. We both want everything to be ok."
4) I love you!