This afternoon we are finally on our way to the lovely Pacific Northwest. Because of the snow, our trip has been cut in half: from 10 days to 5, but we will make it work. With a wedding, a party, and a few friendly get togethers along with family gatherings, it it sure to be a busy but memorable trip.
And please, mother nature, please keep the snow at bay while we're up there!
We had a very pleasant first Christmas in L.A. this year. Matt wrote everything I wanted to say, so you can read all about it here.
And with that, I must go. The cab will be here any minute! Happy New Year to all!
P.S. I have to add that Christmas with palm trees just isn't the same.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Traditions in L.A.
This is going to be our first Christmas away from our families, and yet, we will be with family this Christmas.
We have many friends who are here for this special time of year and feel very grateful that we have places to go and things to do. And we are grateful that we are home and comfortable. My heart goes out to those who are still fighting to go home via plane, train, and bus.
Last night I made some of my Christmas presents and then we decorated the tree. Matt even said that next year we could get a real one or a bigger fake one! :) We watched Chronicles of Narnia with cups of tea, and then Nathan came over. We ordered pizza, drank beer, and watched old episodes of The Simpsons. Poor guy has to work today and tomorrow!
Today I'll finish the Christmas presents, get some wrapping done and go shopping for Matt's stocking (something else I didn't plan for). Tonight we'll have a get-together with friends (Jeremy, Katy, Paige A, and hopefully Matt and Jessica). Tomorrow we'll catch a movie or two (hopefully Nathan will join us) in the morning, and then head to Pasadena for dinner with Gayvin, Eric, and their 4 year old son, Jack.
While we have plans, and are grateful for all that we have here in L.A., I am still missing my family and our traditions. I know there is no time like the present to start our own, I guess because this was so unexpected I am not prepared for these emotions. It's a bit of a rollercoaster. Having our place decorated is so important to me, and yes, we have our tree, and our stockings are on the wall, and I really hope we can hang some lights tonight.
It just occured to me why this is so hard. My mom. She made Christmas so special. Presents were artfully presented under the tree, with the main gift or gifts not wrapped in boxes. I remember one year, when I was 10...I had begged and begged for an American Girl Doll, specifically Kirsten. I wanted her because everyone else I knew had Samantha or Kirsten, and I felt she deserved some attention, and I loved her story. Anyway, come Christmas morning - must've been around 5am - I went upstairs and there she was!! Just waiting for me as if she had planned the trip herself. I was so beyond thrilled. There were some other things I got that year, that were out on display, so I carefully removed her from under the tree and then bolted to my parents bedroom to share my excitement. They smiled, gave me a hug, and promptly told me to go back to bed, that it was too early. So I went back to my bedroom, but took my new doll with me. Over the years, I got more outfits and even her trunk and bed. Now she's in storage, awaiting perhaps our future daughter to play with her.
But I digress. Mom was an artist, and her artistic ways really shone through when the holidays came up. Advent calendars on the wall, stockings, decorations, our tree with all of our old ortaments, the one year we got Coconut and she was quite lively so we got a small tree and put it on a table so she couldn't destroy the ortaments. There was just something so cozy and warm about the house, the love and attention she put into the details. And the cooking...oh my gawd, the food was delicious! All kinds of Christmas cookies, the baked ham, mashed potatoes, brownies, Keith's chocolates, egg nog and homemade apple cider...YUM!! My Dad said they don't even have a tree this year, no decorations, and I doubt he'll even hang stockings. I hope weather permits Diane and Gregg to make it to his house for Christmas dinner. Hopefully a neighbor will offer to drive him to church.
Like I said before, it's a mix of emotions this year. I'm happy to be in L.A. and not dealing with the stress of traveling somewhere, but I'm also missing my family and traditions. It's up to me to try and keep those traditions going while creating new ones and making the old ones work for our little family. With this being our first Christmas away from the Pacific Northwest, I think we're doing pretty well so far. :)
We have many friends who are here for this special time of year and feel very grateful that we have places to go and things to do. And we are grateful that we are home and comfortable. My heart goes out to those who are still fighting to go home via plane, train, and bus.
Last night I made some of my Christmas presents and then we decorated the tree. Matt even said that next year we could get a real one or a bigger fake one! :) We watched Chronicles of Narnia with cups of tea, and then Nathan came over. We ordered pizza, drank beer, and watched old episodes of The Simpsons. Poor guy has to work today and tomorrow!
Today I'll finish the Christmas presents, get some wrapping done and go shopping for Matt's stocking (something else I didn't plan for). Tonight we'll have a get-together with friends (Jeremy, Katy, Paige A, and hopefully Matt and Jessica). Tomorrow we'll catch a movie or two (hopefully Nathan will join us) in the morning, and then head to Pasadena for dinner with Gayvin, Eric, and their 4 year old son, Jack.
