Hanging in there

Sorry for the bullet list, but I just can't think right now.

• 3 cats on 3 different kinds of food. PJ on wet food because he has bad teeth, needs to gain weight, never mind he's also on inflammatory meds for his chronic pain in is vertabrae that fused together; Quinn needs a high fiber diet and has to lose weight; Bean is still young and healthy...how are we supposed to manage this, especially when we're out of town for the next 2 weekends?? Kind of panicking here.
• Work is very hectic and busy, but at least the days go by fast. I barely have time or energy to blog these days.
• We're going to Solvang this weekend which will be a welcome escape from the busy city. Next weekend I'm taking a few days off work and we're heading up to Napa for Matt's cousin's wedding. We're sharing a hotel room with his aunt and uncle from Washington which I'm looking forward to as we hardly ever get to spend time with them.
• Katie went to her senior prom a few weeks ago, still waiting for pictures...
• Must get back to work, loads to do, but at least now we're moved in.
• Oh, and I'm back under 160 pounds! Just 15 to my goal...
• One more thing - Did anyone else watch the season finale of LOST last night? WOW.

Who really enjoys moving?

We move our offices today. Finally! After 2 weeks of packing and putting up with co-workers asking me for stupid stuff, we'll finally be in our new office. It's really pretty, and I will have natural light coming into the reception area. Before and after pictures to be posted this weekend. Unfortunately I do have to go back to work tomorrow morning but it will just be me and my boss, and we're going to get things put away. It should only take a few hours. That way when I go back to work on Tuesday, I can be more organized and help everyone else get settled.

These last few weeks I've been blessed with very patient friends and family, and I have to single out my husband. What a trooper. I've not been easy to live with and I made a promise that after this weekend, I'd seriously work towards being happier and not bringing my job home with me. Part of that will entail 20-30 minutes of quiet time when I get home.

Um, I remember this but not really...

(Photo courtesy of Paige. l-r: Paige, Cindy, me, Mary)

I don't remember the last time I went roller skating. Well, now I do because a few weeks ago, Matt and joined Paige, Mary, Don, and Cindy at Wump Skate, a fantastic once-a-month themed roller skating event where you can skate to your hearts content. Read Paige's blog for more details. I can't wait to go back, it was a blast! My favorite part was when Matt said "Oh, I suck at skating, I'm going to have a horrible time." Yeah right. The man is a natural!

One of the most interesting parts of skating after at least 10 years of not putting on skates, was the feeling of my mind and body trying REALLY hard to remember what to do, and I'd have moments of bliss, where it was like muscle memory, and then I'd suddenly get out of it and nearly fall on my butt! It was awesome!

At peace...for a little while

Do you ever have those moments where you get fantastic news and then the right song comes blaring over your car speakers as you're driving home from work? That happened to me on my way home today. I can't share the good news just yet but it does have to do with a project that Matt's working on. After all this time, it feels like the both of us are on the cusp for this new decade, I feel like everything is slowly but surely finally coming together.

And it feels really good!

Overwhelmed and overloaded.

• Relieved though, because the landlord is going to take care of that awful cat-peed-on carpet in the next few weeks. Soon we'll be able to have friends over again. I can't wait! I have requsted that they treat the wood underneath, or let me do it. I don't want to have to go through this again.
• Our office is moving upstairs one week from today. I'm so sick of packing and it makes me cringe of the thought of moving into a house this fall or winter. No more boxes, please!
• Work is very stressful with all that I am responsible for - including packing up all the office files. Luckily we're getting all new furniture. I should lose about 5 pounds in the next week from the stress. Not the best way, but it will get me off the this plateau.
• Tonight Matt and I are going to see his favorite group play in West L.A. The Proclaimers - 500 miles anyone?
• Sunday includes a much needed bike ride in Venice Beach with Cindy and Mary. Anyone else want to come?
• And did I mention it's supposed to be 100 degrees for the next four days??? Thank goodness for central a/c.

Scientology

Well, what an interesting way to spend Mother's Day.

A friend of ours came to visit from Seattle. She has been part of my life for many years now, and she happened to be in LA overnight on her way back from a Mexican Cruise. She has been studying and learning about Scientology for many years now, and decided to stay overnight at the Celebrity Center, just 4 blocks from where we live. She invited us to brunch along with her godson, Chris, and that's just what we did today.

I spent the afternoon at a Scientology Center.

It wasn't what I was expecting, and yet in many ways, it was.

First off, the architecture was beautiful. All the rooms were very welcoming and open, beautiful furnishings, and the "ora", if you will, was very positive and calm. Everyone seemed friendly and welcoming.

BUT.

And that's a big BUT.

L. Ron Hubbard is everywhere. On nearly every wall, there's some sort of explanation about his methods, about dianetics, the difference between dianetics and scientology, and how one is extremely separate from the other. We got to try out an e-meter, which consists of the tour guide asking questions to help you pinpoint sources of stress and negativity in your life. I was very protective of myself the whole time, not really wanting to open up because I honestly felt like they were trying so hard to sell this to me. And I wasn't interested. Of course, I was happy that our friend wanted to share this with us, she was so happy and excited. And I guess that's really what the afternoon was all about - being open to something that I may not understand, and spending time with someone who has been very influential in my life.

Tired but having fun

This last week has been such a blur! Paige is here now and I think we've gotten together every single day this week. It's been so much fun having another Washingtoninan here, and showing her around town.

I realize that I haven't posted any adventure type photos for awhile, but believe me when I say the most hysterical video is on Cindy's blog right now. It sums up our wekeend celebrating Don's birthday.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I've been struggling with my thoughts and feelings this year quite a bit, trying to figure out if what I'm feeling now will ever go away, will ever slightly subside. Last night I had a "let go"crying fest, talking about my dreams where she had visited me, what I missed about her, and that it's just not fair that she's gone, trying to work through all of this. I also know that I have grown leaps and bounds from this, it is a profound experience, affecting all aspects of my life. Selfishly, I wish she was still here, but honestly, I am just relieved and happy that she is finally at peace. I would love to be at peace, but what I have discovered is that those of us who are left behind will find peace when it's time.

It's May?? Already??

Seems like just yesterday I posted this!

On Friday Don turned 30. And surprise! Nathan and Jessica, 2 very dear friends from Washington, showed up at lunch. Sneaky Cindy had arranged the the whole thing and watching Don's expression of "holy crap!" was really fun. We celebrated the whole weekend with lots of beer, barbecuing, gaming, guitar hero, and ended with seeing "Ironman" at Sherman Oaks ArcLight. Added bonus: Paige moved down! She got a roomshare in Valley Village just 1 block away from the community garden that Katy belongs to. It's a great place for Paige, and I'm just really excited that she's here.

Weekend plans include ripping up the carpet in the bathroom. There's enough cat pee to smell up the whole place and I'm just sick of it. So, I'm calling my landlord this week and letting him know that this is what we're doing, whether he likes it or not. I just can't take it anymore. First thing Saturday morning, I'm off to Home Depot to get a decent knife and suggestions on what to do. I also need to figure out if the floorboards are saturated, which they probably are, and how to get the smell out of them. And is it worth it to replace the carpet or just cover it with area rugs until we move? Ideas? Suggestions?

