Pictures from our trip to Cambria

Our fabulous picnic at Kelsey Winery. We couldn't resist opening up 2 cold bottles of wine, it was hot that day!

Panoramic shot of Moonstone Beach in Cambra. It was such a windy day. I forgot how long my hair was and it got so tangled on the beach and in their rented convertible!

Dinner at FC McClintocks at Sunset in Pismo Beach. Gorgeous! The food and company were equally amazing!

Cool shadow shot.

We had such a great time sharing our favorite area of California with Brie and Steve. I hope they can come back soon!

Quick Update:

My in-laws are moving to Turkey next month;

We are going to Comic Con in San Diego next weekend (I think);

Matt is going to Seattle at the end of July to help the folks pack up;

I think we're getting their sofa, chair, ottoman, camping gear, super scrabble, and a few more boxes of odds and ends;

I'll be up in Seattle at the end of August, hopefully able to make it to Ben and Rita's mystery party extravaganza;

Still have baby on the brain;

It's hotter than hell here in Glendale, having trouble sleeping at night because of the heat and pondering the purchase of a portable air conditioner;

Haven't been exercising, been quite lazy actually, need to get back on track;

Both jobs are crazy busy, which is good, I like being busy, helps me not waste (too much) of my time;

I turn 31 in 4 weeks? Really?

(Pictures of last week's trip to the California Coast will be next, I promise.)

Out of Town? Again?

It seems all we do is travel!

Hm, let's see...the start of this year we were in Seattle...followed by four lovely months of not ever getting on a plane!

Thank goodness for air miles. And helpful kitty sitters.

Tomorrow we head to Cambria, a trip we've had planned for several months now. Steve and Brie are already there, celebrating their anniversary. We'll be staying at a new b&b just half a mile from their rental house. It will be a fun challenge staying within our very strict budget. I am also looking forward to sharing one of our favorite spots with good friends.

I can also tell you that I am sick of plane rides and the convertible that Steve and Brie rented will be a welcome opportunity to feel a little more free during our travels around San Luis Obispo County. :)

Bon Voyage to KT who's traversing the East Coast now, to Gayvin for braving NYC in the summer, to Katy & Jeremy attending DragonCon in Atlanta, and to our friends who are heading to Germany in September! (See, I'm not the only one who has the travel bug!)

Lack of Communication

I'm a talker. Always have been. Matt says there are no strangers for me, only new friends, which is a very nice way of saying I'm a chatterbox. :) But I do have the ability to recognize signals when people are done chatting, and I can also end a random conversation easily, unlike some members of my family *cough*.

Where I notice my lack of communication is on the bus to and from work. Everyone has their iPods plugged in, mp3 players, reading the paper or a book. A packed bus full of people at rush hour is compeltely silent. It's weird. And I'm one of them. I don't want to talk to anyone at the end of the day. I'm tired, my brain is full, and I really just want to eat. (It didn't help that on my first bus ride home I got 2 requests for my phone number from strange men.)

So, for about 80 minutes on M/T/W, I don't talk to anyone. I happily plug my earphones in, and listen to podcasts like Savage Love, This American Life, and Fresh Air. Sure, you can ask me what time it is, where this bus goes, and that you like my shoes. But please don't ask me for my phone number or email address. And avoid the seat next to me if you smell. I have a sensitive gag reflex and just might throw up on you (hasn't happened yet but I came close last week).

I heart Stephen Colbert

Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson

I remember watching this with my parents when I was a little kid. I remember thinking that I was watching an amazing performer, entertainer, and that no one would even come close to what he could do.

Notes

I lifted this quiz from a wonderful blog that I check in on now and then. Thank you!

Outside my window ... I hear the the crickets chirping, a baby crying, cars driving by, and loving the cool breeze coming through, rattling my blinds. It's very peaceful.

I am thinking ... about my mom. Determined to not flip out about our finances this month and instead be proud of how far we've come. wondering why I still have babies on the brain.

I am thankful for ... my husband, my family, and friends. To have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and money in the bank. Very grateful to have 1.5 jobs (one is part-time). To have support and to be supportive.

From the kitchen ... this week's meal plans includes Salmon Pasta Salad, Sesame and Cilantro Vermicelli Salad, Turkey Burgers with grated zucchini and carrot...mmmm...

I am wearing ... my favorite blue t-shirt from Marshalls and my favorite clam-digger shorts that are way too big.

I am creating ... my future. Learning bookkeeping skills, communication tools, and a more positive attitude in addition to being healthy and happy.

I am going ... to not travel for at least the next month, hopefully for the next 8 weeks. With my recent promotion I'll be going up North about every 8 to 10 weeks for a few days.

I am reading ... Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I forgot how much detail is in that book.

I am hoping ... that I can continue the positive path that I am on, that my husband's projects will find funding, that my Dad will be happy, and that my in-laws have an amazing journey in their new life in Turkey.

I am hearing ... birds. Crickets. The ceiling fan.

Around the house ... So much to do! Clean out closets, cleaning in general, clear out the clutter.

One of my favorite things ... Seeing my husband happy and content.

A few plans for the rest of the week ... Cook dinner every night this week, going to church with Matt tomorrow as he's the cantor at services, create more posts for the travel blog, swim at least 3 times this week.

A picture to share ...

This is one of my favorite photos I took while in Etna, CA visiting Gayvin, Erik, and Jack. I love the contrast of the colors and yet they seem to blend together beautifully. Etna and the surrounding mountains are so tranquil and beatuiful. I can't wait to visit again.

I. Can't. Wait.

How long until July 15???

Etna vs. L.A.

I can't believe how small this place is!

It reminds me of St. John, WA where my cousin and her family lives. There is one grocery store, one police officer (the police office headquarters is open from 8am to 12pm). "Downtown" consists of 2 or 3 blocks, and the most popular hangout is the local pub where they brew their own beer (the blackberry lager is amazing). The drugstore has an old-fashioned soda fountain, and the shelves are stocked with pretty much just one of each item. The air is clear, the people are friendly, and I'm surrounded by mountains. It's so beautiful and quiet here.

I have the same feeling here that I had in Hawaii - I miss the mountains, the green, nature in general. My skin and allergies aren't freaking out, and I sleep SO much better here. My wrinkled, puffy eyes are significantly less wrinkled and puffy since I arrived. I was laughing at myself when I had to go around town to find an ATM, and I was walking so fast! I told myself that it's ok, no one expects you to be anywhere, you're in no hurry, slow down and pace yourself.

I find myself really struggling to want to stay in L.A. It's an absolute challenge sometimes because my health improves whenever I leave that city. Even if it's just a few days in Cambria or Spokane, I'm so much happier without the hustle and bustle and craziness of Los Angeles.