While we have plans, and are grateful for all that we have here in L.A., I am still missing my family and our traditions. I know there is no time like the present to start our own, I guess because this was so unexpected I am not prepared for these emotions. It's a bit of a rollercoaster. Having our place decorated is so important to me, and yes, we have our tree, and our stockings are on the wall, and I really hope we can hang some lights tonight.
It just occured to me why this is so hard. My mom. She made Christmas so special. Presents were artfully presented under the tree, with the main gift or gifts not wrapped in boxes. I remember one year, when I was 10...I had begged and begged for an American Girl Doll, specifically Kirsten. I wanted her because everyone else I knew had Samantha or Kirsten, and I felt she deserved some attention, and I loved her story. Anyway, come Christmas morning - must've been around 5am - I went upstairs and there she was!! Just waiting for me as if she had planned the trip herself. I was so beyond thrilled. There were some other things I got that year, that were out on display, so I carefully removed her from under the tree and then bolted to my parents bedroom to share my excitement. They smiled, gave me a hug, and promptly told me to go back to bed, that it was too early. So I went back to my bedroom, but took my new doll with me. Over the years, I got more outfits and even her trunk and bed. Now she's in storage, awaiting perhaps our future daughter to play with her.
But I digress. Mom was an artist, and her artistic ways really shone through when the holidays came up. Advent calendars on the wall, stockings, decorations, our tree with all of our old ortaments, the one year we got Coconut and she was quite lively so we got a small tree and put it on a table so she couldn't destroy the ortaments. There was just something so cozy and warm about the house, the love and attention she put into the details. And the cooking...oh my gawd, the food was delicious! All kinds of Christmas cookies, the baked ham, mashed potatoes, brownies, Keith's chocolates, egg nog and homemade apple cider...YUM!! My Dad said they don't even have a tree this year, no decorations, and I doubt he'll even hang stockings. I hope weather permits Diane and Gregg to make it to his house for Christmas dinner. Hopefully a neighbor will offer to drive him to church.
Like I said before, it's a mix of emotions this year. I'm happy to be in L.A. and not dealing with the stress of traveling somewhere, but I'm also missing my family and traditions. It's up to me to try and keep those traditions going while creating new ones and making the old ones work for our little family. With this being our first Christmas away from the Pacific Northwest, I think we're doing pretty well so far. :)
Monday, December 22, 2008
So far, not so good.
For those of you who haven't heard, our flight was cancelled last night.
I have been trying to get ahold of Alaska Airlines since 8:15pm. The last attempt I made before going to bed was around 11pm, and this morning, well I tried just now and everything is still busy. I'm not sure if we'll get out today or even tomorrow if I can't get ahold of anyone. I might venture out to Burbank Airport and check out the line at the Alaska desk, see if there's a long line. But at this point, so many people are in the same situation as me, it might be easier to to wait it out. I want to be proactive, so maybe I will just go to the airport and see if someone, preferably a nice ticketing agent who hasn't been up all night, can help me.
I also will be calling Customer Care at Alaska Airlines, and getting the phone number for Kari C.'s well reccomended travel agent. She might be able to help.
We have a few offers from friends down here to spend Christmas with them should our plans completely fall through, which has been wonderfuly comforting. We can always celebrate Christmas with the family next month if this wacky weather and inability to get ahold of the airlines continues.
Thank you for all your suggestions on warm weather ideas and travel suggestions!
I have been trying to get ahold of Alaska Airlines since 8:15pm. The last attempt I made before going to bed was around 11pm, and this morning, well I tried just now and everything is still busy. I'm not sure if we'll get out today or even tomorrow if I can't get ahold of anyone. I might venture out to Burbank Airport and check out the line at the Alaska desk, see if there's a long line. But at this point, so many people are in the same situation as me, it might be easier to to wait it out. I want to be proactive, so maybe I will just go to the airport and see if someone, preferably a nice ticketing agent who hasn't been up all night, can help me.
I also will be calling Customer Care at Alaska Airlines, and getting the phone number for Kari C.'s well reccomended travel agent. She might be able to help.
We have a few offers from friends down here to spend Christmas with them should our plans completely fall through, which has been wonderfuly comforting. We can always celebrate Christmas with the family next month if this wacky weather and inability to get ahold of the airlines continues.
Thank you for all your suggestions on warm weather ideas and travel suggestions!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Getting prepared
So in order to prepare for the wintery Pacific Northwest, I'm trying to figure out how I'll stay warm. I have a ton of scarves, a few wool coats, and my Eddie Bauer parka is at my Dad's. Can't find any of my hats as of yet, and to see how bad the weather is, I checked the flight status today of the flight we're supposed to take tomorrow.
And it was cancelled! Effing cancelled! Trying to not panic right now. Seriously, there is nothing I can do. I don't control the weather!
Of course this means we might get to sleep in tomorrow. :D
However, this puts a kink into our plans, so in a way I hope we do make it. You can bet that I'll be up this early tomorrow to see if our flight is still on.
Any suggestions of what else I should bring to stay warm? Hot cocoa perhaps (with a shot of brandy)?
