Minor detail

Thanks to Jenny's comment, I realized I forgot to mention that Donny did email me back and said he couldn't take her. I guess his wife said no. :(

Yay for us though! She's ours to keep. And thank you for all the suggestions. We're trying them out, seeing which ones fit her personality.

Weekend plans include spending Sunday at Venice Beach with Ben and Mary. I'm excited to get to the beach and spend some time in the sun. But not that much. It's going to be hot and I don't want to get sunburned. 106 today in Burbank. YUCK!

Lena is going to be here next week! Well, in Disneyland, but still in the general vincinity. We're going to try to meet up the morning she leaves for breakfast or coffee or something (Lena, we need to talk this weekend).

Suggestions?

So far we've come up with:

Tragedy
Tradg
Tink
Tonk
Trixie
Curly
Kit

None of these seem to fit. Any ideas? We've just been calling her "Kitten".

A few days of YUCK

Los Angeles, CA Clear, 69°
Wednesday 98° / 68°
Thursday 96° / 68°
Friday 93° / 67°
Saturday 91° / 65°

Burbank, CA Clear, 72°
Wednesday 102° / 71°
Thursday 100° / 71°
Friday 98° / 70°
Saturday 96° / 68°

102 today at work? Thank goodness for airconditioning. 100 tomorrow? Now come on! This is a bit much.

I can't wait for fall when the temperature drops and I can go back to being comfortable.

Meet "Tragedy"

Isn't she precious? We'll see if coffee-house guy wants her.

I don't know if he can say no after looking at those big beautiful eyes and sweet face.

Little Kitty Update

I talked to Donny at the local coffee house to see if he knew of anyone that wanted a kitten. And get this! He has been wanting a cat for the last 6 months but his wife kept saying no. But he wants to meet her. So I'm going to email him a picture tonight and see what they say.

So this morning Matt took her in to get shots and have a thorough examination and everything is fine. Apparently she's getting even more comfortable in the bathroom and is playing, exploring, and finally using her litterbox. Matt's not sure now about giving her away, and neither am I. I don't know what to tell Donny at this point. Maybe to wait and see if she winds up getting along with our cats? It's only been a few days...I don't know what to do.

I do know, that if we keep her, PJ and Quinn will not be very thrilled with her at the start. Hopefully that can change. At the very least, maybe "Tragedy" will start chasing Quinn around and Quinn will lose some weight.

I'll post a picture tonight. She really is adorable!

New kitty?

Last night when we were shooting "Alive", someone came in from the parking lot carrying a little kitten. She was terrified and shaking, poor thing. We thought she had been run over by a car since he had found her under one (her leash, a shoelace, was caught). So Matt, Jon (who she was clinging to), and I raced her over to a nearby emergency clinic.

Her tail isn't broken. She had terrible fleas, and after the shock, beacame one of the sweetest kittens I'd ever seen. Rubbing against us, purring as loud as possible. Meowing and chirping, so happy. She got some tests done - totally healthy - at least so far.

We brought her home around midnight then Matt ran out to Ralph's to get some kitten food and litter. She's in the bathroom while Quinn is stalking the door, trying to catch a glimpse of this strange creature.

I'm so exhausted - only 5 hours of sleep after a 12 hour day of shooting. We're not sure if we'll keep her. Right now it's important to keep the kitties separated and let them get used to each other's scent.

If any of our friends in L.A. are looking for a sweet, good natured, loving little grey kitten with a slightly odd tail (it's a birth defect, in a little corkscrew, almost), let us know. If we can't keep her, we'd like to find her a good home.

Birthday Celebrations

Cindy and I at Knott's Berry Farm

(Thanks for the picture, Don)

Kari C. flew in from Seattle to help celebrate.

Matt surprised me with a lovely jade necklace - will post a picture of it sometime.

Dinner at our favorite Italian Restaurant with Pirate Jeremy, Katy, Don, Cindy, Matt, and Kari.

Saw Stardust at the Arclight.

Spent Saturday at Knott's Berry Farm with Dave, Cindy, Nicole, Jay, Jeremy, Katy, Don, Cindy, Kari M., Paul, Kari C., Matt, and me.

Great fun was had by all, I hope! Thanks for making it one of the most memorable and fun birthdays ever!

Things unsaid

I'm putting myself out there.

It's 11:11pm at night. I just got home a few hours ago from a wonderful day with my husband. As most of you know, today marks the 1 year anniversary of Mom's passing. I didn't cry. I didn't yell or get angry. We had a peaceful day outside the city, enjoying the scenery and each other.

I am feeling sad though, and not because of Mom. Or maybe so, I'm not sure. But I'm realizing, after reading friends blogs and emails, that I've really shut myself off from those around me. I've been rather selfish with my friends, I think, in that I've been so focused on myself and not sharing what's going through my head, however, I've not been that great of a listener either. I want to be open to new ideas, to new opinions. I want to be more flexible in what I do in my free time, and not make a fuss when my friends suggest something that I may not want to do. I feel like what I've done is cut myself off because I'm afraid of emoting, afraid of being vulnerable. Everyone says I seem to be doing really well but I'm not. I'm cracking, and it's going to hit soon, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Everyone seems to be having these amazing experiences, with their kids, with ther new jobs and families, with their new adventures. And my life just seems to keep repeating itself. I really don't know where this last year went, I don't remember much at all. Is that normal? Is that bad? That I can't remember who I talked to and what I said or what the other person said? I feel so terribly lost and confused, and I'm spiraling down, unable to catch myself and come back to my centered, stable self.