However, I am not struggling to find friends and meaningful relationships, and I have a fantastic husband who's career is on the brink of major success. I must continue to focus on the positive, go to my last few counseling sessions, and work out on a regular basis. My life is what I make of it, whether I'm in L.A. or elsewhere.

(I think Etna won this round.)

Moving Up & Moving On

No, we aren't moving again, at least not anytime soon. But I hope to whoever is in charge that this is our last apartment. Not that I don't love it, but I would love to have a house/condo/townhouse be our next home, whether we're renting our buying.

I was just thinking about some friends of mine that have moved and others who are planning to move. Gayvin and Eric (and of course their son) moved to a very small town in Northern California, about 1.5 hours away from the Oregon border. Another good friend of mine, Paige A., got a job in New York City, so she's moving away this summer. A few of my other friends talk about leaving L.A. not because they don't like it here, but because the opportunities that were once available have left this city and they can't make things work. Matt and I definitely talk about leaving, going somewhere cheaper where he could have an easier time finding work (with 11% unemployment, trying to find a job in California is like trying to find a needle in a haystack - nearly impossible). However, moving never solves problems, it can actually add to the ones you already have. So I think our ultimate challege, for right now, is to stay here for as long as we can. I encourage Matt to look beyond L.A. and California for other opportunities and that if he finds work that's worth moving for, well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it. But I'm not going to plan on a "what-if" kind of future...I'm going to plan for the future that's happening tomorrow.

So to those of you who have left - I miss you...

To those of you who are leaving soon - Let's get together as much as we can before you go, and I'll miss you...

To those of you (and to myself) who are thinking of leaving - You have to do what's best for your life, what will get you where you need and want to go.

We all need to support each other in this incredibly amazing (and sometimes stressful) time in our lives. So go team! Move up, move on, and continue the journey.

Busy Bee

My part-time job is supposed to be 3 days a week, 5-6 hours a day. I'm really enjoying the work that I'm doing, aside from learning "techie-speak" which may as well be Swahili. However, there was an accounting-time-sensitive project that I needed to help with yesterday, and I needed the money, so it worked out (only bummer was I had to cancel plans with Mary at the beach). Yesterday I left with the solid knowledge that Friday I had to focus on my other job and get some things done around the place.

Not so much.

I got a call from one of the Marketing people, who needed some help with some "drudge work" (those were his words) and was I available to help? I was on the bus at the time I got the message and took the rest of the ride home to decided what I wanted to do. I could stay home, get stuff done, swim, maybe even sleep in a little. Or go into work, and earn money that is needed.

I went with the second option.

I know that I can be empowered by "no" (as someone at work so delicately said), and that I don't always have to be available. I am part-time and by definition I am not expected to come in every day. I don't want to become the office go-to girl, meaning that just because I have a day off doesn't mean that I'm always free. But I did just start a few months ago, and I do want to be a team player, so I will go in today and earn a bill that I can pay without worry. And it is a chance to take a break from those dang purchase orders that fill my mind's eye when I'm on my way home.

On a happier subject, this next month is going to be a busy travel month. Thank goodness for air miles and companion fares. We are very excited about a trip to San Luis Obispo in July with our dear friends Stephen and Brie, who will be visiting from Washington! We found a great place to stay in Cambria that's only $95 a night, and you bet your behind I'll be blogging about it after the trip. We're also going up to Seattle at the end of the month for a very quick trip, mostly business for me and mostly Matt helping his parents tie up loose ends.

Oh, and I'm totally addicted to Scrabble on Facebook. Sigh.

Getting Spiritual

Depending on how long I've know people, this conversation is bound to come up. Am I religious? Spiritual? Did I go to Sunday School? Did I go to church on a regular basis? What does/did my family do? It's an interesting story, one that's not complete yet. I wouldn't say that I'm searching for a church or even a religion, for that matter, because for me, they go hand in hand. But I'd say that I'm spiritual in my own, private way. I try to be a good person and do the right thing. That sort of stuff.

My mom was a stained glass designer. She designed windows for private-home installations (privacy windows, decorative, etc). The most impressive, however, were the church windows. Built from scratch or restored, her play with color and light was always incredibly awe-inspiring and impressive. When these windows were done, naturally there was some sort of dedication ceremony and more than once, my parents took me with them. I never felt comfortable going, and could never explain why. To this day I couldn't give you a concrete reason, just that "It's not my thing."

My Dad's side is Catholic and from what I know, my Mom's side was Lutheran. I was baptized Catholic but never confirmed. This is something they, especially my Dad, always regretted, but as an adult I just wish I'd had the chance to attend Sunday School or a youth group, something to give a basis to grow on. Growing up, my parents said it's OK if you're not Catholic, you can be Jewish or Buddhist, it doesn't matter as long as it suits you. I always respected that decision and was grateful for the opportunity to go on my own, personal spiritual journey. Because like politics, spirituality is completely personal and it's not up to anyone but me to decide how I am going to pursue this path.

Matt is Lutheran/Buddhist. He prays, he medidates, but has been searching for peace, and he's found it at a new Lutheran church in North Hollywood. He joined the community officially last week, and is singing in the choir. It's been wonderful to see him connect with these people, to be part of a community separate from our friends and AFI. I have not joined, obviously, and before yesterday, had only attended services on Easter in April. When Matt decided to become a member of the church, I suddenly found myself in my Mom's position after Grandma Betty died. She passed in a horrible way, thank goodness it was quick. The trauma sent my Dad back to church soon after, where he started attending services more regularly. Mom didn't go often, probably every once in awhile to support him, and certainly when he asked her or was excited to for her to meet particular people. I think really he just wanted to show her off because she was so talented and wonderful. :) But I digress...I went to church yesterday with Matt for the same reason. I wanted to support him, and see/hear him sing again. He gets so much joy and comfort out of this community, there was a bounce in his step yesterday that's been missing for awhile. He and I both know that I won't go every week, but I will go once or twice a month to support him in what he's doing.

I do get something out of church in general, and this is the particular reason why I wanted do this post in the first place. The sermons always seem to speak to me in an incredibly personal way, and I know that's the whole point, but yesterday's sermon was eerily close. Dealing with death, depression, even suicidal thoughts. It was Holy Trinity Sunday, and her sermon was about each person's individual concept of God. It was fascninating. Even more interesting was after the service, when Pastor Sue invited me out to coffee or lunch, which generally she does only with those who are interested in becoming members (which I'm not). I do enjoy her company, however, and would welcome the opportunity to get to know her.

As far as being spiritual goes, I find the best way, for me, personally, is to try to live my life the best way I can. To stay positive, to be a good friend and family member. Being outside on a hike, or on a quiet beach, a sunny drive along the coast, dancing to good music, these are the times that I feel spiritual and connected to the world. I can't explain why or how, but when it happens, it's amazing and I hold onto that feeling for as long as I can.

