Hanging in there

Sorry for the bullet list, but I just can't think right now.

• 3 cats on 3 different kinds of food. PJ on wet food because he has bad teeth, needs to gain weight, never mind he's also on inflammatory meds for his chronic pain in is vertabrae that fused together; Quinn needs a high fiber diet and has to lose weight; Bean is still young and healthy...how are we supposed to manage this, especially when we're out of town for the next 2 weekends?? Kind of panicking here.
• Work is very hectic and busy, but at least the days go by fast. I barely have time or energy to blog these days.
• We're going to Solvang this weekend which will be a welcome escape from the busy city. Next weekend I'm taking a few days off work and we're heading up to Napa for Matt's cousin's wedding. We're sharing a hotel room with his aunt and uncle from Washington which I'm looking forward to as we hardly ever get to spend time with them.
• Katie went to her senior prom a few weeks ago, still waiting for pictures...
• Must get back to work, loads to do, but at least now we're moved in.
• Oh, and I'm back under 160 pounds! Just 15 to my goal...
• One more thing - Did anyone else watch the season finale of LOST last night? WOW.

Who really enjoys moving?

We move our offices today. Finally! After 2 weeks of packing and putting up with co-workers asking me for stupid stuff, we'll finally be in our new office. It's really pretty, and I will have natural light coming into the reception area. Before and after pictures to be posted this weekend. Unfortunately I do have to go back to work tomorrow morning but it will just be me and my boss, and we're going to get things put away. It should only take a few hours. That way when I go back to work on Tuesday, I can be more organized and help everyone else get settled.

These last few weeks I've been blessed with very patient friends and family, and I have to single out my husband. What a trooper. I've not been easy to live with and I made a promise that after this weekend, I'd seriously work towards being happier and not bringing my job home with me. Part of that will entail 20-30 minutes of quiet time when I get home.

Um, I remember this but not really...

(Photo courtesy of Paige. l-r: Paige, Cindy, me, Mary)

I don't remember the last time I went roller skating. Well, now I do because a few weeks ago, Matt and joined Paige, Mary, Don, and Cindy at Wump Skate, a fantastic once-a-month themed roller skating event where you can skate to your hearts content. Read Paige's blog for more details. I can't wait to go back, it was a blast! My favorite part was when Matt said "Oh, I suck at skating, I'm going to have a horrible time." Yeah right. The man is a natural!

One of the most interesting parts of skating after at least 10 years of not putting on skates, was the feeling of my mind and body trying REALLY hard to remember what to do, and I'd have moments of bliss, where it was like muscle memory, and then I'd suddenly get out of it and nearly fall on my butt! It was awesome!

At peace...for a little while

Do you ever have those moments where you get fantastic news and then the right song comes blaring over your car speakers as you're driving home from work? That happened to me on my way home today. I can't share the good news just yet but it does have to do with a project that Matt's working on. After all this time, it feels like the both of us are on the cusp for this new decade, I feel like everything is slowly but surely finally coming together.

And it feels really good!

Overwhelmed and overloaded.

• Relieved though, because the landlord is going to take care of that awful cat-peed-on carpet in the next few weeks. Soon we'll be able to have friends over again. I can't wait! I have requsted that they treat the wood underneath, or let me do it. I don't want to have to go through this again.
• Our office is moving upstairs one week from today. I'm so sick of packing and it makes me cringe of the thought of moving into a house this fall or winter. No more boxes, please!
• Work is very stressful with all that I am responsible for - including packing up all the office files. Luckily we're getting all new furniture. I should lose about 5 pounds in the next week from the stress. Not the best way, but it will get me off the this plateau.
• Tonight Matt and I are going to see his favorite group play in West L.A. The Proclaimers - 500 miles anyone?
• Sunday includes a much needed bike ride in Venice Beach with Cindy and Mary. Anyone else want to come?
• And did I mention it's supposed to be 100 degrees for the next four days??? Thank goodness for central a/c.

Scientology

Well, what an interesting way to spend Mother's Day.

