Sunday, May 09, 2010


In times of reflection, where I think about where I've been and how much I've changed, I tend to get pretty wistful. Especially on days like today, where we celebreate mothers world-wide and while I am continually amazed and grateful that I had such a wonderful mother, and that I am surrounded by amazing mothers, friends and family alike, I can't help but feel, sometimes, that I got cheated, that our family was robbed. I don't stay there very long, but every once in awhile, it just hurts. Instead of pushing it away like I used to do, I deal with it for 5 minutes and move on, figuring that one meltdown is better than five (mother's day last year, anyone?). I also take this opportunity to celebrate my mom, who was an incredible woman and I was very lucky (and still am) to have her as my parent, as my guiding force in life.

I'm reflecting too, on the big changes ahead. We are gearing up to move back to Washington State, where we'll be first time home-owners, and with that comes more (albeit new and kind of scary) responsibilities. Something goes wrong? Breaks? We must fix it! Yardwork? We've it cut out for us. But I'm SO EXCITED to explore a new city, to strengthen new relationships, to start a new chapter in my life. To start auditioning again, to explore my home-state as a grown up, to live my life in a new way. I feel like I've taken California for granted, in a way, and become stagnant. I don't intend for that to happen as often up in Tacoma, except on bad days. And they'll happen, hopefully just not as frequently. Because I'll have a new house to slowly decorate and keep me busy (cleaning it will take longer, I imagine). And a commute. To Redmond. Blech. Anyone for carpooling?

I'd like to imagine, too, that moving to Washington will get me off my lazy bum and inspire me to exercise with friends by going for beautiful walks and exploring Dash Point State Park which is fairly close to my new home. I'll have a living room and a rec room, both with their own TV's (and fireplaces) to stretch out in should I want to do yoga at home. There's a few bikram studios nearby, and a lovely suburban neighborhood to explore. And if all else fails, there's the gym. But I'm hoping I will be able to avoid a monthly fee and figure out a routine that's adventurous and satisfying.

And let me just tell you that I'm THRILLED with our new kitchen! I plan on many more culinary adventures, and hope to have a grill fairly quickly after moving in so that we will have another avenue for cooking. And I'm thinking that in August we'll have a house-warming party tied in with my birthday. An end-of-summer bash. With a bbq. And maybe I'll have that firepit going in the backyard? You know me. I like hosting. So come on over for dinner, just let me know when you're on your way so I can set an extra place for you!

I'd like to end this with one of my favorite pictures of me and mom from when I was a kid:

Love you mom. I miss you every day. Thanks for everything, and continuing to help guide me from afar. xoxo


Cindy said...

What a great picture! I cannot believe you started off as a blonde!

Dahli said...

Love that photo!

Congratulation on finding The House! It looks perfect for you guys & you are going to have such an incredible time settling in & making it all your own!