It's all about perspective

Yesterday was supposed to be a busy day, but instead it turned into one where I didn't want to be alone and needed alcohol to settle my nerves.

On my way to Mary's baby shower, I was *this* close to being in a major accident on the freeway.

White car and I nearly merged into each other going 60mph.

Thank GOD for my heavy car, I guided her back into my lane and she just kept going.

White car suddenly spun around...and then across the left side of the freeway...and then spun all the way over to the other side...and smashed into the retaining wall.

Have you ever seen a car spin around and around on the freeway, surrounded by other cars, thinking "that could be me"? Terrifying. Absolutely. Terrifying.

I stuck around as a witness to the accident, was late to the shower, and thank God I was carpooling with Paige who helped me stay calm and distracted me from my thoughts.

I don't want to discuss any more details because I haven't heard from the nice police officer who said he'd give me a call if white car's driver decides to file a report. He didn't take my insurance information, nor did he issue me a ticket or a warning. Basically, I'm not at fault, and thankfully no one was seriously injured. A visit to the chiropractor and massage therapist is what white car's passengers need.

On my way home from the shower, after dropping Paige off at her apartment, I got back on the freeway and had to merge with the other cars. Suddenly I was 16 again, and feeling overwhelmed and scared of these cars going so fast. I noticed that I was death-gripping the steering wheel, and my entire body was tense.

Paige said I'm in shock, and I know she's right. That car could have so easily been me instead. There's nothing like witnessing something like a car spinning across the freeway twice to give me a little perspective on driving, though I don't think I'll be driving anywhere for a few days.

Back in the swing

It's been an interesting week being back home and getting back into the routine. I've fought it tooth and nail, watching movies and reading books, playing scrabble online, rather than doing what needs to be done...cleaning out closets, vaccuming, going over the budget again...reality is such a kick in the pants sometimes. I think about how much I want to go back to Hawaii, but then if we lived there, our problems would follow us and we'd probably be worse off since it's so expensive there, and it's even harder to find work. So I'm getting back to my positive attitude despite some financial surprises (did I mention how much I despise our car). I have a busy social weekend ahead of me, full of dinners, bbq's, and even a baby shower.

One thing that I realized during the trip, and rang very true after we returned to L.A. was that I don't believe Matt & I are here for the long term. We may be here a few years, maybe more, but this isn't where we belong. I don't feel like this is my "home". I know that if we didn't have such wonderful, supportive friends here, it would have been easier to leave L.A. altogether in February rather than simply moving to Glendale. What I need to continue working on is creating those elements that I miss about other places in my life here. Maybe join a book club, or a hiking group. Re-learn Japanese. Continue healthy habits (eating right and going swimming), keep in touch with friends that I don't get to see that often, and get that passion back for running a bed and breakfast...so much to think about, but I don't have to make these decisions today. I will not anticipate, rather I need to work on taking each day as it comes and being proud of what I've accomplished that day, even if all I did was feed the cats and make the bed.

And with all that, right now I just want to take a nap. Instead I'm off to work!

More Hawaii Pics

Dad and Aunt Sharon on a lovely Sunday morning. Those mountains were our view on the other side of the deck.

Saying goodbye to Oahu. We still miss that beach.

Feeling good in my new swimsuit at Waimanalo Beach!

Crazy random cliff jumpers on the north shore!

Our fantastic accommodations!

Some Hawaii Pics

The beach at Waimanalo State Park which was just 50 yards from our cottage. It was hard to leave this place.

Dad and the boys playing Bochi Ball at Lanikai Beach.

Julia and Matt...they look different after a couple of drinks...

The view from our balcony.

The happy family. Congratulations Julia!

Aloha from Oahu!

It's been an amzing trip so far and we still have 3 days left. We've been to Waimea Beach, Lanikai beach, dinner at Lucy's in Kailua, and twice we've been to a fantastic little place in Kailua called Boots & Kimo's where they have the most delectable macadamia nut pancakes (Emilie, when you and Matt arrive, you have to make a stop here. It's a must!). I've certainly got a tan, which will require very little work this summer. I've loved nearly every minute with my family and aside from the bickering that ensued yesterday, I realize how lucky we are to be here and together, in this place, this tropical wonder in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I've had some time to reflect on myself and who I've become, and while I've made strides in some areas, there are still some things that I have to do. Who knows what will happen today, tomorrow, or next year? I'm going to continue to work on living in the present and what better place to do that than in Hawaii?

And being 50 yards from Waimanalo Beach doesn't hurt either. :)

Aloha!

Today we leave. I was packing well into the night while Matt continuously worked on his script, which I have to say worked out perfectly. His calm, focused manner allowed me to get the laundry done, sort out the clothes that I need to take as opposed to wanting to take. This morning I have just one more major task, and that is to take our car into the mechanic so they can fix our leaky radiator while we're gone.

Weather on Oahu today: 90 degrees. It'll feel just like home!

Tankini? Check.
Sunscreen? Check.

Yep, that's about all I have in my suitcase.

Preparations for Aloha

On Monday we leave for the infamous 9 day trip to Oahu for Julia's graduation. It's really only infamous in my head because of all the planning I've done, and the craziness that's ensued with who's coming and who's not. I am thrilled to be going and yet don't feel that I deserve to go. I don't feel that I've worked hard enough to deserve such a special and fun trip, but then my friends have said I'm crazy, that I work hard, and that I should go and have fun. So I keep that in my head and I'm getting to the point where I'm not going to get down on myself anymore. We will be 50 yards from the beach for goodness sake, so I will just go and work on my tan, hike some beautiful trails, eat some good food, and have fun with my family.

We are also preparing ourselves for some good friends to move away. Our very close friends, Gayvin and Eric, are moving to Northern California (like way north of San Francisco) and while we'll see them a few more times before they leave, and during the year while they're gone, it still stings. I'm not going to dwell on it, though, because they are still here, and so are we (they move a week after we return on the 21st).

Aloha means hello and goodbye. So it's hello Oahu and goodbye friends. But neither one is forever, and I'm ok with that.

Processing

It's been an interesting few weeks. Lots to think about and changes are on their way (no, I'm not pregnant). It's all too overwhelming and exciting (and sad, too) to think about so to put in on the internets would take more time and energy than I'm willing to give right now. I will, eventually, but right now I need to get ready for work (which I'm enjoying) and just enjoy the process of...well, processing everything that's been happening.

Catching Up

Courtesy of Brie. The happy newlyweds, Emily and Michael!

