Ahhh, relief

So for those of you who have been following my FB status updates, it's safe to say that the last week I've been stressed out beyond belief, my anxiety reaching a peak level that has been keeping me up all night, my heart racing fervently and my brain unable to shut off for at least 6 hours. I was exercising, only drinking one or two cups of tea a day, no more soda, really watching what I ate (when I felt like eating). I have a few more gray hairs on the sides of my temples, the wrinkles under my eyes were more pronounced, and I was negative and going crazy. Chiropractic wasn't helping either, and I wasn't sure that a massage would do the trick.

So I made an acupuncture appointment.

I have only had acupuncture once, nearly 4 years ago when Mom was dying, and the acupuncturist lovingly came to my parent's house to treat Dad, Katie, and I. I was a little hesitant...I mean, how are needles placed on certain areas of my body supposed to help me relax? Well, a few in my toes, and a couple in my ears, and BAM. Out like a light for 20 minutes. It's still the best cat nap I've ever had.

I had put a call into the acupuncturist about a month ago to see if my insurance would cover it, and while I swear I never got the message, she said she called me back and said it did...ok, fine. So I called last week to set up an initial appointment, and she had an opening for an hour on Tuesday, could I make it? Yes, I said, and I was hopeful that relief was in my future. I wasn't sure how much longer I could be in this over-heightened state of anxiety (I'm not sure I can even describe to you, dear followers how bad this felt and how crazy I've been).

So yesterday I went in, only to find out that the woman I had set up an appointment with wasn't there and I was meeting with the new one. Wha? Huh? Oooohhhhkaaaayyy, sure. I had made an appointment with the other woman because she came so highly recommended, but sure, I'll play along. I'm here for relief, and she's going to help me. Let's do this. Oh, and we have a cancellation, and you're a new patient. Might I take some extra time, and poke/prod you for awhile longer today? Sure thing, Missy, it's my day off.

Two hours later, I was on my way home. Tired. Exhausted. Chi reset. Nervous system back in balance, and Chinese herbal pills on the way next week to help curb my anxiety/insomnia/stress. For the first time in WEEKS, I could think of the problems and not feel the anxious frenzy come about. My heart wasn't anxiously palpitating away, ready to burst out of my chest. I could finally think clearly, but first...a nap...I could hardly keep my eyes open after lunch and had the most wonderful long nap. Acupuncture is exactly what my body needed. I swear, it was better than therapy...no tears involved...just a little needle phobia.

Toady, I'm tired. I didn't get to sleep until after 3am, but it was because my nap was so rejuvenating. I wasn't stressing over things, I was just pleasantly rested. And I happen to know that without my lovely appointment today, I'd be a frenzy of stress and anxiety, in addition to loading myself up with caffeine and chocolate.

How else do I know I'm doing so well? When Alex, our front desk admin, asked me how I was doing this morning when I walked in, I said "great" without even thinking about a response. That's a very good sign, maybe even a great sign, that this issue (which still isn't solved, but will be by Friday/Saturday) isn't going to get the best of me anymore.

P.S. I have another appointment next Thursday. Why let insurance go to waste?

Real quick:

-Bootcamp is totally kicking my butt. Literally. I couldn't walk well on Friday but slowly over the weekend my legs have returned to normal. Just in time for Bootcamp this morning. :) At least this week the sessions are broken up a little bit. My motivation is how awesome I will look by the end of the 5 months, not to mention how amazing my muscle definition will be by Christmas. And I'll be healthy too. :)

-Gamers: Dorkness Rising will soon be available at Target! You can buy it now at Paizo, Amazon, and rent it from Netflix (where it has a very long wait). I'm so proud! Hopefully soon it will also be available at Blockbuster and/or Hollywood Video. Stay tuned for more updates.

Gotta go! I'm gonna be late!

A sign of things to come.

This last weekend was very hectic but very fun and we enjoyed every minute of it!