And it was cancelled! Effing cancelled! Trying to not panic right now. Seriously, there is nothing I can do. I don't control the weather!
Of course this means we might get to sleep in tomorrow. :D
However, this puts a kink into our plans, so in a way I hope we do make it. You can bet that I'll be up this early tomorrow to see if our flight is still on.
Any suggestions of what else I should bring to stay warm? Hot cocoa perhaps (with a shot of brandy)?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
My latest obsession
I don't know where this comes from, and I know it's overly played on the radio. That wasn't enough for me. I had to go out and buy the CD. I listen to this song every chance I get, mostly when I'm alone because Matt's sick of it. But we spent a week figuring out the lyrics (I looked them up on line and we were almost dead on), and now it's even more fun to listen to.
I heard this song for the first time about a month ago, and it was as if the musical part of my persona had finally woken up. I used to be obsessed with music and bands, seeing concerts and listening to all different kids of bands. I don't know what happened, maybe it was after Mom died, or I just got really comfortable with my favorite singers. Maybe I got tired of the latest brand of Pop music, I'm not sure. But what I am sure of is that this song means so much to me, ..."for reasons I can't explain" (thank you, Chris Martin).
I have told Matt on many occasions that the next band I'm seeing in concert is Coldplay. They were in Orange County twice last month and I missed them, but hopefully they'll be back. And when they are, I'll be singing along with them...from the nosebleed seats.
And if you are sick of the song, I reccomend that you don't play the video. This song tends to stick in your head for awhile.
Monday, December 15, 2008
And I'm home!
It feels so good to be home. Hubby, kitties, christmas tree, and a little junk food. Ah, life is good.
Dad is doing well for the most part. Yesterday we had a bit of anger due to him not being able to walk - and he won't be able to for the next 2 months - but it all worked out and he's feeling ok for now. I was a cooking queen - I made 2 lasagnas, lentil soup, lamb stew, and sausage/spinach soup. Dad is on a pain medication that's taken every 4 hours, and he has to take it with food. He yummed up the meals that I cooked, and so I froze all the leftovers so he can have some healthy meals while I'm gone. The healthy food has helped keep his nausea at bay which is excellent news. It's no fun to be bed or couch ridden, in pain, fading in & out from pain meds, and not being able to keep food down. We're all hoping for a safe and speedy recovery.
It was hard to leave yesterday, and yet it wasn't. I could have stayed another week, but I knew I had to leave. I can't be there all the time, every minute of every day. It's exhausting. And this was my first experience at being the #1 caretaker. When Mom was dying, it was easy to let others take over. But this time it was just me and my sister, and with Katie taking the ACT test and having a college interview last weekend, it was primarily up to me to make sure that everything was taken care of. It was harder than I thought it would be, but I didn't get emotional seeing my Dad like I thought I would. I'm also grateful that he's now my boss. How else could I travel up there in an instance to help out?
Speaking of travel, I'll never forget the time when Cindy commented that we Mesmers travel a lot. Yes, yes we do, and frankly I'm looking forward to a month without a plane trip. But this Christmas holiday should be really fun. We'll see family, of course, but I'm hopeful that we can see some friends that we've not seen in a very very long time. It will all balance out and instead of stressing out, I'm going to do my best and just roll with the days. I will enjoy my time and cause Matt less stress if I can just relax and go with the flow this year.
Dad is doing well for the most part. Yesterday we had a bit of anger due to him not being able to walk - and he won't be able to for the next 2 months - but it all worked out and he's feeling ok for now. I was a cooking queen - I made 2 lasagnas, lentil soup, lamb stew, and sausage/spinach soup. Dad is on a pain medication that's taken every 4 hours, and he has to take it with food. He yummed up the meals that I cooked, and so I froze all the leftovers so he can have some healthy meals while I'm gone. The healthy food has helped keep his nausea at bay which is excellent news. It's no fun to be bed or couch ridden, in pain, fading in & out from pain meds, and not being able to keep food down. We're all hoping for a safe and speedy recovery.
It was hard to leave yesterday, and yet it wasn't. I could have stayed another week, but I knew I had to leave. I can't be there all the time, every minute of every day. It's exhausting. And this was my first experience at being the #1 caretaker. When Mom was dying, it was easy to let others take over. But this time it was just me and my sister, and with Katie taking the ACT test and having a college interview last weekend, it was primarily up to me to make sure that everything was taken care of. It was harder than I thought it would be, but I didn't get emotional seeing my Dad like I thought I would. I'm also grateful that he's now my boss. How else could I travel up there in an instance to help out?
Speaking of travel, I'll never forget the time when Cindy commented that we Mesmers travel a lot. Yes, yes we do, and frankly I'm looking forward to a month without a plane trip. But this Christmas holiday should be really fun. We'll see family, of course, but I'm hopeful that we can see some friends that we've not seen in a very very long time. It will all balance out and instead of stressing out, I'm going to do my best and just roll with the days. I will enjoy my time and cause Matt less stress if I can just relax and go with the flow this year.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Here I go again...
