Friday, February 27, 2009

Breathe In, Breathe Out

I try to make a point of not talking about my job on the internets because I don't know who will see this, who is reading, etc. But let me make it known that there are times when I wish I didn't work from home, where I wish I was in an office. The distractions, the computer crashes, the fact we only have one computer and BOTH Matt and I work from home...Right now I'm unable to connect to our inventory database which is creating a huge backlog in my work. I feel useless and bored, waiting for my coworkers to get in touch with me. They are so busy and overwhelmd at the office, while I just sit here, trying to be proactive in creating layouts when I have minimal information to go on.

I need to be grateful to have a job in this day and age, grateful that my commute consists of going from my bedroom to the kitchen to the office, grateful that I have such a flexible schedule. But right now I'm frustrated, aggravated, and frankly, bored to tears. Depression starts to settle in, which makes me angry and more depressed. Depression leads to other thoughts that I'd rather not think about -- stupid comments I've made, Mom, Grandpa, and other stressful situations.

I just hate feeling useless. I have to move on from this. Create my own work somehow while my co-workers go about their day. But how? When I can't connect to the database??

Argh. I will move on. It's just going to take me a few days.

And we need to get another computer. This is getting ridiculous.

1 comment:

Cindy said...

Sounds like you need some girl time too! Looking forward to getting together this weekend.