Pictures from Cambria

For Cindy, a picture of Matt's Sandwich - turkey, pesto, goat cheese, roasted red peppers on fresh ciabatta bread.

We went for a hike at the start of sunset before dinner, and there were these cool driftwood benches. If we ever lived near the water, I'd love to have one in our yard.

Just up the hill outside of town. It's good to be on vacation and celebrating each other!

A panoramic shot of the beach just south of Cambria.

Wine, dessert, and my best friend.

For details on our trip, visit hubby's blog. He put our trip into words that I can't muster at the moment.

Interesting

Last night I had a tough time sleeping. I was anxious and upset for no particular reason but with Matt out of town and being all by myself with my thoughts, my mind just started racing. I had a terrible time falling asleep and once I did, I had this wonderful dream where I got to see an old friend. I dreamed that it was my mom's memorial service and there he was. I gave my friend a huge hug and felt so happy to see him. I promised that we'd catch up after the service but that for the time being, I had to greet other people who were arriving. To make a long story short, I didn't make it to the memorial for whatever reason and missed seeing my friend. I was so overwhelmed and upset that I just wailed. Cried so hard that I was heaving, huge alligator tears, and totally red in the face. But I did wake up feeling better, and I was thinking this morning how interesting it is that sometimes we do in our dreams what is so hard for us to do in real life.

Outta here!

We're just about to take off for our much needed anniversary trip to Cambria, CA. We are staying at a lovely little inn just across the street from Moonstone Beach. I cannot WAIT to get out of the city and away from the noise that comes from living just a mile from a major hospital. I've noticed a trend in the last few years...we always seem to schedule our getaways about every 6-8 months. We just need to rejuvinate and get re-foucsed, re-motivated. It's also nice to get away from the internet, tv, and the distractions of everyday life. We really do reconnect as a couple on these trips and that is definitely my favorite part.

(Thanks again to Matt and Jessica for watching our meows while we're away.)

Happy Anniversary!

Can you believe it, babe? Seven years tomorrow and we're still here. It's been an amazing, sometimes difficult (and yet interesting) journey, but I wouldn't be here with out you and I'm so blessed to have you in my life. Here's to another 7 years filled with you, me, and whatever (and whoever) awaits us! Love you always!!

xoxoxo

Wedding Weekend

Most of you know that my dear friend Kari M. got married last weekend and that I was in the wedding. It was great to see so many of my college girlfriends. Some I hadn't seen or spoken to since graduation while others I only see very intermittantly. Most of them had lived in the famed Wheeler house and one point or another. Then at the wedding, I got to see some more college friends and it just turned into a huge reunion.

The Bridesmaids: (l-r) Lewissa, myself, and Amanda.

Kari looked absolutely stunning and Paul looked good too. They had a very classy wedding day, full of smiles and positive energy, and I couldn't be happier for them! (More pictures to follow later on.)

The lovely bride and one of the mimes at the reception.

Progress

I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and support about my depression issues last week. It passed, as I knew it would. You all gave me some serious things to think about, specifically what moving on means to me and to have joy even in tears. Yesterday I opened that recipe box again to make chicken soup, and to my surprise, even though I felt sad, I remembered what Noreen had to say, which was to "eat up!" and it made me smile. So thank you, friends and family, for getting me through this. I'm on the other side now, and feeling good.

Don't vote!

Recipe Box

Just after Matt and I got married my Mom made me a recipe box. It's got index cards with her handwriting on them, and some of the recipe cards are written in her handwriting while others are printed. Going through this box is always an emotional ride, and Saturday morning (which was Matt's birthday) I decided to make Dutch Baby pancakes (see cooking blog for recipe). I have not picked up this box in quite sometime because I always wind up crying. Well I didn't cry on Saturday and I was pretty proud of myself. But when I push things aside, they always come back.

This afternoon I posted the above recipe and had to get the box out again. As I put it back, I came across her pie crust recipe, a classic one that brings back so many memories. She and my Grandma Elizabeth (her Mom) were famous in our family for their pie creations. I'm not so sure how I'll do as the years go by. Anyway, as I came to the last recipe, the tears just started falling down my cheeks. It was the recipe for Cabbage Rolls, which was my favorite dish. As the years went by and I moved away, she'd make it for me every time I came home. And even as I type I can't keep from crying.

You see, her birthday is tomorrow and I'm having such a difficult time moving on. Ever since the second anniversary passed in August, I just can't seem to shake this overwhelming feeling of sadness. Everything I do seems to bring her back into my mind. Maybe posting about this will help, maybe moving on would help. In some ways I feel like I have moved on and in other ways I feel stuck. There are moments such as these where it just hits you that this person, your loved one is GONE and they're never coming back. It just sucks...you know? I don't know how else to put it. Except that I miss her terribly and like a little girl, I just want my mom.

It only took me 5 hours...

But I got them! Thanks to Paige for driving me around. I had such fun perusing the mall with you!

It's hot today...

...among other things. Where did this muggy, humid, sticky weather come from? I mean it's October for pete's sakes. I guess I'm still a Northwest girl at heart because I expect wind and rain at any minute rather than nights where even a sheet at night is too much...when we have to keep the a/c on at night (and can I just say how grateful we are for central air conditioning right now). Hopefully it will cool down over the weekend as it is hubby's birthday and I want him to be comfortable doing whatever it is he wants to do.

At the moment I'm at Paige's place. We're going to have lunch and then go shoe shopping. She needs comfy "standing all day" shoes and I need a pair of shoes to match 2 dresses that look vastly different from each other. If I can find a deal, I'll get two pairs, but I'm pretty specific on the look, so if I can't find one I know I can find the other. As most of you know, Kari is getting married next weekend and I have a fabulous DVF dress that I snagged for an insane discount and it's perfect for the rehearsal dinner next Friday night. My bridesmaid's dress was also insanely cheap, and it's beautiful to boot. My initial plan is to buy a pair of pointy black shoes that will match both, but if I can swing it, I'd love to get a pair of cream colored pumps to go with my BM dress, while finding a pair of pointy black shoes to go with the DVF dress. We'll see what happens, and yes, after the wedding, I'll post pictures. It's sure to be a classy affair.

And last but certainly not least, Matt does have a job! I'm very proud of him and it's a really good fit. The hours aren't much and the pay isn't what we'd like, but he's got his foot in the door and that's what matters. You can read all about it here!