I'm off to the Northwest. Again.
Now while all this travel seems wonderful and perhaps slightly glamourous, it's really not. Come Christmas, it will have been my 4th trip to Washington in the last 2 months. And frankly I'm starting to get a little travel tipsy. I check my bags so I deal with the cranky security people as little as possible. I dress properly so I can get dressed quickly after practically de-robing at security. I know I've been traveling a lot because I recognized a few flight attendants on my way home last time!! That is NOT ok.
This time I am heading up for a few days to help my Dad during the first few days of his surgery. His knee is not well, there's 4 things wrong with it, so I'm heading up to help him get settled and also cook a bunch of meals for him. Meals that he and my sister can just pop in the microwave or heat up on the stove. So I've been double meal planning which has been fun, and also exploring some new recipes. I hope they turn out well. I also sent out an email to some of my family members, asking for some new recipes so that Dad doesn't get bored. (Thanks to Uncle Gregg for offering to come over on Friday and help out!)
I'm a bit worried about how everything is going to turn out. Dad is getting older and I'm afraid that I'm just going to have a mini-meltdown seeing him unable to move. I know it will only be temporary, and that he's in great health. But it's not easy watching your parents get older, no matter how healthy they are.
(insert plea for a ride to Sea-Tac on Sunday afternoon here)
Now while all this travel seems wonderful and perhaps slightly glamourous, it's really not. Come Christmas, it will have been my 4th trip to Washington in the last 2 months. And frankly I'm starting to get a little travel tipsy. I check my bags so I deal with the cranky security people as little as possible. I dress properly so I can get dressed quickly after practically de-robing at security. I know I've been traveling a lot because I recognized a few flight attendants on my way home last time!! That is NOT ok.
This time I am heading up for a few days to help my Dad during the first few days of his surgery. His knee is not well, there's 4 things wrong with it, so I'm heading up to help him get settled and also cook a bunch of meals for him. Meals that he and my sister can just pop in the microwave or heat up on the stove. So I've been double meal planning which has been fun, and also exploring some new recipes. I hope they turn out well. I also sent out an email to some of my family members, asking for some new recipes so that Dad doesn't get bored. (Thanks to Uncle Gregg for offering to come over on Friday and help out!)
I'm a bit worried about how everything is going to turn out. Dad is getting older and I'm afraid that I'm just going to have a mini-meltdown seeing him unable to move. I know it will only be temporary, and that he's in great health. But it's not easy watching your parents get older, no matter how healthy they are.
(insert plea for a ride to Sea-Tac on Sunday afternoon here)
Monday, December 08, 2008
An Unexpected Saturday
I didn't have plans this weekend.
Well that's not totally true. Matt and I went to see Stephanie Paige's show on Friday night. We got all dolled up and had a great time. It was opening night and the cast was really excited and had first night jitters. Definitely got me in the spirit of the season! Afterwards, we waited around for Paige, and she came out all glow-ey (and looking slightly relieved that the first night was over with) and full of smiles. I was so excited for her - this is just the beginning of her performing career in L.A.!
I wound up spending the day with Sarah, a new friend of mine and a very close and dear friend of Paige's. She's fascinating - a pilot for SkyWest Airlines. It was a very warm day - mid 70's - and so without our jackets, we set off for The Grove, a must see for any visitor to L.A. An outdoor mall connected to the farmer's market that screams "Los Angeles is the center of the world, SEE???" Complete with a giant Christmas tree with a fountain choreographed to christmas carols, I guess there's nothing like that plus blue sky and palm trees to get a couple of Pacific Northwesterners into the spirit of the season.
Poor Sarah. She's not the biggest fan of kids (which we talked about at length) and it being a Saturday afternoon, there were kids EVERYWHERE. Not to mention we had to pass by Santa's house a few times, which I have to say Sarah was an absolute trooper. I had a great time with her. It's always fun getting to make new friends (I know I sound like I'm 12, but it's true), and I don't think we stopped talking the entire time. We went to Banana Republic, Barnes and Noble, had lunch at The Farm (and for dessert, had a giant home-made oreo cookie - YUM!), and looked at the American Girl store - turns out we both had Kirsten as kids - and discussed that lots of people must've gotten busy early on this spring because there were babies all over the place.
We headed back to the valley - I had to get her to Paige's work in time for Paige to leave to get to the theater - and bismally failed at finding dinner for Paige. There are no teriyaki places! Just sushi. Everywhere. So I dropped them off, came home exhausted and hung out at home. Then 1am rolled around and the 3 of us headed out to Fred 62, a funky 24hr diner in my neighborhood that has a huge menu and great food. We talked, we laughed, and promptly got sleepy after eating a very late dinner. They dropped me off, we said our goodbyes, and I don't know about them, but I felt it was a great ending to an unexpected Saturday.