I went to Seattle healthy but tired, and came back to L.A. tired and with a nasty cold. I spent my first day at work in a fog of day-quil, followed by a few sleepless nights thanks to coughing and hacking. My poor husband. His first few nights back at home and his wife can't seem to stay quiet. :(
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It's been a busy but good week aside from being sick. I've caught up on some posts for my blog and am thoroughly excited about my new part-time job. Working on Sunset & Fairfax is just a hoot. It's such a different community than from where I live, so it's great to go outside and people watch for a few minutes. It's wonderful to be working with and for a friend who is excellent at explaining what I need to do, especially since I've never done bookkeeping before. I feel bad interrupting her all the time!
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The wedding was amazing. Em looked beautiful and Michael looked very handsome. I got to see friends that I almost never get to see during my frequent trips up North. For the first time, I felt a huge pull to move to Tacoma since we moved to L.A. back in 2005. (4 years this year, sheesh!) I know that we might be back eventually, but I'm still determined to make this city work for us and not the other way around!
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All in all, it's been a good, busy, productive week. I send my heart and love out to those who had rough days today - you know who you are - and wish for good news for loved ones.

Lovely Meows

With the last weeks being so stressful and today being quite hectic - packing and cleaning up this place is hard to do by myself - my little kitties have been such a comfort to me, especially when I'm lonely/sad/scared. Here's a shoutout to my precious kitties!

Precious PJ. He's just a love.

Princess Quinn, and don't you forget it! I took her to get groomed today and the groomer gave me $5 off because she was so sweet and well behaved!

The tomboy - Bean. She's Matt's cat through and through, and misses him terribly.

Limits

We all have our limits and I have definitely reached mine. I am a moody you-know-what these days and since Matt's not here I've unfortunately been taking it out on my friends. Bursting into tears at random moments, having a hard time sleeping, finding comfort in food and friends...thank goodness I've known them long enough that they're not telling me to bugger off.

I am tired of talking about how I'm doing, how Matt's doing, how my life has been these last weeks, especially the last few days. I don't want to think about friends possibly moving, family members dying, phone bills...my inbox is full.

Check out his blog, and that'll give you a good idea of how we're both doing. Em's wedding on Saturday will be a welcome relief from the stresses of everyday life.

Comfort

When Matt & I moved to Puyallup (pronounced pew-al-up), I started a new job as assistant director of a daycare (kids from wee newborns to challenging 12 year olds). Depression set in as I hated my job but did my best because those kids deserved better. I gained weight almost immediately and was grieving my grandma's sudden passing. Days were filled with naps and eating, and more sleep. And eating. I found so much comfort in food. Finally I saw a counselor that knew what she was talking about (and I was also ready to listen), and diagnosed me with severe depression. I burst into tears and called a good friend afterwards who told me that depression isn't always a life-long struggle. Sometimes it's just temporary. So I started taking anti-depressants and for the first time in a long time, I felt normal. I didn't feel out of control. I could handle my emotions! I wasn't abnormal! Through counseling and this medication, I worked through my issues and was done with being medicated after one year. Of course, after Mom died, I went back on meds and to counseling for awhile (I'm off the meds, but still in counseling).

These days, when depression hits, I force myself to go out and distract myself from the thoughts and moods in my head. I still find a lot of comfort in food. In Washington, I'd cook a lot of comfort food to make myself feel better (and also warm myself off beacuse it was frickin cold!) Macaroni and cheese, tuna casserole, cheesecake, chicken strips, chicken noodle soup, all with salads that were heavy on cream-based dressing. It's no wonder I gained 20 pounds. Today I still struggle with my relationship with my old comforting friends. I don't buy snacks, ice cream, soda becuase I'll eat it. It's hard, but what's worth more? Drinking water and eating apple slices or feeling guilty because I ate a box of cheez-its in 2 days and now I have to work it off? It's a struggle every day for me to make the right choices when it comes to food, and lately, I need to find comfort in my real friends rather than that 1/2 pint of Ben and Jerry's that is still in my freezer.

Like a fish in water

Gayvin and I have been going swimming 3 times a week for almost the past month and I can't believe how much I'm enjoying it. It's far less impactful on my joints and I feel as though I'm burning more calories. I think I'm even starting to show some weight loss around my mid-section which is always a good thing! I may not be a size 6 ever again, but I'm doing my best to look and feel good about the body I have been given. The best part is going with a friend and talking part of the time. Then we start doing laps and it's great to have someone else there to keep tabs and motivate you. I am motivated by her being in constant motion, always trying to keep up with her.

Every Thursday we have a little routine. We go swimming and then head over to downtown Glendale for the farmers' market to split lunch at a delightful little cafe called The Lunchbox. We split the amazing gyro sandwich - the best one since I've left Seattle - and munch to on delicious chips and a drink. All for under $10 total! With the exception of today, we then usually hit the farmers' market and wind up feeling really good about how we've spent our day and how we are being good to ourselves and our health. Going swimming always puts me at ease. I release so much pent up stress, anxiety, even anger and sadness. I wish we could go every day, but I guess 3 times a week will have to do!

Bonus to living in Southern California - I get to go swimming in an outdoor pool year-round!

What a day...

Nothing that $3.00 margaritas can't fix! :) Woohoo!

Well, it's a temporary fix. Matt is having a tough time in Washington and he got some bad news today. Until he shares it on his blog, or with others, it's really not my place to say on the Internet but it's safe to say that eventually, we'll be back for a funeral. I miss him terribly and wish he was coming home soon. But I'll stay tough and get through the next week because that's what I do. It's amazing when you realize your own strength. Friends help. :)

It seems that everyone is having a tough time these days. Emotions are running high, stress is rampant, and so many of my dear friends are out of work and finances are just...UGH...(need I say more?) So it's with that in mind that I'm attending church with my friend Cindy on Easter Sunday. I'm not religious, but I do consider myself spiritual, and maybe going to a place of worship with a good friend is what my spirit needs to get re-focused and re-centered.

Random Pics

Jeremy is stah-ving! And so is Cordy, apparently!

Don's just smokin', that's all I can say.

Yeah...I snapped this picture just wanting to get a shot of the barbershop quartet, and this photo turned into something else entirely...

Matt D, Paige, and Jessica in line for a ride at DISNEYLAND!!!

Really proud of this picture. The Kyoto Grand Hotel is reflected in the water of their Garden on the 3rd floor in Downtown L.A.

By Myself

Matt is in Seattle/Tacoma for the next few weeks helping out his family.

It's a strange feeling being the one holding down the fort. For the past few years, it's been me that leaves to help out and leave him here, at home. It's a strange role reversal and suddenly it occur ed to me is how he must have felt when I was gone in Seattle for 2 months, helping Dad and Katie adjust after Mom died. How frustrated and lonely this position is, how I just want to keep myself busy and entertained, exhaust myself so it's easier to sleep at night.

He and I talked the other night and he mentioned what a strange marriage we've had. So much time apart and yet we always make it work. Our relationship certainly isn't conventional, that's for sure, but then what relationship is? Each one has a unique connection and quirks that make it tick, that make us want more from ourselves and the other person involved. These last few weeks I've certainly come to appreciate and count on friends that I'd lost that connection with. Or maybe lost is the wrong term...that connection had just been resting.