What makes it worse is that I feel terribly cut off from my friends up North. I rarely talk to them anymore and when I do, there isn't much to say because we haven't talked in so long. And I don't know what to say because I'm so caught up in my own emotions that I don't have room for much else. But I want to care and I want to know. I want to help. I want to hear what their lives are like and be able to relate to my friends. I'm scared that in a few years, we'll barely talk at all. Sure, emails and blogs are easy, but it's those phone calls that mean "I want to take the time to talk to you one on one because I care."

Is it strange I feel out of the loop with my friends who have kids? They are experiencing the wonders and joys of motherhood and I so enjoy reading their stories and experiences. It's like a free advice column for me when I have children (but we're not ready yet). And yet, I can't relate. I don't know what it's like to give birth, to breastfeed, to be up all night with a sobbing baby. And I'm so proud to know these women who are raising kids, yet I can't talk to them about it because I don't know. Anything.

I was talking to Matt today about how I want to be more aware, about history, culture, politics. I find that I want to be more like my Mother, who was so smart and well rounded in so many subjects. I feel left out when conversations are going on around me, with words and phrases I don't understand. I hate that feeling. Of being an adult and yet still feeling like I'm being left out. But it's my fault for closing myself off to new things. I need to be more open. I need to ask questions and start reading books, to cook more and slow down and enjoy life. I want to become more well rounded and insightful.

I want to be at peace.

A plea to my coworkers

Have some consdieration if you're gone from the office around lunch time and call those of us who are waiting to go to lunch so we can have a break too. Check your cell phone to see we've called you 5 million times and then think, "Huh, maybe I should call the office." Please, be gone all afternoon so the rest of us can starve waiting for you and the glorious moment when you walk through the door and I can throw you a dirty look before running out the door to stuff my face with my lovely TOGO's tunda sandwich.

Goings On

Figures. The only time I have time to blog, really, is at the Early home while I'm waiting for Don to get the board set up and Cindy's picking out her spells.

So much has been going on, I don't even know where to start. Michelle and Sharon were visiting last weekend from Alaska and it was fun to see them. I hadn't seen them since last March so it was a big treat to have them here. I don't know what it is about their visits but something crazy always happens to the 3 of us when they come to visit! We went to Knott's Soak City on Sunday (fun, but not worth 20 bucks) and on our way there a cop car merged on the freeway. He sped up in front of the cars and started swerving in and out of all 4 lanes! Everyone slowed down and started looking at other drivers as if to say "What the eff is this cop doing?" The 3 of us thought that someone stole the cop car and was driving drunk and/or on drugs. Turns out it was to slow down traffic and space out the amount of cars arriving to the scene of a new accident (which, incidentally, was a nasty one involving several motorcycles). It was really weird though, and I think the story of the car being stolen is much more interesting.

I had an interesting therapy session last night which involved my grief and lack of dealing with it. I mentioned to my counselor that when I was little, I loved my art class and used oil pastels all the time. I even won a few school district competitions (one picture I remember was a haunted house on a hill, the sky was green, and half of it was black - that was the hill - I thought the whole thing was gross and I couldn't understand why everyone was making such a big deal out of it). My counselor suggested that I start painting again, as a way to deal with my emotions so they aren't coming out at unexpected times, like at home in the middle of dinner or at work while in the middle of, well, work. It would also be, I think, a wonderful and emotional connection to Mom's memory as she was an artist herself. So, with the birthday money I'm told I'm getting, I plan on buying some new art supplies and starting to create once again. I've been asked by my counselor to bring a sketchbook and the pastels to our next session to use as an outlet while we're talking.

I'm afraid that this will crack my "emotional dam" even further and the flood gates will open and I'll be an emotional mess and not be able to bring myself back to center. I feel like I'm on the cusp of something very emotional and challenging, and also being on the cusp of being a grown, adult woman. It's very confusing and I just want to get there, without all the work. I'm tired of living sometimes, but I know there is so much joy to be had, and I want to experience without all of the sadness and anger. So this journey is a necessity, and hopefully (sooner rather than later) I'll be able to look back and say that I am better for it.

Less Sleep

I am not liking the street noises at night. I miss our old room, the quiet parking lot, and hearing the birds in the morning. Now all I hear are cars, buses, motorcycles, sirens, and helicopters. I haven't been sleeping well (if I do at all) these last 2 nights. It's to the point where I may be leaving work slightly early today just so I can get a nap in. We'll see if that happens. Fridays are my busiest days here and it's pay day for the candidates. I'm going to try to leave after the checks are mailed. Again, we'll see.

Something funny happened the other day. I'm only used to 1 bedroom, so when I was looking for something I was getting increasingly frustrated because I couldn't find it. Then I remembered that we have another room now and it could be in there...and it was! How funny. It didn't even occur to me to check the 2nd bedroom, and that's why we moved in the first place.

This weekend I plan on sleeping and also getting together with Michelle and Sharon, friends from Alaska. I've not seen them since they flew in earlier this week, so I'm hoping to get some quality time with them before work again on Monday. I think the plan for Sunday is Knott's Soak City but I'm not sure.

More space!

Matt called just a little while ago and we're all moved in! Of course, I take no credit. Matt and his friends did all the work on a hot Wednesday morning/afternoon. I can't wait to see how our new place looks and cook in my new kitchen!

And apparently, PJ and Quinn are completely freaked out, hiding under the bed and as close to the wall as possible.

My honey rocks. :)