P.S. Lena, thank you for your email, you are so sweet. Sorry I haven't responded yet, but I will! xo

Mother's Day

I understand for the majority of people, this can be a happy holiday. Celebrating moms is a wonderful idea and concept. I don't want "rain on people's parade" so to speak, but I have the feeling that each year, this is going to be a difficult time for me because I'm constantly bombarded with commercials, email blasts, and even the drug stores scream "BUY MOM SOMETHING!!! DON'T FORGET HER!!!" I just find it really annoying that at times when I'm at peace, suddenly my personal space has been invaded and I can't help but flash back to what I'm missing. Granted, I have a wonderful support network: best husband ever, friends, and family. But nothing can ever replace her, and I don't appreciate being reminded when I don't want to talk about it.

Whoa!

As of April 23, I've been blogging for 3 years. I wonder how long I can keep this up? :)

It's difficult to go back to those early posts, mostly because there's stories in there about Mom, and what a hard time I was having when we first got here. But I love that our journey has been documented so thoroughly and it will be such an interesting story to share with family down the road.

Thanks for reading!

Not a happy camper

I've been sick since Wednesday thanks to that candidate who came in the the flu Tuesday night. I wanted to yell at her to go home, but instead I ran to the back offices as fast as I could. Too late. We've had so many people, staff and candidates, come in sick that I think my immune system just couldn't take it anymore. It started off with a touch of the flu and is now a head cold. While I'm feeling better I'm still not 100% and to top it off my sleeping pattern is totally off thanks to these 4 hour naps my body has been craving.

In addition, PJ is at the vet until Monday due to a high fever and a limp that the vet couldn't see (because PJ was so scared at the vet, he didn't really walk, he just did that cat hunker down thing). So while I'm a little freaked out about the cost of all this, I'm more concerend about my kitty and hoping that he's going to be ok. I honestly believe it's an infection due to the limp, but you never know. We just have to wait and see.

Happy Birthday, Aunt Constance!

She is turning the big 95 today!

Aunt Constance is forever labeled in our family as "The Pink Lady". Every year, at any event, she'd be dressed in a pink suit, or a lavender suit (with a pink scarf, or have a pink purse)...even at our annual apple cider pressings she'd be there in all her glory - makeup, scarf, pants suit, heels - washing apples with those attractive bright yellow dish gloves on. They almost seemed to appropriately accesorize her outfit.

She is my Mom's aunt, sister to my Grandpa Wesley (who died when I was in high school). I don't know her well, but every time we talk she's so honest and chatty. I adore her.

Unfortunately this year, she'll be spending her birthday in a skilled nursing facility recovering from a fall and knee surgery. She's due to be out of the hospital next month, so here's hoping she'll be able to celebrate in style, pink ribbons and all! :)

Don't feel like filing...so you get to read a survey!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My first name was found in a baby book. But my middle name is after my Grandma.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last week, over stupid stuff.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Most of the time. Wish it looked like Kari's though!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Do cats count?

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I'd like to think so...

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes, especially now that I've been with Matt so long (love you, sweetie! And no, I'm not being sarcastic. GEEEEZ!)

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Heck no!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Grown-up healthy stuff: Peace Cereal (maple). Kid stuff: Golden Grahams.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Mentally? For the most part, though I have times where I want to shut down. Physically? Working on it...

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Personal hygiene. (ditto)

15. RED OR PINK? Red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My weight. And the ability to just shrug off stupid people.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My mom. Everyday. All day. (again, ditto)

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Better yet, post it on your blog!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Gray pants, black shoes.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Chocolate cake from porto's! It's admin day! :)

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Hum of the lights...wow, it's super quiet.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Saltwater, hubby after he's bathed, clean doggies, good food, desert wine.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? A candidate calling in available.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I've never met Kate, but I think she sounds fabulous.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Nada. Baseball and soccer on occasion.

27. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown.

28. EYE COLOR? Brown.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yessirree!

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Fresh seafood, steak, pasta, yogurt, homemade raspberry jam.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. (ditto)

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? "21"

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black. (ditto)

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? In Seattle? Summer. In L.A.? All the other seasons. :)

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs!

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Lemon bars.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No idea. (ditto)

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No idea. (ditto)

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? "Economic Hit Man" is in the title...see list to the left.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Some dust.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Law And Order: SVU

42. FAVORITE SOUND? Matt's laughter!

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? A little bit of both.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Italy.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Ummm....

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Group Health Hospital, Seattle, WA

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Everybody's!

Snow?? In April??

I just got back last night from a quick weekend in Seattle. Dad turned 60 on Saturday and we had a great party. Tons of food, drink, and conversation to be had. I was so happy to be there and Dad had a great time, which was the whole point! Pictures to come so stay tuned...

And, yes, it snowed every day I was there. Sunday included snow, hail, and sunshine!

I slept great the whole weekend and even on the airplane, but last night stunk. It's going to be an interesting day at work as my fuse for this place is getting shorter and shorter every day...

Difficult conversations

I had to call my aunt due to my feelings about possible occurances at my Dad's birthday party this weekend. She gave me tough love, things that I didn't want to hear, but I knew she was right (I spoke to someone about this on Monday, you know who you are, sorry I didn't hear you then!). She said "Call your Dad, find out what's happening, and then talk to Katie. Keep me posted."

Well after all that, possible occurances are not happening but I did tell Dad some things that wer very very hard. And while I feel good about having "grown-up" a little bit more, every time that happens I feel a little lost and a little sad, like I've lost part of myself. I don't know that I can explain it very well. I do know that in the past six months my relationship with my Dad has grown leaps and bounds. But in some ways, I feel like retracting to the thought of "This wouldn't be happening if she were still alive." And I know that's a bad thought, because it will stunt my ability to move on. But it's only a thought, and I can overcome my thoughts/feelings and do what's right.

H.O.T.

High of 95 today, and probably at least 90 yesterday. Yesterday Don, Cindy, and I joined Jeremy and Katie at the Ren Faire. It was great to see one for the first time, and had fun watching the participants and all the parades. I think I would have enjoyed myself more had I not been wearing a black skirt and the fact it was frickin hot. Definitely need to plan a day at the faire when it's not 90 degrees.

Today, my allergies have kicked in. I took some loratadine and am feeling a little woozy. I've been a sneezing fool for the past few hours. Needless to say, my husband thinks I look quite sexy now with my red nose and puffy eyes.

I feel like yuck.

Presenting: An Island Dinner complete with music!

I wonder if we'll be allowed back in next time we visit?

Before!

(I just love this picture!)

Ah, like father, like daughter.

A picture of my dinner for Cindy.

...must...drink...

After!

And, the grand finales:

Commercial Interuption

(If you're interested to see what we were up to last weekend, check out Cindy's blog!)

