How do I love thee?

Oh let me count the ways...If only I could afford you...

Back to "normal"

I have another acupuncture appointment tomorrow. I can't deal with myself like this. I need to sleep, and I need this whole house buying/financing business to just be done. Why can't my life be like that movie "Click" for the next two weeks?

I'm doing my best to stay positive. Today I'm home from work as tears don't really help with accounting and data entry.

Fingers crossed for a better and happier blog entry tomorrow.

Ahhh, relief

So for those of you who have been following my FB status updates, it's safe to say that the last week I've been stressed out beyond belief, my anxiety reaching a peak level that has been keeping me up all night, my heart racing fervently and my brain unable to shut off for at least 6 hours. I was exercising, only drinking one or two cups of tea a day, no more soda, really watching what I ate (when I felt like eating). I have a few more gray hairs on the sides of my temples, the wrinkles under my eyes were more pronounced, and I was negative and going crazy. Chiropractic wasn't helping either, and I wasn't sure that a massage would do the trick.

So I made an acupuncture appointment.

I have only had acupuncture once, nearly 4 years ago when Mom was dying, and the acupuncturist lovingly came to my parent's house to treat Dad, Katie, and I. I was a little hesitant...I mean, how are needles placed on certain areas of my body supposed to help me relax? Well, a few in my toes, and a couple in my ears, and BAM. Out like a light for 20 minutes. It's still the best cat nap I've ever had.

I had put a call into the acupuncturist about a month ago to see if my insurance would cover it, and while I swear I never got the message, she said she called me back and said it did...ok, fine. So I called last week to set up an initial appointment, and she had an opening for an hour on Tuesday, could I make it? Yes, I said, and I was hopeful that relief was in my future. I wasn't sure how much longer I could be in this over-heightened state of anxiety (I'm not sure I can even describe to you, dear followers how bad this felt and how crazy I've been).

So yesterday I went in, only to find out that the woman I had set up an appointment with wasn't there and I was meeting with the new one. Wha? Huh? Oooohhhhkaaaayyy, sure. I had made an appointment with the other woman because she came so highly recommended, but sure, I'll play along. I'm here for relief, and she's going to help me. Let's do this. Oh, and we have a cancellation, and you're a new patient. Might I take some extra time, and poke/prod you for awhile longer today? Sure thing, Missy, it's my day off.

Two hours later, I was on my way home. Tired. Exhausted. Chi reset. Nervous system back in balance, and Chinese herbal pills on the way next week to help curb my anxiety/insomnia/stress. For the first time in WEEKS, I could think of the problems and not feel the anxious frenzy come about. My heart wasn't anxiously palpitating away, ready to burst out of my chest. I could finally think clearly, but first...a nap...I could hardly keep my eyes open after lunch and had the most wonderful long nap. Acupuncture is exactly what my body needed. I swear, it was better than therapy...no tears involved...just a little needle phobia.

Toady, I'm tired. I didn't get to sleep until after 3am, but it was because my nap was so rejuvenating. I wasn't stressing over things, I was just pleasantly rested. And I happen to know that without my lovely appointment today, I'd be a frenzy of stress and anxiety, in addition to loading myself up with caffeine and chocolate.

How else do I know I'm doing so well? When Alex, our front desk admin, asked me how I was doing this morning when I walked in, I said "great" without even thinking about a response. That's a very good sign, maybe even a great sign, that this issue (which still isn't solved, but will be by Friday/Saturday) isn't going to get the best of me anymore.

P.S. I have another appointment next Thursday. Why let insurance go to waste?

Escrow!

It's official!

We're in escrow for a house in Tacoma, WA.

More details to come after the inspection next Sunday, 4/25.

Late nights

You know what I can't stand? When I exhaust myself by working out, staying up throughout the day, getting stuff done, being fairly productive. It's night time, I'm tired, and I lay my head down to go to sleep, and BAM! I'm wide awake. My brain is suddenly not distracted by pretty things like Gmail and Facebook. Now we have time to WORRY and STRESS over things that are either in motion or more than likely, over things that have not happened yet. Yes, yours truly loves to fret over future events that may or may not occur. Lovely, eh? Bet you thought I was crazy before...man you don't even know. Bless my husband, for he is a saint.

