Breathe In, Breathe Out

I try to make a point of not talking about my job on the internets because I don't know who will see this, who is reading, etc. But let me make it known that there are times when I wish I didn't work from home, where I wish I was in an office. The distractions, the computer crashes, the fact we only have one computer and BOTH Matt and I work from home...Right now I'm unable to connect to our inventory database which is creating a huge backlog in my work. I feel useless and bored, waiting for my coworkers to get in touch with me. They are so busy and overwhelmd at the office, while I just sit here, trying to be proactive in creating layouts when I have minimal information to go on.

I need to be grateful to have a job in this day and age, grateful that my commute consists of going from my bedroom to the kitchen to the office, grateful that I have such a flexible schedule. But right now I'm frustrated, aggravated, and frankly, bored to tears. Depression starts to settle in, which makes me angry and more depressed. Depression leads to other thoughts that I'd rather not think about -- stupid comments I've made, Mom, Grandpa, and other stressful situations.

I just hate feeling useless. I have to move on from this. Create my own work somehow while my co-workers go about their day. But how? When I can't connect to the database??

Argh. I will move on. It's just going to take me a few days.

And we need to get another computer. This is getting ridiculous.

Going out!

The lovely Jen and Dave at dinner.

Teh-Don and Jen.

My sweetie and me! This is my new favorite picture of us.

Happy Anniversary, Don and Cindy!

The drug-induced haze continues...

Yet last night at dinner, I was on Advil and could still drink 3 mini-glasses of red wine without feeling silly. I think those anti-oxidants from the wine really helped beacuse today I am starting to actually feel human again. I still sound incredibly nasaly, and my ears are still sensitive to noise, but I'm hopeful that in a few days, or at least by the end of the week, that I'll be back to normal again.

Last night we had a wonderful evening with friends. Jen and Dave were in town from Seattle and we got a few hours to catch up on what's new with them. Don and Cindy were there too and it was their 5th wedding anniversary -- congratulations you two! :) I finally got to meet Dave's sister, Jeannie, and their friend Garrett. Jeannie lives in West Hollywood and I know we'll be seeing her again soon as she and I hit it off instantly.

Tonight I may be heading out again for a birthday dinner. It feels so good to get out of the apartment after being bed and couch-ridden for the last few days.

Living through the haze

(For Emilie)

I caught the flu and a nasty head cold the other day so I'm in a drug-induced haze right now. Thank goodness we have heat and internet so I'm not going completely crazy. And I have to say that Matt is the best nurse-husband hands down. What a trooper!

Fashion Week in Las Vegas was amazing - you can read more here. (I have to say though, never EVER stay at the Trump Towers. What a miserable experience, but girlfriends make it better.)

The cats have definitely calmed down since the move. Now that we have heat they aren't running around like crazed felines trying to keep warm. I'm actually overheating because I'm so used to wearing so many layers during the day. We also have internet now, so we aren't completely cut off from the world anymore.

Now, back to bed. Thank goodness for the drugs that take away sinus pressure and fevers.

New home!

This weekend the rain stayed away (thank goodness) and the 2 of us plus 7 of our friends (thank you!) moved our belongings to Glendale on Saturday. We are making huge progress on getting settled in. The place is definitely starting to take shape. It's exciting! I'm at Don and Cindy's now, using their internet connection because ours still isn't set up yet. No cable and no internet -- it's like we're stuck in the 80's! Anyway, I have to get going as Cindy needs the laptop back. Pictures and more updates to come later.

Gearing Up

We move a week from today. And I must say it's hard to think of leaving this place. Not just our apartment but this building. This neighborhood. When we first moved here I was so terrified and stressed out. Fast forward three and a half years later, and we've made a life here. Friends that are our family, weather that I can't live without, and jobs that we both enjoy (for the most part). So while I'm excited to move on and start anew, leaving this place will be a little more painful that the other moves. Our live in L.A. started here. But we have other places to go. :)

It is amusing to see how the older 2 cats, PJ and Quinn, know what's going on when things start disappearing into boxes. But Bean...she's kind of freaking out, though enjoying the jungle gym that the stack of boxes have created. It's pretty cute.

