Saturday, August 23, 2008

B. w/ D.

Battle with depression.

I hate it. Usually I'm fine with everyday and so cut me off, why doesn't my phone get reception here, I am so sick of the heat...etc. But yesterday we got some bad news about one of Matt's projects. The network turned it down. It was going so well, it had gotten further than any other project in terms of almost getting a deal that would pay big bucks. But no, the one VP couldn't wrap the idea around his head and BAM! Dream shot down.

I tend to bounce back fairly quickly after getting news that hinders Matt's work, and gets him feeling like "What's the point." I can be positive and upbeat, and say "It's ok, baby, this isn't your fault, the big one is just around the corner." But this one hurt. It stings. I was the one who burst into tears when Matt gave me the news. I makes me think "What's the point?" I know we've been here for a few years and we've come so far already. However, it's times like these where we just want to toss in the towel and say "F--- it!" and move back to Washington with our tails between our legs.

We've come so far already, though, and to give up now would hurt even more. So we'll keep slugging along. But know that for the next few days, it's going to be hard to feel cheery when all I want to do is just burst into tears and have my own pity party on the outside.

1 comment:

Brie said...

Dammit. We were hoping for you guys, too.
It's a huge expectation to be the positive, cheery one for Matt, cheering him on when things go bad. That's what marriage is, of course. But don't feel bad about not being able to do it every time. When you can't, there's us. Family and friends who love you both very much. We're here to say "It's OK, guys, this isn't your fault, the big one is just around the corner". I know it hurts. Hopefully a big long distance hug will help you feel better.