Well that's not totally true. Matt and I went to see Stephanie Paige's show on Friday night. We got all dolled up and had a great time. It was opening night and the cast was really excited and had first night jitters. Definitely got me in the spirit of the season! Afterwards, we waited around for Paige, and she came out all glow-ey (and looking slightly relieved that the first night was over with) and full of smiles. I was so excited for her - this is just the beginning of her performing career in L.A.!
I wound up spending the day with Sarah, a new friend of mine and a very close and dear friend of Paige's. She's fascinating - a pilot for SkyWest Airlines. It was a very warm day - mid 70's - and so without our jackets, we set off for The Grove, a must see for any visitor to L.A. An outdoor mall connected to the farmer's market that screams "Los Angeles is the center of the world, SEE???" Complete with a giant Christmas tree with a fountain choreographed to christmas carols, I guess there's nothing like that plus blue sky and palm trees to get a couple of Pacific Northwesterners into the spirit of the season.
Poor Sarah. She's not the biggest fan of kids (which we talked about at length) and it being a Saturday afternoon, there were kids EVERYWHERE. Not to mention we had to pass by Santa's house a few times, which I have to say Sarah was an absolute trooper. I had a great time with her. It's always fun getting to make new friends (I know I sound like I'm 12, but it's true), and I don't think we stopped talking the entire time. We went to Banana Republic, Barnes and Noble, had lunch at The Farm (and for dessert, had a giant home-made oreo cookie - YUM!), and looked at the American Girl store - turns out we both had Kirsten as kids - and discussed that lots of people must've gotten busy early on this spring because there were babies all over the place.
We headed back to the valley - I had to get her to Paige's work in time for Paige to leave to get to the theater - and bismally failed at finding dinner for Paige. There are no teriyaki places! Just sushi. Everywhere. So I dropped them off, came home exhausted and hung out at home. Then 1am rolled around and the 3 of us headed out to Fred 62, a funky 24hr diner in my neighborhood that has a huge menu and great food. We talked, we laughed, and promptly got sleepy after eating a very late dinner. They dropped me off, we said our goodbyes, and I don't know about them, but I felt it was a great ending to an unexpected Saturday.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Curs-sed Thoughts Keeping Me Awake...
I'm having trouble sleeping.
For no particular reason other than I can't stop thinking.
About all sorts of things. Random memories. And "memories" that haven't occured. Like meeting my friends' kids for the first time, and what our eventual kids will look like. Wondering what will happen to my Dad after he has surgery next week (knee surgery, and yes I'm heading up again). Random high school pep assembly memories popped in tonight, screaming with my friends "NINETY SIX" at the top of my lungs as though it were the most important thing ever. I think about Mom and if she'd be proud of me (maybe a little frustrated). I think about my sister and hope she'll sort her life out someday. I think about my friends and how eternally grateful I am for such wonderful people. And I think about my marriage, this incredible man in my life who puts up with my mood swings, my random phrases, and how much closer we've grown together in this last year, even in the last few months.
I'm not sure how to turn my brain off. I'm exercising like I should, try to not eat sugar after 9pm, and don't watch tv. I read. Maybe I shouldn't do that either because I start thinking about the characters and the time I went to my favorite author's book signing (it was so much fun. She used to write for the Cosby Show and do stand up comedy in NYC years ago. I laughed so hard). Should I go talk to my doctor about a sleeping pill? Tylenol PM seems to do the job if I take it early enough. I just don't want it to become a habit. I've got an addictive personality.
Any suggestions?
I'm starting to get tired again now. I'll stay up a little later and see if I can just exhaust myself. And no work out for me. I can't run 2-3 miles in the morning on 4-5 hours of sleep. So perhaps it will be yoga instead. Or maybe I should start doing a little yoga at night to calm myself down.
See? This is what happens. One thought leads to another and before I know it I've been laying in bed for an hour and a half without a wink of sleep.
Sigh.
Well if you have any suggestions please let me know. I'll try anything once. Well, almost anything.
For no particular reason other than I can't stop thinking.
About all sorts of things. Random memories. And "memories" that haven't occured. Like meeting my friends' kids for the first time, and what our eventual kids will look like. Wondering what will happen to my Dad after he has surgery next week (knee surgery, and yes I'm heading up again). Random high school pep assembly memories popped in tonight, screaming with my friends "NINETY SIX" at the top of my lungs as though it were the most important thing ever. I think about Mom and if she'd be proud of me (maybe a little frustrated). I think about my sister and hope she'll sort her life out someday. I think about my friends and how eternally grateful I am for such wonderful people. And I think about my marriage, this incredible man in my life who puts up with my mood swings, my random phrases, and how much closer we've grown together in this last year, even in the last few months.
I'm not sure how to turn my brain off. I'm exercising like I should, try to not eat sugar after 9pm, and don't watch tv. I read. Maybe I shouldn't do that either because I start thinking about the characters and the time I went to my favorite author's book signing (it was so much fun. She used to write for the Cosby Show and do stand up comedy in NYC years ago. I laughed so hard). Should I go talk to my doctor about a sleeping pill? Tylenol PM seems to do the job if I take it early enough. I just don't want it to become a habit. I've got an addictive personality.
