Werking Gyrl

Seriously. I am now working for da family business. I am back in the land of nine to five. Really, it's more like 7:30 to 3:30 thanks to Matt's working hours. Matt's office is 3 miles from mine, so we get to take the carpool lane which is such a saving grace! We take turns driving in the afternoon but he drives in the morning. If I don't sleep well, he graciously drives and let's me take a quick nap on the way to and from work.

I have hit the ground running at work. Literally jumping in with both feet and seeing what happens. As most of you know, I am managing the website for my dad's company, and they are really far behind. As most of you also know, my major in college was theater. And I have zero to little experience with this. I am just asking questions, making phone calls, and figuring out where we are at. They hired someone to build an online store 2 years ago, and nothing has happend in those 2 years, so we are also a little time crunched, and might I say, desperate? In this economy, online sales are hugely helpful. Plus, once this gets off the ground, maybe I'll be just one of the peeps rather than the bosses daughter.

In any case, I am enjoying my job. I do like being in an office. I'm not as distracted and it's kind of cute to see how proud my dad is to have me here. I have missed the sarcastic humor at work, and unlike 5 years ago, I can now fire back with my own observations and remarks. I'm no longer a sensitive 20 something. I am a self-assured woman who can handle her own.

Speaking of which, I really should go back to work. Spreadsheets are calling my name. Joy of joys!

As if we didn't have enough stuff...

...we unloaded our storage unit today. Rather, the boys did, while Tina and I jetted off to three different stores to find curtains for the other bedrooms and downstairs, and another few stores were thrown into the mix to find her some new shoes. No shoes were found, but curtains were bought and have been hung (thanks to Tina's manly skills --as she says "grrr" and flexes her muscles while drinking tequila). Then as I was unpacking boxes, I found more curtains...sigh...figures.

It's been a long week. Tomorrow we go get my grandmother's china, her china, and my parent's dining room table and chairs. I'm actually just "borrowing" the table and chairs from my sister, who wants to have them as her own, but as she's in college, she doesn't have space for them in her tiny apartment. So until she has a place of her own, Matt and I will gladly use them for our own family dinners.

And with that, my friends, good night. Pictures will NOT be posted until there are no moving boxes in sight. Or at least until I get them all into the garage.

Year of Gratitude #27

1. I am so very thankful for friends who are willing to tote me around while Matt is at work this week and I am sans car. Whether it's to go shopping or just get out of the house (or a little of both), I am very appreciative of my dear friends!

2. Money in the bank. Yeah, I know, it won't last long, but for setting up home and the lack of food (meaning we've gone out to dinner every night this week), it's been a relief knowing I won't look at our checking account balance and burst into tears.

3. My hard-workin' hubby. I am so proud of him, and so grateful that he found work, and that he loves where he's at and what he's doing.

A new look, a new life

I figured the raindrops were appropriate considering the weather these days.

I'd just like to write a quick note:

Dear Mother Nature,
I realize that it's not officially summer yet, but do you think you could warm things up just a little? Fifty-five degrees isn't really warm enough for me right now, and I know my long-term PNW friends and family would appreciate some temparatures in the 60's. Please do what you can. Thank you!

Moving-in is overwhelming and we've had lots of visitors, friends and the cable guy, someone from the geek squad, and the bird-removal people...it's been pretty hectic. But I'm glad we're home. It's an amazing feeling!

More to come...brain full...and there's more boxes to unpack...

Goodbye, Los Angeles

Goodbye, Los Angeles...

We've had a strange relationship, the two of us. Wouldn't you agree? When I first got here, you were overwhelming and busy, made no sense, and decided that temperatures in the 100's were the best way to welcome Matt and I to Hollywood. Then winter came, and you warmed us up with sixty degrees. At night. I remember the first time I walked outside in December in a shorts and t-shirt, thinking that life couldn't be better, and neither could the weather. Over time I came to love the winter and hate the summers, like most of my friends here. I learned the value of drivers who know how to drive in traffic as opposed to coming to a dead stop. I learned how to navigate your ridiculously unusable public transit system (seriously, get a subway stop at LAX and at the beach already). You then warmed the hearts of several of our friends, persuading them to live here, and we welcomed them with open arms, extending our community, our family of dear friends. You were aggravating at times, but kept that carrot dangling in front of me, hopeful that good things would continue to come along. Even with those crappy jobs, I continued to hope that you would help us stick around for the long haul.

Then the writer's strike happened, then the housing bubble burst, sending the economy into disarray. We tried to stay, we tried our best to figure out our bleeding finances so we could afford to stay. And we couldn't. We could afford a house in our home state that also offered a slightly cheaper cost of living. We tried, we did our best to stay, even moved to a cheaper apartment that offered critters in the kitchen with no dishwasher, but I'm sorry to say it's just not going to work out this time. We have to break up.

I was a different person then, and you helped shape me into the person I am today. I will be forever grateful. You will always have a place in my heart.

Five Days and Counting

Our apartment is a mess. Matt and I are exhausted. My brain isn't functioning properly and I forget things quite a bit nowadays. Total chaos in this California Vancil home. He is amazing at packing boxes. And I am doing well at the admin stuff (setting utilities, making multiple phone calls, running errands...I am an assistant in my home). We are making great progress but I know the day of the move, we'll be running around thinking "Shit! How could we forget that? And why didn't we take care of *insert project here* sooner?!"

Plans this week you ask? Hm. Well tomorrow is church and then our farewell party. Monday our car goes to the mechanic for an oil change and overall inspection to make sure it won't fall apart while we're driving up. Tuesday is dinner with a friend. Wednesday is more meals with more friends. Thursday we hopefully get our TV fixed and final chiro appointments, not to mention our last night in town.

The movers arrive Friday morning. Hopefully late Friday morning or early afternoon we'll be on the road. We'll spend the night in Etna with our dear friend Erik (sadly Gayvin will not be home) and son Jack. They don't care that we have three nutty cats, they'll be welcome too and put in a separate room. Saturday we make it to Tacoma and set up camp for the cats in either the rec room or a bathroom. We will probably spend that night at my aunt and uncle's in Puyallup and enjoy their hot tub. Sunday, we hope the movers will arrive. June 14 is when Matt starts his new job. Our new washer and dryer will be delivered and installed that day. June 15 our internet and phone will be hooked up, and I hope to make a trip to the DMV that day. June 16 we have a consultation with 3-day blinds to see about some, y'know, blinds for our naked windows. Then June 17th I am officially back at the office. Even though the commute will completely suck, Matt's office is three miles from mine, so we will be able to carpool. Brilliant I say! I will be commuting every weekday during the summer, and hope by fall to be working from home once or twice a week.

I wrote this all out so I could remember. Sometimes the calendar just doesn't make sense to me. It sounds crazy, and hectic, but seriously, would I have it any other way? Never! Can't wait to go home! :)

To Emilie - Same here m'dear!

To Jenny - Oh joy of joys. I think I will want to hear about it at your party. After a glass of wine. Or five.

To Brie - Birds nests = multiple birds who have lived in our attic, probably for months since it was an investment home and no one has lived there for quite some time. Should be lots of bird poo and germs up there. Blech. Yes, I know it could be worse, and the reason we bought this house is because most everything is up to date. I'm just really mad at our inspector (and ticked at our Realtor) for not catching it in the first place so we could have had the seller clean it up instead, thus saving us money. Blech, I say!

Seven Days and Counting

In one week we'll leave California. I don't want to say "forever" because that is a long time. But I would like to say we'll leave indefinitely. I don't think we'd mind coming back so long as we could make enough money to be comfortable rather than bleeding money every single month.