Susan G Komen 3-day walk

I'm just putting this out there. I really want to go this year, finally feel like I'm ready to not be sad but be empowered instead. Does anyone have a team going or is anyone interested in putting one together? It's September 24-26, 2010 in Seattle.

Would really love to go. For Mom and for me.

As an added bonus, it will give me a fitness goal!

Anxiety

I am normally an anxious person. Especially when it comes to situation/places/things in general that I'm not familiar with. My heart races and my brain really can't focus on anything else. It's safe to say that I feel as though my heart is about to run right out of my chest and away from my crazy self. Deep breathing doesn't seem to help, and neither does caffeine.

On the other hand, I know I get anxious because I care. Because I want things to work out, not perfectly, but well enough so that I can move forward. Today, and perhaps the next few days, I'll feel this way. I see some serious exercising in my future. That seems to be about the only thing that can really calm me down when my anxiety is this bad.

Spring Greens

With Matt back in town, we go through our organic delivery box a little more quickly now, so a trip to the farmers market on the weekend is a great way to supplement fresh fruits and veggies that we have already gone through or didn't get.

Baby Bok Choy is now in season and abundant at the Sierra Madre market. When I saw it, I immediately thought of this recipe from Real Simple. I had tried it quite awhile ago, but thought I should give it another try. I'm sure glad I did! We served organic d'anjou pears on the side. A wonderful compliment.

Chicken and Bok Choy Stir-Fry

Serves 4

Hands-on Time: 15m

Total Time: 25m

Ingredients

• 1 cup long-grain white rice
• 1 tablespoon canola oil
• 4 6-ounce boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
• Kosher salt and black pepper
• 4 heads baby bok choy, quartered lengthwise
• 1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
• 1/4 cup store-bought barbecue sauce
• 4 scallions, thinly sliced

Directions

1. Cook the rice according to the package directions.

2. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season the chicken with ¼ teaspoon each salt and pepper and cook, tossing occasionally, until browned and cooked through, 4 to 6 minutes. Transfer to a plate.

3. Add the bok choy and ¼ cup water to the skillet. Cover and cook until the bok choy is just tender, 3 to 4 minutes.

4. In a small bowl, combine the soy sauce, barbecue sauce, and scallions. Add to the skillet and bring to a boil. Return the chicken to the skillet and cook, tossing, just until heated through, 1 to 2 minutes. Serve with the rice.

My hormones are yelling at me now...

The Hollywood Scene

Literally.

Went to a screening tonight. Didn't expect to get that close to Lauren Hutton, Demi Moore, and Ashton Kutcher. Didn't meet them, which is fine. That club was SO not my scene, and yet it was fascinating to watch everyone! I networked a little, and here's hoping that I didn't make a complete fool out of myself! :)

I had a great time. Some advil and water should help me sleep off that headache I might wake up with in the morning.

I think I'm going to regret blogging in this state. We'll see.

Matt is home

And right now, that's all that matters. :)

Just haven't felt like blogging

I come up with my best blog posts in the car, but unfortunately I don't get home in time to remember them. And when I am inspired, the blinking cursor and blank white screen are intimidating enough to make me want to run away screaming. You know me, my life is an open book and I don't want to give just little tidbits. But to go into detail about all the emotional draining shtuff, to put it into writing and have it permanently published on the Internets for all too see...isn't Facebook public enough?

March was just a weird month and I'm glad it's over.

Matt is coming home on Wednesday Morning! YEAH!! :) When he does come home, it will have been 7 weeks and 1 day since he left back in February.

I am working on a future blog post about all the things I will miss about L.A. when we finally move (and we have no idea when that will be, no house as of yet).

It's raining right now, thank goodness. We really need it!

Addicted to the show DEXTER. It's so creepy, and yet I can't bring myself to stop watching. That's good TV.

It was an interesting Easter this year, especially with the earthquake. It really messed with my equilibrium, I felt nauseated and dizzy. Still do when I read the news reports. But there's no damage here. We're fine, thank goodness. Hopefully that isn't an indication of what's to come. Hopefully that was it.

Did I mention I know over 10 women who are pregnant or gave birth already? And it's only April! Crazyness!