Friday we got up at the god awful hour of 5am and headed down to San Diego with Matt DeMille, Cindy, Don, Jeremy and Rian for Comic Con. The Gamers: Dorkness Rising at long last, screened! It was amazing, and I must say that my performance as "Barmaid" was enhanced by the big screen (if you see it you'll know what I'm talking about). It will be released next month at GenCon, but if you can't wait that long, see if you can get it from Netflix. You'll also be able to order it on Amazon (and according to Amazon, David Duchovny is in the movie). Holy s***, isn't that cool!? I'm so proud of Matt and the Dead Gentlemen. They've worked so hard and waited so long for this. Check out Matt's blog for details on our visit to Comic Con and more good news.

Saturday night I went out with Paige and Paige, and had a horrible hangover the next day.

Sunday night we went to a screening for The Empire Hotel, on which Matt has a writing credit. It was a fun premiere and I really enjoyed the little details in the pilot.

Saturday night we are finally going to see a concert at the Hollywood Bowl! Eric Idle, of Monty Python fame, is performing and we're going with a group of friends. We have nosebleed seats, but who cares. I can't wait!

Scientology

Well, what an interesting way to spend Mother's Day.

A friend of ours came to visit from Seattle. She has been part of my life for many years now, and she happened to be in LA overnight on her way back from a Mexican Cruise. She has been studying and learning about Scientology for many years now, and decided to stay overnight at the Celebrity Center, just 4 blocks from where we live. She invited us to brunch along with her godson, Chris, and that's just what we did today.

I spent the afternoon at a Scientology Center.

It wasn't what I was expecting, and yet in many ways, it was.

First off, the architecture was beautiful. All the rooms were very welcoming and open, beautiful furnishings, and the "ora", if you will, was very positive and calm. Everyone seemed friendly and welcoming.

BUT.

And that's a big BUT.

L. Ron Hubbard is everywhere. On nearly every wall, there's some sort of explanation about his methods, about dianetics, the difference between dianetics and scientology, and how one is extremely separate from the other. We got to try out an e-meter, which consists of the tour guide asking questions to help you pinpoint sources of stress and negativity in your life. I was very protective of myself the whole time, not really wanting to open up because I honestly felt like they were trying so hard to sell this to me. And I wasn't interested. Of course, I was happy that our friend wanted to share this with us, she was so happy and excited. And I guess that's really what the afternoon was all about - being open to something that I may not understand, and spending time with someone who has been very influential in my life.

Let the warm weather continue!

I love warm weather. Mind you, the L.A. summers are a bit much when the numbers hit the triple digits. But being able to be outside, at night, in MARCH, with no sweatshirt, is a feat I never thought would be possible!

Cindy came over the other night since our boys were out on the town with fellow DG Nathan. We cooked some fajitas and enjoyed a nice glass of wine on the rooftop deck. Pictures to come!

I really hope that the weather holds up because I'm venturing out to Pasadena to attend an outdoor spoken word event with Kari. Bonus - it's free! And since Kari is a Pasadena native, she knows good and inexpensive places for lunch.

1 week until our weekend getaway - I can't wait!

I have been working on losing weight - my exercise program is non existant at this point - BUT...guess what? When we moved here I weighed in somwhere around 180 pounds. Now I'm down to below 160!!! I honestly can't remember the last time I weighed under 160 since I got married. Maybe the first few years of marriage? I'm really thrilled that this is working and a regular exercise plan is in the works. Maybe? I hope. But progress is progress no matter how you look at it, and I'm way excited! :)

What the eff?

What is up with the cost of food these days? My god, I spent $88 at the store, and came home with 4 paper bags, barely full. Granted, I got healthy-good-for-us-food, and I think it's really disturbing that good, nutritious food is so friggin darn expensive. It really bothers me. And I know that Trader Joe's is a better deal, but I can only go on the weekends, (and don't make me tell you how much I despise each and every Trader Joe's parking lot) which means long line and a very crowded store.

Let me just say that I'm even more excited to go to the Encino Farmer's Market with Cindy and Katy tomorrow. I hope to make it a weekly excursion, supporiting local growers and farmers while getting good food at a decent price. Isn't that how it should be?