Found out yesterday that we have birds' nests in our attic. GROSS. Found a bird removal company in Seattle that can help us. I am waiting to hear back from them as to a free inspection and how much this might cost us.

We are in packing/cleaning-stuff-out high gear. Every day, Matt is asking me what I can pack in the kitchen. We are really trying to watch our spending because the first few months in a new place is always expensive with ending services at the old place and starting new ones at the new home. We have never owned a house before, haven't had to pay a water bill in years, and have no idea how much blinds will cost. It's all overwhelming and exciting at the same time. Though right now I have to say I'm closer to overwhelmed.

Right now, though, I'm off to get a massage. My tired, aching muscles and harried brain are in deep need of relaxation!

Vegas Baby!

We're not going to the strip, not if I can help it. We're off to visit an old friend and meet his wife and new daughter. I'm excited to see Hoover Dam and Lake Mead, maybe I'll actually set foot in Arizona before we leave the Southwest permanently.

It will be good for Matt and I to leave town for a few days. It's been tense around here, a small place with the two of us and three cats, limited more by the chaos of boxes and packing. We are all looking forward to the time (2 weeks from today) where we won't be living on top of each other.

But for now, Vegas, and more sunshine!

Celebrity List

This is so I can answer the question "What celebrities have you seen while in L.A.?"

Katy Segal
Casey Affleck (This one is a good story)
Joaquin Phoenix
Bobby Lee
Minnie Driver
Owen Wilson
Rose McGowan
Famke Jensen
Sandra Oh
Demi Moore
Ashton Kutcher
Rumer Willis
Joe Pantoliano
Lauren Hutton
Donald Glover
David Duchovny
Eva Longoria

Where to begin?

There's quite a bit going on in this here household. First off, we've officially set our moving date for June 11th, which is 18 days from today. Oy! Lots to pack, lots of closets, nooks, and crannies to clean out. I try not to think about it too much, just take it day by day. And thank gawd hubby was a professional mover. He knows exactly what kind of boxes we need, how many, and that packing paper will save our dishes (it's true). I've booked the movers (which relieves much stress), booked the truck to empty out our storage locker in Puyallup for the 19th, and I guess the next step is to cancel our utilities here in L.A. Oh and I did submit our change of address too. That one is kind of a biggie.

My last day at Roadside is on June 2nd. I'm really going to miss working there. The people are wonderful, and I so appreciate them taking the time to train me in something (accounts payable) that I had no previous experience in. Plus one of my co-workers and I have a very serious Facebook scrabble battle going on.

This weekend, you know, because we have so much time on our hands, we are going to visit our friends in Northern Las Vegas. We will not be visiting the strip as I've been there enough times. Instead we'll be going to Lake Mead and Hoover Dam, visiting places that we've never seen before. I'm really excited to get out of L.A. for a little while and see what else Vegas has to offer. (A shout-out to Rian - Thanks for taking care of the meows while we're gone!)

I'm still dumbfounded by the fact that we have bought a house. That we can do anything we want, and are responsible for ALL the utilities. We need to buy blinds and screen doors. Shower rods and curtains. We'll be staying with my aunt and uncle the first few nights so we can get a few necessities done (in addition to painting) and the kitties can adjust to their new surroundings. I am hoping they will be slightly less neurotic since we won't be living on top of each other. And to get Quinn to lose a little weight, we'll be putting the litter boxes downstairs and the food upstairs so she'll have to use the stairs to get to these places.

This is how my brain works these days. Full of tangents and random thoughts that are related and yet aren't. It's crazy busy up there, with no time to exercise (it's really just laziness) and just a massive desire to sleep.

Only in L.A.

I am sure that this list will keep building and building as we get ready to leave permanently next month...

1. Only in L.A. would I be sitting in for the front desk admin at work and a named celeb comes out of the conference room asking me to get something out of his car.

2. Only in L.A. would we say "Oh, it's so cold, it's only 65 degrees!"

3. Only in L.A. would it be ok to experience a traffic jam at 2am. It's really not ok, but seems permissible.

4. Only in L.A. would I see the red-carpet event being set up downstairs in the lobby and think "Oh great, now Matt's not going to have anywhere to park when he comes to pick me up."

5. Only in L.A. would I blame premieres on Hollywood Boulevard for increasing my commute time.

Suggestions? Additions?

Reflections

In times of reflection, where I think about where I've been and how much I've changed, I tend to get pretty wistful. Especially on days like today, where we celebreate mothers world-wide and while I am continually amazed and grateful that I had such a wonderful mother, and that I am surrounded by amazing mothers, friends and family alike, I can't help but feel, sometimes, that I got cheated, that our family was robbed. I don't stay there very long, but every once in awhile, it just hurts. Instead of pushing it away like I used to do, I deal with it for 5 minutes and move on, figuring that one meltdown is better than five (mother's day last year, anyone?). I also take this opportunity to celebrate my mom, who was an incredible woman and I was very lucky (and still am) to have her as my parent, as my guiding force in life.

I'm reflecting too, on the big changes ahead. We are gearing up to move back to Washington State, where we'll be first time home-owners, and with that comes more (albeit new and kind of scary) responsibilities. Something goes wrong? Breaks? We must fix it! Yardwork? We've it cut out for us. But I'm SO EXCITED to explore a new city, to strengthen new relationships, to start a new chapter in my life. To start auditioning again, to explore my home-state as a grown up, to live my life in a new way. I feel like I've taken California for granted, in a way, and become stagnant. I don't intend for that to happen as often up in Tacoma, except on bad days. And they'll happen, hopefully just not as frequently. Because I'll have a new house to slowly decorate and keep me busy (cleaning it will take longer, I imagine). And a commute. To Redmond. Blech. Anyone for carpooling?

I'd like to imagine, too, that moving to Washington will get me off my lazy bum and inspire me to exercise with friends by going for beautiful walks and exploring Dash Point State Park which is fairly close to my new home. I'll have a living room and a rec room, both with their own TV's (and fireplaces) to stretch out in should I want to do yoga at home. There's a few bikram studios nearby, and a lovely suburban neighborhood to explore. And if all else fails, there's the gym. But I'm hoping I will be able to avoid a monthly fee and figure out a routine that's adventurous and satisfying.

And let me just tell you that I'm THRILLED with our new kitchen! I plan on many more culinary adventures, and hope to have a grill fairly quickly after moving in so that we will have another avenue for cooking. And I'm thinking that in August we'll have a house-warming party tied in with my birthday. An end-of-summer bash. With a bbq. And maybe I'll have that firepit going in the backyard? You know me. I like hosting. So come on over for dinner, just let me know when you're on your way so I can set an extra place for you!

I'd like to end this with one of my favorite pictures of me and mom from when I was a kid:

Love you mom. I miss you every day. Thanks for everything, and continuing to help guide me from afar. xoxo

Pictures of our house!

The west side of the house.

One of TWO fireplaces!

Our gigantic backyard. I have ideas, but right now it's just WAY overwhelming.

My kitchen! Look, it's not a shoebox! AND there's a dishwasher!!

The lovely entryway. I LOVE this house!

A quick overview

Finalized the loan for the house;

Settled on a property insurance provider;

Finding more gray hairs on my head;

Pricing out movers;

Realizing that I'm making decisions that will affect the rest of our lives. Literally.

It's a lot of stress, and for about 6 weeks there, I really don't know how anyone put up with me, but thank you a million times over. :) I'm much better now. Insomnia is now only due to the heat of L.A. rather than stress.