Self-Portraits

Sleepyhead

I don't know what is going on. Am I hibernating? What's the deal? Last night I slept 9 hours, the night before I slept 11, and the night before that I slept another 9 hours. Sleep has been a struggle for me these last few months so it's kind of a nice shocker that I can sleep now. Matt has been so quiet these last few mornings so I don't even wake up when he gets up (which is unusual, I'm normally a very sensitive sleeper). It's been great for my skin and those puffy circles under my eyes have been disappearing over the last few days.

But I'm finding that life as a lazy, sleepy teenager is not one that I want to live. Case in point --missing out on a get together this morning with friends. I'm ticked at myself because I was looking forwad to seeing them. I will have to make more of an effort this next weekend to see them, and not sleep in so late.

Work It!

I really committed to my workout this week. When I showed up this morning, my trainer commented that he was impressed with my turnout and asked what my motivation was. I said "Hawaii in May, that's my goal!" He nodded and said he'd help get me there. I feel so good after exercising. My stress level is down, I am more aware of what I'm eating, and I feel so much better about myself. My muscles are getting bigger too! I can definitely notice more definition in my clothes, specially my jeans. Matt pointed out that I've started losing weight again, in my face and neck. While I haven't lost weight, I've lost inches and that's huge. I feel so much better about my body when my clothes fit better. I find that I'm also inspired by all of my girlfriends who work out on a regular basis. We check in on each other, and that's so encouraging and helpful!

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

I feel like doing this too. But then I'd probably break the printer. And I wouldn't get a paycheck.

Early Morning Thoughts

(I'm going to miss our building! *sniff*)

I'm going to miss our neighborhood. I'll miss the 4-block walk to the store, the fabulous restaurants within walking distance (at least they offer valet parking so we can come back at any time), and the quirky people that live here.

I'll miss our neighbors -- Matt and Jessica and Steve and Wendy, and Jamie too -- They've all been fantastic. We watch out for each other, and even take turns watching each other's kitties when the others are gone. I can't lie -- having cat sitters just down the hall has been wonderful. But the friendships are what I'll miss the most -- being able to just call them up and see if they want to hang out, go to the store, etc. Even carpooling to various events is extremely easy.

I packed up my bookcase yesterday. It's so empty. A sad sight. This is real. We're leaving this place. I know we're not going far, but this building was our first home in a city where we didn't know anyone. Los Angeles terrified me in ways that I wasn't prepared for. I had panic attacks, sleepless nights, and plain ol' amazement at this city of millions. As far as our apartment goes, this was an upgrade that we needed at the time. We expected a bit more from the entertainment industry (hindsight is 20/20), and thought we could make this place work, financially. It's been a lovely home, and as with the other places we've lived in, it will be hard to see this one empty. (Except for the little Puyallup house. The best move we ever made was leaving that house!) But it's time for a new resident in this place, and hopefully they'll love it as much as we have over these last 18 months.

I'm really going to miss having a dishwasher. I have been thinking about how I have never not had one, so this will be a challenge for me. I'll have to clean up dishes as I go, that will make it much easier.

I'm not going to miss the chaotic sounds of the sirens wailing by all the time. I won't miss the crazy people down below, yelling and screaming at each other at night. I won't miss the sound of the commuting hours, with cranky people honking at eachother to move somewhere else, the sound of brakes coming to a screeching halt to either miss a car (thankfully) or else I get to enjoy the awful sound of mental crunching. Like the time I heard that hit & run? Fantastic. (Luckily no one was hurt.)

How does Matt sleep so easily? This drives me crazy! Of course he's been working really hard. Most of his time at home is spent getting ready for bed, falling asleep, and then getting ready to leave in the morning.

Brie and Steve, thank you so much for the wine from Europe! It's fantastic, and I just wish I could read the back of the label so I could figure out where to get more of this lovely adult grape juice!