I know that famous quote "distance makes the heart grow fonder". But it's dangerous to like having the bed all to myself so I can sleep in the middle of it. It's not OK to get used to doing things my way all the time. It is difficult when the other person comes back and suddenly the old routine is back. It was really hard when I came back from those 2 months away, and emotionally I was completely spent. I imagine it will be the same for him, and the adjustment will be different because the circumstances are different. Marriage is about being together, no matter what. I never thought mine would have so much travel back and forth involved, especially by ourselves. But again, we always seem to make it work. And when the 16th rolls around and I get to see him again, this will all be worth it.

(I love you, babe. I'll be in Seattle soon. Hang in there, you're stronger than you think. :) Don't worry, I'm staying busy and I'm OK.)

There Is Hope!

It's amazing how when you really put yourself out there, really try to do the right thing, and do your best to remain positive (I've failed at that later part this week), the universe sees fit to reward you. My friend Katy has been needing some help at work for some time now, and I've been needing a part time job for a few weeks now. Will this work out? I certainly hope so and I have a meeting with the company on the 13th to see if we'd be a good fit for eachother. Matt is looking at tutoring jobs that can pay up to $35 an hour. (And if I'm not a good fit, Matt expressed interest in the job with Katy as well.) I'm not counting on anything yet, but really I am feeling much more hopeful that things just might work out (for now).

(And a big thank you to Katy for telling me about this position!)

(Thank you also to friends and family who've counseled and listened this past week. I'm extremely grateful.)

Survival Mode

I have many reasons to be in this mode, most of which for what my husband is going through right now with his family. My mother gave me some wise advice when I got married - "Protect your in-laws." And that's what I'll do, but it's safe to say that I'm worried for Matt and his family. I'm not sure what will happen, I have never been in this situation before. Matt is in Seattle now, and I can only support him in what he chooses to do from here on out. If you pray, please pray for his family. If you send loving/supportive thoughts/energy, please do so. I'm worried.

As for me, I'm in survival mode for other things too. Personal things that are slowly being uncovered and I don't want to get into on the internets. I am still mad, still angry, still pissy and moody. Not a pleasant person to be around these days. I'm easily distracted and just want to escape. I think Cindy said it best in a blog post a few months ago - "I just don't feel like being responsible today." Except instead of one day, it's been many days and I need to keep going, to keep living.

I wish I could say more, but really I just wanted to get this out in the open, where I'm at and where I stand. I thoguht I'd get out of this mode in a few days but I think it will be a few weeks, maybe a month or more. I just have to ride this wave and see where it goes.

P.S. We did have some fun last night, thank goodness!

New SLO location!

To have my new blog as part of my upcoming website, I had to move it to wordpress. Sorry for the confusion but best I take care of this now rather than later on!

http://liveslo.wordpress.com.

Hope you'll visit soon!

I finally understand our economy's troubles!

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

Thanks to Katy for posting this video in the first place! :)

Mood

I'm just in a funk today. Nothing bad has happened. Went swimming at the fabulous outdoor pool with Gayvin, went to the farmer's market, picked up yummy veggies and had a delicious lunch. Pagie B came over for a bit and now I'm wandering the internets in search of something to help me feel better (this is why I don't keep snack food in the house -- emotional eating is not good for me). I don't really want to be around anyone now, don't want to talk about "it", just in a funk. I don't want anyone to make me feel better, I just want to let it pass without feeling the pressure to have to be perky and happy.

I hate this mood. Maybe I should go take a nap and see if that helps get rid of it.

Momentary Financial Panic

About once a month, I go through a momentary panic where I truly believe we're going to run out of money tomorrow, that no raises are coming, investors and managers won't sign Matt, movies won't get made and we'll be left in the dust, broke and heartbroken.

Yes, I'm being dramatic, but at midnight that's about the best I can do.

I worry that we'll have to move back to Seattle. I worry that we'll have to move in with my Dad or his folks and be reliant on others rather than ourselves. I worry that we'll never not be broke, that we'll never stop living paycheck to paycheck. I worry that I'll never stop worrying and yet I'm always hoping that maybe next month, maybe next year, things will be better.

I've been talking about how confident I am about our financial situation but the truth is I'm terrified. Really and truly. I don't know what's going to happen in the next few years. We want a house of our own, and a child. But there's this giant black cloud of graudate student loans in deferement that seems like it will never be paid off. Our monthly bills aren't completely covered, even though we have cut costs significantly. More than significantly. I guess I shouldn't have bought that domain for my new website. And I didn't really need red flats. Shouldn't have gone to Disneyland today (even though we got in for free). See how I make myself feel better? Ugh.

I have to get creative. I have to be confident in the (occasional) fun (on sale/clearance) purchases I do make while sticking to a strict budget. We have to cut our grocery bill even more, and look into buying bottled water rather than continuing with the water delievery service. We've already cut cable and his health insurance payments went down.

I don't meant to whine, but this is definitely a sign of the times. I want to look back on this time in our lives and be proud of the decisions and choices we made rather than thinking What the eff did we DO?

Updated New Blog

Hi Folks!

I've been posting on my new blog http://liveslo.blogspot.com. It's full of tips for travling to this wonderful place and also includes some handy travel tips in general, especially useful during this tough economic time. Please follow it and/or check it out when you can. I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions! Postings will be up every M/W/F.

Thanks in advance!

P.S. We went to Disneyland today. Pictures to come!

Going UP?

There is nothing like hiking up and up to tell you how out of shape you are (still). But I did better than I thought I would, and overall yesterday morning was a perfect day for a hike at the Los Angeles National forest. We didn't find our original destination - the waterfall. Instead we stayed on the fire road (did I mention the trail went UP). My calves are still feeling it this morning!

A family pic.

Beautiful views all the way UP.

Paige and Katy rock!

The Early girls.

At the top!

Productivity

I am very proud of myself these last few days. I've been working out, resting when needed, having fun when the time arises, and spending my "off" working on my website with Paige T and researching for my SLO blog.

I definitely don't feel useless anymore. :)

We also bought our tickets for Seattle next month. We are going to Emily's wedding, and I can't wait. It's sure to be a fun and classy affair, as that's Em's personality.

Pondering Thoughts

I am really loving my life these days.

The man and I are doing so well, I'm nourishing relationships and releasing tension from others. I'm just feeling GOOD. And I like it! I can't explain why. Maybe it has to do with finding my career path and spending time being creative. I've taken to posting a few articles a month for a friend's blog which has included spending more time writing and editing my work. That has been so helpful because soon, I'll have my own website with my own content and be working on my creative process every single day. How exciting! I've also created a profile on YELP to encourage me to write reviews on restaurants that Matt and I go to.