Oh, and pictures of the house are uploaded onto Facebook. I'll post some here when Blogger decides to not be such a pill.

How do I love thee?

Oh let me count the ways...If only I could afford you...

Back to "normal"

I have another acupuncture appointment tomorrow. I can't deal with myself like this. I need to sleep, and I need this whole house buying/financing business to just be done. Why can't my life be like that movie "Click" for the next two weeks?

I'm doing my best to stay positive. Today I'm home from work as tears don't really help with accounting and data entry.

Fingers crossed for a better and happier blog entry tomorrow.

Ahhh, relief

So for those of you who have been following my FB status updates, it's safe to say that the last week I've been stressed out beyond belief, my anxiety reaching a peak level that has been keeping me up all night, my heart racing fervently and my brain unable to shut off for at least 6 hours. I was exercising, only drinking one or two cups of tea a day, no more soda, really watching what I ate (when I felt like eating). I have a few more gray hairs on the sides of my temples, the wrinkles under my eyes were more pronounced, and I was negative and going crazy. Chiropractic wasn't helping either, and I wasn't sure that a massage would do the trick.

So I made an acupuncture appointment.

I have only had acupuncture once, nearly 4 years ago when Mom was dying, and the acupuncturist lovingly came to my parent's house to treat Dad, Katie, and I. I was a little hesitant...I mean, how are needles placed on certain areas of my body supposed to help me relax? Well, a few in my toes, and a couple in my ears, and BAM. Out like a light for 20 minutes. It's still the best cat nap I've ever had.

I had put a call into the acupuncturist about a month ago to see if my insurance would cover it, and while I swear I never got the message, she said she called me back and said it did...ok, fine. So I called last week to set up an initial appointment, and she had an opening for an hour on Tuesday, could I make it? Yes, I said, and I was hopeful that relief was in my future. I wasn't sure how much longer I could be in this over-heightened state of anxiety (I'm not sure I can even describe to you, dear followers how bad this felt and how crazy I've been).

So yesterday I went in, only to find out that the woman I had set up an appointment with wasn't there and I was meeting with the new one. Wha? Huh? Oooohhhhkaaaayyy, sure. I had made an appointment with the other woman because she came so highly recommended, but sure, I'll play along. I'm here for relief, and she's going to help me. Let's do this. Oh, and we have a cancellation, and you're a new patient. Might I take some extra time, and poke/prod you for awhile longer today? Sure thing, Missy, it's my day off.

Two hours later, I was on my way home. Tired. Exhausted. Chi reset. Nervous system back in balance, and Chinese herbal pills on the way next week to help curb my anxiety/insomnia/stress. For the first time in WEEKS, I could think of the problems and not feel the anxious frenzy come about. My heart wasn't anxiously palpitating away, ready to burst out of my chest. I could finally think clearly, but first...a nap...I could hardly keep my eyes open after lunch and had the most wonderful long nap. Acupuncture is exactly what my body needed. I swear, it was better than therapy...no tears involved...just a little needle phobia.

Toady, I'm tired. I didn't get to sleep until after 3am, but it was because my nap was so rejuvenating. I wasn't stressing over things, I was just pleasantly rested. And I happen to know that without my lovely appointment today, I'd be a frenzy of stress and anxiety, in addition to loading myself up with caffeine and chocolate.

How else do I know I'm doing so well? When Alex, our front desk admin, asked me how I was doing this morning when I walked in, I said "great" without even thinking about a response. That's a very good sign, maybe even a great sign, that this issue (which still isn't solved, but will be by Friday/Saturday) isn't going to get the best of me anymore.

P.S. I have another appointment next Thursday. Why let insurance go to waste?

Escrow!

It's official!

We're in escrow for a house in Tacoma, WA.

More details to come after the inspection next Sunday, 4/25.

Late nights

You know what I can't stand? When I exhaust myself by working out, staying up throughout the day, getting stuff done, being fairly productive. It's night time, I'm tired, and I lay my head down to go to sleep, and BAM! I'm wide awake. My brain is suddenly not distracted by pretty things like Gmail and Facebook. Now we have time to WORRY and STRESS over things that are either in motion or more than likely, over things that have not happened yet. Yes, yours truly loves to fret over future events that may or may not occur. Lovely, eh? Bet you thought I was crazy before...man you don't even know. Bless my husband, for he is a saint.

Susan G Komen 3-day walk

I'm just putting this out there. I really want to go this year, finally feel like I'm ready to not be sad but be empowered instead. Does anyone have a team going or is anyone interested in putting one together? It's September 24-26, 2010 in Seattle.

Would really love to go. For Mom and for me.

As an added bonus, it will give me a fitness goal!

Anxiety

I am normally an anxious person. Especially when it comes to situation/places/things in general that I'm not familiar with. My heart races and my brain really can't focus on anything else. It's safe to say that I feel as though my heart is about to run right out of my chest and away from my crazy self. Deep breathing doesn't seem to help, and neither does caffeine.

On the other hand, I know I get anxious because I care. Because I want things to work out, not perfectly, but well enough so that I can move forward. Today, and perhaps the next few days, I'll feel this way. I see some serious exercising in my future. That seems to be about the only thing that can really calm me down when my anxiety is this bad.

Spring Greens

With Matt back in town, we go through our organic delivery box a little more quickly now, so a trip to the farmers market on the weekend is a great way to supplement fresh fruits and veggies that we have already gone through or didn't get.

Baby Bok Choy is now in season and abundant at the Sierra Madre market. When I saw it, I immediately thought of this recipe from Real Simple. I had tried it quite awhile ago, but thought I should give it another try. I'm sure glad I did! We served organic d'anjou pears on the side. A wonderful compliment.

Chicken and Bok Choy Stir-Fry

Serves 4

Hands-on Time: 15m

Total Time: 25m

Ingredients

• 1 cup long-grain white rice
• 1 tablespoon canola oil
• 4 6-ounce boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
• Kosher salt and black pepper
• 4 heads baby bok choy, quartered lengthwise
• 1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
• 1/4 cup store-bought barbecue sauce
• 4 scallions, thinly sliced

Directions

1. Cook the rice according to the package directions.

2. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season the chicken with ¼ teaspoon each salt and pepper and cook, tossing occasionally, until browned and cooked through, 4 to 6 minutes. Transfer to a plate.

3. Add the bok choy and ¼ cup water to the skillet. Cover and cook until the bok choy is just tender, 3 to 4 minutes.

4. In a small bowl, combine the soy sauce, barbecue sauce, and scallions. Add to the skillet and bring to a boil. Return the chicken to the skillet and cook, tossing, just until heated through, 1 to 2 minutes. Serve with the rice.

My hormones are yelling at me now...

The Hollywood Scene

Literally.

Went to a screening tonight. Didn't expect to get that close to Lauren Hutton, Demi Moore, and Ashton Kutcher. Didn't meet them, which is fine. That club was SO not my scene, and yet it was fascinating to watch everyone! I networked a little, and here's hoping that I didn't make a complete fool out of myself! :)

I had a great time. Some advil and water should help me sleep off that headache I might wake up with in the morning.

I think I'm going to regret blogging in this state. We'll see.

Matt is home

And right now, that's all that matters. :)

Just haven't felt like blogging

I come up with my best blog posts in the car, but unfortunately I don't get home in time to remember them. And when I am inspired, the blinking cursor and blank white screen are intimidating enough to make me want to run away screaming. You know me, my life is an open book and I don't want to give just little tidbits. But to go into detail about all the emotional draining shtuff, to put it into writing and have it permanently published on the Internets for all too see...isn't Facebook public enough?