A friend of ours came to visit from Seattle. She has been part of my life for many years now, and she happened to be in LA overnight on her way back from a Mexican Cruise. She has been studying and learning about Scientology for many years now, and decided to stay overnight at the Celebrity Center, just 4 blocks from where we live. She invited us to brunch along with her godson, Chris, and that's just what we did today.

I spent the afternoon at a Scientology Center.

It wasn't what I was expecting, and yet in many ways, it was.

First off, the architecture was beautiful. All the rooms were very welcoming and open, beautiful furnishings, and the "ora", if you will, was very positive and calm. Everyone seemed friendly and welcoming.

BUT.

And that's a big BUT.

L. Ron Hubbard is everywhere. On nearly every wall, there's some sort of explanation about his methods, about dianetics, the difference between dianetics and scientology, and how one is extremely separate from the other. We got to try out an e-meter, which consists of the tour guide asking questions to help you pinpoint sources of stress and negativity in your life. I was very protective of myself the whole time, not really wanting to open up because I honestly felt like they were trying so hard to sell this to me. And I wasn't interested. Of course, I was happy that our friend wanted to share this with us, she was so happy and excited. And I guess that's really what the afternoon was all about - being open to something that I may not understand, and spending time with someone who has been very influential in my life.

Tired but having fun

This last week has been such a blur! Paige is here now and I think we've gotten together every single day this week. It's been so much fun having another Washingtoninan here, and showing her around town.

I realize that I haven't posted any adventure type photos for awhile, but believe me when I say the most hysterical video is on Cindy's blog right now. It sums up our wekeend celebrating Don's birthday.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I've been struggling with my thoughts and feelings this year quite a bit, trying to figure out if what I'm feeling now will ever go away, will ever slightly subside. Last night I had a "let go"crying fest, talking about my dreams where she had visited me, what I missed about her, and that it's just not fair that she's gone, trying to work through all of this. I also know that I have grown leaps and bounds from this, it is a profound experience, affecting all aspects of my life. Selfishly, I wish she was still here, but honestly, I am just relieved and happy that she is finally at peace. I would love to be at peace, but what I have discovered is that those of us who are left behind will find peace when it's time.

It's May?? Already??

Seems like just yesterday I posted this!

On Friday Don turned 30. And surprise! Nathan and Jessica, 2 very dear friends from Washington, showed up at lunch. Sneaky Cindy had arranged the the whole thing and watching Don's expression of "holy crap!" was really fun. We celebrated the whole weekend with lots of beer, barbecuing, gaming, guitar hero, and ended with seeing "Ironman" at Sherman Oaks ArcLight. Added bonus: Paige moved down! She got a roomshare in Valley Village just 1 block away from the community garden that Katy belongs to. It's a great place for Paige, and I'm just really excited that she's here.

Weekend plans include ripping up the carpet in the bathroom. There's enough cat pee to smell up the whole place and I'm just sick of it. So, I'm calling my landlord this week and letting him know that this is what we're doing, whether he likes it or not. I just can't take it anymore. First thing Saturday morning, I'm off to Home Depot to get a decent knife and suggestions on what to do. I also need to figure out if the floorboards are saturated, which they probably are, and how to get the smell out of them. And is it worth it to replace the carpet or just cover it with area rugs until we move? Ideas? Suggestions?

P.S. Lena, thank you for your email, you are so sweet. Sorry I haven't responded yet, but I will! xo

Mother's Day

I understand for the majority of people, this can be a happy holiday. Celebrating moms is a wonderful idea and concept. I don't want "rain on people's parade" so to speak, but I have the feeling that each year, this is going to be a difficult time for me because I'm constantly bombarded with commercials, email blasts, and even the drug stores scream "BUY MOM SOMETHING!!! DON'T FORGET HER!!!" I just find it really annoying that at times when I'm at peace, suddenly my personal space has been invaded and I can't help but flash back to what I'm missing. Granted, I have a wonderful support network: best husband ever, friends, and family. But nothing can ever replace her, and I don't appreciate being reminded when I don't want to talk about it.

Whoa!