• Bare Minerals: I LOVE this foundation! Holy cow, my skin looks like it's glowing and it's so easy to put on. I don't really need anything else with it, but at work when I put on the whole kit-n-kaboodle, I feel really confident, and love the way my skin feels.
• Lather's moisture mask: My skin is really thirsty these days, with the heat, the seasonal changes, and not drinking enough water. I found this moisture mask a few months ago (main store is in Pasadena) when my skin was going nuts. Now, I use it a few times a week and my skin feels so much better. Bonus: it smells good!
• Seacret body lotion: Great lotion, smells amazing, and isn't heavy or overly perfume-y (is that even a word?).
• MAC makeup: Thanks to Katy, Cindy and I had a chance to get made-over at The Grove on Sunday. My guy showed me how to apply everything, and it takes almost no time at all. The best part? It stays on all day and even better, I feel confident and Matt even likes it!

Some of my favorite shots from Catalina

Approach to Avalon!

My sister, the rock star.

(The yellow building in the back is our hotel.)

The view from our hotel room.

OMG! Dinner AND beer? It's too much!

(stay tuned for pics from dinner - it deserves recognition)

View from the pier.

Local homes.

Dad with a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Mom had designed a window just like it, and it's now in a church in West Seattle. This was a beautiful moment for our family.

The Catholic Church in Avalon. Beautiful!

A fresh start

I'm a bridesmaid in October. Both the bride and the groom have lost a significant amount of weight and I do NOT want to be the "chubby bridesmaid". So, with that in mind, last night was my last evening of pigging out. Today I start taking care of myself with motivation of being one of the 3 hot 'maids at that wedding! My plan? Yoga 2x a week for 20-30 minutes to start, followed by a hike or walk on the weekends for 20-30 minutes. My stamina is pretty week so I have to start slow, but it's better than nothing. And the best part of this plan? FREE! :)

Tonight Matt won't be home when I get home, so I'll be able to enjoy my Rodney Yee DVD in peace and quiet. Same with Wednesday evening. Then Saturday morning I'm up early early for a hike with Mary and Cindy. Finally I can see this great trail that Mary's been telling me about!

A busy busy week with pictures to prove it!

Thursday night, the gang had a craving for Mexican food so I obliged and we went to Matt's favorite place on Sunset Blvd. called El Chavo. Dinner was fantastic as was the company and our surroundings. Matt and I will definitely be back, hopefully with friends in tow as we are eager to share this local treasure.

Matt and Dad - what a pair!

The lovely decor.

(a picture of my half-eaten dinner for Cindy.)

Pictures of our weekend in Catalina to come, as well as our new big toy.

A new favorite

Dad and Katie flew in last night. Katie came down with a bad cold just before the trip, so she asked that we go out to a restaurant that had Pho. Well, I wasn't sure that Dad was a big fan of Pho, so I asked my co-worker who lives in Silver Lake (a nearby neighborhood) if she knew of any good places that also had alternative choices to Pho. She reccomended Gingergrass, and since Matt had been there once and really liked it, we decided to give it a try.

Oh goodness.

First off, the crowded restaurant was a little daunting as my Dad is hard of hearing. But a crowded restaurant often means good food. We were seated right away and after Matt arrived, we ordered our drinks. I got the ginger limeade, Katie got Vietnamese Coffee, Matt got the Gingerale, and both Dad and Matt got a gi-normous beer.

For dinner, Matt, Katie, and I got the chicken Pho. Normally, Pho portions are gi-nourmous but this place served it in the perfect sized bowl. It was delicious and hit the spot. Dad got wok noodles with shrimp. For dessert, pan fried banana rolls (essentially an egg roll without the egg, bananas stuffed inside, and drizzled with chocolate).

We can't wait to go back!

I donated!

Well, in cash terms. I can't donate blood...I get woozy just thinking about needles.

My friend Melanie is participating in the Relay For Life in Bozeman, MT. Now I haven't participated in any sort of cancer walks yet because it's still too painful. But Mel said that she'd walk for me and in memory of my Mom. So I wanted to encourage donations to her personal page. Her goal is just $100, and she's already a quarter of the way there.

And I'm going to stop here. I'm at work and tearing up.

Good friend, steak, wine, and an amazing view...

Dinner is served!

My skirt steak fajita...mmmm....I should make these again next week!

The lovely Cindy, everyone!

Can you believe that this view is FREE??

Well, sort of...there is that nasty rent check due every month...

"A fantastic evening, we say!

Now let's go bake some cookies for game night tomorrow..."

We're off to get our drink on!

Well, not right now. But at 5pm you'll know where to find us!

Let the warm weather continue!

I love warm weather. Mind you, the L.A. summers are a bit much when the numbers hit the triple digits. But being able to be outside, at night, in MARCH, with no sweatshirt, is a feat I never thought would be possible!

Cindy came over the other night since our boys were out on the town with fellow DG Nathan. We cooked some fajitas and enjoyed a nice glass of wine on the rooftop deck. Pictures to come!

I really hope that the weather holds up because I'm venturing out to Pasadena to attend an outdoor spoken word event with Kari. Bonus - it's free! And since Kari is a Pasadena native, she knows good and inexpensive places for lunch.

1 week until our weekend getaway - I can't wait!

I have been working on losing weight - my exercise program is non existant at this point - BUT...guess what? When we moved here I weighed in somwhere around 180 pounds. Now I'm down to below 160!!! I honestly can't remember the last time I weighed under 160 since I got married. Maybe the first few years of marriage? I'm really thrilled that this is working and a regular exercise plan is in the works. Maybe? I hope. But progress is progress no matter how you look at it, and I'm way excited! :)

Fabulous Farmer's Market!

Ah-May-ZING!! I had such a great time and I was grateful to have (a) a limited amount of cash so I couldn't go completely crazy; and (b) Katy and Cindy at my side, reminding me that we would return next week and I didn't have to buy everything in site.

Katy's bag was full of fabulous goodies. Mostly everything crammed in there is hers, but I did manage to find some items that needed to be in this bag as they needed to remain cold and it was quite warm out (I was really glad I put on sunscreen).

I seriously was this close to taking one of these orchids home. But decided they were prettier from afar and that watching my kitties destroy them would just be too heartbreaking.

(And I'd just like to say that editing pictures and copy on blogger stinks because this looks so much nicer in the posting section. The last 2 pictures are actually in the right order.)

(P.S. I realized a few weeks ago that I have a fantastic camera that we got for Christmas and this blog is called "Adventures in Hollywood". Except I never take any pictures and the adventures mostly seem to be in my head. So this trip to the farmer's market wasn't just for good food and fun in the sun - it's also the start of sharing what we experience every day...or at least on the weekends... *wink*)

Spring is defnitely here.

How can I tell?

Allergies. I just love sneezing all the time. :)

The birds wake me up on a Sunday morning when I just want to sleep in.

70 degree days.

One of my favorite things is the actual green Hollywood Hills that I can see from the 101 freeway. Because of all the rain during the winter, spring is actually quite pretty this year!

What the eff?

What is up with the cost of food these days? My god, I spent $88 at the store, and came home with 4 paper bags, barely full. Granted, I got healthy-good-for-us-food, and I think it's really disturbing that good, nutritious food is so friggin darn expensive. It really bothers me. And I know that Trader Joe's is a better deal, but I can only go on the weekends, (and don't make me tell you how much I despise each and every Trader Joe's parking lot) which means long line and a very crowded store.