March was just a weird month and I'm glad it's over.

Matt is coming home on Wednesday Morning! YEAH!! :) When he does come home, it will have been 7 weeks and 1 day since he left back in February.

I am working on a future blog post about all the things I will miss about L.A. when we finally move (and we have no idea when that will be, no house as of yet).

It's raining right now, thank goodness. We really need it!

Addicted to the show DEXTER. It's so creepy, and yet I can't bring myself to stop watching. That's good TV.

It was an interesting Easter this year, especially with the earthquake. It really messed with my equilibrium, I felt nauseated and dizzy. Still do when I read the news reports. But there's no damage here. We're fine, thank goodness. Hopefully that isn't an indication of what's to come. Hopefully that was it.

Did I mention I know over 10 women who are pregnant or gave birth already? And it's only April! Crazyness!

What I've done since Tuesday:

Went out for dinner every night;

Toured Santa Barbara for a day;

Finally got to see the Santa Barbara Mission;

Went to see a taping of The Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno;

Spent an afternoon and evening at Venice Beach;

Rode a bike (6 miles round-trip) at sunset along the boardwalk;

Got my haircut;

Went to bed every night after 11pm;

Had a free lunch at The Counter;

Got to eat dinner at my favorite restaurant in Venice Beach.


I'm tired today. I'm staying home.

Tourist Guide

My Aunt Muriel and Uncle John are visiting. They flew in last night and it is so nice to not have to be alone in my apartment for awhile! They certainly are entertaining and I don't get to spend much time with them, so to have some time just for the three of us is wonderful. Today I'm off to work early and dropping them off at Hollywood & Highland for 4 hours while I work. Then we're off to NBC in Burbank to see The Tonight Show! Should be fun. After that, I think we're all going to need a nap before dinner, and we haven't planned that far ahead yet.

Other trips we might do are Laguna Beach, Santa Barbara, and all kinds of stuff in between. Who knows? The next few days are ours and we can do what we want. It's a great feeling.

Matt and the JourneyQuest team are jump starting principal photography today. Let's hope everything goes smoothly. I'll be anxious to talk to him tonight to find out how everything went. Once he starts shooting and directing, I know his anxiety will melt away and everything will come into focus.

As for me, I am still pissed about loosing the house, but I am working on letting it go, day by day. Our house is out there, and we will be living in it soon enough. I can't wait to be back in the Northwest this summer. I can't wait to be home.

I should just avoid the news...good or bad...

Please make the news stop. Just for a day. I can't take it anymore. Good or bad, my cup is full and I would like a few days to simply process what life has passed my way since Saturday. I'm moody, hubby is emotionally drained, and I am struggling to keep a positive attitude. It doesn't help that the majority of my support system is all up North right now, and it's all I can do to keep from crying at the drop of a hat.

Really, I just need to avoid Facebook for a few days, stop checking the papers, and maybe go see AVATAR or ALICE IN WONDERLAND to get out of my head. I've seen AVATAR before, don't worry, I just want to see it again to see all the stuff I missed. Maybe I'll go see it tomorrow. I have enough points at the Arclight for a free ticket.

Anyway, I've thankfully forced myself to exercise twice this week, and tomorrow is my final day at bootcamp (We just can't afford the expense right now). I can't imagine how I'd be doing if I hadn't worked out.

Slight Crisis Mode

I'm fine. Really, in the grand scheme of things, I'm fine. There's still money in the bank account, I have food in the kitchen, and I have a roof over my head. I'm healthy, have a great husband and friends, everything is ok.

Seems to be everyone else that's having troubles, and I can't help. I can only be there for them on the phone, listen and support from afar. Which is hard, because I just want to wrap my arms around them and give them a huge hug. I have to have faith that everything will work out, one way or the other.

I'm proud of myself, though, in a way, for not taking on other people's problems. I can only do what I can do, it is their life to live, and if all I can do is listen, well hey, that's good enough sometimes. Sometimes that's all that's needed. I used to try to fix everything, but now, I just let it slide and work on the mantra "what will be, will be, and that's ok." It's not easy, but it is calming and reassuring.

In other news, GOOD NEWS, the company I work for in West Hollywood had a movie that won best documentary last night! Yay!

Gratitude #26

1. Sleep. I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Sleep is heavenly. I am still beating this cold into submission (it's been almost two weeks) and love that my laugh sounds like I've been a smoker since I was 5. But I digress, it's just knocked the wind out of me. The weather is changing too, so my body is just naturally tired. I haven't worked out in two weeks, surprisingly I'm not going insane, but I know that once I become more active, I'll be a little less sleepy.

2. Friends who listen. I'm surrounded with an awesome group of friends (and family) who have listened to me gripe/groan/cry/laugh over many things these last few weeks, especially since I got back from Seattle. And I'm glad to be there for them too, in all kinds of ways, whether over the phone or over IM. I love my friends. You guys really are the best.

3. Kleenex. Without it, last week I would have been a disgusting mess. It's really for the best that Matt is away, filming and having fun. He doesn't have to see me all gross and nas-tastic.

A little update

I think we found our house, matter of fact I'm pretty sure of it, but there's still some things to think about;

I'm still slightly sick, but so much better. Hubby let me sleep 10 hours last night, bless his heart;

Jessica did an awesome job looking after our place and the precious meows - thank you!!

I hate money;

I miss Matt something fierce and can't wait to see him in 24 days;

I had a great time in Washington, and can't wait to go back. Permanently.

Sneezy, Sniffly, and then some

The last week or so I've been slightly sneezy and sniffly, but usually spring starts in February here in LA LA Land, so I attributed it to allergies. Unfortunately, I caught a chill on Saturday night as Kari M. and I waited for the subway in downtown, and by Sunday the chill turned into a sore throat complete with sniffles and sneezing. I guess my body was trying to tell me that I was sick, but obviously I wasn't paying attention.

This morning the sore throat is gone, thankfully, but it's unfortunately been replaced by that classic nasal tone, and the sneezes and sniffles are still visiting. I don't think I'll make it into work today, which sucks because I could use the hours and the cash. But hopefully tomorrow and Wednesday I will make it in, and I'll just tack on a few extra hours to make up for the time I'm missing today.

I'm also hoping this cold will be completely gone by Thursday as I'm flying back up to Seattle to continue the house hunt. I'm excited, but not exactly hopeful. Our house is out there, but who knows when it will appear. Right now, I just have to stay open minded to all possibilities.

Spaghetti and Meatballs

I'm not one for making my own spaghetti sauce. As one reviwer on this recipe said, "I always gravitate to buying the jarred sauce." It's just easier. But after making this meal last night with my good friend Rian, I think it's going to be much more exciting and fun to make my own spaghetti sauce.
And the meatballs. Homemade meatballs. Heaven. Just. Heaven. Bye bye frozen meatballs, HELLO homemade. Everything just tastes better when made from scratch. I have to remember this!
Click here for the recipe.

This meal goes well with a hearty Pinot Noir.

Bon Appetit!

It's a better day...a little better...

It's the nights that are the hardest. And it hit me yesterday why I'm really struggling with all of this.

He's a writer, yes? He works best from home which means he's home all the time. And while it would be nice to have a dining room table now and then, for the most part, it's a huge comfort just being around him. But now? All his stuff his gone. His "desk" is cleared off, so many of his clothes are missing from the closet, and little things are missing from the medicine cabinet. It's weird and I really don't like it. It's quiet all the time, and I actually miss having cable so I can have some background noise to keep me from feeling so alone.