And, while we're on the subject of grocery shopping experiences, I must share this tale:

I was at my local store, perusing the breads, when this man completely let a loud fart go. Right in front of me. Clearly he was embaressed and I didn't look at him, I just kept perusing the shelves. But as soon as he turned around, I headed the other direction and made a face. How gross!

I do have a smidge of good news. At Amoeba Music last night, I found 2 soundtracks I've been anxious to add to our CD collection: Sliding Doors and French Kiss. Both used and total cost was under 15 bucks!

Thanksgiving Weekend

Okay, here goes: (Note: Pictures are from the internet as our digital camera is stinky. Picture here and below is courtesey of Uncle Jim and Aunt Beth's lovely working camera.)

Wednesday: Woke up sick as a dog and called in sick to work. Spent the rest of the day sleeping and slowly packing for our upcoming overnight drive to Fairfield. I gabbed all day to Matt about possibly canceling our trip but then I didn't like the idea of bailing on relatives and being alone on Thanksgiving. We were really looking forward to our trip, aside from Sicky McGee feeling, well, sicky.

Thursday: We left the kitties with plenty of food and water, and took off about 3:30am. We got on I-5 with zero traffic - I remember at one point there were just 4 cars on our side of the freeway. I didn't fall asleep until after breakfast at Jack in the Crack somewhere over on the other side of the San Fernando Mountains.

I woke up around 5:30am to Matt pulling over near some orchards and mumbling how he needed a nap before he could continue driving. Totally ok! No accidents please! So he pulled over and fell asleep. At this point I was wide awake, enjoying the peace of country life. I really wanted to go out and walk around but brrrrrrr!!!! It was cold. Wish I had my stinky camera, there were some great shots that would have made for good blogging.

We arrived in Fairfield, CA around 10am (I think?) exhausted and full of drive-thru food (blech). Our legs needed to be stretched and I just wanted to go to bed. I was completely impressed with Jim and Beth's home. It was beautiful! Sweeping views of Green Valley included nearby vineyards, beautiful homes, and farmland. Jim said it was his dream home and he would be sad to leave next year (he commutes 1.5 hours to Sonoma every day). They also had a hotub which Matt took advantage of every night.

After an hour of gabbing and catching up, Matt and I headed to bed, becoming unconcious almost immediately. I slept as long as possible because I was feeling worse. I made myself respectable and headed out to the family room full of people and more arriving by the minute. (Family tree: Jim is Matt's Uncle on his mom's side, Beth is Aunt by marriage, and everyone else was from Beth's side of the family). I think there must have been 20 people over for dinner and it was really fun to get to know all of these new faces. I think my favorite guest was Beth's mom, Grandma Peg. She was a hoot and such a kind woman. She made me realize how much I missed having a grandma in my life. She also made me think about how you can never be too old to travel - she is in her 80's and going to Egypt next year!

Around 7:30 I had started to fade, and by 8:00 Grandma Peg told me for the third time to go to bed. I obeyed, and fell into a deep sleep, waking up only to take care of cold related issues.

Friday: I woke up feeling much better, and Matt felt very relaxed. We hadn't watched TV, checked our email, or even listened to a radio in over a day. A life without technology - it was great! After some discussion over breakfast (homemade oatmeal, pears, and tea), we decided Napa Wine Country sounded like the best plan. Low key, close by, and of course, wine! We had so much fun going in and out of Beth's favorite stores, including a little clothing boutique where I was allowed to indulge in a new pair of jeans, a scarf, and a pair of earrings. Matt and Jim tried on a few hats...We ended our day in Napa with a great dinner at Taylor's Refresher which included yummy garlic fries. When we got home, Jim and Matt hit the hot tub while Beth and I talked and read books by the fireplace. We can't wait to go back and try out the Napa Wine Train next time!

More details to come on our day in San Francisco - I need to get back to work!