Any suggestions?
I'm starting to get tired again now. I'll stay up a little later and see if I can just exhaust myself. And no work out for me. I can't run 2-3 miles in the morning on 4-5 hours of sleep. So perhaps it will be yoga instead. Or maybe I should start doing a little yoga at night to calm myself down.
See? This is what happens. One thought leads to another and before I know it I've been laying in bed for an hour and a half without a wink of sleep.
Sigh.
Well if you have any suggestions please let me know. I'll try anything once. Well, almost anything.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Domestic? Me?
I made a pie. From scratch! Even made my own crust. Called Aunt Diane for advice.
I cleaned the bathroom and washed the dishes.
I even found a few minutes to make homemade pesto sauce which is now freezing in an ice cube tray.
What's going on with me?
I cleaned the bathroom and washed the dishes.
I even found a few minutes to make homemade pesto sauce which is now freezing in an ice cube tray.
What's going on with me?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Recovery...kind of...
I went back to bootcamp yesterday and my legs hurt pretty bad this morning. Of course, I went back today for more (we have a shortened week due to the holiday) and we have a new trainer on Tuesdays and Thursdays now. His name is Nandoor and he is a human version of the energizer bunny. I don't know where he gets it or what he's on, but I came away feeling utterly exhausted and yet rejuvinated. I really hope he sticks around. It would be great for all of us campers if we have Ricardo MWF and Nandoor T/Th so we can work different sets of muscles. And since I've missed a few weeks due to being sick and then out of town, I'll be going 4x a week for the next 3 weeks so I can maximize the benefits before Christmas.
I haven't cried over Grandpa yet. I expect it will hit me later, or not at all. He lived a full life and while he was in such pain at the end, he's finally at peace and that's where he should be.
Thanksgiving is coming! I love this holiday and all the food that comes with it. We are hosting this year and I'm afraid it's going to rain. The plan is to eat on the rooftop deck but if it is raining...well, we have enough chairs. We'll just be cozy. I'm making 3 pies, cranberry sauce, and green bean casserole. I might make an appetizer too, we'll just have to see how adventurous I'm feeling. I'm a bit nervous about the pies. I am making my own crust this year - it's Mom's recipe - and we all know how I get when I open up that box! But I'm going to do my best. I've never made pie crust before. To my Aunt Diane - I will be calling you! :)
P.S. Thank you IRS and our awesome accountant for the nice refund this year!
I haven't cried over Grandpa yet. I expect it will hit me later, or not at all. He lived a full life and while he was in such pain at the end, he's finally at peace and that's where he should be.
Thanksgiving is coming! I love this holiday and all the food that comes with it. We are hosting this year and I'm afraid it's going to rain. The plan is to eat on the rooftop deck but if it is raining...well, we have enough chairs. We'll just be cozy. I'm making 3 pies, cranberry sauce, and green bean casserole. I might make an appetizer too, we'll just have to see how adventurous I'm feeling. I'm a bit nervous about the pies. I am making my own crust this year - it's Mom's recipe - and we all know how I get when I open up that box! But I'm going to do my best. I've never made pie crust before. To my Aunt Diane - I will be calling you! :)
P.S. Thank you IRS and our awesome accountant for the nice refund this year!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Goodbye, Grandpa.
Richard Mesmer
September, 1924 to November 15, 2008
He was a character. I will miss him terribly.
Grandma Betty - I hope you're ready for him! :)
I'm still reeling from losing my last living Grandparent. It was a strange day yesterday, with the burial, and then flying back to Seattle. Not having Matt here has been hard, and yet very rewarding because I've had to toughen up and deal with myself and my family all on my own. But with my family, I'm never alone. As Matt said, we are a pride of lions. Fiercely loyal until death.
I can't say much more right now - I am still processing all of this. I know it will hit me hard when I get home, or it may not hit me for awhile. Maybe on the plan when I'm among strangers. Who knows? But I can't wait to get home and get back to work, get back to living my life. Right now I feel as if I'm in limbo and it's driving me slightly crazy.
September, 1924 to November 15, 2008
He was a character. I will miss him terribly.
Grandma Betty - I hope you're ready for him! :)
I'm still reeling from losing my last living Grandparent. It was a strange day yesterday, with the burial, and then flying back to Seattle. Not having Matt here has been hard, and yet very rewarding because I've had to toughen up and deal with myself and my family all on my own. But with my family, I'm never alone. As Matt said, we are a pride of lions. Fiercely loyal until death.