There are some friends that I'm sorely out of touch with. You know who you are, and I'm really sorry. I promise to call this week and check in.

Now if I could just get back on track with eating better, I think I could upgrade from "good" to "excellent"...the no-drinking-soda is helping...

Awwwww, Freak Out! (Just a little)

I'm having moments of momentary panic and anxiety.

The development of my future website and the strong resurgence of commitment to my travel blog, finally figuring out my path and direction in life, it's all overwhelming. Exciting, definitely, but overwhelming in such a way that all I want to do is walk (or sometimes run) from the office as fast and as far away as possible. I have searched long and hard for some sort of direction in my life in terms of my career, and it's always been here, just waiting to be pursued. It's funny how we don't notice those things right that are right in front of us, yelling and waving to be noticed and cultivated.

In any case, I'm trying very hard to not pepper Paige A. with loads of questions about what to do because she already told me on Sunday what needs to happen next. I just have to settle my anxiety by getting things done. I must force myself to stay in this char and make progress!

Please check out my new blog and let me know what you think. It's really not all that new, but I'm really determined to post 3x a week so that maybe, just maybe, I could get sponsorship. This is what I love to do, and I'm hoping you'll be as excited as I am.

http://liveslo.blogspot.com

A Few Good Days

Yesterday was so much fun. My good friend Cindy and I spent the enitre day together. I could not document it better than she did, but I can at least sum up what happened.

She mentioned in a recent blog post that she was not having a good day, and I jumped at the chance to take her out and have a girls day. By the time Saturday rolled around I wasn't in the best of spirits but by the time I got to her place and we were out for our 3 mile walk, I was feelign better. Listening to her talk, I realized how much I've missed spending time with Cindy 1-on-1. As she said, we often hang out in a group setting, and while that is fun, we often miss out on opportunities to connect on a deeper level. Cindy is so wise and thoughtful. She really thinks before she speaks which is a trait that I really admire. It felt good to re-connect with her and our friendship is definitely stronger for it.

After our walk, we were all sweaty and gross, so we quickly refreshed and headed off to the lovely air-conditioned mall. After a yummy lunch, we headed to Macy's for which we both had gift cards. I asked her where she wanted to start -- it was a total zoo -- and she grimaced as she said "Shoes." Shopping for shoes isn't her favorite thing, and on a Saturday, it's not mine either. We walked with some trepidation but determined to find her some cute, fun work shoes. And find we did! She walked away with a very cute and sassy pair, that could be easily dressed up or dressed down, good for work and play -- multipurpose pumps! I found a cute pair of red ballet flats on clearance and with our gift cards we spent a minimal amount of cash. We were very proud of us.

After shopping, I treated Don and Cindy to iced coffees with the rest of my gift card and then headed back to their house. Matt had spent an hour in ugly traffic getting home from a film seminar so after a wonderful conversation with the two of them, Don and Cindy graciously gave me a ride home. It was a wonderful opportunity to show them our new place, and they loved it! It really meant a lot to me that our friends loved our new home. We started watching the pilot of "Big Love" (which I highly reccomend, Matt and I are enjoying it so far), but were pleasantly interupted by Ben and Corrie dropping by for dinner! They were in town for a film festival. We walked over the 1 block to Zankou Chicken, a fabulous and cheap Lebanese/Aremenian fast food chain with great portions and equally great prices. We had a nice relaxing meal, catching up and talking about previous escapades in Washington. We headed back to our place, shortly after which Don had to bow out and go home. Poor guy. He wasn't feeling well and was such a trooper during the evening.

All in all, I wasn't intending to spend the entire day with friends but I'm so glad I did. I think all of us were boosted by the positive engery that we got from being together. As my Mom said the day after our wedding: "That was fun. Can we do that again?"

Today I spent the afternoon with Paige A. She is a new friend from Dallas that I met through Paige B. She is an incredibly talented graphic designer/illustrator/all-around-awesome-artist that is helping Matt and I build a website. Matt needs one for his writing career, and I've finally figured out what it is that I want to be doing so I won't feel so useless. I want to creat a tourism website for San Luis Obispo county. After talking with Paige B. who offered great advice after calming me down during my melt-down, I really thought about how I want to be spending my time. What would make me happy? What do I look forward to doing? So in my meeting today, I really got excited about what I will be able to offer the potential visitor to the SLO area. It was great fun. I have so much work to do and yet I am excited about getting this work done. I am terrified and excited at the same time, but I have a fabulous support system and a network of truly talented professionals that are just as excited about helping me create my vision. How could life feel any better at this very moment? I'm not sure how!

Breathe In, Breathe Out

I try to make a point of not talking about my job on the internets because I don't know who will see this, who is reading, etc. But let me make it known that there are times when I wish I didn't work from home, where I wish I was in an office. The distractions, the computer crashes, the fact we only have one computer and BOTH Matt and I work from home...Right now I'm unable to connect to our inventory database which is creating a huge backlog in my work. I feel useless and bored, waiting for my coworkers to get in touch with me. They are so busy and overwhelmd at the office, while I just sit here, trying to be proactive in creating layouts when I have minimal information to go on.

I need to be grateful to have a job in this day and age, grateful that my commute consists of going from my bedroom to the kitchen to the office, grateful that I have such a flexible schedule. But right now I'm frustrated, aggravated, and frankly, bored to tears. Depression starts to settle in, which makes me angry and more depressed. Depression leads to other thoughts that I'd rather not think about -- stupid comments I've made, Mom, Grandpa, and other stressful situations.

I just hate feeling useless. I have to move on from this. Create my own work somehow while my co-workers go about their day. But how? When I can't connect to the database??

Argh. I will move on. It's just going to take me a few days.

And we need to get another computer. This is getting ridiculous.

Going out!

The lovely Jen and Dave at dinner.

Teh-Don and Jen.

My sweetie and me! This is my new favorite picture of us.

Happy Anniversary, Don and Cindy!

The drug-induced haze continues...

Yet last night at dinner, I was on Advil and could still drink 3 mini-glasses of red wine without feeling silly. I think those anti-oxidants from the wine really helped beacuse today I am starting to actually feel human again. I still sound incredibly nasaly, and my ears are still sensitive to noise, but I'm hopeful that in a few days, or at least by the end of the week, that I'll be back to normal again.

Last night we had a wonderful evening with friends. Jen and Dave were in town from Seattle and we got a few hours to catch up on what's new with them. Don and Cindy were there too and it was their 5th wedding anniversary -- congratulations you two! :) I finally got to meet Dave's sister, Jeannie, and their friend Garrett. Jeannie lives in West Hollywood and I know we'll be seeing her again soon as she and I hit it off instantly.

Tonight I may be heading out again for a birthday dinner. It feels so good to get out of the apartment after being bed and couch-ridden for the last few days.