Things to do:

My mind is just reeling with all that we have to get done in the next 3 weeks. And yes, while I work from home, I've actually had stuff to do and things to learn -- I'm not a graphic designer by nature so I'm learning as I go and it's fun but kind of frustrating -- this means I'm not sitting around all day twidling my thumbs and wishing for something to do. So the last few days, towards the end of the day, I've spent an hour to two hours on the phone with vendors. Changing the address, getting our new land line phone number, canceling Time Warner Cable (HECK YEAH!! They don't service our new city!! We have to stay in Glendale forever for this reason.), setting up new accounts, changing the addres with the post office, etc etc etc. Did I mention that we have to pay our new rent at the start of the month in addition to possibly owing about 1/2 month's rent to our current place? Don't get me started, it's 2am and I'm cranky.

In any case, I am very excited about our new place. For those of you on Facebook, I posted pictures of it unfurnished so you can see what it looks like. I'm thinking of getting some area rugs eventually, to add some warmth and color, but first we'll have to play around with the arrangement of furniture and save some money. After all, our checking account is taking a bit of an unexpected hit this month. But that's ok, because in the long run, this will all be worth it.

Thank goodness for fitness bootcamp. If I wasn't exercising regulary (in addition to going to my counseling sessions once a week), I think my head might explode!

Movin' on up

We got the apartment in Glendale! :) Current thoughts I'm having...

Thought of moving again - Ick...

Thought of no dishwasher - Eh, s'okay, we can make do...

Thought of more closet space - Yes please!

Thougts of hardwood floors - Love!

Thoughts of bathroom counter? - We can make it work.

Thoughts about saving $500 a month? - YES!!

We'll be moving at the end of the month. Emails will go out with our new address when the time gets closer.

Patience isn't a virtue of mine.

With the recession and Matt getting laid off from his part time job, our finances are incredibly tight. So this week we started looking around for cheaper places to live, something in the neighborhood that is much cheaper and could save us up to 600 bucks a month. So far, I'm checking out two places tomorrow - one in Glendale and one in Valley Village. Saturday we are going to visit one in Silverlake, and that's the one I really want. It's still in our neighborhood, the price is right, the area is adorable, and the apartment even has a deck! Not only that, we'd be saving over $500 a month, which is HUGE. So, again, I'm really excited and hope that it's the place we are meant to be, but I just have to be patient and see what happens.

Of course, all this talk of saving money means that we aren't eating out nearly as much as we used to. I'm enjoying meal planning much more and with my weight loss goal in check, I love looking up new and healthy recipes. Yesterday I went back to fitness bootcamp and while my muscles were screaming at me that it had been a long time since they'd been worked this way, today I'm not sore. At all. Which means I'm getting used to this! I'll certainly go back tomorrow, and plan on going every M/W/F for the next five weeks. I plan on going in February too, and then might cut back on the bootcamp so I can go to yoga more often. Again, I just have to be patient and enjoy where I'm at right now. At least I've gone down one dress size, and I'm feeling really good about that!

Holiday Letter

For those of you who didn't receive it, here's our end-of-year letter...

~ Camille & Matt's 2008 Holiday Update ~

2008 was a year of minor triumphs and enduring frustrations. It was a year of pulling weeds and planting seeds. A year of too much travel, more separately than together, that left us craving our cat-infested apartment. A year we escaped as much as enjoyed. We celebrated cousin Leah’s wedding in Fairfield in the summer. In the autumn, we celebrated our seventh anniversary in Cambria on the central California coast. And more than once we snuck away to the Edna Valley to replenish our wine rack and leave the flashy noise machine that is Los Angeles in the rearview.

In June, Camille left Ajilon to work full-time for Northwest Art Glass. She oversees the creation of the product catalogs from the home office. In August, she entered her 4th decade by celebrating her 30th birthday at a Venice Beach barbeque. Her paternal grandfather sadly passed away in November. In December, following her father’s knee surgery, Camille flew to Seattle to play nurse and cook him two weeks worth of leftovers. As usual, she’s made many new friends this year and continues to ponder when she’ll return to the world of Community Theater.