Let me just say that I'm even more excited to go to the Encino Farmer's Market with Cindy and Katy tomorrow. I hope to make it a weekly excursion, supporiting local growers and farmers while getting good food at a decent price. Isn't that how it should be?

And, while we're on the subject of grocery shopping experiences, I must share this tale:

I was at my local store, perusing the breads, when this man completely let a loud fart go. Right in front of me. Clearly he was embaressed and I didn't look at him, I just kept perusing the shelves. But as soon as he turned around, I headed the other direction and made a face. How gross!

I do have a smidge of good news. At Amoeba Music last night, I found 2 soundtracks I've been anxious to add to our CD collection: Sliding Doors and French Kiss. Both used and total cost was under 15 bucks!

Feeling unsatisfied

I just want to say that if I'm going to spend my time searching for parking, paying a nice sum of money for 2 movie tickets, being up late, and spending a good amount of my time with strangers, the movie should be satisfying. I'm a little disgruntled because the last 2 movies I've seen in the theater seem to have ended quite abrubtly and I've left feeling unsatisfied. Granted, the cinemetography, the acting, the sets, all the rest of it was amazing, but the storytelling at the end just wasn't there. In either of them:

There Will Be Blood

and

No Country For Old Men

Did I miss something? Please tell me if I did because I'm seriously wondering if both these movies were nominated for best picture...I must have missed a key story element. That has to be the only explanation.

...can't think of anything snazzy...

Last night though Matt and I were oh so snazzy. We went to one of our favorite restaurants last night, Hamburger Hamlet. Now, I've lost some weight due to portion control but last night I stressed-ate like nobody's business! A glass of wine, the Marilyn Burger with a turkey patty, french fries, and caramel apple cobbler. I was so incredibly and happily full last night. I wasn't even hungry this morning. People brought in donuts and bagels this morning - I'm not even going into the kitchen - I don't need to be tempted.

I love Thursday evenings after counseling. Matt and I see individual counselors (he goes 2x/month, I go every week - guess I'm more screwed up, hahaha :) and then we go to dinner afterwards. We are so open, our walls are down, and we just talk. And talk some more. Then we laugh, and giggle, and get weird looks from tables nearby. But I don't care because it's that time with your spouse where you are in your own world, it's just the 2 of you, and it feels absolutely amazing. Then we go home and get LOST for an hour...by the way, did anyone see last night's episode? What did you think? I love where the show is going now! My dear aunt Sharon is having foot surgery and is bed-ridden for the next three days, so I sent her seasons 1 & 2. I hope she likes it.

Anyway, moving on...

You must must check out Jenny's blog for the most adorable videos of her son, Patrick. I'm in love with that kid, and I haven't even met him yet.

And Cindy got a job!! Yes!!! Congratulations!!!

Matt is feeling better, thank goodness. The combination of ear drops and anti-biotics are helping his right ear hear again, which is helpful. Not so much for him, though, because now he can't use the excuse "I can't hear you...." and then I hear a little chuckle. Nice try, hon! :)

Two weeks from today, Matt and I are heading off to Nipomo to stay at our favorite bed and breakfast for a weekend of "I don't care if we can't afford it, we need some time alone outside of the city." I. Can't. Wait. And instead of spending a ton of cash on wine, we're going to explore the region a bit more, maybe get in a few hikes, and try some new restaurants.

The last weekend in March, my Dad and my sister will be in town. I even got that Friday off so we can head to Catalina for a night! We're staying here and I think a massage or a body wrap might be in the near future...

Glad to be home

This morning we had a bit of an adventure. Matt woke me up in the middle of the night saying "Camille, I need you to take me to the emergency room." I went into caretaker mode and we got to the hospital in 15 minutes. As always, our stay was delayed for whatever reason, waiting for the doctor, the diagnosis, the prescription, etc. Because Matt hadn't slept yet due to the pain from his ear infection, the doctor also prescribed him some Vicadin, which Matt promptly took and was out by the time we got home. This morning I slept in, called work, and said I wasn't coming in at all. I'm glad I made that choice, even though I felt guilty because I had asked for a day off later this month (family will be visiting). I called my Dad, and asked him as a business owner, did I make the right decision? He said absolutely. Family comes first, and this is just part of life. At the moment, I'm glad I stayed home because the anti-biotics are making Matt a bit woozy and sleepy, which means I can play caretaker for the rest of the day.

And I have to describe the woman that I saw today at the drug store when I came to pick up his prescriptions:

Black Mercedes, freshly washed.

Giant black sunglasses.

Fluffy cute white dog on her lap while she's driving through the parking lot.

Fancy jewelry.

Make-up.

Furry fuzzy trendy boots.

Really? For the drug store? I felt really underdressed at that moment in my baseball cap, jeans, and t-shirt.

Well, aren't we a fun couple?

Matt's sick. Very sick. A nasty cough coupled with some other ongoings that I won't discuss, it's been a great few days. I'm quite tired and slightly annoyed at having to work away from home and cook and clean all by myself. And try as I might to be understanding and patient, yesterday I just told him to deal with my attitude as I was doing the best I could. It doesn't help that early in the mornings he starts to cough, which keeps me awake and eventually I can't go back to sleep and I drag my tired self out of bed at 5am.

To our game group: We'll let you know if we're up for coming over later on today. Right now the answer is "I just want to sleep and get better."

In other news, my job is going better. I had a serious talk with my boss and without going into too much detail (I'll just freak out again), I need to shape up or ship out. Considering that I can't really afford to "ship out" yet, I've requested and received some more training and now have a clear sense of what my responsibilities are. It's really helpful and now my big task in these next few weeks is to manage my time better and make sure I can get everything done. The only thing that bothers me is that I had to request this meeting. Managment saw that I was going down hill and instead of talking to me directly, they went through my desk and left notes everywhere...how professional is that? So now I'm checking in with my boss once a week regarding any issues that have come up. And if any of my co-workers start complaining to me about how I said something wrong, that I didn't pick up the phones fast enough, that they're out of coffee, I'm just going to say "I apologize, and if there's something that I'm doing wrong, please let Jennifer and Steve know." Because the serious stuff, my boss already knows and we've already talked about it, and what they are complaining to me about is really, just petty crap. And it's certainly a good feeling to know that your manager is supporting you.

I'd also like to say that if I make a mistake, we talk about it and then move on. I am a perfectionist and hate making mistakes. And there's no need to bring up something that was resolved weeks ago in a staff meeting - it's embaressing and infuriates me. If it was really that big of a deal, you could have come to me and we could have talked about it in private with the boss.

Well, I still have an hour before getting ready for work. I think I'll pop in a Yoga DVD. Gasp!

Don't want to do chores, so I'm posting pictures instead...

Liz and I being silly.

PJ and Quinn canoodling on the bed.

Little Ms. Bean after her surgery. Poor thing had to keep the cone on for 2 weeks.

The gang, from L-R: Don, Cindy, Katy, Jeremy -

over for a football playoff game...I don't even remember who was playing!