I can't say much more right now - I am still processing all of this. I know it will hit me hard when I get home, or it may not hit me for awhile. Maybe on the plan when I'm among strangers. Who knows? But I can't wait to get home and get back to work, get back to living my life. Right now I feel as if I'm in limbo and it's driving me slightly crazy.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Loss
I've been reading various blogs today and seeing how so many of my friends are going through loss. Miscarriages, lost loved ones, having to give away pets...it's very humbling. And while I'm not yet fully dealing with the impending loss of my Grandpa, I will be shortly as I leave Friday for a week or so. I know it will bring back many memories of Mom, but I will take her with me. My aunts, cousins, uncle, sister and Dad will be there. We are so lucky to have each other. I don't know what I'd do without them.
Yesterday Dad called to tell me another colleague of his had passed away last week due to complications from Alztheimers (sp). He sounded so tired, and so sad. I really didn't know what to do except support him in every way that I could over the phone, which is so hard. I just never know if I'm getting the job done, you know? And as I talked to my Aunt last night, I suddenly thought about how as a child, I never thought these days would come. I never really thought about how my Grandparents would die. I thought everything would stay the same and we'd always see eachother at the Holidays, birthdays, and even the yearly family reunions. Now it's so hard to get together. We all have our own new families now and while we're still all connected, our family has changed so much over the years. Thinking of this makes me a little sad, but I know it's just part of life. And there are some things in life that I just have to accept. This is one of them.
Yesterday Dad called to tell me another colleague of his had passed away last week due to complications from Alztheimers (sp). He sounded so tired, and so sad. I really didn't know what to do except support him in every way that I could over the phone, which is so hard. I just never know if I'm getting the job done, you know? And as I talked to my Aunt last night, I suddenly thought about how as a child, I never thought these days would come. I never really thought about how my Grandparents would die. I thought everything would stay the same and we'd always see eachother at the Holidays, birthdays, and even the yearly family reunions. Now it's so hard to get together. We all have our own new families now and while we're still all connected, our family has changed so much over the years. Thinking of this makes me a little sad, but I know it's just part of life. And there are some things in life that I just have to accept. This is one of them.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Renewal and Reflection
It's been a rough few weeks, full of surprises and hard truths. It's forced me to recognize some things about myself that I knew but didn't want to admit. I wouldn't say that I deny things, but I can certainly delay dealing with certain aspects of my life and personality for quite awhile. I think it's a defense mechanism, I deal with them either until I'm ready or until I have to.
Most of this stems from wanting a family. I've been putting myself under the microscope and thinking about who I want to be for my future kids, and frankly I'd love to be just like my Mom. She was the greatest Mom, in my opinion, because she was mine and she understood me like no one else ever could. I never hated her, never fought with her (except over homework), deep down I always loved her. I always had the sense that she took pride in being a parent, even when it was difficult. She had a certain grace and air about her that, to a child, always seemed calm. But I'm not calm. I'm not Mom, and I'm not Dad. I'm me. And who is this person that's evolved? And how can I be a better human being? How can I feel more satisfied with my life? Changes need to be made. So if I've seemed reclusive, if I've making statements that sound like questions, if I seem to be in my head all the time, well, that's because I am. I am trying very hard to make some very substantial and important changes in my life, and what's great is that Matt's doing the same thing. We have made some very tough decisions these last few weeks regarding our future which ultimately have brought us closer together. We've cried a lot, we've argued a bit, but mostly we are excited for what's to come. And that's a really good feeling.
Part of this reflection of self is also stemming from my Grandpa. He's my last grandparent and while we are not close, it is still hard to say goodbye. I will most likely go up this weekend to Spokane and see him one last time. I know it's been difficult for our family because it is bringing back so many memories of taking care of Mom in her last weeks. He's not eating or really drinking - he just takes his pain pills and goes back to bed. I have been having a hard time figuring out how much time he has left. Dad says weeks, Sharon says maybe 4-6 weeks, maybe even past Christmas. But no matter what, he's still here right now and I need to go see him. I do have great memories of him from my childhood. Like how he was always the cool Grandpa with the latest video games and cool gadgets. He and Grandma would let me stay up late with them and drink diet pepsi, eat cheez-its, and watch Johnny Carson. I'd get to eat those lovely sugary cereals during my visits to their house with the orange shagg carpet and mirrored hallways. I'm really going to miss him, and I also want him to be at peace. I hope Grandma is ready for him. He's a pistol.
Most of this stems from wanting a family. I've been putting myself under the microscope and thinking about who I want to be for my future kids, and frankly I'd love to be just like my Mom. She was the greatest Mom, in my opinion, because she was mine and she understood me like no one else ever could. I never hated her, never fought with her (except over homework), deep down I always loved her. I always had the sense that she took pride in being a parent, even when it was difficult. She had a certain grace and air about her that, to a child, always seemed calm. But I'm not calm. I'm not Mom, and I'm not Dad. I'm me. And who is this person that's evolved? And how can I be a better human being? How can I feel more satisfied with my life? Changes need to be made. So if I've seemed reclusive, if I've making statements that sound like questions, if I seem to be in my head all the time, well, that's because I am. I am trying very hard to make some very substantial and important changes in my life, and what's great is that Matt's doing the same thing. We have made some very tough decisions these last few weeks regarding our future which ultimately have brought us closer together. We've cried a lot, we've argued a bit, but mostly we are excited for what's to come. And that's a really good feeling.