Living through the haze

(For Emilie)

I caught the flu and a nasty head cold the other day so I'm in a drug-induced haze right now. Thank goodness we have heat and internet so I'm not going completely crazy. And I have to say that Matt is the best nurse-husband hands down. What a trooper!

Fashion Week in Las Vegas was amazing - you can read more here. (I have to say though, never EVER stay at the Trump Towers. What a miserable experience, but girlfriends make it better.)

The cats have definitely calmed down since the move. Now that we have heat they aren't running around like crazed felines trying to keep warm. I'm actually overheating because I'm so used to wearing so many layers during the day. We also have internet now, so we aren't completely cut off from the world anymore.

Now, back to bed. Thank goodness for the drugs that take away sinus pressure and fevers.

New home!

This weekend the rain stayed away (thank goodness) and the 2 of us plus 7 of our friends (thank you!) moved our belongings to Glendale on Saturday. We are making huge progress on getting settled in. The place is definitely starting to take shape. It's exciting! I'm at Don and Cindy's now, using their internet connection because ours still isn't set up yet. No cable and no internet -- it's like we're stuck in the 80's! Anyway, I have to get going as Cindy needs the laptop back. Pictures and more updates to come later.

Gearing Up

We move a week from today. And I must say it's hard to think of leaving this place. Not just our apartment but this building. This neighborhood. When we first moved here I was so terrified and stressed out. Fast forward three and a half years later, and we've made a life here. Friends that are our family, weather that I can't live without, and jobs that we both enjoy (for the most part). So while I'm excited to move on and start anew, leaving this place will be a little more painful that the other moves. Our live in L.A. started here. But we have other places to go. :)

It is amusing to see how the older 2 cats, PJ and Quinn, know what's going on when things start disappearing into boxes. But Bean...she's kind of freaking out, though enjoying the jungle gym that the stack of boxes have created. It's pretty cute.

Self-Portraits

Sleepyhead

I don't know what is going on. Am I hibernating? What's the deal? Last night I slept 9 hours, the night before I slept 11, and the night before that I slept another 9 hours. Sleep has been a struggle for me these last few months so it's kind of a nice shocker that I can sleep now. Matt has been so quiet these last few mornings so I don't even wake up when he gets up (which is unusual, I'm normally a very sensitive sleeper). It's been great for my skin and those puffy circles under my eyes have been disappearing over the last few days.

But I'm finding that life as a lazy, sleepy teenager is not one that I want to live. Case in point --missing out on a get together this morning with friends. I'm ticked at myself because I was looking forwad to seeing them. I will have to make more of an effort this next weekend to see them, and not sleep in so late.

Work It!

I really committed to my workout this week. When I showed up this morning, my trainer commented that he was impressed with my turnout and asked what my motivation was. I said "Hawaii in May, that's my goal!" He nodded and said he'd help get me there. I feel so good after exercising. My stress level is down, I am more aware of what I'm eating, and I feel so much better about myself. My muscles are getting bigger too! I can definitely notice more definition in my clothes, specially my jeans. Matt pointed out that I've started losing weight again, in my face and neck. While I haven't lost weight, I've lost inches and that's huge. I feel so much better about my body when my clothes fit better. I find that I'm also inspired by all of my girlfriends who work out on a regular basis. We check in on each other, and that's so encouraging and helpful!

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

I feel like doing this too. But then I'd probably break the printer. And I wouldn't get a paycheck.

Early Morning Thoughts

(I'm going to miss our building! *sniff*)

I'm going to miss our neighborhood. I'll miss the 4-block walk to the store, the fabulous restaurants within walking distance (at least they offer valet parking so we can come back at any time), and the quirky people that live here.

I'll miss our neighbors -- Matt and Jessica and Steve and Wendy, and Jamie too -- They've all been fantastic. We watch out for each other, and even take turns watching each other's kitties when the others are gone. I can't lie -- having cat sitters just down the hall has been wonderful. But the friendships are what I'll miss the most -- being able to just call them up and see if they want to hang out, go to the store, etc. Even carpooling to various events is extremely easy.

I packed up my bookcase yesterday. It's so empty. A sad sight. This is real. We're leaving this place. I know we're not going far, but this building was our first home in a city where we didn't know anyone. Los Angeles terrified me in ways that I wasn't prepared for. I had panic attacks, sleepless nights, and plain ol' amazement at this city of millions. As far as our apartment goes, this was an upgrade that we needed at the time. We expected a bit more from the entertainment industry (hindsight is 20/20), and thought we could make this place work, financially. It's been a lovely home, and as with the other places we've lived in, it will be hard to see this one empty. (Except for the little Puyallup house. The best move we ever made was leaving that house!) But it's time for a new resident in this place, and hopefully they'll love it as much as we have over these last 18 months.

I'm really going to miss having a dishwasher. I have been thinking about how I have never not had one, so this will be a challenge for me. I'll have to clean up dishes as I go, that will make it much easier.

I'm not going to miss the chaotic sounds of the sirens wailing by all the time. I won't miss the crazy people down below, yelling and screaming at each other at night. I won't miss the sound of the commuting hours, with cranky people honking at eachother to move somewhere else, the sound of brakes coming to a screeching halt to either miss a car (thankfully) or else I get to enjoy the awful sound of mental crunching. Like the time I heard that hit & run? Fantastic. (Luckily no one was hurt.)

How does Matt sleep so easily? This drives me crazy! Of course he's been working really hard. Most of his time at home is spent getting ready for bed, falling asleep, and then getting ready to leave in the morning.

Brie and Steve, thank you so much for the wine from Europe! It's fantastic, and I just wish I could read the back of the label so I could figure out where to get more of this lovely adult grape juice!

Things to do:

My mind is just reeling with all that we have to get done in the next 3 weeks. And yes, while I work from home, I've actually had stuff to do and things to learn -- I'm not a graphic designer by nature so I'm learning as I go and it's fun but kind of frustrating -- this means I'm not sitting around all day twidling my thumbs and wishing for something to do. So the last few days, towards the end of the day, I've spent an hour to two hours on the phone with vendors. Changing the address, getting our new land line phone number, canceling Time Warner Cable (HECK YEAH!! They don't service our new city!! We have to stay in Glendale forever for this reason.), setting up new accounts, changing the addres with the post office, etc etc etc. Did I mention that we have to pay our new rent at the start of the month in addition to possibly owing about 1/2 month's rent to our current place? Don't get me started, it's 2am and I'm cranky.

In any case, I am very excited about our new place. For those of you on Facebook, I posted pictures of it unfurnished so you can see what it looks like. I'm thinking of getting some area rugs eventually, to add some warmth and color, but first we'll have to play around with the arrangement of furniture and save some money. After all, our checking account is taking a bit of an unexpected hit this month. But that's ok, because in the long run, this will all be worth it.