As of April 23, I've been blogging for 3 years. I wonder how long I can keep this up? :)

It's difficult to go back to those early posts, mostly because there's stories in there about Mom, and what a hard time I was having when we first got here. But I love that our journey has been documented so thoroughly and it will be such an interesting story to share with family down the road.

Thanks for reading!

Not a happy camper

I've been sick since Wednesday thanks to that candidate who came in the the flu Tuesday night. I wanted to yell at her to go home, but instead I ran to the back offices as fast as I could. Too late. We've had so many people, staff and candidates, come in sick that I think my immune system just couldn't take it anymore. It started off with a touch of the flu and is now a head cold. While I'm feeling better I'm still not 100% and to top it off my sleeping pattern is totally off thanks to these 4 hour naps my body has been craving.

In addition, PJ is at the vet until Monday due to a high fever and a limp that the vet couldn't see (because PJ was so scared at the vet, he didn't really walk, he just did that cat hunker down thing). So while I'm a little freaked out about the cost of all this, I'm more concerend about my kitty and hoping that he's going to be ok. I honestly believe it's an infection due to the limp, but you never know. We just have to wait and see.

Happy Birthday, Aunt Constance!

She is turning the big 95 today!

Aunt Constance is forever labeled in our family as "The Pink Lady". Every year, at any event, she'd be dressed in a pink suit, or a lavender suit (with a pink scarf, or have a pink purse)...even at our annual apple cider pressings she'd be there in all her glory - makeup, scarf, pants suit, heels - washing apples with those attractive bright yellow dish gloves on. They almost seemed to appropriately accesorize her outfit.

She is my Mom's aunt, sister to my Grandpa Wesley (who died when I was in high school). I don't know her well, but every time we talk she's so honest and chatty. I adore her.

Unfortunately this year, she'll be spending her birthday in a skilled nursing facility recovering from a fall and knee surgery. She's due to be out of the hospital next month, so here's hoping she'll be able to celebrate in style, pink ribbons and all! :)

Don't feel like filing...so you get to read a survey!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My first name was found in a baby book. But my middle name is after my Grandma.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last week, over stupid stuff.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Most of the time. Wish it looked like Kari's though!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Do cats count?

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I'd like to think so...

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes, especially now that I've been with Matt so long (love you, sweetie! And no, I'm not being sarcastic. GEEEEZ!)

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Heck no!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Grown-up healthy stuff: Peace Cereal (maple). Kid stuff: Golden Grahams.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Mentally? For the most part, though I have times where I want to shut down. Physically? Working on it...

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Personal hygiene. (ditto)

15. RED OR PINK? Red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My weight. And the ability to just shrug off stupid people.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My mom. Everyday. All day. (again, ditto)

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Better yet, post it on your blog!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Gray pants, black shoes.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Chocolate cake from porto's! It's admin day! :)

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Hum of the lights...wow, it's super quiet.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Saltwater, hubby after he's bathed, clean doggies, good food, desert wine.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? A candidate calling in available.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I've never met Kate, but I think she sounds fabulous.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Nada. Baseball and soccer on occasion.

27. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown.

28. EYE COLOR? Brown.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yessirree!

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Fresh seafood, steak, pasta, yogurt, homemade raspberry jam.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. (ditto)

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? "21"

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black. (ditto)

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? In Seattle? Summer. In L.A.? All the other seasons. :)

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs!

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Lemon bars.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No idea. (ditto)

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No idea. (ditto)

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? "Economic Hit Man" is in the title...see list to the left.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Some dust.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Law And Order: SVU

42. FAVORITE SOUND? Matt's laughter!

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? A little bit of both.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Italy.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Ummm....

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Group Health Hospital, Seattle, WA

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Everybody's!

Snow?? In April??

I just got back last night from a quick weekend in Seattle. Dad turned 60 on Saturday and we had a great party. Tons of food, drink, and conversation to be had. I was so happy to be there and Dad had a great time, which was the whole point! Pictures to come so stay tuned...

And, yes, it snowed every day I was there. Sunday included snow, hail, and sunshine!