Yes, Dahli, I must keep my chin up. Nine (now eight) days are close by, and I'll push through. Thanks Emilie and KT for your comments, to Paige for checking in on me, and to Pastor Sue for offering to keep me company. I have an awesome support network. The best of friends.

You guys are awesome.

Keeping it together

I don't know where that strong woman went, but now I seem to be this emotional little girl this morning, struggling to keep myself in check. I dropped Matt off at the airport this morning, and even though I am going to get to see him in just 9 days, it feels like I won't see him for six whole weeks. I feel alone, and overly emotional. Thank god for a part-time job, the church book-club, and activities to do later in the week. Otherwise I'd probably spend my time curled up in bed with tissues all over and hungry cats meowing incessantly.

Focus...breathe...I'm going to be FINE.

Where is this coming from??!!

*Deep Breath*

Really, I'm going to be fine, just fine. I know it.

Our last full day before I'm a film widow for 6 to 8 weeks.

The Chumash Valley, one of two vista points, outside Solvang.

Solvang at dusk.

What do you need wine for when you can go to the beergarden?

11 years together and still going strong. Love you, sweetie!

Planning Ahead

My mother-in-law has a fantastic quote (albeit annoying at times when I just want life to work out my way): "Life is what happens when you're making plans."

Ugh.

It's enough to say that searching for a house is stressful. Add to it that we're 1000 miles away and the only way I can really see houses is through the internets. I am stressed out, emotionally drained, and just want it to be over with already. And what's worse is that I can really plan anything more than a few weeks ahead because I don't know if we'll find that perfect place or not. I can't plan to see my family who's visiting Seattle at the end of March, because I could be packing up our place by then. I don't know when Matt will be back from shooting, so we can't plan the Grand Canyon trip, and even if we could, we don't know if we'll be moving by then.

The point is, I just don't know and it's driving me nuts.

In the meantime, I'm just trying to enjoy L.A. and not think about moving. Right now all I can do is search for a house, because without a house, moving isn't involved. Today, hubby and I are going to the Huntington Gardens, and then out for a cheap dinner. Or I might make something. Who knows? Tomorrow is full of chores and laundry, but today, I get my hubby all to myself.

Barley Pilaf Stuffed Squash

The last few deliveries we've received from Farm Fresh To You have included Butternut Squash. I'm not familiar with squash - the varieties available and when, how to cook it, and the impossible task of peeling off the tough exterior. One reason why I love this particular recipe so much is not only is the stuffing absolutely delicious (and healthy to boot), I don't have to peel the squash!

This recipe is from a fantastic cookbook called Almost Meatless. I heard about it from my friend Katy, and was so intrigued I used my birthday money to buy a copy. It's written by two women, one a meat loving carnivore, and the other is a former vegan. While meat is still used in the recipes, far less is used than in most cookbooks. The focus is on healthy eating for you and for the planet.

Barley Pilaf Stuffed Squash
from Almost Meatless
Serves 4

Ingredients:

• 2 small butternut squash, or 1 large squash, halved, seeds scooped out
• 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons olive oil
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1/3 cup (about 1/2 ounce) dried porcini mushrooms
• 3 cups hot water
• 1 cup barley
• 4 ounces sweet Italian sausage (or your favorite flavor)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (about 1 tablespoon)
• 1 small shallot, minced
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage (about 4 large leaves)
• 1/4 cup dried cranberries, chopped
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• 1/2 cup toasted pecans, chopped

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 375F.

To prepare the squash, rub the insides with the 1 tablespoon oil, salt, and pepper, and transfer toa large roasting pan that will fit all the pieces without crowding. Roast in the oven, cut side down, for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until the squash is fork tender.

Meanwhile, to prepare the filling, let the mushrooms steep in the hot water in a medium saucepan for about 15 minutes. Remove the rehydrated mushrooms, chop, and set aside. Bring the soaking water to a boil, add the barley, and simmer for about 30 minutes, until the barley is cooked through.

While the barley cooks, add the 2 teaspoons oil to a saute pan over medium-high heat. cut and remove the sausage casings and crumble the meat into the pan. Cook the sausage until it begins to brown, stirring occasionally. Add the garlic, shallot, sage, and cranberries, and reserved mushrooms and cook for another 2 minutes.

Drain the barley through a mesh strainer and add to the sausage pan. Add the vinegar and stir to combine thoroughly with the rest of the ingredients. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Keep warm until the squash is ready.
When the squash is done, remove from the oven and stuff the craters with the hot barley mixture. Sprinkle with toasted pecans and serve.

Bon Appetit!

Gratitude #25

1. A good night's sleep.
Oh my goodness, how much this helps. I haven't slept well since we got back from the holidays in Seattle. You see, I sleep with earplugs in here in good ol' Glendale because our bedroom faces a very busy street. Couple that with crazy, nutty cats running around in the middle of the night...well, white noise from a fan just doesn't cut it. So after a month of trying to sleep, trying to adjust to the noises...I couldn't take it anymore. And my friends, the last 3 nights have been blissful. I am waking up ready to go and refreshed, it's so awesome.

2. My cookbooks.
We had to wipe my computer a few weeks ago, and with that all of my recipes that I had saved in my MasterCook program disappeared! So, it's back to the basics, of searching through my recipe books for easy yet healthy and tasty recipes. I am so glad I have such a variety. I'll never get bored, that's for sure. Remember how I used to collect stationary? Well, now it's cookbooks. Matt is fine with it, as long as I make a recipe from each one at some point, whether it's today or 20 years from now. I think I can hold up my end of that deal.

3. Capacity to step-up and be an adult.
Remember when we were little and being grown-up seemed so incredible? We could do anything we wanted at any time, carefree and able to drive to boot! Well, now I know it's not that simple, most of the time I still feel like that 15 year old girl who's unsure about everything. But yesterday, I set her aside. You see, I heard through the grapevine that an old college roommate's spouse had a rare stroke (and they have three little girls). She and I didn't get along so well, for reasons now that I've forgotten and must be unimportant. I messaged her through facebook, saying how sorry I was to hear about her husband's health, that I wished him well soon, and that I hoped she was alright. She quickly responded updating me on his condition and how sweet I was to contact her. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that stepping up and getting over myself was the right thing to do.

Meatloaf and Broccoli Cheese Bake

Need I say more? Let's get to it already...

Meatloaf
From my Comfort Food Cookbook
Serves 4

1 thick slice crustless white bread
3 cups freshly ground beef, pork, or lamb
1 small egg
1 tbsp finely chopped onion
1 beef bouillon cube, crumbled
1 tsp dried herbs
salt and pepper

*I have used ground beef and ground lamb on separate occasions. I vastly prefer the ground lamb version.

Preheat oven to 350F.

Put the bread into a small bowl and add enough water to soak. Let stand for 5 minutes, then drain and squeeze well to get rid of all the water.

Combine the bread and all the other ingredients in a bowl. Shape into a loaf, then place on a cookie sheet or in an ovenproof dish. Put the meatloaf in the oven and cook for 30 to 45 minutes until the juices run clear when it is pierced with a toothpick.

Serve in slices with your favorite sauce or gravy, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

Mushroom and Cauliflower (or Broccoli) Cheese Bake
From my Comfort Food Cookbook
Serves 4

1 medium head of cauliflower or broccoli
2 oz butter, plus 2 tbsp for the topping
4 oz white mushrooms, sliced
salt and pepper
1 cup dry bread crumbs
2 tbsp freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried parsley

Preheat the oven to 450F.

Break the cauliflower into small florets. Bring a large pan of salted water to a boil and cook the florets in the boiling water for 3 minutes (if you're using broccoli, you can just steam them until they are fork tender). Remove from the heat, drain well, and transfer to a large shallow ovenproof dish.