Real quick

We had a great Thanksgiving with Matt's side of the family. We headed up to Fairfield, CA to visit Uncle Jim, Aunt Beth, and cousins Leah and Kaitlin. We were the only family from Jim's side at dinner. Everyone else was from Beth's side but it was great to meet them and get to eat some fantastic food. Friday we went to Napa Wine Country and Saturday we spent in San Francisco. We ended the weekend with a side-trip to South San Fran to see the Dickens Fair and visit with friends Jeremy and Katy. We got home this morning around 3:30.

Unfortunately I woke up with a bad cold on Wednesday and was sick for the entire weekend. I started feeling better on Friday and by this morning I realized I had been through the worst of it. I'm still stuffy, but the only thing I mind is having to go back to work tomorrow. UGH.

I will post more details about our trip later. Right now it's time for more rest.

A good weekend so far

Last night I went to Yoga and it felt really good. I was a good girl and kept myself hydrated all day, and it really helped with my overall workout. I still had to sit down and escaped to the air-conditioned bathroom a few times. But within the first few minutes, I was already sweating and by the time class was over, I had a nice glow. I was so proud of myself for going and the best part was that there weren't very many people in the class. Since it was Friday night, I guess everyone went out. I also enjoyed the instructor's pace of the class. She kept the room a little cooler so we were able to go a little faster which meant we ended a little earlier. :) I was home by 8:15.

Tonight I get to see friends which will be fun. Amanda, Kari, and Paul (Kari's fiancee) are coming over to see our place and then we're heading out to thai food down the street. Then we're off to Magic Mountain for a special roller-coaster evening. Apparently, Paul's employer has worked out a "magic" deal where employees and their friends can enjoy the park by themselves for 6 hours! I'm really excited to go as I haven't been to Magic Mountain in over a year and I hear they have some amazing roller coasters. It will also be nice to spend some time with Amanda and Kari as I rarely see them anymore. Hopefully Matt will still be able to come. Poor guy has a migraine right now. :(

I've been asked quite a few times about the writers strike and how it's affecting us. I will blog about that later, perhaps when I feel a little more positive about the situation.

No more weekly recipes here!

Check out Cooking Kama Sutras, a communal hot and spicy cooking site where (so far) Cindy and I share new recipes and the stories that emerge with them. I hope you enjoy it and if you want to contribute, let us know!

Hope to see you in our e-kitchen soon!

On fire

As I am sure many of you have heard by now, there are about 15 wildfires burning in Southern California. Matt and I are not directly affected, and neither are our friends. But that's not to say we aren't freaked out by the giant smoke cloud above the city every night, or by the eerily pink/red sun that appears at dusk. I check the news reports about every hour to get some sort of update. I think of all the families and animals that are displaced from their homes, hoping that their lives will soon be back to normal. I also can't help but wonder about staying in SoCal for the long-term means that our future home will eventually burn down.

Suggestions?

So far we've come up with:

Tragedy
Tradg
Tink
Tonk
Trixie
Curly
Kit

None of these seem to fit. Any ideas? We've just been calling her "Kitten".

New kitty?

Last night when we were shooting "Alive", someone came in from the parking lot carrying a little kitten. She was terrified and shaking, poor thing. We thought she had been run over by a car since he had found her under one (her leash, a shoelace, was caught). So Matt, Jon (who she was clinging to), and I raced her over to a nearby emergency clinic.

Her tail isn't broken. She had terrible fleas, and after the shock, beacame one of the sweetest kittens I'd ever seen. Rubbing against us, purring as loud as possible. Meowing and chirping, so happy. She got some tests done - totally healthy - at least so far.

We brought her home around midnight then Matt ran out to Ralph's to get some kitten food and litter. She's in the bathroom while Quinn is stalking the door, trying to catch a glimpse of this strange creature.

I'm so exhausted - only 5 hours of sleep after a 12 hour day of shooting. We're not sure if we'll keep her. Right now it's important to keep the kitties separated and let them get used to each other's scent.

If any of our friends in L.A. are looking for a sweet, good natured, loving little grey kitten with a slightly odd tail (it's a birth defect, in a little corkscrew, almost), let us know. If we can't keep her, we'd like to find her a good home.

I'm a dork, but I'm a cute dork!