Despite the WGA strike that began the year, Matt maintained steady if not glamorous work in Hollywood. In April, he traveled to Las Vegas to attend the GAMA Trade Show where he and a couple other Dead Gentlemen promoted the Demon Hunters Role-Playing Game, released by Margaret Weis Productions. In August, Matt’s feature debut as a writer/director, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising, was released on DVD by Anthem Pictures. Dorkness quickly became Anthem’s fastest and best-selling DVD. The film screened at several conventions, including the world-renowned Comic Con in San Diego.

With a team that included an Emmy-award winning producer and an agent from Paradigm, Matt pitched his sci-fi TV show Hopjockey at four networks: ABC Family, the Sci-Fi Channel, the CW, and the Cartoon Network (oddly enough). Matt’s zombie horror TV show ALIVE, which he co-created with Star Trek veterans Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens, came within a meeting of being picked up by AMC. The producers on both teams are confident their shows will find a home, in some form.In September, Matt joined the staff at Epic Level Entertainment in Studio City, where he works part-time. The end of the year finds him writing another animated sitcom pilot for Israeli producers.

In December, under increasing pressure from Camille, Matt wrote this letter. He hopes nothing significant happens next year so he won’t have to write another. Camille just slapped him in the back of the head.

2009 promises more trips to the Pacific Northwest, a venture to Hawaii in May to celebrate Julia’s graduation, and a possible trek to visit family in Santa Rosa and San Francisco in the summer or fall (or whenever Matt wants a free meal).

We wish you many happy celebrations this holiday season, and good tidings in the New Year!

Much love,
Camille & Matt

Southwest Bound

Today we head back to L.A. While I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed and cooking in a kitchen that I'm familiar with, it's always hard to leave this place. Sometimes Matt and I think of moving back, especially when we see the cheaper rent prices in Tacoma. But that's not enough (yet) to pull us back. We are in L.A. for a reason, and we're going to do our very best to see that our time in L.A. is well spent. I intend to shop more at the farmer's markets and watch the sales at our local grocery stores. Katy is starting off the year with a great idea - Make It Yourself Parties - which should help ease the strain on the budget.

Matt and I have lots of plans for this year. As my MIL says, "Life is what happens when you're making plans." Hopefully some of our plans will happen, and some of them probably won't. I hope I can keep an open mind and be more patient.

Happy New Year!

I always make resolutions, and ultimately I reach them in some way. I only have a few this year, and of course, one is to loose weight. But I need to stop measuring myself on the scale because the more I work out, the stronger my muscles get and I start loosing inches, which is good! I'm down to a size 10 now, which is FABuLOUS! I love it. This just encourages me to go to fitness bootcamp more regularly.

I have a big motivator for this year - a trip to Hawaii in May. So not only do I want to lose a few inches, I also want to get healthy, and that means eating better. I start January 5th, focusing on low-fat but tasty foods. Cooking light and the cooking blog will be very helpful, as will the Master Cook program which tells me how much fat and how many calories are in the dishes we eat.

I am on my way to becoming a better person, sharing time and energy with friends and family. I enjoy cooking more and more and have found that it's ok to say "no" when I don't want to do something. At the same time, I'm becoming more open to new experiences while attempting to be more thrifty.

More on this later, I must join my MIL for another game of Scrabble! May you have a joyous, happy and prosperous 2009!

Northwest Bound

This afternoon we are finally on our way to the lovely Pacific Northwest. Because of the snow, our trip has been cut in half: from 10 days to 5, but we will make it work. With a wedding, a party, and a few friendly get togethers along with family gatherings, it it sure to be a busy but memorable trip.

And please, mother nature, please keep the snow at bay while we're up there!

We had a very pleasant first Christmas in L.A. this year. Matt wrote everything I wanted to say, so you can read all about it here.

And with that, I must go. The cab will be here any minute! Happy New Year to all!

P.S. I have to add that Christmas with palm trees just isn't the same.

Christmas Traditions in L.A.

This is going to be our first Christmas away from our families, and yet, we will be with family this Christmas.

We have many friends who are here for this special time of year and feel very grateful that we have places to go and things to do. And we are grateful that we are home and comfortable. My heart goes out to those who are still fighting to go home via plane, train, and bus.