Melt the 2 oz of butter into a small skillet over medium heat. Add the mushrooms, stir to coat, and cook gently for 3 minutes. Remove from heat and add to the cauliflower. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Combine the bread crumbs, cheese, and herbs in a small mixing bowl, then sprinkle the crumbs over the vegetables.

Dice the butter for the topped and dot over the crumbs.

Place the dish in the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until the crumbs are golden brown and crisp. Serve straight from the dish.

Voila!

Upcoming Recipe Posts

Tuesday night we had meatloaf and a broccoli cheese bake.

Tonight we had stuffed butternut squash with this wine.

Heaven!!

All by myself...(almost)

As most of you know, Matt is gearing up for JourneyQuest. He leaves on Tuesday for six to eight weeks, leaving me at the helm (aside from my own trip at the end of the month to look at more houses). So with the impending desertion of L.A. for colder and wetter pastures, I've decided to make a list of things I'd like to do before I leave while he's gone. It's been pretty fun, actually, and there's quite a few things I'll miss (like 70 degree days in January).

Something else that he's left me in charge of that I'm looking forward to - a trip in late March/early April when he gets back! I can't wait to have time with hubby, especially when he gets home after being gone for so long. We were trying to figure out how to make wine country work, but it was just too expensive. Then, on Sunday, it hit me.

"Have you ever been to Arizona?"

*he thinks* "No."

*gleam in my eye* "We're about a six to seven hour drive from the Grand Canyon..."

And we knew, right then, that was our destination. And I'm so excited!! Just at the possibility. And I'm determined to have it be more than a possibility. I have always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, and I know I'd be wistful if we moved before I'd had a chance to see it (kinda like when I lived in Philadelphia and never went to New York City). Leave it to me to find rooms for under sixty dollars a night! The room must have a fridge of course, for all the food we'll bring in our cooler, and if breakfast is included, all the better. Of course, we don't know when he'll be back exactly, but having something to look forward to, aside from returning to the Pacific Northwest, is keeping me distracted from being all by myself.

And last, but certainly not least, congratulations to Jenny and Kevin (and Patrick too) on the arrival of little Fiona!

Squash: To like or not to like...

...that is the question.

When I was a kid, mom had a plentiful garden and grew all kinds of yummy veggies and fruits. One particular "thing" that I was never fond of but never disliked completely was squash. She'd steam and serve it with butter and brown sugar, which was fine, but the texture just always threw me off a little. I mean, I was a kid. I'd eat pretty much anything with sugar and butter. :)

Fast forward 20-odd years later and here I am faced with what to do with these butternut squashes we get from our organic food delivery service. I've never cooked squash, and was stumped as to what to do with it besides chili or just put it in my fruit bowl and let it look pretty. Thankfully, a list of recipes is included, and this one caught my eye. (Yes, Cindy, I took pictures for you!)

Butternut Squash Tart
Serves 12

Courtesy of Farm Fresh to You - contributed by April Paye

1 butternut squash (cut into 8 parts, seeded and peeled - note - I was able to make two tarts)
1 9 inch pie crust
3/4 cup evaporated milk
2 medium egg whites
1/4 cup granulated sugar
2 T light brown sugar
3/4 t ground cinnamon
1/8 t ground nutmeg
1/8 ground cloves
1/4 cup chopped cranberries or blueberries (optional)

Preheat oven to 400F. In a large pot, steam squash pieces until fork tender (I steamed mine for about 20 minutes). Drain and mash with a fork or blender.


Press pie crust into 9 inch pie pan. Set aside. Transfer 3/4 cup of the mashed squash to a food processor or blender (reserve any remaining squash for another use).

Add milk, egg whites, sugars, spices, and puree until blended.


Spoon mixture into prepared tart shell.

Bake 40 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack. When cool, garnish with fresh, halved berries before serving, if desired.

The finished product!

Results. NOW.

**Disclaimer: I'm grousing, no need for advice. I just need to get this out. **

We've made many cuts in our finances these last few weeks. The savings will show up. But I want to see them NOW. I'm not a patient person when it comes to money. I'm just not patient in general.

And we've really changed our lifestyle over the years. We have both made large sacrifices. I'm cranky, grumpy, and not wanting nor able to make any more changes. I want to see results for the efforts we've made. Is that too much to ask for?

Gratitude #24

1. Savvy Computer Techs. I'll be talking to one soon about getting my computer hooked up to NWAG's server and inventory system. Fingers crossed that all will work out smoothly. At least he responds to my emails in a timely manner, and I'm grateful for that.

2. Reconnecting with old friends.

3. Deodorant.

Cuban Grilled Chicken Salad

With Matt and I getting this weekly produce delivery, again, it's just making and encouraging us to eat better. And I have to say I'm surprisingly satisfied!

Unfortunately, our avocados weren't quite ready for eating yet, so we had to make do without. This salad pairs very well with a hearty Viognier.

Also, I put the pineapple on the side rather than on the salad. It was a delicious dessert!

Cuban Grilled Chicken Salad

Ingredients:

• 3 cups chopped romaine lettuce
• 1 small red onion, diced
• 1 (6 ounce) avocado, diced
• 1/2 cup red or yellow bell pepper, diced
• 3/4 cup canned black beans, drained
• 3/4 cup diced fresh or canned pineapple
• 2 cups cooked chicken meat, chopped
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic
• salt and pepper to taste
• 4 teaspoons fresh lime juice

Directions:

1. Toss the romaine with the onion, avocado, and peppers in a large bowl. Divide among four salad plates. Top each salad with a mound of black beans, some pineapple chunks, and the chopped chicken meat.
2. Whisk together the olive oil with the garlic, salt, and pepper. Drizzle this dressing over each salad along with a little lime juice.

Gratitude #22 and #23

1. Chocolate

2. Wine

3. Homemade Soup

4. Sunlight

5. Smiles

6. Spreadsheets

Yeah, it's been that kind of day....

Butternut Squash and Turkey Chili

Trying to eat better is an interesting process. I'm surrounded by decent fast food and lots of good restaurants, so motivating myself to not only cook but use ingredients I'm not familiar with presents a very different challenge. I've only cooked butternut squash once and it didn't turn out well, so I was a little hesitant trying this recipe. However, it turned out really well and I'll definitely make it again! Matt's been numming up the leftovers all week, so that's definitely a good sign!

Note: I used one can of kidney beans and one can of great northern beans. Also, I cooked the chili for about 30 minutes instead of 20.

Butternut Squash and Turkey Chili
(serves 12)

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 pound ground turkey breast
• 1 pound butternut squash - peeled, seeded and cut into 1-inch dice
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1 (4.5 ounce) can chopped green chilies
• 2 (14.5 ounce) cans petite diced tomatoes
• 1 (15 ounce) can kidney beans with liquid
• 1 (15.5 ounce) can white hominy, drained
• 1 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• 1 tablespoon ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon garlic salt

Directions:

1. Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Stir in the onion and garlic; cook and stir for 3 minutes, then add the turkey, and stir until crumbly and no longer pink.
2. Add the butternut squash, chicken broth, green chilies, tomatoes, kidney beans, hominy, and tomato sauce; season with chili powder, cumin, and garlic salt. Bring to a simmer, then reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the squash is tender, about 20 minutes.

Gratitude #20 and #21

The Hollywood Sign from the Griffith Park Observatory. Beautiful!

It's been a busy few days! Lots to be grateful for. :)

1. Being a tour guide. Sam and Phil came to visit us for a few days, and yesterday I got to play in L.A. with them. So much fun!