Oh ok, fine, I admit it, I've joined my first D&D campaign. And you know what? I really enjoy it. There are many things happening that I didn't associate with role playing:

1. I'm not up all night. Sessions are only 3 or 4 hours long once a week with good friends.
2. Healthy snacks from now on. No more chips and dip, or $30 worth of cookies from the bakery!
3. Dinner that I don't have to cook. Since we meet at Don and Cindy's place, Cindy cooks and I assist.
4. Extra time with my hubby!

I have fought playing for a long time. I'm not sure why, but it's very fun to see how cute Matt is when he talks to me about role playing. He's thrilled that I've taken an interest in something he's been passionate about for so long, which makes it totally worthwhile. :)

The only downfalls are that Matt picks me up right from work so I don't get to go home until late at night (around 11pm which means a very long day for me), and I'm totally exhausted on Fridays, which are my busiest days. But hey, it's just a few hours until the weekend begins so it's not that bad. The math is the other thing that bugs me. It's just going to take me awhile to get used to what to apply to and when....there's a lot more to RP'ing than I thought!

Cindy best describes on her blog what the session was like last night. It was a longer session than I anticipated, but it certainly was an adventure!

I'm really excited about this gaming group. For the first time in a while ... actually maybe for the first time ever ... I think we have a group that is more intellectually strategic than battle heavy. In our group of 5 players, we have an elf cleric (divine magic/healer), a half-elf favoured soul (divine magic/healer #2), a half-elf rogue (sneaky and stealthy but quite squishy), a half-drow sorcerer/warrior (magic user with big nasty axe), and a Warforged Knight (Damage dealer but too honorable to play dirty). I think it will be interesting trying to solve our challenges creatively rather than just running in with our swords and killing everything in sight. On the other hand, we did almost have a total party wipe out last night from just two mangy rats. True, they weren't just any rats, they were horrid rats, but still how embarrassing would it have been if we were taken out by a couple of rodents before we had even accomplished our first mission. Last night we achieved our first objective, scored big on lots treasure, and several of us leveled as well. Leveling is exciting when you are playing a magic user because you get to cast more spells per day!

Busy and tired

Saturday I spent with Kari M. who is getting married next October! I hadn't seen her since I got back from my 3 week NW rondeveau last month, so there was much catching up to do. Her friend Jenny was in town from San Francisco, so the three of us plus Amanda and Sonia got together for high tea in Pasadena to see the ring, discuss options, suggestions, and have a girly day. We did some window shopping in Old Town Pas, going into Tiffany's, a Japanese paper shop, bought some clothes at H&M (my new favorite store), and got caught up on all our stories. I did not go out for drinks that night as I was getting exhausted and had a busy weekend ahead of me (we also went to Target at 8pm - best time to go).

Sunday Matt and I went to my friend Marie's wedding. She and her new husband, Eric, are celebrated in chic style. We had never been to a Jewish ceremony before, so that was very interesting and fun to boot. It was at the Sky Room in Long Beach, which has a 360 degree view atop the building in a fabulous restaurant. Each guest was assigned at a table, and each table was named after their favorite movies. Matt and I were assigned to Young Frankenstein along with a few other young married couples. We had a blast. The wine was flowing, the music was hopping, and the food was incredible! The newlyweds were so cute. Marie and Eric had been waiting for this day for so long. It was wonderful to finally see them as, officially, husband and wife.

Monday we headed out to Venice Beach for a BBQ with Mary and Ben and other close AFI friends. We headed out to the beach, had a bit of alchohol, and ate good food. We brought a salmon pasta salad, hard cider, and burgers. Someone brought these chocoloate chip cookie-bars that were simply amazing melt in your mouth awesome. I couldn't eat enough, but after 4 my stomach decided IT had enough. Matt left early to go to another party, and I stayed behind to catch up with Mary.

For those of you who don't know, I got a job! It's not official yet, they are still processing paperwork. But, thanks to Gina Nicole, I am working at a staffing company. We place temps, temps-to-hire, and direct placements in the financial and administrative sectors. More details to come when the position becomes official.

