Or rather, joys of the DMV...
Luckily I got someone in WA who was incredibly helpful and knowledgeable. Very patient, answered all of my questions, and was very methodical in all the paperwork she had to fill out. To make a very long story short, my car's title was transferred to CA when we moved, and I have no documentation. Which means filling out a form to request a duplicate tilte and sending it to the CA DMV. Which means waiting 4 to 6 weeks for ONE piece of paper. Which means pay OVER ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS to Washington DMV for TEMPORARY PAPER PLATES so that I don't get pulled over for expired tabs.
So we wait. I marked on my Google calendar to call the CA DMV on 8/25 in case we haven't received the duplicate title by then. Something tells me we won't, and I'll be calling, only to be placed on hold for another 20 minutes.
It's been a long day. I'm going to go home now.