Last night I made some of my Christmas presents and then we decorated the tree. Matt even said that next year we could get a real one or a bigger fake one! :) We watched Chronicles of Narnia with cups of tea, and then Nathan came over. We ordered pizza, drank beer, and watched old episodes of The Simpsons. Poor guy has to work today and tomorrow!

Today I'll finish the Christmas presents, get some wrapping done and go shopping for Matt's stocking (something else I didn't plan for). Tonight we'll have a get-together with friends (Jeremy, Katy, Paige A, and hopefully Matt and Jessica). Tomorrow we'll catch a movie or two (hopefully Nathan will join us) in the morning, and then head to Pasadena for dinner with Gayvin, Eric, and their 4 year old son, Jack.

While we have plans, and are grateful for all that we have here in L.A., I am still missing my family and our traditions. I know there is no time like the present to start our own, I guess because this was so unexpected I am not prepared for these emotions. It's a bit of a rollercoaster. Having our place decorated is so important to me, and yes, we have our tree, and our stockings are on the wall, and I really hope we can hang some lights tonight.

It just occured to me why this is so hard. My mom. She made Christmas so special. Presents were artfully presented under the tree, with the main gift or gifts not wrapped in boxes. I remember one year, when I was 10...I had begged and begged for an American Girl Doll, specifically Kirsten. I wanted her because everyone else I knew had Samantha or Kirsten, and I felt she deserved some attention, and I loved her story. Anyway, come Christmas morning - must've been around 5am - I went upstairs and there she was!! Just waiting for me as if she had planned the trip herself. I was so beyond thrilled. There were some other things I got that year, that were out on display, so I carefully removed her from under the tree and then bolted to my parents bedroom to share my excitement. They smiled, gave me a hug, and promptly told me to go back to bed, that it was too early. So I went back to my bedroom, but took my new doll with me. Over the years, I got more outfits and even her trunk and bed. Now she's in storage, awaiting perhaps our future daughter to play with her.

But I digress. Mom was an artist, and her artistic ways really shone through when the holidays came up. Advent calendars on the wall, stockings, decorations, our tree with all of our old ortaments, the one year we got Coconut and she was quite lively so we got a small tree and put it on a table so she couldn't destroy the ortaments. There was just something so cozy and warm about the house, the love and attention she put into the details. And the cooking...oh my gawd, the food was delicious! All kinds of Christmas cookies, the baked ham, mashed potatoes, brownies, Keith's chocolates, egg nog and homemade apple cider...YUM!! My Dad said they don't even have a tree this year, no decorations, and I doubt he'll even hang stockings. I hope weather permits Diane and Gregg to make it to his house for Christmas dinner. Hopefully a neighbor will offer to drive him to church.

Like I said before, it's a mix of emotions this year. I'm happy to be in L.A. and not dealing with the stress of traveling somewhere, but I'm also missing my family and traditions. It's up to me to try and keep those traditions going while creating new ones and making the old ones work for our little family. With this being our first Christmas away from the Pacific Northwest, I think we're doing pretty well so far. :)

So far, not so good.

For those of you who haven't heard, our flight was cancelled last night.

I have been trying to get ahold of Alaska Airlines since 8:15pm. The last attempt I made before going to bed was around 11pm, and this morning, well I tried just now and everything is still busy. I'm not sure if we'll get out today or even tomorrow if I can't get ahold of anyone. I might venture out to Burbank Airport and check out the line at the Alaska desk, see if there's a long line. But at this point, so many people are in the same situation as me, it might be easier to to wait it out. I want to be proactive, so maybe I will just go to the airport and see if someone, preferably a nice ticketing agent who hasn't been up all night, can help me.

I also will be calling Customer Care at Alaska Airlines, and getting the phone number for Kari C.'s well reccomended travel agent. She might be able to help.

We have a few offers from friends down here to spend Christmas with them should our plans completely fall through, which has been wonderfuly comforting. We can always celebrate Christmas with the family next month if this wacky weather and inability to get ahold of the airlines continues.

Thank you for all your suggestions on warm weather ideas and travel suggestions!