Good Thoughts

In fighting depression, I remind myself in ways I am fortunate and all the good things that are in my life:

1. I have a fabulous husband, who is supportive, caring, handsome, funny, and all-around great guy. Words can't express how lucky I am to have him as my partner.

2. I have a great circle of friends, near and far, old and new, that are never too busy to get together, to be open to new things to do, to listen and talk, and they are so much fun.

3. My family is amazing. I couldn't ask for better in-laws, and my Dad, despite our somewhat rocky past, we're forging ahead in more of an adult relationship, which is great. And my Aunt Sharon...I really don't know what I would do without her....

4. I have a job, and these days that's more than so many people have, which is unfortunate because I know many talented and wonderful people who need work and either can't find anything or the companies aren't responding. If I take pride in my work, things will be a lot better.

5. I have food to eat, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head. We have the necessities covered.

Everything else is just stuff.

Simplify.

And it will be ok.

AUDIT!!!

We're getting audited at work on Monday so yesterday was a 10 hour day and today is 11 hour day, wooppee. :P At least I'm getting things done, and I hope we get a better score than last time.

More updates later, must get back to work now.

Blech

I'm home sick today. Everyone in our office has come down with something, whether it be one or a combo of both: cold, sinus infection, flu, and bronchitis. Guess it's my turn. It's not full blown which is why I'm staying home. I have a sore throat and feel a little achy, so I'm going to try to nip this in the bud. It works out, though, because Matt can drive to his temp job this morning and even offered to go to the store afterwards. What a guy!

Our hearts and thoughts are with our friend Katy who's grandmother is in the hospital. We hope that she will get well soon.

Working Man

Matt got a temp job! :) I'm so happy and so r.e.l.e.i.v.e.d. This means we will have extra money coming in during February and be able to send a sizable check to pay off more of that blasted credit card company that keeps sending me bills. He's working at another assignment today, moving boxes, and I couldn't be happier.

I love my sweet, awesome hubby and true, he does write/work from home. He works very hard, and I have come to realize that it's not his fault that he's not making money at writing - it's the industry. The nature of the entertainment industry is to make you send random scripts all over town, and then wait for someone to call you back. Well, he doesn't work that way and so is actively seeking projects with those that are familiar with his work and are willing to compensate him for his time and talent. It's awesome how we celebrate when he gets a temp job/paycheck from a producer...I am so proud of him!

What's the deal?

Issue number one: I want to know why there seems to be an influx of people dying in just these last few weeks, not to mention last year. A old college friend, her mother passed; Schteffi's bf, his grandmother passed away; A's husband's grandmother, not to mention her 3 grandmothers all last year, Heath Ledger...death seems to be on the mind lately. I checked a few other blogs and there were recent posts about beloved ones lost long ago or recently. I found out yesterday that my new co-worker, her mom had passed 4 years ago and our COO's mother had passed this month...all this mourning and yet celebration of memories...I'm really trying to process all of this.

It's never easy, no matter what the circumstances. Expected or unexpected, the loss is hard to fill and we just want them back in our lives...I guess that seems like a pretty selfish statement, but really, isn't that what part of grief is about? Figuring out how to move on without them?

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost loved ones, be it recently or long ago.

Issue Number Two: THE RAIN. I know we need it but come on now. Our old car is making squeaking noises because the brakes and belts are so wet from driving through the standing water. Not to mention, I can't seem to stay dry for very long. This isn't Seattle rain, this is dessert downpour. Please let it stop soon. Cindy needs to take her dogs for a walk, not to mention we want to go on another hike!

Weekend Update

This weekend was really fun, and we spent the majority of it with our friends Cindy, Don, Katy, and Jeremy.

We got off to a very healthy and active start with us girls heading off to the Paramount Ranch in the Santa Monica Mountains for a hike with the doggies. When the dogs got out of the car, the first 10 minutes or so were spent picking up "presents" they left in the parking lot. We headed off to the trail head and came across the set from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman which was really neat except they had all the windows boarded up, which was a bummer (another bummer is no pictures - I forgot mine and Cindy's batteries died). But we moved on and found a trail head...

...that lead to a bunch of dead trees to walk through. Then Katy tood Max off his leash and he bounded off up in to the hills where we couldn't see him! Katy called him back and instead of going around the fallen dead tree, he decided to climb through all the branches. He was so cute trying to figure out how to get back to "the boss", scuffling around and finally he got a determined look and just dove right under it, I wish we had a video of it, he was so much fun to watch.

During the hike I got quite a few lessons on how to be a doggie mommy, for when Matt and I get a dog someday (We dream of a Corgie named Parva), and got some great tips from them on how to walk a dog the "Dog Whisperer" way, but it didn't quite work. Cordy and Seamus didn't recognize me as a boss so I took the backpack from Cindy and let her walk the doggies, which worked out well for all of us. When I was walking them, it felt like they were walking me!

After the hike, we piled in the car only to discover that Max had ticks! The off-road doggie had picked up a few friends along the way and unfortunately one buried himself near his leg. So we pulled over at a fire station and got some oil and matches...to make a long story short that didn't work and we got the thing out at Don and Cindy's place, only to discover that Cordy had one too! I was really impressed with the level of calmness that Cindy and Katy had while handling Max and Cordy.

Saturday night we got together at Don and Cindy's house for a night of gaming as Cindy wanted to try out Teensy (sp?), her new charater for the campaign. As it turned out, Matt hadn't created his character fully, but that was ok, and we had a great time implementing all these charater's peronalities...tonight the story continues and I'm really looking forward to it.

Sunday I ran errands and we hosted the gang over for the AFC championship, rooting for San Diego (and they lost, of course). Some of us were not interested in football so we played some card games. By halftime, it was obvious that the Patriots would win so we settled for watching some TiVoed episodes of South Park, American Dad, etc. It was really fun to host, especially since Jeremy and Katy hadn't seen our place before. Bean offered additonal entertainment as she has that cone around her neck due to her recent surgery.

This weekend Paige/Stephanie is in town and I can't wait to see her. I'm not sure what we're going to do, but if it's not pouring I think a day trip to the beach will be involved.

Customer Service

I'm not going to reflect on the phone conversation I just had because that means the snoody caller will win. In light of my personality make-over, this is really to find out why I reacted the way I did.

Every once in awhile, we all get a snoody caller or visitor, someone who is agressive and eventually cops an attitude. When I sense this, I immediately get defensive and incredibly nervous, as if they're a bomb about to go off. I revert back to childish ways of handling these situations, and then after it's done, I can't seem to let it go. I feel guilty for not living up the level of customer service I generally have, think of phrases that would have been more useful, etc. And I just have to take a few deep breaths and let it go. But there's this nagging sense that I've failed somehow, and in the grand scheme of things, this isn't really a big deal. AT ALL. So why is it that I react this way? Why do I let the little things get to me? I have some ideas, but they aren't exactly blog-appropriate.

All in all, I think I do a pretty good job here, and need to remember that maybe I didn't help one person today, but think of all the people I do help each day, and the repoire I've generated with so many of our candidates. That's what I need to focus on.