2. Rain. Being a tour guide, you hope your city shows itself off well, and L.A. shined yesterday, my friends, it shined. Because of all the rain, the views were so clear and L.A. was beautiful and impressive. I was proud!

3. Barney's Beanery in Santa Monica. They serve Kona Longboard beer (draft!) and at happy hour it's just $2.75. Two, please!

The pendulum at the observatory. I had fun watching it swinging back and forth, telling time.

4. Griffith Park Observatory. So amazingly cool! I can't wait to go into the planetarium.

5. The Getty Center. Amazing architecture and a serene garden, with stunning views of West L.A.

6. Time with the hubby. With the looming pre-production/filming trip sneaking up on us, every moment with him is precious and fun. We're laughing a lot these days!

Gratitude #19

1. My hubby. He makes everything better by taking care of me. Especially by going to get dinner when I've had an awful day.

2. My girlfriends. Near and far. They are the best. Just wish I got to see them more often.

3. Sleep. My friend with benefits.

Gratitude #18

1. Having the flexibility to leave work early. This means I can come home and take a nap. Must be the clouds, I'm exhausted.

2. Guests coming to visit. Not only do I get to catch up with friends, but it motivates me to clean up our apartment!

3. Earplugs. Makes the busy street outside a little quieter. Only a little.

Gratitude #17

1. A savings account.

2. Rain which makes the colors in L.A. simply pop. It's beautiful today.

3. Sleep. Sleep is wonderful.

Gratitude #16

Don't be fooled by the cuteness...

1. This pet-stain/smell remover. We have tried a host of products, which make our place smell clean for awhile. Now it's possible that we've just adjusted to the whiff of kitty pee on the carpet (even with pee pads he can miss), but I swear this stuff works. The true test will be when Sam and Phil visit us next week!

2. My own perseverance. I got my weigh-in results from bootcamp. I gained a pound but lost 2.5 inches and 2.29 pounds of fat! Go me!

3. Advil. Nothing like it to relieve a bad sinus pressure headache in the middle of the night.

Smart Shopping

Ok, ladies and gents, I have a question for you:

Matt and I are really working on our budget, and we find we spend quite a bit of $ on food. We do our best to buy what's on sale, but we have effectively cut corn-syrup out of our diet, as well as caffeinated sodas (ok, ok, I'm down to 1 or 2 per week). We are also much more conscious of where our food comes from, especially vegetables, fruits, and meat. I know that coupons can save a lot of money, but the coupons seem to be for food we don't normally buy, much rather eat. So does anyone have suggestions on how to move forward?

Meanwhile, I'm seriously considering cutting our ground-line and when Matt leaves to film JourneyQuest, I'll most likely cancel Sparkletts and just get a Brita water pitcher, both cuts combined, we will save over $100 per month.

Progress, baby...it's all about progress...one day at a time.

*Later on today I signed us up for fresh and organic veggies and fruits (excluding potatoes and a few other items we don't like) to be delivered weekly to our little home! At $31 per week, it will seriously help us on our grocery bill. Then when Matt leaves for 6 weeks, I can cut it down to every other week.

Gratitude #15

1. Day-Quil.

2. Chicken Noodle Soup.

3. LOST Season 5 on Demand on Netflix.

Gratitude #14

1. LOTR Trilogy. A lovely way to spend time with hubby on a cold, windy, rainy day.

2. Rain coats. This one I inherited from my mom's closet and I love how cozy it feels when the rain tries to pummel it's way through cloth.

3. Smoked Salmon. How yummy it tastes in a salad. I can't wait to move back to the PNW where we can eat fresh fish on a more regular basis. Farm-raised and colored fish just doesn't cut it.

Gratitude #13

1. Fitness Bootcamp. When facing another battle with depression, which happens a couple times a year for me, exercise is the key to "feeling normal" even when all I want to do is curl up in bed and have another good cry.

2. Free lunch at work today from The Chicken Lady. I've never been to her place, but I hear it's divine. Today is a fried chicken sandwich and mac/cheese kind of day.

3. The rain in SoCal makes for crazy and entertaining weather, that's for sure. It could be worse, folks!

Gratitude #12

1. Friends who listen. I am very lucky to have them in my life.

2. Dr. Heidi, my amazing chiropractor who helps me get back on track.

3. I'm not looking forward to Matt being gone for 6 weeks, but it does give us an excuse to go away for a few days next month so we can have some time to ourselves. I can't really complain about that.

Gratitude - #11

1. The rain. I don't mean to sound hokey or anything, but it helps me cleanse my spirits a little. Trips to Seattle are always fun, and always a little hard. So many memories. It's hard sometimes to always be cheerful when I come back, and the rain...well, it kind of re-centers me.

2. Matt at Dude Night means I get to watch hours of uninterrupted Grey's Anatomy on DVD.

3. MIL's recipe for Hamburger Soup. It's one of the ultimate comfort food recipes.

Grateful #10

1. My dad took on our oldest cat, Rudy, when we moved to L.A. five years ago. Five years later, Rudy is alive and kicking, with a few little health problems. My dad may complain about having pets, but I'm grateful that he loves Rudy so much, and that Rudy equally loves him right back. They are quite a pair.

2. Patience is not my strongest virtue, but 2 and a half years of therapy really helped me out in that department. Really proud of myself for not totally losing it tonight.

3. My wonderful hubby keeps me centered and grounded. He is the awesome.

Gratitude #8 and #9

Being out of town without internet access can interrupt the Gratitude listings, so here I go, making up for lost time!

1. Dinner at McCormick and Schmicks. Best. Crab and Artichoke Dip. Ever. French Silk Pie? Heaven.

2. The rain. Love and miss the rain. Keeps everything green and the air fresh. Remind me of this when I move up here and start complaining, ok? :)

3. My dad cracks me up. Parents drive us crazy, yes, it's true, but he is such a character. If you've ever wondered why I'm an actor at heart, all you need to do is meet him. I call him my acting coach for a reason.

4. Our realtor, Jamie, is awesome-possum. So savvy and smart. Knows exactly what we're looking for and is on top of her game.

5. The gas furnace in dad's den. Keeps me oh-so-warm during these freezing cold PNW nights.

6. The Majestic Bay Theater in Ballard. Heading there tonight to see Sherlock Holmes. It's been beautifully remodeled and every time I go back I feel as though I've stepped into a time warp. It's the most beautiful movie theater I've ever seen.

Gratitude #7

1. My dear dear friend Brie being not only on time to pick me up at the airport but waiting for me as I left the gate area! What a nice surprise!

2. My dad may be a basic cook, but there is nothing better than this old fashioned meal - steak, potatoes, and broccolini. With a cinnamon roll for dessert. Yum!

3. I am grateful that Cafe Apassionato is a short drive away for said friend to drop me off at when I get locked out of said dad's house.

Gratitude - #6

1. I'm helping out on Matt's latest project and having a great time!

2. A purring kitty on my lap helps chase away crazy people that intrude on my day.

3. I have 2 rain coats, which should be enough for my last-minute trip to Seattle tomorrow.

Gratitude #5

1. Netflix On Demand. Best. Thing. Ever.

2. Sunshine and summer temps in January. Does it get any better?

3. If my crazy boy cat is going to pee on the carpet...well, at least he uses the pee pads...

Gratitude - #4

1. I am feeling SO much better this morning. Grateful for a comfy bed, earplugs, and soft pillows.

2. I am grateful that my hubby trusts me enough to go house-hunting without him this weekend in Tacoma. I am grateful that he trusts me so completely to find our next home.