I slept great the whole weekend and even on the airplane, but last night stunk. It's going to be an interesting day at work as my fuse for this place is getting shorter and shorter every day...

Difficult conversations

I had to call my aunt due to my feelings about possible occurances at my Dad's birthday party this weekend. She gave me tough love, things that I didn't want to hear, but I knew she was right (I spoke to someone about this on Monday, you know who you are, sorry I didn't hear you then!). She said "Call your Dad, find out what's happening, and then talk to Katie. Keep me posted."

Well after all that, possible occurances are not happening but I did tell Dad some things that wer very very hard. And while I feel good about having "grown-up" a little bit more, every time that happens I feel a little lost and a little sad, like I've lost part of myself. I don't know that I can explain it very well. I do know that in the past six months my relationship with my Dad has grown leaps and bounds. But in some ways, I feel like retracting to the thought of "This wouldn't be happening if she were still alive." And I know that's a bad thought, because it will stunt my ability to move on. But it's only a thought, and I can overcome my thoughts/feelings and do what's right.

H.O.T.

High of 95 today, and probably at least 90 yesterday. Yesterday Don, Cindy, and I joined Jeremy and Katie at the Ren Faire. It was great to see one for the first time, and had fun watching the participants and all the parades. I think I would have enjoyed myself more had I not been wearing a black skirt and the fact it was frickin hot. Definitely need to plan a day at the faire when it's not 90 degrees.

Today, my allergies have kicked in. I took some loratadine and am feeling a little woozy. I've been a sneezing fool for the past few hours. Needless to say, my husband thinks I look quite sexy now with my red nose and puffy eyes.

I feel like yuck.

Presenting: An Island Dinner complete with music!

I wonder if we'll be allowed back in next time we visit?

Before!

(I just love this picture!)

Ah, like father, like daughter.

A picture of my dinner for Cindy.

...must...drink...

After!

And, the grand finales:

Commercial Interuption

(If you're interested to see what we were up to last weekend, check out Cindy's blog!)

• Bare Minerals: I LOVE this foundation! Holy cow, my skin looks like it's glowing and it's so easy to put on. I don't really need anything else with it, but at work when I put on the whole kit-n-kaboodle, I feel really confident, and love the way my skin feels.
• Lather's moisture mask: My skin is really thirsty these days, with the heat, the seasonal changes, and not drinking enough water. I found this moisture mask a few months ago (main store is in Pasadena) when my skin was going nuts. Now, I use it a few times a week and my skin feels so much better. Bonus: it smells good!
• Seacret body lotion: Great lotion, smells amazing, and isn't heavy or overly perfume-y (is that even a word?).
• MAC makeup: Thanks to Katy, Cindy and I had a chance to get made-over at The Grove on Sunday. My guy showed me how to apply everything, and it takes almost no time at all. The best part? It stays on all day and even better, I feel confident and Matt even likes it!

Some of my favorite shots from Catalina

Approach to Avalon!

My sister, the rock star.

(The yellow building in the back is our hotel.)

The view from our hotel room.

OMG! Dinner AND beer? It's too much!

(stay tuned for pics from dinner - it deserves recognition)

View from the pier.

Local homes.

Dad with a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Mom had designed a window just like it, and it's now in a church in West Seattle. This was a beautiful moment for our family.

The Catholic Church in Avalon. Beautiful!

A fresh start

I'm a bridesmaid in October. Both the bride and the groom have lost a significant amount of weight and I do NOT want to be the "chubby bridesmaid". So, with that in mind, last night was my last evening of pigging out. Today I start taking care of myself with motivation of being one of the 3 hot 'maids at that wedding! My plan? Yoga 2x a week for 20-30 minutes to start, followed by a hike or walk on the weekends for 20-30 minutes. My stamina is pretty week so I have to start slow, but it's better than nothing. And the best part of this plan? FREE! :)

Tonight Matt won't be home when I get home, so I'll be able to enjoy my Rodney Yee DVD in peace and quiet. Same with Wednesday evening. Then Saturday morning I'm up early early for a hike with Mary and Cindy. Finally I can see this great trail that Mary's been telling me about!