Brain Rumblings

I have been having some thoughts lately, some good, some bad, and I'm not sure what to do with them.

First thought is my resolution to talk less and listen more...I don't know if it's working. Each time I catch myself yapping, I wonder if I'm talking selfishly or about a topic that is of interest to people? Frankly, mostly what I talk about seems to be negative, and I don't want want to be a negative person. It's mostly frustration with some people in my life, and trying to figure out how to best approach them next time I feel frustrated. But most of the things that do urk me tend to be little things, then the little things build and then I just explode. That's not healthy. So it's up to me to find ways to let this out, and I think surrournding myself with positive people, continuing to search for new job opportunities (I have an interview on Tuesday, we'll see what happens), enjoying the moment, and developing a realistic exercise plan will be highly effective in my "personality makeover" for 2008.

Second thought is how much I want my own business. For many of you, this is the first you've heard of it, but Matt has known for years how much I would love to run a bed and breakfast. I love to host, and I've been told I come alive when I have a group of people at my home. For Christmas, Matt got me a couple of books on running a B&B, and so far, it hasn't scared me off. In fact, it's just gotten me more motivated to develop a rough business plan.

There's a phrase that really gets to me - "It's not personal, it's business." To me, business is personal. You don't have to be buddy buddy with everyone but you can be professional and respectful. And that's what I have been missing in my last few jobs. So for the new year, I made a resolution in my current workplace - I have been working on my attitude. Being more friendly but professional, curt but nice, and it seems to be working. People are responding and in a positive way, which makes me want to continue to improve.

I know the kind of person I want to be but still be myself. I am making my way through my grief and I need to remember that this is a day-to-day process.

Tummy Troubles

My recent post on Cooking Kama Sutras:

Since this is a cooking and thus food based blog, I shall spare the details. But be warned that my future recipes, at least for the next month, will be citrus free. This includes no tomatoes, limes, lemons, onions (I can only have them if they are well cooked), and I'm also supposed to avoid chocolate and caffeine...hah! One list at at time folks.

I must say I didn't realize that tomatoes are in practically every pre-cooked fast-food at the grocery store so this will be a challenge. This leaves out most foods where I get my natural vitamin C plus most Mexican and Italian dishes - my favorite kinds! Alas, I will be challenged in my tiny-kitchen to come up with non-tummy-abrasive dishes that are still tasty.

Stay tuned!

Frickin Money

That's the nice way of saying it.

With the writer's strike still going strong and the cost of living skyrocketing, Matt and I are having to get creative on how to save money every month. Now we've had these conversations before and while we can be good for a few weeks or even a few months, something always happens where we fall off the wagon and then scramble to get back on.

Writers Strike = hiring freeze. Golden Globes = loss of $10 million for our city, and that's just one day. Everyone is affected, whether you're in the industry or not. It's not happy. And not. getting. better.

With that, we've decided to cut out some things:

1. (Sorry Jenny) Bikram Yoga. I. love. it. But it's costly and frankly I don't go enough to offset the cost. I will use up the sessions that I have left (and no, I didn't go on Sunday, but plan to go on Friday), and then find free things to do until we have the budget for yoga.

2. Cable. GASP! I know. I'm so excited! But there's hardly any new shows coming up in the next few months, and honestly, all of them are streamed on the web (which we'll do only if the show is a must see) or we can get them from Netflix on DVD. I am thrilled because I am a re-run junkie and this will free up my time to live life and get things done around the home. I have no self-control when it comes to TV, but when it comes to movies, I must make the time to sit for 2 hours. It's weird.

3. Eating out. Once a week, perhaps twice at the most. Though I did hear a report on NPR that the cost of eating in is getting so expensive it's almost the same as eating out. However, there is a certain feeling of satisfaction when cooking a meal for our little family. Of course, my weakness will always be eating out at lunchtime because I absolutely must leave the office. The phones drive me nuts.

With constant communication and support from one another, I know Matt and I can do this! :)

Reflections

The community of Blogs is an interesting one. Through one I find another and another, until I've found a host of internet friends - people that I knew in college or another time in life, and people that I know only through the online world.

So today I visited a site that is always fun to read, and clicked on a blog that is written by an old college friend.

I read that her mom died suddnely on Saturday after a stroke.

The first thing I thought of was "What do I say?" It's a strange feeling, knowing what someone must be feeling, but not exactly. I got the chance to say goodbye, knowing Mom wouldn't make it past the month, whereas her Mom passed away so suddenly. All I could say was that she should grieve her loss and celebrate her Mom's life in her own way, and to rely on those who have rallied around her.

I wish I could say "I can't imagine what you're going through" except that I know, and there have been so many moments in just this new year where it has hit me and I can't make the tears stop. It's just so blasted unfair sometimes that I can hardly stand it. And it's not fair. At all. And while I know that part of getting older is saying goodbye to those who raised you, it just seems so unfair to say goodbye when they are just beginning that second part of their life, where you think you might have kids sooner rather than later, where you can begin to really enjoy your time together. And then they are gone. Whether you're with them and it's expected, or it's sudden, it's never easy, it's never really "expected". I always hoped and wished for a miracle, that she would get better, that her spirit and body would survive and we'd all be ok, life would go back to the way it was. But it never will, and so we must live with this hole that may be patched but never filled.

All in all, I just miss her. I can still hear her voice saying my name, that she loves me, calling me sweetheart, and her laugh. But as my college friend said, "I was lucky to have her for as long as I did."

Girls Night Out

As I posted earlier, Michelle took me to see Kathy Griffin at the Kodak Theater (couldn't get pictures inside, they took my camera!) and we had so much fun. Below is the two of us just after wolfing down dinner. All the restaurants at Hollywood and Highland were full so we found a little French Dip place that would have tasted better, I'm sure, had we not scarfed it down while practically running to the theater. Above is a shadow of Michelle doing her best post in front of the restaurant where we had dessert after the show. Just below the pepsi sign is the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, and thus explains Michelle's fabulous pose.

I miss her already and I hope she comes back soon for another visit!

Our furry friends - aren't they cute?

From top to bottom:

PJ asking to play, hiding while I'm making cookies;

Quinn sleeping on the tower, playing with the camera;

Bean sleeping after a long day of play.

Mah-belle

My good friend Michelle is in town from Alaska. Poor thing is all on her own as I am stuck in the office trying to make up the money that I will lose from not having enough vacation days - I hate vacation policies - but nonetheless it's been so fun to have her here! Tuesday night we went to the Grove and had dinner at a Greek Restaurant. Apparently they don't have a greek eatery in Anchorage, so it was a treat for her and we introduced her to Spanikopita. Yum-o, if I do say so myself!

It was then off to Victoria's Secret's semi-annual sale where I found some cute and appropriate every-day undergarmets and then to meet Matt at the lobby of the movie theater. We saw I Am Legend. Has anyone else seen this movie? If so, what did you think? I heard reviews of it's either you love it or you hate it. Well I loved the first part but then after awhile, it seemed as though they switched writers and I was really disappointed. But the first half is totally worth it and I remembered why I don't see movies with zombies - I hate being terrified, especially at the movies.