Thank goodness for fitness bootcamp. If I wasn't exercising regulary (in addition to going to my counseling sessions once a week), I think my head might explode!

Movin' on up

We got the apartment in Glendale! :) Current thoughts I'm having...

Thought of moving again - Ick...

Thought of no dishwasher - Eh, s'okay, we can make do...

Thought of more closet space - Yes please!

Thougts of hardwood floors - Love!

Thoughts of bathroom counter? - We can make it work.

Thoughts about saving $500 a month? - YES!!

We'll be moving at the end of the month. Emails will go out with our new address when the time gets closer.

Patience isn't a virtue of mine.

With the recession and Matt getting laid off from his part time job, our finances are incredibly tight. So this week we started looking around for cheaper places to live, something in the neighborhood that is much cheaper and could save us up to 600 bucks a month. So far, I'm checking out two places tomorrow - one in Glendale and one in Valley Village. Saturday we are going to visit one in Silverlake, and that's the one I really want. It's still in our neighborhood, the price is right, the area is adorable, and the apartment even has a deck! Not only that, we'd be saving over $500 a month, which is HUGE. So, again, I'm really excited and hope that it's the place we are meant to be, but I just have to be patient and see what happens.

Of course, all this talk of saving money means that we aren't eating out nearly as much as we used to. I'm enjoying meal planning much more and with my weight loss goal in check, I love looking up new and healthy recipes. Yesterday I went back to fitness bootcamp and while my muscles were screaming at me that it had been a long time since they'd been worked this way, today I'm not sore. At all. Which means I'm getting used to this! I'll certainly go back tomorrow, and plan on going every M/W/F for the next five weeks. I plan on going in February too, and then might cut back on the bootcamp so I can go to yoga more often. Again, I just have to be patient and enjoy where I'm at right now. At least I've gone down one dress size, and I'm feeling really good about that!

Holiday Letter

For those of you who didn't receive it, here's our end-of-year letter...

~ Camille & Matt's 2008 Holiday Update ~

2008 was a year of minor triumphs and enduring frustrations. It was a year of pulling weeds and planting seeds. A year of too much travel, more separately than together, that left us craving our cat-infested apartment. A year we escaped as much as enjoyed. We celebrated cousin Leah’s wedding in Fairfield in the summer. In the autumn, we celebrated our seventh anniversary in Cambria on the central California coast. And more than once we snuck away to the Edna Valley to replenish our wine rack and leave the flashy noise machine that is Los Angeles in the rearview.

In June, Camille left Ajilon to work full-time for Northwest Art Glass. She oversees the creation of the product catalogs from the home office. In August, she entered her 4th decade by celebrating her 30th birthday at a Venice Beach barbeque. Her paternal grandfather sadly passed away in November. In December, following her father’s knee surgery, Camille flew to Seattle to play nurse and cook him two weeks worth of leftovers. As usual, she’s made many new friends this year and continues to ponder when she’ll return to the world of Community Theater.

Despite the WGA strike that began the year, Matt maintained steady if not glamorous work in Hollywood. In April, he traveled to Las Vegas to attend the GAMA Trade Show where he and a couple other Dead Gentlemen promoted the Demon Hunters Role-Playing Game, released by Margaret Weis Productions. In August, Matt’s feature debut as a writer/director, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising, was released on DVD by Anthem Pictures. Dorkness quickly became Anthem’s fastest and best-selling DVD. The film screened at several conventions, including the world-renowned Comic Con in San Diego.

With a team that included an Emmy-award winning producer and an agent from Paradigm, Matt pitched his sci-fi TV show Hopjockey at four networks: ABC Family, the Sci-Fi Channel, the CW, and the Cartoon Network (oddly enough). Matt’s zombie horror TV show ALIVE, which he co-created with Star Trek veterans Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens, came within a meeting of being picked up by AMC. The producers on both teams are confident their shows will find a home, in some form.In September, Matt joined the staff at Epic Level Entertainment in Studio City, where he works part-time. The end of the year finds him writing another animated sitcom pilot for Israeli producers.

In December, under increasing pressure from Camille, Matt wrote this letter. He hopes nothing significant happens next year so he won’t have to write another. Camille just slapped him in the back of the head.

2009 promises more trips to the Pacific Northwest, a venture to Hawaii in May to celebrate Julia’s graduation, and a possible trek to visit family in Santa Rosa and San Francisco in the summer or fall (or whenever Matt wants a free meal).

We wish you many happy celebrations this holiday season, and good tidings in the New Year!

Much love,
Camille & Matt

Southwest Bound

Today we head back to L.A. While I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed and cooking in a kitchen that I'm familiar with, it's always hard to leave this place. Sometimes Matt and I think of moving back, especially when we see the cheaper rent prices in Tacoma. But that's not enough (yet) to pull us back. We are in L.A. for a reason, and we're going to do our very best to see that our time in L.A. is well spent. I intend to shop more at the farmer's markets and watch the sales at our local grocery stores. Katy is starting off the year with a great idea - Make It Yourself Parties - which should help ease the strain on the budget.

Matt and I have lots of plans for this year. As my MIL says, "Life is what happens when you're making plans." Hopefully some of our plans will happen, and some of them probably won't. I hope I can keep an open mind and be more patient.

Happy New Year!

I always make resolutions, and ultimately I reach them in some way. I only have a few this year, and of course, one is to loose weight. But I need to stop measuring myself on the scale because the more I work out, the stronger my muscles get and I start loosing inches, which is good! I'm down to a size 10 now, which is FABuLOUS! I love it. This just encourages me to go to fitness bootcamp more regularly.

I have a big motivator for this year - a trip to Hawaii in May. So not only do I want to lose a few inches, I also want to get healthy, and that means eating better. I start January 5th, focusing on low-fat but tasty foods. Cooking light and the cooking blog will be very helpful, as will the Master Cook program which tells me how much fat and how many calories are in the dishes we eat.

I am on my way to becoming a better person, sharing time and energy with friends and family. I enjoy cooking more and more and have found that it's ok to say "no" when I don't want to do something. At the same time, I'm becoming more open to new experiences while attempting to be more thrifty.

More on this later, I must join my MIL for another game of Scrabble! May you have a joyous, happy and prosperous 2009!

Northwest Bound

This afternoon we are finally on our way to the lovely Pacific Northwest. Because of the snow, our trip has been cut in half: from 10 days to 5, but we will make it work. With a wedding, a party, and a few friendly get togethers along with family gatherings, it it sure to be a busy but memorable trip.

And please, mother nature, please keep the snow at bay while we're up there!

We had a very pleasant first Christmas in L.A. this year. Matt wrote everything I wanted to say, so you can read all about it here.

And with that, I must go. The cab will be here any minute! Happy New Year to all!

P.S. I have to add that Christmas with palm trees just isn't the same.