3. Grateful for Hansen's diet peach soda. It's the only thing I can eat right now.

At the last minute last week, I planned a trip back to Tacoma to look at some more houses, and I'm hopeful that something will come up. I am not really looking forward to the freezing cold, but then I'm just going to have to adjust in small doses I guess. I fly in Thursday, go into the office on Friday, house-hunt Saturday, and leave Sunday. Whew!

I came down with a nasty case of the stomach flu night before last. Horked 4 times in less than 8 hours - no fun. I have not eaten anything since Saturday night except for water and hansen's diet peach soda. Watching tv and movies help keep my mind of the nausea, but I finished all my Grey's Anatomy discs from Netflix and am bored with our current selection of movies at home. Guess this is where Netflix On Demand comes in. Needless to say I'm not going into work today, and who knows about tomorrow. At this point it would be nice to not feel like "ick".

Gratitude - #3

1. I am terribly sick with the stomach flu, and if it gets any worse, well, I'm grateful to have health insurance so I can go to the doctor.

2. I am grateful for my amazing hubby who stayed home to take care of me, and bless his heart, didn't get too grossed out while I horked 4 times today.

3. I am grateful that hubby also enjoys musicals as much as I do!

Gratitude - #2

1. I am grateful for Cindy, who instilled in me a love for cooking and new recipes!

2. Our cats may be psycho but I love them and am grateful for how much they make me laugh, and for their unconditional love.

3. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. 'Nuff said.

Year of Gratitude

My friend Jenny has a great idea - to make 2010 the year of gratitude. I agree with her, that I too, get stuck in the monotony of what I don't have as opposed to what I am grateful for. So, every day I'll be posting 3 things I'm grateful for, and I encourage you to list in the comments or on your own blog what you are grateful for too! I know that 2010 is going to be a big year of changes not just for me, but for Matt and I. I want to remain positive and excited about the future, and unfortunately, I've been a bit of a negative nelly this first week of the new year. Time to shift gears!

1. I have not one but two jobs. In this economy, so many people are struggling to find work, and I have been blessed with these companies trusting me to get work done efficiently and in a timely manner. I couldn't be more grateful.

2. My weight loss. I was 20 pounds heavier when we moved here in 2005. Much of it was depression and not caring about myself or what I looked like. I still struggle with "weight loss" but don't believe the scale is accurate. I work out, I do my best to eat right and drink enough water. I am (and should continue to be) thankful that I've lost what I have!

3. These amazing people that are my friends. Far and wide, silver and gold. They have enriched me in ways that I didn't think was possible.

Late night thoughts

I can't believe it's 2010 already. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty happy to see 2009 leave. I love how I feel at the start of a new-year: hopeful, happy, energized, and goal-oriented. It won't last more than a few weeks I'm guessing, as that's the norm, but that's ok. I know that lots of changes are ahead this year, and I'm super excited to see when they happen.

Naturally, the first big change is that we're working with a realtor up North to buy a house in Tacoma, WA. It's a huge decision, prompted mostly by us wanting to return to our roots. We also have the opportunity to contribute more financially if we move up there, never mind that we'll be closer to our family and friends. We won't be building air miles so frequently, but that's ok. We have dear friends in L.A. that we will miss terribly and need to visit. It's good that we still have some left, though, as my in-laws are living in Turkey and we'll need to visit them at some point. Darn! I'm also excited about being closer to family around the holidays. We just never seem to have enough time when going up to Seattle/Tacoma for just 1 week. People always get left out, and while they are kind and say they understand, it's tough to be so far away from so many that we love. But that doesn't mean that leaving L.A. will be easy. Oh no. We thought we'd be moving in February but unless we find that perfect house and perfect loan (ha), we will more than likely be moving in April or May (March is out since Matt will be filming). That gives me a little more time to visit the beach a few more times, go on a couple of hikes, and most importantly, enjoy what I do love about L.A. - year-round farmer's markets, 70 degrees in January, beautiful beaches, funky bars, good food, wine country, and most importantly, our friends.

Over our trip, I got to talking with my sister (who just turned 20 in December) and her friend about being in the 30's versus being in the 20's. I explained that for me, and many of my friends, that being in the 30's isn't as bad as it seems - rather, I prefer this age than my 20's. I seem to be so much more at peace with myself, more honest and carefree, less inclined to give a crap as to what others think. There is so much freedom in that frame of mind! The 20's were so chaotic, it was hard to figure myself out. And while I'll spend the rest of my life figuring myself out, because let's face it. life is what happens while you're making plans, at this point in my life, I'm quite pleased with where I'm at.

Happy 2010 to all!

Checklist

1.  Realtor?  Check.

2.  Lender?  Find house first.  Then decide. 

3.  House?  Looking on 12/29.  

4.  Living in the present and not focusing so hard on what hasn't happened yet?  In progress.

Distracted

I can't seem to keep focus. I just keep dreaming about the fabulous houses we'll be looking at with our wonderful realtor at the end of the month. I can't seem to get much work done. At all. At least the workload is mildly light and I have blogs like Emilie's to keep me highly entertained while I plug in numbers during the afternoons.

Calm Before The Storm

So most of you know that we're doing all we can to move to Tacoma in February, yes?  

Ok.

We are supposed to be hearing from two more lenders this week about pre-approval and a grant program that would give us extra $$ towards our down payment, closing costs, or whatever.  We are pretty sure we've picked our our realtor but want to meet with another one just to be sure.  We narrowed our favorite houses from 25 to 10 to 4, most of them being in the vicinity of Fred Meyer and 6th Ave.  :)  We are taking a first-time home buyers class on the 28th in Parkland.  

It's a crazy time in my head these days and I'm really grateful I've been exercising so much (even though I'm the weakest in my class - grrr) because otherwise no one would want to talk to me, much less comfort me when I call all stressed and anxious because I'm trying to learn about what's going on.  Too many terms and numbers were floating around in my head last week.  

Oh, and on a completely different subject, my in-laws have a blog about their adventures in Istanbul!  You can read it here.  Enjoy!

Big News!

Dear friends and family,

We know that much of this will come as a surprise to you. Most of you know that we've been seriously considering a move back to the Pacific Northwest for the past six months, maybe more, maybe less. In any case, that dream is about to become a reality! We just got pre-approved for a house this week in the Tacoma area and are starting the process of buying a home. Right now we are still working with a few other lenders to try and get the best rate possible. We are also meeting with a few Realtors while we're in town at the end of the month, and it is our hope that while we're there, we'll find a couple of houses that we love.

If everything continues to happen as it has been, then we'll be moving in February. We'll miss our family of friends here, and I know I'll miss the warmer winters. But in order to move on to the next phase, we need to make a major change. And we're excited for what is to come!

Much love,
Camille and Matt

P.S. One favor to ask of you. Please don't post anything about this on Facebook as Camille has not told her employers yet that she is leaving. Thank you!

-insert title here-

A few major decisions have been made but nothing to be updated yet.  Still in the waiting process. 

I wish I could say I've been busy, but my part-time job doesn't have much going on for me now, which is going to make the holidays a little financially challenging (looks like people are getting recipes in a jar again this season).  

I've been to my new fitness bootcamp several times in the last three weeks - only missed one day - and I can already feel the difference.  Now if I could only see it.

Booked our tickets for Christmas, we'll be in town 12/26-1/2.  Hoping to see PNB's Nutcracker and visit with family at a cabin in white pass.  Wondering what to do for New Year's.  I think crashing someone's party sounds like fun.

It's great to have Matt home.  I missed the giggling in the morning.