Wednesday night was gaming night at Don and Cindy's and that was very fun. Michelle had never seen a D&D game before (believe me, I am still a noob) and I always enjoy introducing friends to each other. Cindy made a fantastic chili from Cooking Light and Michelle brought Apricot beer. In addition, we had quite the dramatic night for our characters!

Tonight Michelle is taking me to the Kodak Theater (where the Oscars might just happen, who knows?) to see Kathy Griffin. It's not so much for the comdienne as it is to just sit in those seats that grace the rear-ends of Hollywood stars.

Awake

This happened a few months ago where I had a stomach ache for 2 days. Now I'm awake in the middle of the night after hardly any sleep with another stomach ache. I've taken some Tums and drank some milk, it's not going away. It's quite uncomfortable and all I want to do is to go back to bed, but the pain is quite distracting when trying to fall asleep.

It's going to be a long day.

New and improved

In the new year there is always talk of what our resolutions will be and these always, almost always, fail for me. I love the start of a new year, the feeling of wiping the slate clean and setting goals for myself. I have some ideas of what I'd like to do this year, some are on my own, some are with Matt, and some deal with relating to other people.

• Listening more and talking less. I really feel that I'm always talking about "memememe" and to be a better person and friend, I really need to listen to what people are saying.
• To have a date night with my hubby at least once a week. I miss spending quality time with him.
• To work out when I have the energy. Every year I say "work out 3x a week" but that almost never happens. So, whether it's yoga or my ballet video, I'm going to shoot for 2-3 times a week and do the best I can. It's also about portion control and drinking more water, which contributes to feeling better about myself, especially when I step on a scale.
• To take voice lessons. Check! My first voice lesson is with Katy on Sunday and I'm really excited.
• To find what I do like about my job and focus on that. To take what I have control of and run with it.
• To develop a draft of a business plan for a bed & breakfast.
• To find a new job, even if it's later in the year.

I guess my goal is to become a better person, but still be myself and not be afraid to just be who I am, while still learning from my friends and family, and embracing each day as it comes and not panicking about the future.

Matt's New Year's Kiss

My husband the hussy. He'll make out with anyone! Many girls can complain that they have no one to kiss at midnight on new years, and I had no idea Cordy felt so strongly about my husband. Look at her go!'

A minorly disturbing point is that Matt doesn't push her away...

Back to work

Luckily it's only a half day which means I have about 4 hours to get caught up on all my paperwork and then Wedensday (day off tomorrow, yes!) I can focus on purging all of our old files. I guess it's good to be back, though this morning I could have slept in a little bit more.

Katie has been in town for the past few days and it's been fun to have her here. Yesterday we went shopping for the after- christmas sales and had fun, though after about 3 hours we'd had enough. We watched Hairspray and ordered in Thai food from my favorite place, Pink Pepper. Today we'll have lunch when I get home and then she leaves tonight at 6 for a new year's party in Seattle. Such the jet-setter! Tonight Matt and I will head over to Don and Cindy's for an evening of food, fun, and games. I'm looking forward to it!

Have a happy and safe New Years celebration!

Home again

Well I'm back in L.A. now and after cleaning up after the kitties (having been home alone for 4 days with no humans) - to which I will not describe in detail except to Matt - I have a sore back and the starts of another cold. Tonight I will dine on Thai food and catch up on movies. Tomorrow holds a trip to Rite Aid, Ralph's, and Cindy's Birthday Dinner! I hope to have our new digital camera charged and ready for tomorrow's celebration. If not, the old one will have to do until Matt gets back and can hook it up for me.

It's windy and blustery tonight. On the plane, the pilot announced that it was 62 in Burbank to which all the passengers sounded their joy. What he forgot to mention was that it would be terribly windy and cold upon landing at the Burbank airport! Oh well. After yesterday's 29 degree high, this feels like the Bahamas.

It's good to be home.

Merry Christmas!

I can't believe it. It's SNOWING. What a special gift! Had we stayed in California we wouldn't get to experience this wonderful moment with Matt's family.

Happy Christmas to all and to all a Merry night!

Much Better

This year's holiday is much better. Less stress (aside from the flat tire on our rental car...sigh...) and more fun. The only thing I have noticed is that it has been raining ever since I arrived aside from some brief sunshine on Saturday in Tacoma. I don't miss the wind and the rain together...that damp cold that takes forever to warm up from. But I do miss the green, our friends and family. It's been a wonderful vacation. And an extra bonus is that I got all my Christmas shopping done earlier than expected so I don't have to go to the mall today. Phew!

Today we are at Matt's parents house and I will spend most of the afternoon with Nancy, making cookies and the breakfast brunch casserole for tomorrow morning. The kid in me always comes out on Christmas morning. I can't wait to see what "Santa" has left under the tree, though I already know what a few of the pretty packages hold.

I hope your holidays are as smooth as possible and you're having fun with your family and friends!

Tail of a kitty

Rudy.

Our big tabby. He lives with my dad and my sister now, and he's kind of a diva/bully. A diva because he knows what he wants and he'll wake you up in the middle of the night to get it, or stand on your chest just as you're waking up to get some food (when he already has some in is bowl). He also has this really funny meow that Matt and I call the "diva meow." Mind you, this is a 20 pound cat, and when he meows, it sounds a little pathetic. He almost squeaks, and his lower jaw wobbles. It's quite adorable and amusing, and the first time he did it as a kitten, Matt and I in unison went "AW!"

He is a big of a bully, however, and gave my sister's cat, Coconut, a bit of a serious injury where she had to have surgery a few weeks ago. He's a tomcat, always needing to be first in the pack and in charge. I know Matt really misses him, but Rudy really enjoys his life here and is able to be outside which is something we would never be able to give him. Plus, there is no way we could add another cat to our mix. No thank you! If we ever got a house, then maybe, just maybe, Rudy could come to California....maybe....

I write this because guess who woke me up at 7am and decided he needed some food when he already had some in his bowl?

Northwest Bound and the big 18

Well I'm here and believe it or not, the rain decided to take a break. Not that it's sunny, mind you! It's completely overcast and chilly, but I love it. It feels completely normal. Now ask me tonight when we go out to dinner at Todai, ask me how I'm feeling when I go to bed in the basement, shivering under the covers and asking Dad if we can turn on the heat. I shiver just thinking about it!

The flight went really smoothly after we found out it was delayed for 50 minutes (apparently due to the Seattle weather, hah!) As most of you know, last year we did not have a Christmas tree at the house which I found rather upsetting. So this year, on the way home from the airport, we stopped by a place near Greelake and picked one out! It's outside now, drying off and we'll decorate it tomorrow with a friend of Katie's who's never decorated a tree before.

Today is Katie's 18th birthday, which is just amazing to me. I remember when she was just a baby, holding her for the first time at the hospital. I remember her having 2 boyfriends in pre-school, and her love for math at the very start. She is a great person and I love how spirited and independent she is. Happy Birthday, lil' sis! :)

Sign of the times

From the Macy's website:

We'll be right with you.
It's a little crowded in here right now, and to make sure everyone enjoys shopping with us, we're asking new visitors to wait here a few moments while other shoppers finish up. We'll refresh your browser and welcome you in momentarily. Thanks for your patience!