Part of this reflection of self is also stemming from my Grandpa. He's my last grandparent and while we are not close, it is still hard to say goodbye. I will most likely go up this weekend to Spokane and see him one last time. I know it's been difficult for our family because it is bringing back so many memories of taking care of Mom in her last weeks. He's not eating or really drinking - he just takes his pain pills and goes back to bed. I have been having a hard time figuring out how much time he has left. Dad says weeks, Sharon says maybe 4-6 weeks, maybe even past Christmas. But no matter what, he's still here right now and I need to go see him. I do have great memories of him from my childhood. Like how he was always the cool Grandpa with the latest video games and cool gadgets. He and Grandma would let me stay up late with them and drink diet pepsi, eat cheez-its, and watch Johnny Carson. I'd get to eat those lovely sugary cereals during my visits to their house with the orange shagg carpet and mirrored hallways. I'm really going to miss him, and I also want him to be at peace. I hope Grandma is ready for him. He's a pistol.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Still in awe
I am still pondering what we did.
We elected Barack Obama as our next president.
President-elect Obama? Sounds good. Has a nice ring to it. But I must be dreaming...??
I know he won't be able to accomplish everything he wants to within one term (but hopefully some things will get turned around in a hopefully 2nd term). I have never been more full of hope than these last few days, feeling as though everything (eventually) will be ok. My heart was touched by all of my fellow citizens that were celebrating in the streets and had I not been sick, I might have joined them.
And while the US elected a president that will change our future, it is unfortunate that my state elected to ban gay marriage. I am very disappointed and hope that this will be overturned. Rumors are already being whispered that it's going to be taken to the state supreme court as unconstitutional. Let's hope so.
We elected Barack Obama as our next president.
President-elect Obama? Sounds good. Has a nice ring to it. But I must be dreaming...??
I know he won't be able to accomplish everything he wants to within one term (but hopefully some things will get turned around in a hopefully 2nd term). I have never been more full of hope than these last few days, feeling as though everything (eventually) will be ok. My heart was touched by all of my fellow citizens that were celebrating in the streets and had I not been sick, I might have joined them.
And while the US elected a president that will change our future, it is unfortunate that my state elected to ban gay marriage. I am very disappointed and hope that this will be overturned. Rumors are already being whispered that it's going to be taken to the state supreme court as unconstitutional. Let's hope so.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
I voted!
Did you?
We had to wait about a half hour in line to vote, which was kind of exciting! Normally I vote by absentee but this time I wanted to be part of the experience. We filled out our sample ballots at home and then walked the half block to our polling station. There were so many people crammed in those little booths with their brochures, trying to figure out what they wanted to vote for. I felt proud that we had made our decisions already and would save time (and patience for those in line behind us) by being so efficient.
While I was voting, I thought to myself that we are pretty lucky live in a country where not only we can vote to change the future but also express ourselves by going to rallys, voting, blogging, etc. Free speech is pretty dang awesome.
We had to wait about a half hour in line to vote, which was kind of exciting! Normally I vote by absentee but this time I wanted to be part of the experience. We filled out our sample ballots at home and then walked the half block to our polling station. There were so many people crammed in those little booths with their brochures, trying to figure out what they wanted to vote for. I felt proud that we had made our decisions already and would save time (and patience for those in line behind us) by being so efficient.
While I was voting, I thought to myself that we are pretty lucky live in a country where not only we can vote to change the future but also express ourselves by going to rallys, voting, blogging, etc. Free speech is pretty dang awesome.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Pictures from Cambria
For Cindy, a picture of Matt's Sandwich - turkey, pesto, goat cheese, roasted red peppers on fresh ciabatta bread.
We went for a hike at the start of sunset before dinner, and there were these cool driftwood benches. If we ever lived near the water, I'd love to have one in our yard.
Just up the hill outside of town. It's good to be on vacation and celebrating each other!
A panoramic shot of the beach just south of Cambria.
Wine, dessert, and my best friend.For details on our trip, visit hubby's blog. He put our trip into words that I can't muster at the moment.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Interesting
Last night I had a tough time sleeping. I was anxious and upset for no particular reason but with Matt out of town and being all by myself with my thoughts, my mind just started racing. I had a terrible time falling asleep and once I did, I had this wonderful dream where I got to see an old friend. I dreamed that it was my mom's memorial service and there he was. I gave my friend a huge hug and felt so happy to see him. I promised that we'd catch up after the service but that for the time being, I had to greet other people who were arriving. To make a long story short, I didn't make it to the memorial for whatever reason and missed seeing my friend. I was so overwhelmed and upset that I just wailed. Cried so hard that I was heaving, huge alligator tears, and totally red in the face. But I did wake up feeling better, and I was thinking this morning how interesting it is that sometimes we do in our dreams what is so hard for us to do in real life.
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