Matt graduates next week. I can't wait! I am so proud of him and all his accomplishments. He is ready to move on to the next phase in his career and both of us can't wait to find out where we're headed next. :)

And, finally, WELCOME to Don and Cindy! We're so excited you're close by!

Bored now

Yesterday, today and for the next 7 weekedays I am working at FX and Fox Movie Channel at their reception desk. While it may sound exciting, it's not. All the important people have their own assistants which leaves me surfing the internet and checking my email every 5 minutes. Yes, it is a paycheck and today is going faster than yesterday. So, if you feel like emailing me, leaving a comment here or on myspace, it would really help these next few days.

Last night I had a great class. I'm working hard on my listening skills and focusing my energy on the task at hand rather than fidgeting and releasing energy through menial things, like slamming down a book or a loud sigh. This class is amazing, and I am always excited (and a little nervous) to see what Cliff has to say. I also thanked him for giving me scenes that are comical rather than serious drama. I needed to take a break from crying.

Which reminds me that mother's day is coming up...I could anticipate feeling like crap, feeling depressed, or something else. I think I just want to be busy on that Sunday and not even think about what it means. Of course, I will send flowers to her. And to Nancy. But I feel the need to move on. It's why I'm looking for work and trying to be more responsible. I'm a grown-up and need to start being one.

Funny Girl

Matt's caption: "Wait, my godparents are WHO?"

Little Catherine, you are a funny girl and we can't wait to meet you!

It's sunny outside, and where am I?

I am inside. To those of you who don't have sunny weather everyday, this may seem like a tragedy. It's a balmy 70 degrees with nice breeze coming through. The birds are singing, the sky is blue, and all seems right with the world. Except my allergies. That is not fun. Not at all. So I am inside, drinking water and trying to not take my allergy meds (ever since Mom passed I have this thing about extra chemicals coursing through my blood), but will probably take benadryl tonight so that I can sleep better.

Last week was fairly busy. I landed a temp job at an estate planning/entertainment law firm. They haven't had a receptionist for over a year, so in place of that the office manager (and she doesn't want that title) has been filling in or they've called in a temp (which is about $24+ an hour). Apparently the temps that have come in aren't exactly with it (Kelly, at work, calls them lemons) but then I show up. Eager, willing, and needing the paycheck for our slowly growing but equally important savings account. The job is cake: answering phones, getting coffee, tea, mail, etc. I can do this job in my sleep. It's not challenging - I've finished 2 books in the last week - and the pay through the temp agency is awesome. But now Kelly is asking me several times a day if I can stay. I have told her "no" on numerous occasions, that this job is not what I'm looking for, and I'm taking off next month for 3 weeks. So finally she wore me down and I said I'd talk to Matt this weekend but I had already made up my mind.

First of all, the job itself pays $14/hr. This is not acceptable to me. I have been making that amount for way too long, so that amount would need to be increased, to at least $17 (but whoever heard of a receptionist that gets paid that amount?) Second, the commute. I can't even begin to say how much I hate that commute. 10 miles away = 1 hour in traffic. Third, I'm way over qualified to be getting coffee and tea for some lawyers who have assistants who could easily get it for them. And did I mention I have to go get someone's lunch? As if! I don't think so. I could easily do this part time, maybe 2 days a week. It would certainly give me the cash that I need in addition to working for my father that would give us some good money to put away. Oh, my decision. Part time. Not full time. No benefits required and $15/hr.

Matt and I have come to an understanding about this, and we finally see eye to eye why I can't do this job full time. I am looking for something challenging and something I can be proud of. The whole thing about getting coffee and tea just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, if I wanted to do that, I'd apply to work at Starbucks. Know what I mean?

My little Ellie

My god-daughter, Catherine Eleanor, is arriving today. Her mom, my dear friend Brianna, went into labor last night and we just got a phone call that she should be arriving soon. We got a call from Dad, Stephen, who sounds completely exhuasted but so so excited and happy this morning. Matt and I can't wait to meet her!