Ah, this is the life

When I think of Hollywood, I think of glamarous pah-ties, fast cars, lavish gifts, and cool clothes.

I do not live that lifestyle.

BUT

Now I can tell you that I have been drunk-dialed by my hairdresser at 12:30am.

Conversation (and her 3rd phone call):

Me: Nicole?

Nicole: Hey babe, where are you?

Me: Are you okay? It's 12:30.

Nicole: (woohoo's in the background) Yeah, I'm good. What are you doing?

Me: SLEEPING!

Nicole: Well go back to sleep then.

*click*

And now I can't stop laughing! I got drunk dialed. WOOOHOO!

Wish List

Dear Santa,

Just a few little things this year....I don't need anything really, I have a roof over my head, a job, food in the fridge, and a wonderful hubby. These are just things that would make life a little more fun and a little easier...

A counter top spice rack. This one would be particulary helpful as we have little counter space and I'm having to store our spices in 2 different places.

Gift certificates at any of the following places: Togo's, Sephora, Ann Taylor, Macy's, , Bikram Yoga Silverlake, Bath and Bodyworks, The Arclight.

The following movies on DVD: Hairspray(2007), Anne of Green Gables, The Bourne movies (Identity, Supremacy, and Ultimatum).

Clothing: Dress socks, black and/or brown dress pants, a brown coat that can be worn out and about and at the office, fun but solid color work shirts, shoes (size 7.5).

Random stuff: Kitchen towels, a springfoam pan, christmas ornaments, herbal or black tea, a tea set (link is just an example).

And a digital camera. Please?

Thank you and happy holidays! :)

Weekend update

I had a great weekend except for the fact that I didn't make it to yoga. What is my problem? Oh right. I'm l-a-z-y. Big surprise.

Friday night I went to bed at a decent hour after catching up on America's Next Top Model and Project Runway via TiVO but as usual woke up in the middle of the night but wasn't up for long. I got up around 7am, got some things done around the apartment, and headed off to Christmas Tea with Kari and Amanda. Poor Amanda's car doesn't work so she bused it out to Studio City where I picked her up and after dropping off Katy's book in Burbank, we headed out to Montrose's T-Room.

This place was completely charming and their christmas tea blend was really delicious. We found out that the owner orders it from Germany and she had to double order for this year because it's so popular. There were lots of goodies on the tray including a delicious turkey sandwich and fresh scones with devonshire cream. Yum! We windowshopped for a bit until I had to leave for my haircut appointment and it was back to Burbank. My hairdresser, Nicole, is awesome. I adore her. She gets that I don't take much time to style my hair, and she's so much fun to talk to because she is so different from me. She and her boyfriend spent Thanksgiving in Paris (yes, as in the Paris) and now she wants to move there. We gossiped about the other hairdressers, the men in our lives, and made plans to get together after I return from Seattle.

Speaking of which, I take off next Wednesday, which is also Katie's 18th birthday. I can't believe I can leave for for 9 WHOLE DAYS!! I'm more excited about that, I think, that actually going up North, but I'm sure the excitement (along with a little trepidation) will kick in once I get on the plane next week. Matt will join me up there on the 22nd. Already family plans have tied up the last few days of our visit, but that's ok. It's why we're there in the first place. Again, I repeat our saving grace will be the rental car. Freedom = sanity. And I mean that in absolutely no offense to any family members who might be reading. Matt and I need our own time during these family visits, and often times the only way we're able to talk in private and have some quite time is when we're in the car driving to our next destination.

And on the note of my sister's birthday, any ideas on what to get an 18 year old? I'm old and totally out of the loop.

Wow, that was a bit of a tangent. Back to the weekend!

Let's see, after the haircut I dropped off the drycleaning and was home around 4. I had no desire to go to yoga after running around everywhere all dizzy darn day. So we tuned into a movie, played some games, and then...it hit...

...the worst case of indigestion. I don't know what it was, I don't care because it's gone now, but it took about 12 hours for it to disappear. I was distracted from it when we went to buy our fake tree though! Yes, we bought a tree and it looks so beautiful! I need to borrow someone's digital camera so I can take pictures. It's pre-lit with white lights. We bought some cheapie red and green ornaments, and then used our own to fill in the gaps. It reminds me of the trees Dad used to cut from our backyeard. You can see the "trunk" but it's utterly charming and we absolutely love it. So far, only 1 nice ornament and 2 cheapie ones have been attacked, but not destroyed.

Sunday, as predicted, I spent the whole day in my pajamas and did nothing. It was awesome!

And now, it's Monday. Sigh. Back to work. But only for a few more days!

It's FRIDAY!!!!

Thank goodness. Anyone in agreement with me?

Plans for the weekend include a Christmas Tea with Amanda and Kari, returning Katy's overdue library book (that I never even got to finish), shopping for christmas decorations, decorating the apartment, a much needed haircut at my favorite salon, and lots and lots and lots of sleep. Oh, and yoga. Can't forget that.

T-minus 12 days to trip to Seattle. Thinking of presents that I want to bring with me and which ones I'll shop for when I get up there.

My body and brain are completely exhausted, I can't wait for Sunday where we will be staying home. ALL DAY. I plan on spending it in my pajamas.

Not a good start to the day

• Boss chewed me out when I thought was being helpful but actually made things worse;
• Just found out that my friend's dad died suddenly;
• I've had it with snippy/snotty co-worker, ready to bite back at her next time;
• So frickin tired, have not been sleeping well again and will need a nap when I get to Cindy and Don's place tonight (will wake up when the session begins);
• Frustrated and frazzled with holiday plans, trying to keep up with all the changes and requests, and at the same time figuring out what Matt and I need and want to do;

It's just a bad day. I can take it. I can. I will not break down, I'm stronger than this.

400+ posts...

..and still going...

In conjunction with Jenny, I prefer to not air drama out on the blogs as this blog is quite public. I don't mind airing my personal thoughts out to you folks, but it's safe to say that I'd rather not "air my dirty laundry in public". It's safe to say that most of you know what's stressing me out these last few weeks leading up to the holidays and all I can say is that I'm dealing the best way I can, which includes some over-eating, a great therapist, getting back into my yoga regimen, good friends who listen to me repeat this over and over, and most of all, a patient, loving husband who puts up with my mood swings.

I talked to my Dad this afternoon on my lunch break and suggested that the 3 of us go out to get a tree together when I arrive on the 19th. I'm so excited! Last year was so incredibly different from all other Christmas days and to top it off, I wasn't really in the best of moods. We all tried so hard, but the year of "Firsts" is always painful. The holidays are especially rough because she made them so very special. Matt and I are now in the midst of planning with both families, sorting out who we will see when.

Is there anything that can make this easier?

Yes.

A RENTAL CAR.

Driving all over Western Washington, putting miles on someone else's car is my idea of fabulous. And since we may have to get a second car next year, it's a great way to try out some possibilities.